Don't Mention Your Ex to a Lizard Person
Step into late-night radio chaos on The Other Side of Midnight with host Walter Sterling. In this jam-packed hour, investigative journalist Ross Coulthart joins live from Australia to dissect mind-blowing whistleblower reports of 7-foot-tall scaly reptilian aliens, Pentagon cover-ups, and covert UFO retrieval programs. Then, Ancient Aliens voice narrator Robert Clotworthy and master audio engineer David Abrahanmsen reveal the secrets behind $8,000 studio microphones and their new project, Mic Drop. Plus, Miami relationship expert Dr. Melinda DeSeta breaks down the top first-date blunders—like bringing up your ex or your mom—and shares a simple 20-minute "daily date" rule to rescue long-term marriages. To wrap it all up, Steve the Baker shares a late-night recipe for Candy Corn Cookie Bars.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-other-side-of-midnight-with-walter-sterling--7177415/support.
Speaker 1: This is The Other Side of Midnight.
Speaker 2: They're running a strange program, y'all.
Speaker 1: With Walter Sterling.
Speaker 3: Come out of your stupor, get set to go With
Walter Sterling and his wacky show Whether it's wrong or.
Speaker 4: Right It's the other side.
Speaker 3: Of midnight He has all the news and other people's
weather Dead air and jingles weaving together.
Speaker 1: Weird phone calls coming every night.
Speaker 4: But Walter doesn't stop till it's daylight.
Speaker 2: Walter has stories that are strange to hear.
Speaker 5: Sometimes they're even funny.
Speaker 2: He'll stop for the occasional advertisement.
Speaker 4: That's how he earns his money.
Speaker 3: He's got Florida stories and strippers on the loose.
Speaker 4: You know in China they call a penguin a business goose.
Speaker 2: That's probably not quite right. But it's the other side
of midnight.
Speaker 4: So get under the covers, it's time to.
Speaker 6: Go Shut out the lights, turn on the radio.
Speaker 7: It's gonna get crazy from this point on We hope
you know.
Speaker 4: This is the Walter Sterling Show The other side of midnight.
Speaker 6: Denise Richards has a $ 200, 000 facelift. How much did your
facelift cost? And Selma Blair. We have stunning audio of
her having an orgasm. And then there's David M., who's
here to review our show and go over it with us.
The great band Ween. Oh, yeah, one of your favorite bands.
Push the Little Daisies. On the hit parade tonight. I
think that's enough. I think that's enough.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 6: Ross Caldhart coming up in just seconds, live from Australia.
The Other Side of Midnight.
Speaker 4: The Other Side of Midnight.
Speaker 6: And Dr. Melinda DeSetta. Live from Miami, in just moments,
we'll explain why you haven't had sex in a very
long time. But first, Ross Coldheart, live, News Nation, Sydney, Australia.
Big week in UFO, UAP land. There's a lot of
drama and excitement about the Jace, what's his name? Jace
Stratton book, the Jace Stratton book. Ross, welcome to the
other side of midnight.
Speaker 2: G'day, Walter, and good evening, Midnight Misfits. Wow, you're absolutely right, Walter.
Jay Stratton's book is causing an enormous amount of interest,
especially in the Washington swamp. And one of the other
things that people are talking about a lot in Washington
since he raised his allegations on the Joe Rogan interview
just a few weeks ago is David Grush, the former U.S.
Air Force major who was a senior major whistleblower, went
to Congress, spoke to me exclusively on News Nation, where
he revealed in an interview on a major podcast his
knowledge of scaly reptilian beings living amongst us. His allegations
on Rogan have really promoted an enormous amount of interest,
and a lot of people are very, very keen to
know more about quite extraordinary allegations from somebody who's regarded
as I think probably the most credible of UFO, UAP
witnesses that have come forward in recent years. People have
to remember that David was the guy who wrote the
presidential daily brief. He briefed the president in intelligence briefings
every day, hand couriered these briefings to the White House
from his job with the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency. a very,
very trusted intelligence officer at the highest levels of the U.S. military,
making claims on a major show of reptilian beings more
than seven feet tall with powerful gorilla-like builds and scaly skin.
A lot of people might say, Walter, this sounds very
like a lot of our politicians in Washington. But anyway,
one of the things he described, and this has been
the subject of enormous incredulity amongst a lot of people
I've been talking to in Washington. He described alleged encounters
between U.S. military personnel and living reptilian beings, aliens, a
confrontation in which personnel reportedly fired on the beings with
casualties alleged to and reports of recovered craft associated with
these living reptilian beings and dead greys. And it's quite amazing.
I've decided I'd have a closer look, Walter, at the
whole issue of allegations of reptilians because it really is
one of those issues that won't go away. I've spoken
to so many witnesses who've told me that they've seen
these beings, they've had encounters with them, And it goes
right back in history. There are, in fact, if you
have a look at the Vedic records, the Mabharata, the
Hindu stories, there are renditions of humanoid reptilian beings going
back thousands of years. But in the more contemporary era,
it really started in the 1970s. There was a guy
in Italy called Pier Zanfretta. who reported his encounters with
extremely tall reptilian beings, 8 to 11 feet tall, with
this incredibly scaly skin and their reptilian head structures. And
then the first American case that we know about was
in 1973, Charles Hickson and Calvin Parker in Pascagoula, and
they described weird, wrinkled, reptilian, scaly beings with claw hands,
in humanoid form. And what's very, very interesting is that
the police in that case at Pascagoula deemed both of
these men highly credible. They even put a bug in
their room while they were talking inside their cell in prison,
because the police had locked them up for a day
or so. And it was quite clear the two men
were very, very rattled by what they'd seen. And the
fascinating thing, and this is something that you and I
have talked about before, Walter, is that when you tour
the megalithic ruins, these ancient stone ruins all around the world,
Angkor Wat in Cambodia, Sacsayhuaman in Peru, the Egyptian hieroglyphics
and the rock art in Egypt, there are renditions of
reptilian beings. And one of the things in South Africa,
there's a tribe, the Krido Mutwa South Africa, They've described
reptilian beings as part of their oral history. It goes
on and on. And so the big issue, Walter, is, okay,
so it's in the ancient Hindu and Buddhist Naga traditions,
their mythology. It's in the Mesoamerican serpent imagery and other
ancient traditions. Robert Howard, who wrote a story called The
Shadow Kingdom, talked about serpent men secretly infiltrating human society
by impersonating people, including powerful rulers. And then there was
that great TV series, V, in the 1980s, where it
popularized the idea of apparently human alien visitors who were
secretly reptilian. And of course, there's this guy, David Icke.
who in the 1990s, he's a Brit journalist, commentator, and
he started writing about this theory that he had, that
reptilians or reptilian-human hybrid bloodlines secretly control governments, monarchies, and
other institutions. He wrote a book in the 1990s called
The Biggest Secret. Now, a lot of us, I'll be
honest with you, my friend, myself included, have always been
very dismissive of notions of humanoid reptilians. But to hear
somebody like David Grush saying it, a guy who is
so stiff, you know, he even looks like he wears
a uniform where he wears civilian clothes. This is a
guy who lives as a serviceman, as a patriot. He
wouldn't lie about these things. And he's saying he was
extensively briefed about the whole idea of reptilians. And so...
There is a real question mark now about events that
have been described. There was a guy way back in
the 80s who claimed he was Phil Schneider, died in
very mysterious circumstances. I suspect Phil was murdered, but he
was found dead in a hotel room after he made
allegations in 1984 about a battle that took place between
US special forces and reptilian beings that in Dulce, New Mexico.
And the interesting thing is, there are witnesses that support
this story. So is there any actual evidence that reptilians
are actually living amongst us? There is no independently scientifically
verified evidence establishing this. There's no authenticated reptilian biological specimens
that we know about. But there may be, if you
listen to what David Grush is saying, the possibility that
there are these specimens hidden in some covert bunker somewhere.
What's really interesting is I've started testing the water with
people in the Washington swamp. What better denizen for reptilian types?
And they give this story credibility. I'm actually being told, Walter,
that people do give credibility to the idea that that
there are these alleged humanoid beings that are of reptilian
form that are part of the coterie of alien being
species that have visited this planet, along with greys, tall whites, nordics,
and mantid beings. So what are these beings? Well, by
the sounds of it, Walter, they're not very unique. friendly.
They've been fighting humans, killing humans, and we've allegedly been
killing them, my friend.
Speaker 6: This is Ross Caldhart, News Nation, great reporter, terrific friend
of the show. He's live in Sydney, Australia. The other
major event that happened this week was the publication of
Jay Stratton's book. And I've listened very carefully to the
very few quotes that he has given, the very few
public statements that he has made. And he said two
things that that disturb me. One is he says, I
have seen, what's that sound? What are you doing? I
have seen non-human intelligent beings. I have seen non-human intelligent beings. Okay,
that could be a dog. And it could be a cat.
He didn't say any more than that. He just said,
I've seen non-human intelligent beings. Yeah, that could be a dog.
And the other thing he says is we don't know
after these 20, 25 years, remembering his job, we don't
know why these beings are here. We have no idea
what is the reason, what is the source of them
being here. I'm like, you have 25 years to find
this out, Jay.
Speaker 2: I completely agree, Walter. Look, Jay has been a bit
more forthcoming He has said, I have seen non-human beings
and non-human craft with my own eyes. He's talking about
highly intelligent, advanced alien beings. And what's incredible about this
is that Stratton is presenting himself as a first-hand witness.
He's not simply an official relaying second-hand evidence from someone else.
And this actually echoes his earlier comments on the Age
of Disclosure documentary, which I really recommend people watch. He also,
in the same interviews and also in his book, has
said that both the defense contractor community and the government
have craft of non-human origin. And this is important, Walter,
because Stratton is somebody with the rank of a vice
admiral in the Pentagon. He's got one of the highest ranks.
civilian executive positions that you could get in the Pentagon.
He's making statements as the former head of the UAP
task force that are absolutely mind-blowing. He goes on to
say that a secret covert retrieval and reverse engineering program
for non-human technology, non-human biological samples, alien bodies, has been
going on for decades and He said he uncovered this
deeply hidden program, which he called the legacy program. And
he basically said that the reason why there's so much
stigma surrounding these stories and why people scoff is, frankly, Walter,
as you and I have talked many times, because we've
been lied to. It's been due to deliberate government disinformation.
He also made the quite extraordinary allegation that a nuclear
submarine was used to draw a UAP into observation range.
And he says it worked on their very first mission.
A UAP appeared. Quite extraordinary allegations. And I just hope
that he gets to give evidence in public hearing, Walter,
before a congressional public hearing, before the midterms. There is
talk of another hearing. And if there is, we will
be covering it exclusively for you and the Midnight Misfits.
Speaker 6: Ross Caldhart, News Nation. I just wish Jay had taken
like one picture. Just take one picture there, Jay. Thanks
very much. Thanks very much, Ross. Ross Coulthard, News Nation
on the other side of midnight on the Red Apple
Audio Networks.
Speaker 1: The other side of midnight with Walter Sterling. It's the
other side of midnight with Walter Sterling. Hi, I'm retired
NYPD detective Vic Ferrari.
Speaker 5: And on tonight's episode.
Speaker 2: Of Confessions of a Retired Detective.
Speaker 5: What happens when two detectives bring a live chicken and
hide it in their office mate's desk as a practical joke?
Speaker 1: Coming up in moments with Walter Sterling on the other
side of midnight. A business trip to a strip club.
What could go wrong?
Speaker 3: Details later, strippers on the loose, Walter Sterling.
Speaker 2: The other side of midnight, Red Apple Audio Network.
Speaker 8: Florida is a beautiful mix of diverse people and cultures.
Speaker 1: Florida Stories is about them getting arrested. I'm James Parker.
Florida Stories, still to come on the Red Apple Audio Network.
Speaker 6: The biggest all-night show on American radio.
Speaker 9: I'm Robert Clonworthy, the voice of ancient aliens on the
other side of midnight.
Speaker 6: On a magnificent... autumn night in North America, we are
privileged to have Robert Clotworthy, the voice of ancient aliens,
and David Abrahamson, who makes him sound good.
Speaker 10: If it wasn't for David, I would be in real trouble.
Speaker 6: Well, if you'd be in radio.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I'd be doing late night radio.
Speaker 6: You'd be doing late night radio now. David, I have
to just give 30 seconds here of why I'm so
dazzled by you. I have been in radio all my life,
a medium that allegedly knows things about audio. Turns out
we know nothing. The radio industry has basically used the
same microphone, an RE20 Electro-Voice microphone, since 1969. That is
what 90% of the broadcast radio stations use. And I've
always been like, can we? Isn't there a better mic? Therefore,
I use, I hope you'll be impressed, an RCA-77, but
I digress. Now, I have to tell you what Robert Clotworthy,
the narrator of Ancient Aliens and the narrator of The
Curse of Oak Island Gold, told me casually one day,
just casually. He said, well, you know, Walter, I have
four different mics. I said, what? Yeah, I have four
different mics. One of them is an $ 8, 000 Neumann that
they produced. They bought just for me. And I'm like, oh,
and then, okay, that was impressive. And then he said,
by the way, Walter, you know, they're all recording when
I'm doing the narration. I said, they're all on when
you're narrating? And then they pick the different track that
they think matches the video better. Is that what you're
telling me? That they edit the audio to that degree?
David Abramson, is that what's going on here?
Speaker 3: No, what's happening is every microphone has its own color.
It's like painting on a canvas. So every time you
use a different kind of microphone, you're going to get
a different kind of color and a different kind of
a feeling. And so I used microphones in such a
way so that I capture what the essence of the
performance is supposed to do. And so like with Robert,
he and I have been working together going on now
17 years, and we've spent a lot of time trying
to hone in, or I've spent a lot of time
honing in and getting the math just right the gain staging,
the impedance matching, all the way down the signal chain.
So there's a sound of singularity in place that gives
you the feeling of what the show is trying to do.
And we're trying to take all of the thinking process
out of what we're doing so that what you're left
with is this idea. The ideas are the main focal point,
and it lands on you just the way it was
intended to. And so in the case of Robert.
Speaker 6: We're using.
Speaker 3: a Neumann M49V. And that's an old microphone from many
jazz singers, made it popular, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald. But
the newest version of it has a variable polar pattern switch.
And with Robert, he's got a different kind of voice.
So most people say, oh, use a cardioid polar pattern. Well,
that doesn't cover all of it. You need to have
variety or the ability to find what it is each
performer is doing to really highlight that part of them.
And so in the case of Robert, I have to
use a variety of different switches that help me to
find just the right polar pattern for his kind of
delivery and his kind of, because when we're recording, his
body is moving, his head is moving. And so because
of that, I'm looking for the best way that I
can capture that flavor and at the same time give
you the feeling of what cream sounds like or what
does white water on the top of the ocean sound
like when a wave is broken. It's very pleasant to
the ear. And so we're trying to find that musical
quality in each person's voice and each microphone is able
to do that. And so just finding what that intention is,
we want to use that color. And so then we
don't have to focus on the technical side of it.
We can focus on the creative side of it.
Speaker 6: Once I learned that he has four different microphones, I
started watching the show differently. I started watching it, and
I realized that his voice's presence changes depending on what
we're looking at. If he's far from the pyramids, it's
one thing. If he's up close to the pyramids, another thing.
If we have to see that fraud Ziggy Hawass in Egypt,
his voice changes differently. How long does it take you
to edit the audio for this show?
Speaker 3: No, that's the whole point. It's like when you go
to Krispy Kreme Donuts, it's good right out of the box.
And that's the way it's supposed to be. There should
be no thinking involved at this point. All the thinking
should have been done in advance so that when it
comes to the actual performance, it's good right out of
the box. You just pop it in your mouth and
you're good to go.
Speaker 10: Yeah, and there's not a manual. We did this by
trial and error. At least David did this by trial
and error. So we just got an idea. Hey, what
about a tube mic? He's like, okay, let's try that.
We'll match it with this. We'll put these together. And
this is what we've created.
Speaker 3: I was at Abbey Road two years ago, and I
was talking to those guys at the studio. And we
were in the room where the Beatles had recorded and everything.
And I was asking them about, do you guys ever
use the Neumann Solution D, which is one of the
mics that we use? And they said, no, what is that?
What are you talking about? And they were going to
be recording an orchestra that day for a video game.
And I started telling them about the digital Neumanns. And
I started telling them about the tube version that we use,
the M489B. And it was like in the U89. Matter
of fact, I'm using the U89 right now. This is
how we're, I'm talking to you right now through this microphone.
This is, you know, back from the 80s. And we've spent,
or I should say, I've spent a lot of time
trying to collect microphones from all over different parts of
the world, whether they're from India or from Denmark or
from Washington State or from New York, from your home.
I think I think we got the Neumann from Billy
Ward originally, the drummer from the knack and yeah, I mean,
great guy and man, was he helpful. So it was like,
everybody kind of came together and we, we just built
this step at a time to get to where we are.
And so having that kind of spatial awareness that kind
of moved Robert and I into a different area because
we spent so much time trying to refine this sound.
We thought, well, this is so much fun. Maybe we
should find a way to incorporate this because we come
into the studio and it's like therapy for us. We've
had times where we've been up against, whether it was
the George Floyd demonstrations or there were riots that were
happening during COVID and people were looting different parts of
Hollywood and we would come in and we would be
recording and we'd have to get out of there right away.
So we always had our phones on. And as soon
as there was a break in the action or the
National Guard wasn't shutting down Sunset Boulevard, we'd jump in
our cars and we'd have to take off out of there.
But we needed to have something in place that made
us feel like we had the safety zone and we
could thrive in that space. And then we came together
and decided to put together an idea for a new
podcast for a show called, incidentally, Mic Drop. And in
that case, we're trying to– because he and I are
both from Los Angeles– And we both have a love
for things that are all LA-based. And we care about
our history and we care about the way things sound.
We decided to find a way to try to incorporate
that into a space so that the listener could feel
that same spatial awareness and also play a part, be
in the conversation with us, with our guests and with
our hosts, having that play with words, but we're not
focusing on the technical side of it. We want you
to feel the intimacy of the space. I think that
translates really well. For Robert and I, we're just lovers
of quality things. That's been our pursuit, is to try
to find that.
Speaker 10: He's the Michelin star engineer.
Speaker 11: Right.
Speaker 6: Now, you two have put together a podcast. Is that
what you just told me?
Speaker 9: Yes.
Speaker 3: We've been recording over the last six months, and we've
got a series of topics that we're highlighting in each
of our shows that are trying to basically bring attention
to people that you may not know or people that
you do know that contributed to our own experiences here,
whether it's in music or it's in motion pictures. We're
getting into... some niche like areas. But what we're talking
about is something outside of this automated world that we're
all headed towards. We want to stay in the analog
space because we spent so much time refining this thing
that we're pursuing. We want people to get the attention that,
I mean, this is an experiential thing for us. And
at the same time, we feel like the people that
we're talking to whether they're Don Randy or Robert Marguliffe,
or we're talking to people who were related once to
the Warner brothers, the original Warner brothers family, the four brothers, we're,
we're talking to people that we feel have a story
that needs to be told because we take so many
things for granted, but these things are there in place
because somebody put in the time they did the math
and we're able to be a part of something that
really contributed to our own experience and our own pleasure.
So we're, we want to give credit to that. We
want to give it its own space to thrive. And
so that people can appreciate that because in LA, he
and I are both from here. You're from, I don't
know if you're from New York or whatever the case
might be, but we take pride in our history and
we want to, we want to make that known and,
and at least give the experience to each person, that ability.
Speaker 12: Right.
Speaker 10: And we're not, we're not completely ignoring ancient aliens. We've
got one of our guests is somebody that is, Deeply
involved in NASA. I've had on the show. Found out
later on that she actually worked with the CIA doing
covert missions during the Vietnam War.
Speaker 6: That's true.
Speaker 10: So we get into some cool stuff.
Speaker 6: But everybody on your show has worked with the CIA
at some time. I'm pretty convinced of that.
Speaker 3: And we love Lake Titicaca. We love that place.
Speaker 6: Yes. I'm sure. Well, and the president of my company
is John Katsimatidis. And that is how you pronounce it accordingly.
His wife makes it very clear that that is how
you pronounce it. Robert Clotworthy, the voice of ancient aliens
and the curse of Oak Island gold. And David, as
Robert always explains, all gold on the History Channel seems
to be cursed. And there's David Abramson. Now, David, quickly,
how did you get to be here? What is your background?
What drove you to this amazing, astonishing job?
Speaker 3: Well, I started at Beverly Hills High School, and I'm
glad you gave me, Walter, the opportunity on the other
side of midnight to be on the radio legally because
before that, I was on the radio illegally because we
had bought an illegal FM transmitter back in 1993.
Speaker 6: Very good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was awesome. We ended up getting busted by
the FCC, and I was there when that had happened
at lunchtime.
Speaker 6: All right, now I want you to hold right there. Now,
I have to have you back on to just tell
that story. I need that story. And by the way,
I have to mention I was listening to you about
spatial relationships, how you choose microphones, $ 8, 000, silent floor. And
I'm thinking, how do we choose microphones at radio stations?
The answer is, does it work? Did it work the
last time we used it? Pretty much. Did it work
the last time we used it? That's how we choose it. Gentlemen,
thank you so much for being on the other side
of Minut. Robert Clotworthy, David Abramson, the geniuses behind Ancient
Aliens and the Curse of Oak Island Gold. Great to
have you on. You will be on again soon. I've
got to hear you.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Walter.
Speaker 6: You're being busted by the FCC.
Speaker 9: I'm Robert Clotworthy, the voice of Ancient Aliens on the
other side of midnight.
Speaker 6: With Walter Sterling, 36 past the hour, 36 past the hour,
the voice of Ancient Aliens. It's such an astonishingly well-produced
television show. Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. Now, it's Friday night, and
I know you have problems. I know what your problems
are on a Friday night. You want to have a date,
or if you're married, you want to have a date
and to be able to go out and then come
home and have sex. Therefore, you and I are going
to talk to Dr. Melinda DeSetta. Dr. DeSetta is live
in Miami, Florida, right there. I'm jealous, Dr. DeSetta. Welcome
to the other side of midnight.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 12: Hi, Walter.
Speaker 6: I have to ask the jealous question. And what is
the temperature in Miami right now?
Speaker 5: Oh, it's too hot. It's still too hot. I think
today was 95 degrees.
Speaker 6: Fabulous. Just fascinating.
Speaker 5: Don't come right now. It's still too warm.
Speaker 6: No, I don't. In my opinion, there's no such thing
as too warm, maybe for you, but it's fantastic. Now, Dr.
Melinda DeSetta is a highly experienced, well-trained, well-educated expert on
how to get along, on how to have the relationships
that you want, the relationships that you dream of. Is
that a fair statement about you, Dr.
Speaker 2: Melinda?
Speaker 5: Very fair. I help individuals and couples live their.
Speaker 12: Best sex life. So, yes, I help them get along
if they are hoping to have their best sex life together.
Speaker 6: Now, before we get to sex, which we will get to,
first we have to get through the date. The first date,
the challenge of going on a date with somebody. You
find attractive. You think they're terrific. You're a young man.
You're an old man. You're meeting this person for the
first time. And I know the interesting fact about a
first date is, especially from a woman's point of view,
is that anything can screw it up. The slightest thing
can end that relationship on the first date. Something that
a year into a marriage, nobody would even notice on
that first date. Everything, everything gets noticed. Is that right, Dr.
Speaker 11: Melinda?
Speaker 12: Yeah, it's probably easier to get a first date than
it is to get a second date. But this is
my forte. I love what I do. And I help
people be their best daters. But right now, I will
tell you, people are really struggling with dating to.
Speaker 5: The point where people have just given.
Speaker 12: Up entirely and people are not dating. You know, I
would say the biggest mistake that males are making on
a date actually is, well, one, being here in Miami,
they really try to arrive. They try to show up
as Rico Suave and pull off this whole shindig. That
really isn't true to who they are. And a woman
may not feel this. you know, this kind of false
face at first. But by the second date, if you
can't arrive that same way, you've completely lost trust. But
I would say on a first date, the number one
mistake males make is they talk too much about themselves
or they talk too much about their ex and they
forget to engage their date.
Speaker 6: I've heard part of that and I've never... I'm shocked
every time I hear that on a first date, second date,
or tenth date, either party will start talking about their ex.
Right there, I would lose interest. And in fact, I've
been married a while. And every now and then, my
wife has asked me a question about an ex-something. I say,
I only know you. You're the only girl I've ever dated.
You're the only woman I know. I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Speaker 12: This is why you've been married so long, because that's
a perfect answer.
Speaker 6: In all of my relationships, I have never had a
discussion about my exes, because it will only cause trouble.
How could anything good come out of that conversation?
Speaker 5: It doesn't, especially when you're dating.
Speaker 12: So for all of you listening out there, there are
subjects that are off-limits on a first date.
Speaker 5: And it's going to be your mom, and it's going.
Speaker 7: To be your ex.
Speaker 12: Your mom and your ex. Don't bring them up.
Speaker 6: Your mom and your ex.
Speaker 8: Okay.
Speaker 6: What else? What else should I not say on a
first date, Dr. Melinda? Sorry, Dr. Melinda. What else should
I not say on a first date?
Speaker 12: Well, you know what I think you should do on
a first date? And I want to go back because
I think I know why you've been married so long
because I think your answer is actually perfect of I
haven't met anyone before you. Nobody else mattered. That's really
flattering to hear.
Speaker 6: No, I don't say that. That's not what I say.
It's worse than that. It's worse than that. I say,
I never dated anyone before you. I didn't know any
women before. I was waiting for you, and that's it.
I don't say no one else mattered. I just say
I haven't met anybody.
Speaker 12: Wow. You take it to that extreme. And I try
to help my clients when they're dating because, you know,
I'm helping people.
Speaker 5: Work on and connect sexually, emotionally.
Speaker 12: Pair they'll say well I had this connection with my
ex that's really hurtful so my whole spiel to them
in therapy is nobody else previous to here here matters
I tell them that you're coming into this we're learning.
Speaker 5: How to have your best sex life with your partner as.
Speaker 12: If you were a virgin we're starting from the beginning
so that's really where.
Speaker 6: I like that's a really smart way to do it
that is a really smart way to do it doctor.
Speaker 12: And I also want to say men are not asking
women enough questions about them. Women are already programmed to listen.
So if men are just going to go on and
on about themselves, which a lot of them do, I
would say that's the biggest mistake I see is By
the end of the day, the woman is so emotionally exhausted.
She just can't wait to have a break from this person.
But then also the guy is like, whoa, I feel
really connected to this woman. I just opened up about
my mom, my exes, my life. I feel really connected
to them. I'm hoping to get lucky tonight. And when
they try, it's a huge rejection.
Speaker 6: Big mistake to try to get lucky on a first date.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is.
Speaker 12: You really have to read the room. But if you're
going to kind of talk about yourself and then think
you're going to get lucky, you're not going to. What
I believe is that conversation is the new aphrodisiac.
Speaker 6: And how should a guy approach that conversation?
Speaker 12: Questions, anything. You really can't go wrong. Just stay away
from some of the forbidden topics.
Speaker 6: Like what? Like what?
Speaker 12: I think it's the simple things. I hear from women
all the time, and these are single women or women
who have been in a marriage for two decades. They'll
come to me and say, nobody asked me how my
day was. These things are huge. To people who are
very busy juggling many things in their life, Just asking
the small things of how was your day? What were
you working on? Like these small things feel really good.
And they're good conversation starters on the date.
Speaker 6: And what shouldn't they ask?
Speaker 12: Don't ask about, let's see, don't ask about the exes.
Don't ask, start light conversations. Everybody needs to start a
little bit light on a first date. Keep it to hobbies, interests.
Don't ask about some of their family dynamics. Don't try
to get into the drama or pain points of their
life too quickly, too fast.
Speaker 6: All right, Dr. Melinda.
Speaker 7: Don't criticize.
Speaker 6: Don't criticize. In Miami, Dr. Melinda in Miami, who's an
expert on relationships, sex, first dates. Okay, now you're married.
And you've been together a while. Mistakes that wives tend
to make when they come to you for therapy, when
they come to you, are relationships falling apart, it doesn't
feel right, and you start to dig in and to explore.
What are some of the mistakes the wife makes?
Speaker 5: The wife.
Speaker 12: Women can be very good at powering through and not
opening up. So when small things happen, women will tend
to give an excuse to them or women will tend
to just kind of let them go and power through.
I think what I see oftentimes happen in a long-term
relationship is that women really start to fall into the
caregiver role. And they let that go for a really
long time until they almost feel like the mom or
the primary caregiver to their husband. And then that doesn't
feel sexy. That's no longer sexy. So we no longer
really want to, we no longer desire our partner in
that sexual way.
Speaker 6: When you listen to married couples and you hear them
one or two sessions, at what point And what do
you hear where you're going to go, they're going to
get a divorce. There's nothing I'm going to be able
to do here. If they're here to not have a divorce.
they're going to get a divorce. When you hear it
going down that slope, what are the signs of that happening?
And by the way, I think it might be a
good idea to talk to Dr. Melinda. I know about
your marriage. The phone number is 800-848-9222, 800-848-9222. The sure
red flags that this couple's headed for divorce.
Speaker 12: The sure red flags are when something becomes a habit.
And I see that habit typically when somebody hides something, right?
You're hiding something for a reason, but you could be
hiding something super small that you bought, or you could
be hiding something as big as a side piece, right?
But when couples are hiding something and you see that become.
Speaker 5: That habit, because it goes so much deeper, so much.
Speaker 12: Deeper as to why they feel they can't tell you.
Speaker 5: So those are red flags.
Speaker 12: I would also say... If there's no empathy, right, I
do have couples where one partner will really try to
make the effort to change something and the other partner
is just not meeting them there. And we get to
a place where I just say, one of my teammates,
because I call them teammates, one of my teammates is
working hard and the other person is not. And you
can't control them.
Speaker 5: So if you're not going to meet them in the middle,
this will never work.
Speaker 12: But I do rarely say that.
Speaker 5: I really do.
Speaker 12: I really hope that most of my clients feel that
they can successfully progress to a healthier marriage. But I
also don't necessarily believe that divorce is horrible either. You know,
going through therapy, you can also come to the realization
that this person isn't for you.
Speaker 6: When you see the slip slide to divorce, One or
two things as a therapist you pull out quickly and say,
try this, try this. Quick patches for a marriage that's
in trouble.
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: I call them daily dates. So this is something that long-term.
Speaker 12: Couples especially don't do. But what I say is carve
out a daily date. It's only 20 minutes a day.
put your phone aside and put your best foot forward
as you would have done on that very first date, right?
Because everyone tries to put their best foot forward on
a first date. During that daily date, just try to
connect with your partner through conversation. Conversation, learning who they
are today. That is something that We need to fall
back in love with somebody. So long-term marriages, you will
always love that person, but you may be in love
with them more at times and out of love with
them more at other times. So for couples who are
on the verge of crisis, I say date each other,
start from the beginning of falling back in love.
Speaker 11: Dr.
Speaker 6: Melinda DeSetta, that is brilliant. That is the most brilliant
marriage advice I have heard in decades. Go on a
daily date. Fall back in love. Something simple. Not a
big deal. 20 minutes. Put down the cell phone.
Speaker 11: Wow.
Speaker 6: Dr. Melinda, that's fantastic, and I'm going to try it.
We're not headed for trouble, but I'm going to try
it because there's no downside to that. And you and
I will discuss it next week. I'll give you a
report as we discuss more ways to To save a marriage,
to find romance, to improve sex with the legendary Dr.
Melinda DeSetta. What is the best way for somebody to
get in touch with you?
Speaker 12: You can go to my website, insight-miami.com, or follow me
on Dr. Mindy DeSetta on Instagram. Also, if you are
a couple out there who are just looking to connect
or spice things up in the bedroom, I have a
game coming out this Valentine's Day if you're looking for
a gift.
Speaker 6: All right, Dr. Melinda, thank you for being on the
other side of midnight, live from Miami, Florida. Walter Sterling,
Red Apple Audio Networks.
Speaker 1: The Other Side of Midnight with Walter Sterling.
Speaker 6: Ladies and gentlemen, Steve the Baker and Selena Ballerina. Now,
what's great about them is, unlike you, they actually have
their own jingle. Matt, do you have their jingle? Peel
the dough, eat the dough.
Speaker 10: J.B.
Speaker 5: Bakery, Selena and Steve.
Speaker 2: Sterling every damn night.
Speaker 6: Now, you have to ask yourself, why don't you have
your own jingle? And I think it's a fair request.
I think it's a fair request. Coming up later tonight,
we'll have a competition. Call in. Most satisfying answer to
our question, you'll get your own jingle in a surprisingly
short period of time. Steve the Baker, Selena Ballerina, JB Bakery, Burlington,
New Jersey. Steve, what is the... What is the recipe
for tonight? Do you have a recipe for the Midnight
Misfits tonight?
Speaker 11: I've got an up-all-night recipe for you, Walter. It's candy
corn cookie bars. Candy corn cookie bars.
Speaker 6: Is it simple to make? Is it something that even
I can make?
Speaker 11: Well, it depends. If you eat all the candy before
you make the recipe, you're going to have a hard time.
Just don't eat all the candy corn.
Speaker 6: What color is it when it's done?
Speaker 11: Well, this is a sugar cookie bar, and it has
a candy corn baked inside. And the candy corn, it
gives you an excuse to buy a whole bag of
candy corn. You know how most people just, like, they'll
buy a bag and they'll put it in that decorative
bowl and they'll leave it there all month of October
and take a few at a time and maybe eat
the whole bag? Well, this gives you a perfect excuse
because you get to bake with it. A lot of
candy corn, you get to also decorate with it. do
different things like you have cookie toppings and stuff like
this but this way you actually get to bake with
it inside this uh cookie bar it's a sugar cookie
bar and then what makes it even sweeter is is
we top it off right we top it off with
a white icing okay yeah nice and sweet as and
this is one of the candy corns is one of
the reason why high fructose corn syrup was actually invented
Because that's basically all it is. It gives it that
honey taste. And this is the hooker right here. You
have to get the recipe in order to find out
the brand of candy corn that is best. Because most
candy corn tastes like wax. It doesn't have any flavor.
But the brand that I'm offering in this recipe, right,
it tastes like honey. And it's sweet. And the high
fructose corn syrup is high. And it brings out all
the flavor.
Speaker 6: Go ahead.
Speaker 11: And this recipe, right, So this is the one that
you want to take to the Halloween parties, you know,
make for your kids to take to the Halloween party.
Or if you don't have a costume to your Halloween party,
you have to bring something. You can't go empty-handed to
your Halloween party. This is the perfect excuse for you
to bring this candy corn cookie bar to get all
the attention that you did not wear a costume.
Speaker 6: Excellent. Steve the Baker, the way you get this recipe
and discover which is the best brand of candy corn.
Walter.Sterling at wabcradio.com. Walter.Sterling at wabcradio.com. The recipe is free.
It is simple. You're not going to get follow-up emails.
You don't get on a junk mail list. We're not
scammy like that. Now, Selena Ballerina, who's also at JB
Bakery and close in a profound way with Steve, Selena
is up to be Miss New Jersey in a few
months in the Miss America pageant. How is this process
going along? How is the dress fitting?
Speaker 7: The dress is fitting good, and today I actually took
my first solid core class, so it should be fitting
even better by the time I compete. You might not know,
but Miss America actually partners with Rebel Activewear and also
the American Heart Association to do a hashtag Miss America
Fit campaign. So it's really important that I keep up
with these fitness classes as I lead up to the
next pageant.
Speaker 6: How rigorous is the core class, Selina?
Speaker 7: It's actually, you know, I took the basic class, and
I'm pretty active. Like, I didn't think I'd have a problem.
But because in solid core, they make you go until
you literally can't do the exercise anymore. You know, I
was sweating, and I was definitely, I'm definitely going to
be sore tomorrow. But it was a really good class.
Speaker 6: The heart and soul of the state of New Jersey, J.B. Bakery, Burlington,
New Jersey, Selena Ballerina, who will be New Jersey's rep
in the Miss America pageant next year, I'm sure of it.
And Steve, who's created yet another simple recipe for you
and me, a dessert. I only ask him to do desserts.
We don't really want anything but desserts, and they're simple. recipes.
You want one? You want it? Just send me a note, walter.sterling
at wabcradio.com. Big show, ladies and gentlemen, Friday night, the
other side of midnight, Red Apple Audio Networks.
Speaker 8: Thanks for listening to The Other Side of Midnight.
Speaker 1: If you like the podcast, share it with your friends and.
Speaker 8: Listen anytime at wabcradio.com and download the WABC Radio app.
Hit that subscribe button on all major podcast platforms. Plus,
follow WABC on social, on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and X.
See you next time for a new episode so you
never have to wonder, what the heck is going on here?