Lux Radio Theatre - Sorrowful Jones
Lux Radio Theatre - Sorrowful Jones
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Speaker 1: Hi, this is Bob Hope and the Golden Days of Radio.
Speaker 2: Hi, this is Frank Brazy inviting you to join me
for the Golden days of radio greg Moments from radio
programs of the past with the world's most famous personalities.
On this program, we are continuing with our salute to
Bob Hope as we present the radio adaptation of his
motion picture Sorrowful Jones.
Speaker 3: The Hollywood Radio Theater.
Speaker 4: The Hollywood Radio Theater adaptations of famous motion pictures with
Hollywood's greatest star.
Speaker 5: Here is your host, Frank Brazzy.
Speaker 2: Greetings again, ladies and gentlemen. From Paris to Pago Pago,
there's hardly a man, woman or child now alive who
hasn't seen or heard Bob Hope. And for millions of xgis,
Bob will always be remembered as the man who brought
a touch of comedy to Korea and a touch of
excitement to Europe. Bob traveled the world and entertained more
than any other comedian. When in Hollywood, he would stop
off just long enough to do a radio show, and
this time a radio version of his paramount picture Sorrowful
Jones and co starring with him is the lovely and
talented actress who made the picture such a success. Lucille
Ball Bob proved that people all over the world always
appreciate top entertainment. And now act one of Sorrowful Jones,
starring Bob Hope in the title role as Sorrowful, Lucille
Ball as Gladys, and Little Mary Jane's as Martha.
Speaker 6: This is a love story, the story of Sorrowful Jones,
who fell in love with money at the age of six.
They've been going.
Speaker 1: Steady ever since.
Speaker 6: In Midtown, New York, just off Broadway, there's a barber shop.
Speaker 1: Oh no, our hero is not a barber.
Speaker 6: He does his clipping in the back of the barbershop.
It's called a horse room. And if the police knew
about it, they'd close it up because betting on horses,
except that the race track is against the law.
Speaker 7: Alright, you guys, get in line, in line, snap out
of it.
Speaker 8: Course, dreamy Joe, one, we gotta play on piece.
Speaker 1: I feel awful, Dreamy Joe. What right a horse like
that got to win a race? He saw they have
to mix his oats with adrenaline. Come on, sorrowful Mijoe,
my doll. This kind of money will ever bring any
happiness me either. Shell out, We'll let go of it.
Speaker 4: You're choking, lak him.
Speaker 1: I was just waving goodbye. My hand got caught in
his beard. Say, wouldn't you like to bet at all
in the next race? Huh? Wouldn't you give me?
Speaker 3: Gimme you?
Speaker 1: Oh that good old Dreamy Joe.
Speaker 8: Hey, don't bother, I'm sam. He's giving his blood away.
Speaker 4: Oh bloody.
Speaker 5: Big Steve wants you should come up with to his
cafe right away.
Speaker 1: Big Steve. Huh, he doesn't Big Steve own Dreamy Joe.
What did you do? Tip? Everybody in the street except me?
He knew Dreamy Joe was gonna win. It was a
boat race, a big frame. They are the bar guys
like that from racing. I don't come running just because
a guy like Big Steve wants to see me.
Speaker 4: What'd you say?
Speaker 1: A guy like Big Steve can't make me come running.
Look plunk. Let's take an old fashioned walk, well the nose.
Speaker 9: It walks like a man.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry, honey, guess I wasn't watching him.
Speaker 10: Gladys Hello, sorrowful, I recognize the suit as soon as
you turn the corner.
Speaker 1: I got it. To train to turn it turn with me,
or say, don't knock this suit. Some people seem to
forget what some people used to spend on some people?
Speaker 9: Then where did you ever learn that word?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, I'd like to have a nickel for every bottle
of champagne I bought you.
Speaker 10: I was more naive than I believe that you could
make champagne by mixing ginger ale and rubbing alcohol anyway.
I Oh, look sorrowful, What beautiful violets and only twenty
five cents of fun.
Speaker 1: Come on, gladys, they've got dangerous thorns.
Speaker 9: Yeah, same old sorrowful.
Speaker 1: Oh, you've got me all wrong. I'm a big man now.
Since we folded the gatees, I've been going places in
show business.
Speaker 10: I hear it's wind place in show business.
Speaker 1: So I'm hustling. Vess it's a living practically honest.
Speaker 9: Well, I have to make a living too. And this
is it?
Speaker 1: You mean? Here in Big Steve's cafe. Well, hey, this
is a nice picture of you here on the poster.
Thanks you beautiful job of retouching.
Speaker 11: Oh who you supposed to be?
Speaker 1: Ikeabot or mister Toad.
Speaker 10: I've been singing here three months dorawful. Why haven't you
dropped by?
Speaker 1: Well I understood you were going with Big Steve.
Speaker 9: Well, he doesn't like me to have other boyfriends.
Speaker 10: But I could tell him you were my aunt, couldn't I.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a long sorrowful Oh no, I'm going into Hey.
Speaker 9: Big Steve can get awful nasty.
Speaker 1: You don't think I'm afraid of him? Do you're not me? Kid?
I can handle my fists.
Speaker 10: Yes, I remember, while you're handling your fist, somebody else
was handling your head.
Speaker 1: Well, you've never heard my courage question.
Speaker 9: I've never even heard it mentioned.
Speaker 10: Well, I gotta rehearse.
Speaker 9: Oh, there is his office, sorrowful.
Speaker 1: Well you think I'm kidding? Don't you just watch me?
Big Steve in there?
Speaker 4: Get here?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Hi, you fellas?
Speaker 1: Oh well, I didn't expect the crowd. I see every
book maker in town is here. Hey, what do you
think you're doing, Steve? You can't push your surround.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I share him out.
Speaker 1: Well, you can't push this wrong. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 12: A lot of them are all here, Steve, what's on
your mind?
Speaker 4: Okay? You guys all know I own a horse named
Dreamy Joe. I know we were gonna win today case
you bookies lost your shirt.
Speaker 1: Sh just look at me. I have to starch my
stomach and time of hair on my chest, and a
wins or not.
Speaker 4: The next time Dreamy Joe is out, he's gonna lose,
and I want a thousand bucks apiece from you guys,
just for making him lose a.
Speaker 1: Thousand bucks huh? And how do we know that as
soon as you get our dough you won't turn right around?
Speaker 4: And and what yeah?
Speaker 3: And what jarful?
Speaker 1: Well you turn around and around and feel I could
get dizzy that way?
Speaker 4: All right, Zack explained things.
Speaker 1: Well, it's like this, gentlemen, Dreamy Joe only wins when
I give him one of these pills.
Speaker 8: It's a speedball. One more speedball.
Speaker 1: Well, Dreamy Joel win the race, but an hour later
he'll be dead.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we could give him the speedball now, but I'm
waiting until I got a big bank roll a bet
on him. So for now, I'll just take a grind
from each of you. The next time, I'll dream me
Joe loses fair enough, Okay, sar full hand over the fee.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't handle that kind of money, Sam, I
don't even know what it looks like. Who's pictures on
a thousand dollar bill? Washington, Jefferson or Joseph.
Speaker 5: I hear this, and I hear it tells you were
a very fifty.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I'm just a little careful.
Speaker 1: I may have some small change with me. Let's see
what I've got in my pocket, says my skate key,
my Skyking X ray ring and uranium finder and a
lock of hair from Jane Russell's cocker spaniel. Well, what
do you know? No money?
Speaker 4: I suppose I have to get at the hard way.
Speaker 1: Huh no, no, I only hey, hey, what are you
doing to me?
Speaker 5: Jets going into the bull?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's my shirt. You'll tear my shirts.
Speaker 5: There it is boys, a money belt tied around his stummy. Boys,
he loaded.
Speaker 1: I might have a little hair, fellas, it's my mad money.
Here you are, Steve, here's a g Now, get out
of here and don't let it happen again next time.
I'll lose my temper.
Speaker 9: Leading so soon sorrowful.
Speaker 1: Oh, I got a big deal cooking, gladys. But I'll
be around.
Speaker 9: We'll be sure to come before six o'clock. That's when
the prices changed. Pick it up jill, look starts.
Speaker 1: Look down.
Speaker 4: They seem today maybe lofty like.
Speaker 5: All this ways, I don't no wonderful wit.
Speaker 7: Hey, sireful, gosh, boss am I glad to see you.
Everybody in town's bedlines ring me Joe. If that nag
wins again, you're clean that?
Speaker 1: Oh boy, look at this money piling up. I may
have to open a branch mattress. All right, hos next,
come on boys, put something in the pot.
Speaker 3: Twenty dollars on free me Joe to win.
Speaker 8: Okay, messed up? And where's the twenty bucks?
Speaker 10: Well?
Speaker 3: I was hoping you take my marker.
Speaker 1: Look, brother, we don't take. I who use some three
kinds of people men, women and children?
Speaker 3: But I I just don't have it at the moment.
Speaker 1: Pick up your market chum, have a dyed green and
come back some nerve. Hey, little girl, what are you
doing here? Hello? Hey? Somebody heist the kid up in
the counter so she can make her bet.
Speaker 4: Oh she she's my little girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well a k e the id k oh? Hey,
but how do you want to go home? Hey, you're
pretty smart.
Speaker 13: I'm four years old and I can counter to kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's big talk. Let's see you back it up.
Speaker 13: All right, I'll count your money.
Speaker 1: Now give me that, give me that. She's over four
out out, take the kid home.
Speaker 13: Let's go, daddy. I remember him and that book you in.
He's a monster.
Speaker 1: Monster. There's a little bit of Crosby and you kid.
Now watch yourself. I run this joint. I got plenty
of friends on my side.
Speaker 13: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well okay, then here here's a penny.
Speaker 13: But even nicklish carts twopennies.
Speaker 1: What are they making out of?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: Coffee?
Speaker 4: Martha Jane.
Speaker 1: That's all right. The kids right here, here's two cents.
Go stuff yourself.
Speaker 3: Oh thank you dan that mister Jones. I've got a
friend down the street. I know you'll let me have
the twenty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll hurry down.
Speaker 3: Well, if you could let me place my bet now,
I I I'd leave Martha Jane here till I get back.
Dream meet Joe's my.
Speaker 1: Only chance to get even. Oh you want to bet
on Dreamy Joe. I'll take his mark, I regret.
Speaker 3: Will be a good girl, Martha Jane. I'll be right.
Speaker 8: What happened was I didn't see him pull no gun
on you.
Speaker 1: Don't you understand, Dreamy Joe. He can't possibly win. It's
a frame up, a fix both and Dreamy Joe's on
the slowest boat as jockey, as Grandma Moses. Not only that,
they're gonna slip the horse up pill.
Speaker 8: How's that gonna make him lose?
Speaker 1: It's a four way colde tablet. You won't know which
way to run. Okay, fella, step right up and place
your vet. That Dreamy Joe looks off. He don't probably
one of them, right, Steve.
Speaker 5: I find this guy right outside to you, off his door.
Speaker 3: He listened to what you say, Steve, Please, I didn't
mean to listen. I came here hoping you'd loan me
twenty dollars.
Speaker 4: What did you hear?
Speaker 3: Honest, Steve, I.
Speaker 4: An't, he says, what did you hear?
Speaker 3: You know what I heard talking about the race? Weren't
you fixed it?
Speaker 4: Though?
Speaker 3: Dreamy Joe can't win?
Speaker 4: What are you gonna tell about it?
Speaker 3: If I ruined my life on horses? I'm washed up, broke,
but there's one thing I can still do. I'm getting
out of.
Speaker 4: Here, and I'm going to the police. You're gun where
seems to me?
Speaker 5: He mentions the look.
Speaker 3: If it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna see
the guy.
Speaker 4: Like you were.
Speaker 5: You better get rid of him boards for good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll get the cur me to your round back.
You're passing across a lot of hitting now with green
Demon winning it back too line surt this camp the
second thing going third.
Speaker 8: And bring me Joey Well, I said, boy, it's too bad.
Speaker 4: I'm okay.
Speaker 8: Sorry, Well, you can take your fingers out of your ears. Huh,
it was right dream me joe laws.
Speaker 1: Oh how about that? The last thing I heard? He
was out in front. What was that crooked jockey trying
to do? Win? Oh? I gotta get out of this racket, regret.
This is too much of a stranger. I wonder if
it's too late to get into television.
Speaker 7: You've had a big day for us forty two hundred
dollars forty two before.
Speaker 1: I feel better already. Maybe if we could plant a
little of this, we could grow a money tree. Huh.
Speaker 4: Hey, what's this?
Speaker 8: That's the tab we took for that guy's twenty.
Speaker 1: Well didn't he come back? No? When he does get
the twenty before he takes back his kid? The kid
well she oh, she was sitting right out.
Speaker 4: How do you like that?
Speaker 1: Gone? Every time? I get big hearted.
Speaker 7: When was the other time? I'll forget her. Boys, let's
go with a Big Stevens celebrate.
Speaker 1: We got nothing to celebrate. Besides, I wouldn't pay a
cover charge to hear the laddys sing. She sounds like
Jessica with they're net dragging. I'm going out and look
around for that dog.
Speaker 8: Okay, I'll close up here.
Speaker 13: You can't just gets back.
Speaker 8: Hey, why are you right here? And how do you
like that?
Speaker 13: I guess say much a sola slee I.
Speaker 7: Hate to turn a sweet little down like you over
the sirenpl but I got three miles to feed to.
Speaker 8: One my wife.
Speaker 13: What will I do?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 4: Sorrowful?
Speaker 7: Will find you? Popa right, nobody's sorrowful. Can't find that
owes him twenty bucks.
Speaker 13: But I'm hungry.
Speaker 8: Tell me when I'm killed, do kiddo.
Speaker 7: I'll take you over there to the Big Steve's cafe
and put on the feedbag.
Speaker 8: Come on, we don't know what they do after we get.
Speaker 4: The married.
Speaker 1: One mother beg.
Speaker 4: Line.
Speaker 10: I want.
Speaker 1: I'm a little long wish.
Speaker 3: I've been waiting so long.
Speaker 7: You work, I got anything simful for a guy that
wasn't coming here.
Speaker 8: You're awful present.
Speaker 1: My boy Scott Troopers holding a meeting here tonight. The
victim mowne Beaver patrol. So you found the dollar? I regret?
What about my twenty bucks? Have you got it? Or
can I tie my shoelace? Well? What about?
Speaker 8: Are you know what?
Speaker 1: Or you know what? Has taken a powder? We hold
her till he comes across. I'm not hungry hungry? What
about that two cents worth of liquorice? You want to
get jowels? Do you want to look like a four
year old Kate Smith or a five year old Ted
Collins said on money.
Speaker 10: Well, I didn't expect to see you back here so soon.
Speaker 1: Oh hello, glad us, say I heard you you've been
taking singing lessons. Huh, that's right now. If he can
get your singing teacher to take some lessons, you're all set.
Speaker 10: Are you babysitting to earn some spending money?
Speaker 1: Well? You mean this little doll here?
Speaker 7: My father left her on a horse rum for a
twenty dollar marka. The horse flaws, the room man ain't showing.
Speaker 13: I want my daddy. What's your name, dear Mirtha Jane Smith?
Speaker 9: Well you know where you live?
Speaker 8: I live in the.
Speaker 13: Big car house. Well that's and not the windows and doors.
Speaker 10: Hm, you better call the police, dorofl They don't know
what to do, not on your life.
Speaker 1: Why they'd fingerprinter, she'd have a record overnight.
Speaker 8: That's sorry.
Speaker 7: It sorwful loves Martha changed very much twenty bucks worth.
Speaker 13: I'm frozy.
Speaker 10: Haven't you ordered her anything to eat?
Speaker 12: Eat?
Speaker 1: You wanna ruin this kid's figure so well doesn't like you.
Speaker 10: All of course he likes you, Martha, and he's going
to buy you a big dinner, big dinner.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 10: If he doesn't, I'm going to call the cops myself,
and then Uncle Dourovile will be out twenty big clisp
dollar bills.
Speaker 1: Okay, waiter, bring us little lady that works at Bowl
of Cornflakes two spoons.
Speaker 4: Hey, I got a little kid like that at home.
I feed her steak for supper.
Speaker 1: After the tip you're gonna get you be back on
corn flakes. Freakscape for shepher kids has been around. Why
don't you order file at Mignon? Oh?
Speaker 13: Thank you?
Speaker 10: And a snake kie mm and a stake potato and
some spinach and.
Speaker 12: A nice big glass of milk and some strawberry shortcake.
Speaker 3: That's what I give my kid for supper.
Speaker 4: Now, what can I do for you?
Speaker 1: Adopt me?
Speaker 8: Hey, look for its matha Jane. She's falling asleep.
Speaker 10: Right here at the table, which reminds me where does
she spend the night?
Speaker 9: You better take her to your plate and put her
to bed.
Speaker 1: I'm no nurse maid. Besides, my room is too small.
I have to sleep with one leg out in the hall.
Speaker 3: Why couldn't one of you.
Speaker 10: I'd like to stareful, but I don't finish until one
o'clock and this poor kid's got to get to bed.
Speaker 8: Now, we really got one. That's my hunts and my
wife even objects the me shining.
Speaker 1: Well, let's wake the kid up. We'll slip her some
strong coffee. Maybe she'll think of something cheap.
Speaker 10: Oh sorrowful, for once in your life, why don't you
do something nice for somebody?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I'm the fall guy. I could see it
all coming. The minute I make a few bucks. Everybody
wants to move in. Say, waiter, will you wrap up
the rest of that steak for my dog?
Speaker 4: I'll get a bag.
Speaker 1: You haven't got a dog? Quiet? Come on, shorts, Wake up, shorts,
this is it we travel.
Speaker 13: He's my daddy, can yet?
Speaker 1: No, But if he's not doesn't come by morning, I'm
gonna put an ad in the scratch sheet.
Speaker 9: Dorocle will be very nice to you.
Speaker 1: Honey.
Speaker 10: You'll take care of you until your daddy comes.
Speaker 13: I guess you really not a month in its staffle.
You just look like you want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I just look like on ha. Come on,
blow mister saffles.
Speaker 13: Yeah, help me with the button freeze.
Speaker 1: I mean I got to undress you too. What kind
of buttons are these? You sure you haven't got this
thing on backwards? Or were you in the navy? Honey?
You mustn't laugh on this show. You'll start a trend.
Steady now, steady, now, where is the bathroom?
Speaker 13: Please?
Speaker 1: The powder room is over there. Just keep going, shorts,
and I'll fix your bed. Ah, she can sleep on
the sofa. I'll just put this sheet over it, toss
on a blanket and give her this pillow. Now this
is the soft one. I'll give her the other pillow,
the one that's stuffed with luxe wrappers. Okay, Shorts, come out,
hit the sack. Your bed's already, I'm coming. Good night,
good night, watch us noor and see I'm a very hey.
Hey that's my bed.
Speaker 13: I know it is, and it's very nice, and you
let me sleep in it.
Speaker 1: But the sofa I just made up the Okay, okay, princess,
you sure you're comfortable?
Speaker 13: Oh yes, naice's that?
Speaker 1: Yes? Well? Can I get anything? It's allow me sand
with your slug a pabulum.
Speaker 13: Mitt you God for I want my daddy.
Speaker 1: You want your daddy? What makes two of us?
Speaker 13: My daddy used to think to me when I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.
Speaker 13: WEE couldn't s sing, then I wouldn't feel for one.
Speaker 1: Sleep scar I start singing in there, we'll both be lonesome. Okay,
you gotta have singing to go to sleep house this
mute world. No, it's just good for putting mules to sleep.
Let me see, gotta have singing, sweet idle line maya
no need two other guys in Phil Harris for us. Look,
I just happened to have the racing farm here. I'll
read your story. Huh me see okay, rock a bye
baby at Pimla Coe. Here's a smart horse. I'll bet
him do show This one's a sleeper. Hope you're the same.
Here's a good jockey. Sandman's his name? Why in your paddock?
Count Benny sheets but twenty fives one little long?
Speaker 13: Oh what a corny character. But I he means, well.
Speaker 1: He jump with you more, He'll be back with I.
Speaker 6: Two h dorrible jos.
Speaker 14: The thing the.
Speaker 15: Thing.
Speaker 9: I am a poto young and Bree.
Speaker 10: You've got no power over me, no power over me.
Speaker 1: I'm sick of from red and thick of doing nothing
else to do?
Speaker 13: Couse, I know what is what and what is down
the thing?
Speaker 6: To do the thing to.
Speaker 10: My Frienden, I need in no intention took it to
come out.
Speaker 4: Needs to go red.
Speaker 10: Moment and do you come everywhere?
Speaker 1: No care about the image I was gonna be the coin.
What is what?
Speaker 4: And what is that?
Speaker 8: Nothing to do?
Speaker 13: Stop that joke?
Speaker 5: And now here again is your host?
Speaker 2: The curtain right is on the second act of Sorrowful Joanes,
starring Bob Hope and Lucille Ball.
Speaker 6: Oh well, it's early the following morning and the visitor
has just arrived a sorrowful Jones apartment.
Speaker 13: Is that my daddy?
Speaker 10: It's me, honey, gladys Well, someplace you've got sorrowful Just
the thing for a kid. What time does the baths
fly out?
Speaker 1: I don't keep track of them a long as they
pay their rent? What brings you here?
Speaker 10: I've got some oatmeal here for her breakfast?
Speaker 1: What do you think I was gonna give her pickled octopus?
I got coffee in the stove right now? Yeah, donuts,
that's what I thought.
Speaker 13: Did you dipold? Why is he nap?
Speaker 1: Because okay, I've been given her a bath of things
you gotta do for twenty bucks.
Speaker 10: Well, I'll finish your bath and then I'll make her
some breakfast. Boy, it's a good thing I showed up.
She'd had the first case of bury Berry on Broadway?
Speaker 1: Very burry? Does she have to have two of everything?
Speaker 9: Are you doing? Honey?
Speaker 13: Flangin sign?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 9: Where's that horsh claw?
Speaker 1: Just look at the high gloss I got on her shoulders.
Speaker 4: Well this is a nice to me picture.
Speaker 1: See big Steve?
Speaker 4: Oh, we'd luck your door.
Speaker 1: It's terrible.
Speaker 4: That's rule number one. Man. I wanna talk to you.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can explain everything, Steve. I guess you're thinking.
The minute you turn your back, Gladys runs into some
handsome guy's apartment.
Speaker 4: That occurred to you again? To take a good look
in the mirror.
Speaker 1: No cracks about my face. Carry Grant is so jealous
of me, he's having another hole drilled in his chin.
Speaker 4: I I can't pay here to make you a business proposition.
Speaker 1: Oh well, after what I went on Dreamy Joe yesterday,
it's like you were singing in my ear.
Speaker 4: I need five thousand bucks.
Speaker 1: Now, songs over.
Speaker 4: I said, I need, Doe. Now write out of check.
I'm gonna run Dreamy Joe again, only this time he wins.
He's getting that last speedball. Yeah, but five thousand dollars,
you heard me?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, five thousand. I don't know if there's
enough blood in my fountain pen the check, the check
you forgot to sign it. I don't have to. The
bank will recognize the tear drops.
Speaker 4: By the way, the racing commission just took away my license.
Speaker 1: Oh well that's different. No license, no race. Well, I'll
tear up the check now.
Speaker 4: Look, do you have to find a new owner. That's all.
And my friend Doc Adam slipped in the speedball and
dream me Joe Winn. You'll have so much money about
to crawl over it to get the bed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, gee, money, Now I'll be able to get what
I've always wanted, more money.
Speaker 4: Go ahead, Sorra will give me the check.
Speaker 1: Check save us that good. You can have the cash.
I turn around while I get us out of my sock.
Speaker 4: Holy cow, what a bank roll?
Speaker 1: Stop peeking? Okay, here five, geez?
Speaker 4: Thanks? Now look about a new owner?
Speaker 1: Well and illy, Now we'll get wet again. I'm busy.
Speaker 4: Hey, hey, what about hurt gladys? No, no, the kid
in there, she has kind of an honest faith.
Speaker 1: Hey, not bad shorts. Couldn't double crosses, could she?
Speaker 4: Who is she?
Speaker 1: Oh, one of the neighbor's kids. I rent her my tub.
Speaker 4: What's her name?
Speaker 1: Uh? Marsa Jane Smith?
Speaker 4: Alright, tell us she's got her horse running in the
feature race on Thursday, and tell her not to go
shooting her mouth off to the other kid.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, I'll put glue in her bubble gum.
Speaker 4: Hey, got it? Have a little breakfast.
Speaker 10: Well I better stay here, see just to see the
sure who doesn't give the kid an after breakfast cigar?
Speaker 4: Okay, but don't let this kid to be a habit
with you. I came remember, Oh your regrets. Okay, I'm
just leaving.
Speaker 8: Oh, it's everybody doing up in a thread?
Speaker 13: Time glomus mift you regret?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 8: Hello, honey, Uh get rid of the kid?
Speaker 3: Boy?
Speaker 8: What get render the kid?
Speaker 1: Okay, hey, shorts, I think gladys better take you inside
and finish dressing.
Speaker 13: You come on, honey, cares some bacons to back it?
Speaker 1: Bacon, I just bought your horse.
Speaker 13: I'm my dad.
Speaker 1: Your what color plaid?
Speaker 4: Who cares? What color?
Speaker 1: Does the mile and one thirty seven with blinkers? Now
get in that room?
Speaker 6: Say what is all this?
Speaker 7: I don't know nothing about a flat horse clatters. All
I know is what's in the morning paper. Well, Martha
Jane's old man. They found him in the East River.
Oh no, here it is Uncle Smith, and in his
pocket a certain book.
Speaker 8: Make this ticket? But t when he clams on dreamy Joe,
he got knocked off. Somebody bumped him.
Speaker 9: Oh the poor little kid.
Speaker 10: See, we better turn her over to the police.
Speaker 9: They don't know where to find her mother.
Speaker 13: This gladness we outlet. He's fighting sleeve.
Speaker 10: Sure, honey, Well, I guess you'd like to go home
now and see your mommy.
Speaker 13: Huh, but I can't do that?
Speaker 16: Why not?
Speaker 13: My day says she's never coming back only can't you
even know what she looks like? This clatters genuit you
my new horse?
Speaker 10: Sure, honey, sure you can see your new horse?
Speaker 13: You mean mind Jemmie Joe's who night?
Speaker 10: What that's right? Martha Jane at the presence and this
is awful.
Speaker 7: It's something pretty on any your horse and all of
them nice new clothes, Gladys for you.
Speaker 1: She's a big spender, that Gladys with my money.
Speaker 10: Come on short, let's take Dreamy Joe for a walk.
Speaker 8: Hey, yeah, how much of this deal is Gladys now?
Speaker 1: Oh, she knows a very good percentage. I have to
tell her that I need the kid now so we
could raise Dreamy Joe next.
Speaker 8: Thursday, and the speedball the uh fi X.
Speaker 1: Stops showing off anyway, Glattys wouldn't understand. She's one of
those high minded dames things gambling as a sport.
Speaker 8: Well, how long as the kid stays with you the
laugh of the race, you're in good shape.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm in great shape. I'm holding a hot kid.
The cops would love to find a gent was murdered
with my marker in his pocket. I mixed up in
the crooked race. And if I try to resign Big
Steve when once over sam Or beat me to death
with her pinkies. Oh, I'm in sinne shape.
Speaker 8: Excuse me if I disappeared. For there's a detective named
Riardon approaching.
Speaker 1: Reardon. Talk to Reardon. Will y'all, I'll hide Martha Jane.
Speaker 3: Oh, Gladdy?
Speaker 9: Hi, who minding city hall?
Speaker 8: It's in good hands?
Speaker 12: Say what was sorrowful to take her? I wanted to
talk to him. I hear his last time of a
little girl.
Speaker 9: H it's me and not a big girl.
Speaker 12: I'm talking about the little smith's girl.
Speaker 9: Oh you know about her.
Speaker 12: Registering a horse in the kid's name is a funny
way of trying to hide her.
Speaker 10: Look, mister Riden, Wow, if you could just sort of
not see her around for a couple of days, just
until dreing me Joe run, he might win thirty five
hundred dollars.
Speaker 12: I didn't say I was gonna put the cuffs on
her little game?
Speaker 10: You mean there's a heart under that bag?
Speaker 12: I hear it ticking once in a while. Well, I
better try to find sorrowful.
Speaker 1: Is that you got us? I'm here in the stable.
Is he gone?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 5: Not yet?
Speaker 1: Oh? Oh? Where no? Oh? How are you? Well? What
are you doing here?
Speaker 4: Some horse?
Speaker 1: Steel? A blanket where it's a little girl? Little girl?
What little girl?
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 1: Care for a bucket of oat?
Speaker 4: Slumper sugar?
Speaker 1: Give you a rub down? Braid your tail? That Smith's girl,
This girl never met her, but I bought some cof
drafts from her brother's little girl. Huh how tall like so?
Speaker 4: Not my type?
Speaker 1: You better ask make you rooney, I'm just around here.
Horses us up.
Speaker 12: He look, I'm talking about the kids you're trying to hide.
You know what they do to you for kidnapping. They
sit you in a big chair, scrap your legs in
and they strap your arms in on your head. They
put a steel cap and then they turn on the electricity.
Speaker 1: Does it hurt you?
Speaker 3: Hurt you?
Speaker 1: It ruined you?
Speaker 3: Why it even?
Speaker 6: Hey?
Speaker 12: Gladys better get some water. Laughing boy just fainted.
Speaker 1: Here we are shorts. This is it tight?
Speaker 13: It work for times? Your pint as glad as.
Speaker 1: Thank you to her party who bought the paper cups.
Speaker 13: He's funny, isn't he?
Speaker 1: Go on? Get ready for bed.
Speaker 9: Good night, honey, see when you come in, kiss me
good night.
Speaker 13: SIFU?
Speaker 9: What did she say?
Speaker 1: Oh, it's a new thing kissing her good night. You've
been seeing those pictures in the paper of Alban and
his bride.
Speaker 10: You know, under that hide of yours you're practically a person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you better head for the cafe. It's about
time for you to do your number, the one you
sing off key A good one.
Speaker 9: Oh, I have time yet?
Speaker 10: Storical what happens to Martha when the race is over?
Speaker 1: If I can stay clear of Riar in that long,
she'll get the air? What else? Uh?
Speaker 16: Huh?
Speaker 10: Okay, if I have a drink.
Speaker 1: Go ahead? Do you know the combination?
Speaker 9: Well, I can see the bottle, but where are your
two straws?
Speaker 1: Don't bother? All I want is a little taste. So
after the race you just disappear.
Speaker 12: Huh.
Speaker 1: Well, maybe she'll latch onto somebody, some nice couple with
a front lawn.
Speaker 10: Have you been taking sentimental pills? I haven't heard you
talk about front lawn since that night?
Speaker 1: And O maha, yeah, I'll never forget that night we
had dinner in that wonderful chop suey joice mm m
boy was that expensive?
Speaker 9: And then after we tossed for the check and I lost.
You got kind of romantic.
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't want you to embarrass me by leaving
too small a tips. You know, let us Martha Jane's
crazy about you.
Speaker 9: I'm crazy about her too.
Speaker 1: If she had you and a father, she'd have a
complete set, sure she would. Well what about you and
h and yes, you and big Steve?
Speaker 9: It's later than I thought?
Speaker 10: So long, but your drink or it back in the
bottle and dive in after it?
Speaker 1: Well, what are you sorrow about?
Speaker 9: I just think I better get to work. Big Steve
might not like it.
Speaker 1: So long, tyrone dames, go figure 'em. They act like
a bunch of women. Hey, you short? How you doing?
Speaker 13: I'm already? Aren't you gonna read me a story? This book?
Speaker 1: Do one?
Speaker 13: Ain't nast isn't it?
Speaker 1: And now it's ant latters. It's good you got rich relatives.
Speaker 13: Mistercivile, Why you said a tight wad?
Speaker 1: I wait a minute. Talking like that ain't nice. It's
no telling who might be listening.
Speaker 13: You mean God?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Maybe, mister have you ever seen God? Well no, he
doesn't hang around horse rooms very much. But if you
ever want anything, why you just ask God? And often
as not he comes through.
Speaker 13: You mean, right? Letters makes ten a glood.
Speaker 1: Oh that's where praying comes in. You say, three cents,
this dicible.
Speaker 13: Teach me how to pray.
Speaker 1: I wanna ask to something I never knew a dame
who didn't. Okay, Only don't go telling people about this.
I don't want it to get around you. See now, Neil,
why should I kneel? How don't I know? I don't
make the rules like a racing commission makes the rules
of the track. I guess there must be a pray
commission someplace.
Speaker 13: Now what do I do?
Speaker 1: Well? Just say like this. Now, I let me down
to sleep.
Speaker 13: Now I lead me down to seet.
Speaker 1: I pray the Lord my soulder.
Speaker 5: Keep.
Speaker 13: I praise the Lord, my soldier.
Speaker 1: Keep. If I should die before I awake.
Speaker 13: Why should die before I wake?
Speaker 1: I pray the Lord my soulder. Take.
Speaker 13: I pray the Lord, my souldier, take.
Speaker 1: God less, sorrowful gladdess. Regret than everybody.
Speaker 13: Got a sorrowful redis regret and everybody and.
Speaker 16: Jemmie go too.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, him, most of all, he's the closest to going, And.
Speaker 13: Jimmy Joe. Most of all, he's the closest to going.
Is that all?
Speaker 1: That's it? That's the works well, when do I ask
for what I want? Oh? You better slip it in
right now, quick while your prayer is still hot.
Speaker 13: Please your god by miss your sorrow for new shoe clothes.
Speaker 1: With two pair of pants?
Speaker 8: Please?
Speaker 13: What two can dance? Good night's?
Speaker 1: Good night shorts?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: Steve?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was it. I what's over? Sam?
Speaker 3: Steve, I'm trying.
Speaker 4: All morning to catch what's wrong?
Speaker 3: That's blackfoot Ridder.
Speaker 4: He gave me the business.
Speaker 3: You remember that little doll at Sorrowful?
Speaker 4: Yeah, well Rid didn't say.
Speaker 12: She belongs to the gent we catch at the ufice,
the one whose last address is East.
Speaker 4: Get over there, Sam, shut Sorrowful up and get that
kid out of sight. I think got around so clothes
may get read and ideas well.
Speaker 3: What must I do with uh?
Speaker 4: I don't care what you do. Just get rid of her.
Speaker 14: Okay, Steve, My mom my wid oh.
Speaker 9: Tella, No, I don't believe it.
Speaker 10: A new suit?
Speaker 13: Looking here, guys, shout for you?
Speaker 1: What's this?
Speaker 16: Beautiful?
Speaker 1: Temmy?
Speaker 13: Jill?
Speaker 1: Well you like it.
Speaker 10: It's like Rembrandt painted a dish of chicken fat.
Speaker 1: Drink it in. I gotta be back in the window
by twelve. The material is reversible. The jacket opens up
into a record player.
Speaker 13: And new shoes, but every piece their new.
Speaker 1: Suit, stool, pigeon, cant of citizens get dressed up if
he wants.
Speaker 4: To, I come for the chick.
Speaker 5: She's going on a trip.
Speaker 1: A tip is to make daddy get in your room, Shorts.
I'll give you the rundown later. All right, Sam, who's
going on what trip?
Speaker 5: According to Steve, the kid's gotta get lewis, such as
out of town or in.
Speaker 1: The up and home. But she's not anybody's way missed
the Jones.
Speaker 5: It is not possible to eat corn under cob without
front teeth. Uh we wuld you like to find that
out for yourself?
Speaker 9: Sor uncle?
Speaker 10: Don't let that big ape push you around.
Speaker 1: Well, I'll try to control my temper. Look, I'll go
in there and put it to the little doll in person.
Maybe she'd like to go.
Speaker 10: If you take that little girl out of here, it'll
be over my dead body.
Speaker 4: That pool can be a wreck. Meantime, seers do if.
Speaker 13: He's no kick me to my daddy? Where are you
kicking me?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sorry, Shorts, You're going to a special place
just for juniors. An orphanage.
Speaker 13: What in north?
Speaker 1: In each Oh, it's like a big pool room, but
for kids it's a pooh no, No, you're not going
to any place. Now, look, shorts, We're gonna play a
game called hide and go seek. Now you climb out
the wind and hide on the fire escape. Just stay there.
See on the fire escape?
Speaker 13: What kind of a game is it?
Speaker 1: I learned it during my vaudical days. It's called Actor
and the Landlady. Now don't make a sound till yell ready?
Speaker 13: Are you gonna surprise me?
Speaker 1: Did this time? It's me? I'm surprising, and no matter
what happens, just keep quiet. I will. Okay, honey, you.
Speaker 3: What's the idea locking the bedroom door.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let you take her Sam. Make one
move and I'll throw a punch.
Speaker 5: Well, you punk up, break your neck.
Speaker 1: You break my neck and eyes you'll what? I'll nod
all over you.
Speaker 4: One punch and I can.
Speaker 1: Plantten you all right, you'll flatten me, but I'll get
up off the floor swinging.
Speaker 3: So you're swinging. So I pushed your nose?
Speaker 1: So what Nobody will ever notice the difference?
Speaker 9: You'll take?
Speaker 10: You're out numbered.
Speaker 5: Stay at at this Madamore, pup you too, Now give
me to keep before I ran your head to that door.
Speaker 10: There, Well, I warned him, I'll get shorts out of
that room.
Speaker 4: Huh oh yeah, yeah, maybe it's a good thing I
checked up in person. All right, Dan, get off the floor,
get rid of the kid. No, no, she's still in
this steep.
Speaker 1: Now wait a minute, Steve, She's not in there. Oh no,
there you see empty room, but I see.
Speaker 6: You go into it.
Speaker 13: I care.
Speaker 3: All right a point, where is it?
Speaker 1: Well, that's different. You ask a civil question, you get
a civil answer. I don't know where she is here done.
Speaker 3: On the time, walking at.
Speaker 1: Shorts.
Speaker 4: Shorts, it looks like our little problem is all taking
care of her.
Speaker 16: She fell off the fire escape.
Speaker 1: Steve, call an ambulance.
Speaker 4: I'm going down there, calling yourself. But be careful what
you say, Palla. The next ambulance will be for you.
Speaker 3: See it through the squads.
Speaker 14: But for Defense Department employees working abroad, the laws and
customs of a foreign land can be frustrating. Even though
you're subject to foreign laws, you're also entitled to most
of the safeguards outlined in the Status of Forces agreements
and the local military command will work to ensure that
the rights of civilian personnel are properly maintained. It can
be overwhelming, but the military is there to help you
every step of the way.
Speaker 4: And now your host, Frank Brazy returns to the microphone.
Speaker 2: The curtain rises on the third act of Sorrowful Joanes,
starring Bob Hope and Lucille Ball.
Speaker 6: It's several hours later and Martha Jane lies in a
hospital bed, critically injured. In the visitors room, sorrowful bladders
and regret. Hear the latest word from the doctor.
Speaker 11: There's nothing new I can tell you, mister Jones, no change.
I'm afraid she's still delirious.
Speaker 1: For how bad is a doc?
Speaker 11: As stated, shock can be very serious. H tell me
it's her father here. No, oh, then you must be
the one she calls dreamy Joe.
Speaker 1: Me, Dreamy Joe's a horse.
Speaker 10: He's her horse.
Speaker 12: Uh horse.
Speaker 11: Well, that's too bad she keeps calling for Dreamy Joe.
It would have helped if she could have seen it.
Speaker 1: I wonder if that praying commission is open in the daytime?
What or nothing she keeps asking for Dreamy Joe.
Speaker 8: I never realized that magod means so much to.
Speaker 10: It, kidd, She just looking at him might make the difference.
Speaker 7: The big race wasn't just a few hours off. We
might arrange something well, which is more important?
Speaker 10: A bunch of horses chasing each other or Martha Jane?
Speaker 1: What are you looking at me for? What do you
want me to do is steal him off the track
if necessary? Yes, oh fine, I'm sure no one will
notice the lump under my coat. You you know what
they do to horse thieves.
Speaker 8: I I don't hang anymore, sorrowful and just rough.
Speaker 4: You up a bit.
Speaker 1: This is the craziest thing I ever heard of. I've
crossed Big Steve once already. If I'd do it again,
they'd have to roll me into surgery on four different tables. Sorrowful.
Speaker 10: What if we borrow Dreamy Joe after the race?
Speaker 8: There won't be any Dreamy Joe after the race? Speedball liners,
speedball license.
Speaker 10: You mean you'd drag the kid into a crooked race.
You gave her a horse and let her go crazy
about it when you knew it was going to die.
Speaker 1: Well, the kid just happened to get mixed up in it.
I never wanted to hurt her.
Speaker 9: You get out of.
Speaker 10: Here and just remember this if we should ever run
into each other again along Broadway, just keep walking.
Speaker 1: Come on, regret, let's get walking.
Speaker 17: Blabber mouths Now you're sorrowful.
Speaker 7: I just cased the stable. They're getting dreamy Joe ready
for the race once over Sam. He's taking a night
for a walk.
Speaker 1: Sam. Huh, I we just have to take the horse
away from Sam.
Speaker 8: I might have known her. It'd be we again.
Speaker 1: If you were half a man, you'd think of shorts.
Speaker 8: If this plan of yours doesn't work, I'll be half
a man.
Speaker 1: I'll get going. I'll be writing back here no slip ups,
so we'll both be wearing cement wedgies.
Speaker 7: A good afternoon, Sam.
Speaker 8: What do you want? I don't want nothing.
Speaker 5: Then why are you telling me good afternoon.
Speaker 8: For taking a dreamy Joe for a little stroll? Huh yeah, one,
I sall walk home.
Speaker 5: A little shut up?
Speaker 8: Oh look, Sam, I I got to like you.
Speaker 1: What is deady like?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 8: I don't mean no offense. While everybody likes once over Sam,
they do.
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 8: Why when you walk down Broadway?
Speaker 7: You know when everybody says why h they say, uh
there go Sam?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 8: Yeah? And do you know what else they saved. They say,
you're smart.
Speaker 5: You gotta be smart. If you don't like a guy,
you gotta have brains enough to bout him on the chin.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well so long friends, always nice to kick it
around with you.
Speaker 5: Thank you kindly and take my advice. Regret give the
rush to that crumb.
Speaker 1: Sorrowful you got clad? Well, I'm back for it.
Speaker 3: I take Dreamy Joe for a walk. Like you say,
where is he?
Speaker 4: Where's Ramy Joe?
Speaker 7: Bo?
Speaker 5: He's right on the end of this rope.
Speaker 4: Who's did you do?
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, Dreamy Joe.
Speaker 4: What happened boss?
Speaker 5: I bring back the wrong beast?
Speaker 4: Why don't you do with him? Where is he? I
don't know.
Speaker 5: I am walking along, clutching the rope, talking to my friend.
Speaker 1: Regret regret.
Speaker 4: Why you done that? Means Sorrowful Jones has remy Joe.
He's what's hosses on? You're talking to your friend? Come on,
I think I know just what.
Speaker 1: Well. I got you away from the track, Dreamy Joe.
Now all we gotta do is hitch a ride back
to Tom. Why didn't you think of that before we
left the stable? I can't understand these drivers. Nobody wants
to give us a ride. Hey, Dreamy, lift your blanket
and show a little more leg Well, never mind, I
guess we'll have to do it the hard way. I'll
just leap on your back like this, steady boy, we'll
try it again. Whoa boy? Whoa? Now, and you kneel
down a little. Look. How about this. I'll spread my
legs and you crawl under me.
Speaker 15: Huh hey, hey, take it easy, I'm going side fell.
Speaker 1: Just follow the traffic, Dreamy Joe. We're heading strayed into pile. Well,
this is the hospital, dreamy Joe. Now all we gotta
do is sneak in that door and go down the
court of the elevator. Just that nonchalant. Anybody stops, just
just tell him you're visiting someone.
Speaker 4: Just a minute.
Speaker 10: What is the meaning of this?
Speaker 1: Oh it's okay, nurse, he's my brother, your brother. Yeah,
I'm taking him to the cycle ward. He thinks he's
a horse. Quiet va, I'm getting.
Speaker 10: Get away from that elevator.
Speaker 13: Stop the doctor with a horse.
Speaker 1: This is a dreamy Joe. Fifth floor. I'll see if
the coast is clear, and if you see anyone look sick,
Oh my gosh, Big Steve and Sam down there in
front of us and Jean's room. Steady, dreamy, Joe, stay
here in the elevator and I'll just sneak out and
I'll hey, dreamy, Joe, Hey, come back here.
Speaker 4: Hey, wrong on man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the elevator it's gone.
Speaker 4: Well, it's automatic. Someone looks the buzz ball.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's a horse in that elevator. A horse.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I told him i'd be right back.
Speaker 3: You told the horse you would be right by.
Speaker 15: Now he's at the poor A horse disappeared.
Speaker 1: I lost my horse to see, all right, all right, now,
not get excited. I'm not excited.
Speaker 4: It easy.
Speaker 3: Maybe he just went down for a sandwich or something.
Speaker 4: You've come right back.
Speaker 17: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: We see them around here all the time. Again causes
green horse is blue horse?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, are you a patient here?
Speaker 4: I happened to be a doctor.
Speaker 12: Now, why don't you step into my office and we'll
see if.
Speaker 1: We stop looking at me as if I'm Olivia to Havel.
Speaker 15: And there you see that's my horse. Where'd you go dreaming?
You have to go riding up and down.
Speaker 1: One more move like that and you wind up in
a tube in a stationary store. We got work to do, now,
come on, nurse in turn. Not so fast, Dreamy Joe,
quit shoven quit. I'll wait a minute. I don't know
how we're gonna get cast those two gorillas. Why do
you have to get mixed up with day Steve anyway?
Don't you know he.
Speaker 4: Ain't terrible joke and the heart he's got the.
Speaker 1: Horse, Dreamy Joe. Yeah, we're just bringing them in for
a check up after all. It want to sucker leading
with your.
Speaker 4: Right, get up off the floor.
Speaker 1: Give me that horse. I gotta have that horse, and
that's what's wiping the kid.
Speaker 4: It's enough, Sam, we gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you don't wait. I give Sam my rabbit punch?
Oh can in the Sadad always works on rabbits.
Speaker 3: At a bus.
Speaker 1: But that elevated bus. You're not taking that horse. So
you want molum, I want Dreamy Joe's for shooting your.
Speaker 3: Mouth off to the law.
Speaker 4: Met Sam, ridden crapping boys.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a good thing you came. Rre No, I
have killed him.
Speaker 4: Let's goes day you too, Sam.
Speaker 12: I wanna have a little chat with you boys down
at the headquarter.
Speaker 1: And I got a date with Dreamy Joe.
Speaker 4: Come on, Joe, come on, boy, I'll have you back
pounding her feet for this.
Speaker 12: Maybe so there's a certain scrub lady who works in
your cafe. She recognized the photograph of horror Bill Smith
said he was in your place just before he was murdered.
All right, boys, take him away.
Speaker 1: Here he is doctor Dreamy Joe. Well, you told me
if Martha Jane saw Dreamy Joe.
Speaker 4: Maybe.
Speaker 11: I don't know, mister Jones. We've done everything we can better.
If she was, you don't think i'd let you bring
a horse in here? Do you alright?
Speaker 8: Lead him in?
Speaker 1: Oh, Sorrowful, you've brought him. Yeah, Shorts, Shorts, can you
open your eyes? Look who's here?
Speaker 9: Marthea Jeane?
Speaker 10: Shorts, Look, honey, Look it's Dreamy Joe. He came to
see you.
Speaker 4: Y gee, chill.
Speaker 1: I couldn't keep my way, Shorts. He kept asking for you.
Speaker 12: She chill, gree chill.
Speaker 11: Well, I've been practicing a good many years, but I've
never seen anything like this before.
Speaker 10: You m you mean she'll get.
Speaker 11: Better now, I wouldn't be at all surprise. And yes,
I think you can leave the rest of me now.
Speaker 12: Hey, Sorrowful, come out in the hall a minute. Okay, Well,
I don't have to ask. I can read her chart
on your face.
Speaker 10: Oh she's got to be alright, mister Reardon. Sorrowful brought
her the best medicine in the world.
Speaker 12: Well that's soon. As she's upping around, I'll take over her.
Speaker 1: Wait, you mean that orphanage routine.
Speaker 12: I guarantee the best, and I scout around for some
nice people to adopt her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, would you mind holding dreamy Joe Freman? Hey,
glad ys this way?
Speaker 5: What's the matters?
Speaker 6: Awful?
Speaker 1: You can't let Shorts fall in the hands of some
strange couple. They might be undesirable characters, it would still.
Speaker 9: Be an improvement for her.
Speaker 1: Look, you wanna get married, don't you. You've hinted at
often enough, Yes.
Speaker 9: One of these days. But to a solid citizen. And
I don't see any around.
Speaker 1: Who cares about solid citizens. I'm thinking about Shorts. If
we don't act fast, she's gonna be farmed out from
under us.
Speaker 9: Well what do you want me to do about it?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm willing to make a sacrifice. Why can't you
want some couple has to adopt her? How about us?
Speaker 10: I think that's a very good idea. The first one
of us who gets married should definitely adopt her, I mean.
Speaker 1: To each other.
Speaker 16: Come here, missus sorrowful Jones. Yes, missus sorrowful Jones.
Speaker 10: Don't you have a real first name?
Speaker 1: Mm?
Speaker 9: Don't you have a real first name?
Speaker 1: What is it? Humphrey?
Speaker 9: Humphrey?
Speaker 10: There's nothing romantic about that?
Speaker 1: Well, going to body. I got a middle name too,
what is it? Rossalini? And so a.
Speaker 6: Few weeks later, Sorrowful Jones and Gladys and Martha James.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure, glad we're going home. My feet are
killing me the free checkers.
Speaker 13: Aren't we going to the free checker?
Speaker 4: Short?
Speaker 1: You can't do it all in one day. We've been
to the zoo, we climbed to the top of the
Statue of Liberty. We were on the lake in Central Park.
Just look at these blisters from rowing. Show 'em. Gladys,
hold out.
Speaker 13: Your but you promise daddy?
Speaker 9: Well, daddy, Okay.
Speaker 1: What a way to spend a honeymoon.
Speaker 2: Well that concludes this copyrighted edition of the Golden Days
of Radio and our continuing salute to Bob Hope. A
lot of people use air conditioning, whether they need it
or not. They seem to ignore the fact that a
nice breeze is blowing, or that they humidity is at
a comfortable level. A lot of people turn their heat
up higher than necessary. They seem to think the higher
the temperature, the more comfortable they'll be. Not true. Using
the air conditioner when it really isn't needed is a
waste of energy. So is using more heat than you need.
And when you stop to consider that the government pays
for that energy with your tax dollars, it's a waste
of your money. So use air conditioning and heating wisely,
enjoy it when you really need it, and turn it
off or turn it down when you don't. This is
Frank Brazy inviting you to join me next week for
more shows and personalities from radios Golden Days
Speaker 6: S