Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar - The Laird Douglas Douglas of Heatherscote Matter - Ep 3
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Speaker 1: From Hollywood, it's time now for.
Speaker 2: Johnny Dollar.
Speaker 3: Lieutenant Steve Howard, Homicide. I found word they caught you
there at your hotel.
Speaker 2: Right. I'm an insurance investigator, Lieutenant, and... Yeah, I've heard
of you. Can I help you? Well, I understand you're
the man who handled a murder case at the Bala
Kinwood dog show last year. That's right.
Speaker 3: We're still working on it.
Speaker 2: Oh, fine. Like to look over the setup for an
attempted murder? Uh-huh.
Speaker 4: Who?
Speaker 3: Me.
Speaker 4: Me.
Speaker 2: Stay right there, Mr.
Speaker 4: Dollar.
Speaker 1: Tonight, and every weekday night, Bob Bailey and the transcribed
adventures of the man with the action-packed expense account, America's
fabulous freelance insurance investigator.
Speaker 4: Yours truly.
Speaker 2: Johnny Dollar. ¶ ¶ Expense account submitted by Special Investigator
Johnny Dollar to the Philadelphia Mutual Liability and Casualty Company.
Following is an accounting of expenditures incurred during my investigation
of the Laird Douglas Douglas of Hetherscote matter. And at
this point, that name is no joke. Expense account item three,
70 cents, cab fare from the office of Harry Branson
to my hotel. It was at Harry's office that I
got the craziest assignment I'd ever taken. Bodyguard to Laird
Douglas Douglas of Hetherscote who turned out to be a dog.
And I mean that literally. A purebred Scottish terrier who
rated high enough in dogdom for somebody to make a
couple of attempts on his life. Right now, it looked
like somebody wanted me to be next.
Speaker 3: What's all this talk about an attempt on your life?
Speaker 2: Here, Lieutenant. Take a look at this handbag of mine. Wait,
don't touch it. I left it here on this little
luggage stand about an hour ago, right after I checked in.
Only before I left it, I opened it and took
out my gun.
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 2: So when I got back just before I called you,
I found the bag as you see it now, locked again.
Speaker 3: I want to look here, Mr. Lawrence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know. But if a chambermaid had
been in here, there would have been other signs. You know,
bed turned down, fresh towels in the bath, things like that.
Speaker 3: Boy, you're a suspicious man. Are you sure you didn't
lock it yourself after taking your gun out?
Speaker 2: I'm sure. Anyhow, instead of opening it, I started to
pick it up to put it on the bed to unpack.
Here now, you lift it.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Because it weighs close to 25 pounds, and that's too
much for nothing but an extra suit, a few shirts
and shorts, some handkerchiefs and the like.
Speaker 3: You check with the desk?
Speaker 2: No callers that they know about.
Speaker 3: Well, let me see. Yeah, that is pretty heavy.
Speaker 2: And it doesn't tick. Now, look here.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you see where somebody on the fire escape used
a pry bar to shove this window open? Well, yeah.
Speaker 3: And those marks are fresh. Very fresh. Operator, get me
Central Police.
Speaker 2: Expense account item four. Check for $ 29. 50 to the nearest
Bond clothing store for one pair of trousers to replace
those torn by Laird Douglas Douglas of... What's his name?
When I first met him in Harry's office. Item five,
phone call to Mrs. Peter Malcolm Kelly Van Pyton.
Speaker 4: Mr.
Speaker 5: Dollar. If you're delayed, you're delayed, and we'll just expect
you here at the Maples when you get here. Your
suite is all ready and waiting for you.
Speaker 2: I'll be there as soon as I can.
Speaker 5: Oh, I do hope you've had a suit made to
replace those trousers, little Laird Douglas Torr. Why don't you
have a couple of suits made and just charge them
to me?
Speaker 2: Thanks. Maybe I'll get around to that. Goodbye, Mrs. Van Pyton.
First of all, I had to know what Lieutenant Howard
found out about the suitcase he'd had his lab crew
pick up. I took a taxi to headquarters. That's item eight,
65 cents.
Speaker 3: Quite glad to see you, Dollar. Sit down.
Speaker 2: Well, what'd you find out?
Speaker 3: Dollar, that bag of yours had enough soup in it
to blow out half the side of your hotel.
Speaker 2: Then I was right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, professional job, too. Straight wire rig that would have
gone off when you opened the bag.
Speaker 2: Brother, I guess my lucky star is in the Ascendant.
Speaker 3: What made you suspect a booby trap, Dollar?
Speaker 2: Last year and a few days ago, somebody tried to
poison a dog.
Speaker 3: Well, do I know.
Speaker 2: Laird Douglas Douglas of Heather's Coat, Blue Ribbon Scotty, belonging
to Mrs. Peter Malcolm Kelly. Malcolm Kelly Van Pyton, yeah.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: Apparently, the whole reason for it was to keep the
pooch from winning the best of show at the annual
dog festival, or whatever you want to call it, out
at Bella Kinwood.
Speaker 2: So I've heard.
Speaker 3: I think it was more than that.
Speaker 2: Oh, wait a minute. Now, don't tell me you subscribe
to the idea that if the dog were to die, Mrs.
Kelly Van Pyton would probably kick off, too.
Speaker 3: No question about it.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: Well, you don't know her yet. You wouldn't be so skeptical.
Her whole life revolves about that dog. And her money,
of course.
Speaker 2: From what I've seen, she just throws that away.
Speaker 3: Of course she does. At least in small quantities. You know,
a thousand or two here or there. Even a hundred
thousand to some school or library or something where it'll show.
But even that's only a drop in the bucket to her.
Speaker 2: Lieutenant, I don't quite see what you're driving at.
Speaker 3: Well, she is one of the remnants of a class
in this country. Fast dying out, thank goodness. That for
generations has been cultured and conditioned into thinking that money
is everything. That their whole destiny is to control vast industries, lands, railroads, oil, shipping,
and people. People, dollar, by means of their sheer financial prowess.
Speaker 2: But I thought our present tax situation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, their day is almost done, but the few
who are still around, like Mrs. Kelly Van Pyton, are
hanging on for dear life, trying to add to their power.
Speaker 2: Hey, Steve, you make a sweet, gabby, eccentric old lady
sound like an ogre.
Speaker 3: She is, no question. I'm sure she doesn't realize it.
Speaker 2: Simply because this whole attitude has been so thoroughly ingrained
into her.
Speaker 4: All her life?
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: Oh, well, we'll see.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll see.
Speaker 2: Well, look, let's get to the point. Who do you
think might be trying to get rid of the old lady?
Speaker 3: I haven't the least idea.
Speaker 2: Well, no family? Relatives?
Speaker 3: Only living relative is her nephew, Warren Staley. Ah. Nothing.
Speaker 2: You sure?
Speaker 3: Haven't been able to pin a thing on him.
Speaker 2: Where can I find this Warren Staley?
Speaker 3: At the Maples.
Speaker 2: He lives there with her, huh?
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: And you're sure he would be her only beneficiary?
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
Speaker 4: Uh-uh.
Speaker 3: Good luck, Dollar.
Speaker 2: Lieutenant Howard seemed to know what he was talking about. Nonetheless,
I decided that the nephew, Warren Staley, would at least
be a start. And the sooner I could move in
at the Maples, the better. Item 9, 780, cab fares
back to my hotel and out to the Maples in
the suburb of Germantown. When I first saw the place,
I could hardly believe my eyes. It looked like a
regular castle perched atop a small hill. Even the gatehouse
nearly half a mile from the mansion was big enough
to house several families. But the mansion itself, wow. A
rather stuffy-looking butler, after practically climbing up my family tree,
escorted me to the reading room.
Speaker 3: Mrs.
Speaker 2: Kelly Van Pyton and guess who?
Speaker 4: Whoops! Easy now, Doug.
Speaker 2: Oh, Mr. Dollar, I'm so glad you're here. And look,
he remembers you. Isn't that sweet?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2: Attaboy, Doug.
Speaker 5: Oh, and please call him Douglas.
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 5: After all, the name Doug sounds so common, doesn't it?
Speaker 2: Oh, you really think he cares, Mrs. Van Pyton? Oh,
you're joking, aren't you?
Speaker 4: Mr.
Speaker 5: Branson said you had quite a sense of humor. Now,
did Hastings show you.
Speaker 2: To your suite? The butler? No, but he took my things.
Speaker 5: Then I'll show you. I'm sure you'll love it and
be quite comfortable.
Speaker 4: This way, please.
Speaker 2: Yes. You coming, Douglas? Yeah, yeah. Attaboy. Do you see
how happy he is having you here? I am, too, Mr.
Speaker 5: Dollar.
Speaker 2: Now, we just... Oh, Warren, darling.
Speaker 4: Huh? Hello, Tanta. Mr.
Speaker 2: Dollar.
Speaker 5: This is my little neve, Warren Staley.
Speaker 2: Warren was 25 or so, bright, good-looking, and well but
comfortably dressed. And at Mrs. Van Pyton's orders, he took
me up to my suite. Living room, study, breakfast room, bath,
and bedroom. And it's still occupied, only a small part
of the second floor.
Speaker 6: Now, here next to you are Dougie's rooms. One for
sleeping and one for eating. Can you tie that? A
dining room for a dog. And through that door lives
Mademoiselle Poirot, his governess.
Speaker 4: She feeds and bathes them.
Speaker 2: And that's a full-time job?
Speaker 4: Oh, sure. Most pampered dog in the country.
Speaker 2: Brother, I'll go with you on that.
Speaker 6: No doubt Tonto will ask you to keep this connecting
door open at night.
Speaker 2: Hey, sit down a minute, Warren. I'd like to talk
to you. Sure.
Speaker 4: I hope you're impressed by all this.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding?
Speaker 4: And Tonto will love you dearly. Say, would you like
a drink? There's a cellaret here for your convenience.
Speaker 2: Oh, sure. Scotch and soda.
Speaker 4: Good. Rather foolish, though, isn't it?
Speaker 1: All of it.
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 4: Oh, it's such nonsense to keep up an estate like
this just to keep face, so to speak.
Speaker 2: Well, she can afford it, can't she?
Speaker 4: Are you kidding?
Speaker 2: You sound as though you don't enjoy this life of luxury.
Speaker 4: Here's your drink. Enforced luxury to keep up the honor
of the family. And I resent it. Oh? Without ever
having to lift a finger, do an honest day's work.
When she's gone, I'll be one of the wealthiest men
in the country.
Speaker 2: That's bad, huh?
Speaker 4: You think it's strange that.
Speaker 6: A fellow would like to stand on his own feet
for a change, make something of himself, buy himself.
Speaker 2: Well, why not just pack up and leave?
Speaker 4: You don't know Tata?
Speaker 2: No, I guess I don't.
Speaker 6: Oh, it's really more than that. I'm the only member
of this family left, aside from Tata.
Speaker 2: So I understand.
Speaker 4: I'm the only one left to carry on the Van
Pyton empire. Drink up.
Speaker 2: Wait a minute. Branson used that term, too.
Speaker 4: Yes, empire.
Speaker 6: Not only enough security to sink a battleship, but controlling
rights in steel, utilities.
Speaker 4: And most important of all, East Morland Oil.
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 4: And what's most important about.
Speaker 6: That is that I'll survive to keep control of East
Morland from Kenworthy.
Speaker 2: Harrison R. Kenworthy.
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: There's been a battle over East Morland Oil for generations
between the Van Pythons and the Kenworthys.
Speaker 2: Say, tell me, does Kenworthy have any heirs?
Speaker 3: One.
Speaker 4: His son, Ronald.
Speaker 2: I see. What sort of a fellow is he?
Speaker 4: Good friend of mine. We waste a lot of our
time together. Oh, drink up, Mr. Dollar. I'm ready for another,
and you haven't even touched yours.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, listen. I'm going to lay some cards on
the table.
Speaker 4: Shoot.
Speaker 2: Somebody's been trying to get at Laird Douglas, the dog,
presumably as a way of getting at your aunt.
Speaker 4: It's true. If anything were to happen to little Dougie.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I'll take your word for it. Now, because
of the intense rivalry between your aunt and Kenworthy, or
rather between Laird Douglas and his pup, Lady Odiddy's Mimi,
or whatever her name is, anyway, Kenworthy should be number
one suspect.
Speaker 4: When you know him, you'll cross him off your list.
Speaker 2: So Lieutenant Howard has told me.
Speaker 4: But, uh... Go on.
Speaker 2: All right, all right. As sole beneficiary of the Van
Pyton Empire, as you call it, you come in as
fast number two on the list.
Speaker 4: I can understand that.
Speaker 2: But unless everything you've told me is a fancy fairy
tale to throw me off, then....
Speaker 4: Everything I've told you is true, Mr. Dollar.
Speaker 2: What's the matter with you?
Speaker 4: Nothing. Go on.
Speaker 2: Okay. And mind you, Warren, I'm not forgetting for a
minute that there's been a couple of murders involved in
this whole screwy business. Plus an attempt on my own life.
Attempt on.
Speaker 4: on your... Dollar?
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, what gives you... Are you plastered on a
little over one drink?
Speaker 4: No, no, listen to me. I know. Now I know,
and I can tell you, Dollar.
Speaker 2: Tell me what?
Speaker 4: The answer. The whole thing.
Speaker 2: Dollar! Warren, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 4: I can't... I can't breathe. Hey, you're... Warren! Drink... Meant
for you. Don't touch....
Speaker 2: He died without another sound. I carefully sniffed the drink
that had been poured for me, gingerly tasted it. Nothing.
Nothing that I could spot. Yeah, poor Warren had probably
been right. Whatever it was had no doubt been meant
for me.
Speaker 1: Now here's our star to tell you about tomorrow's intriguing
episode of this week's story.
Speaker 2: Tomorrow, things and people finally begin to line up on
the case. Just well enough for it to blow sky high.
Join us, won't you? Yours truly, Johnny Dollar.
Speaker 3: ¶ ¶.
Speaker 1: Yours truly, Johnny Dollar, starring Bob Bailey, is transcribed in Hollywood.
It is produced and directed by Jack Johnstone, who also
wrote tonight's story. Be sure to join us tomorrow night,
same time and station, for the next exciting episode of
Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar. Roy Rowan speaking.
Speaker 2: ¶ ¶
Speaker 5: The Lone Ranger.