OSRIC, Shadows of the Pale Ep13
All of the unlucky dice rolls and circumstance come to our beleaguered Player Characters on this, our thirteenth episode of the mini campaign. The capabilities of the wand are further explored, and the characters experience sensory deprivation combat as they push further into the usurped silver mine...
Shadows of the Pale is our house written Season 4 OSRIC mini(?) campaign where we play the amazing third edition of the OSRIC rule set. (retroclone of the first advanced edition of the worlds most well known role playing game, available through Mythmere games, or free pdf from DrivethruRPG) This story is set in the fabled World of Greyhawk fantasy setting, on the border between the Duchy of Tenh and the Theocracy of the Pale; and features wilderness exploration, a tense political backdrop, and the creeping long arm of the ominous Empire of Iuz...
Featuring:
Bryan (AKA Doc) as Reyes Monin, fighter, displaced noble, straight ahead action enthusiast, likes being big, seeker of treasure and XP.
Rodney as Pindar, Fighter/mage, pureblooded half-elf, second rank spear wielder, deviser of many plans, knower of moon phases.
Shawn M as Merrick Thornleaf, Fighter/thief, Halfling, scout, Agent provocateur against The Pale, devils advocate, roller of ones.
John A as Theron, Elven Mage, mule owner, onetime seeker of Gelatinous Groundhogs, puts a big C on his CG alignment.
Eric as Edric, Human Cleric. either does not know or will not disclose his favored diety, reluctant yet ineffective healer, often the first into the fray.
Shawn G as GM, deviser of plots that might be deadly if he rolled better in combat, awkward NPC portrayer. Edits and produces whatever this is.
Please visit our sponsor, and publisher of OSRIC, other wonderful RPGs and The Tome of Adventure Design, Mythmere Games!
sign up to be notified of their new Backerkit campaign for the World of Jordoba!
https://www.backerkit.com/c/projects/mythmere-games/the-world-of-jordoba/pre-launch
#ad&d #Osric #OSR #ttrpg #actualplay #rpg #Dnd #oldschoolrpg #tabletoprpg #retrogaming #greyhawk
1 SPEAKER_02: This time on Retro Rolecast.
SPEAKER_01: All right, so the spell of the cleric reaches a
crescendo.
And not only can't you see, now everything is silent.
Dead, unnaturally, eerily silent.
Well, I'm just gonna stop.
Is it an awkward silence?
It is an awkward silence.
I mean I think the silence is silence.
I think we make it awkward.
SPEAKER_02: Depends on the climate, ultimately.
Well, really, the weather.
The climate and the weather being two very different things.
SPEAKER_01: And again, we've gone over this a few times on
the podcast is that we generally record when available in Sean's
attic.
But the attic is not available in the the heat of our
mid-Atlantic summers.
Well, to be fair, it is available.
Well, right, we could be there.
SPEAKER_02: It's just not we would have heard we would have
to wear Speedo's desert campaign.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm down.
SPEAKER_02: I nah, but no.
You don't want that.
Nobody wants that.
Nobody wants that.
Nobody wants that.
I think we should tell you.
My wife would probably be okay with that gaming facility, only
to be turned away.
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's what I was getting to next time.
But never because the last time we mentioned it, I believe that
was this week.
Sean got into our group chat and said, Hey, we can finally do the
attic renovation project project sometime in September.
SPEAKER_02: Those words were not spoken.
Michelle must have finally said okay.
She must have, yeah.
Dude, if it's not on the main floor of the house, she doesn't
even know it exists.
Right?
There's stairs here?
She has not seen my basement or attic in 10 years.
Maybe five years.
SPEAKER_01: Let's let's roll back the tape here.
Sean's scrolling.
Pre-market or Google chat.
SPEAKER_02: The only reason she's seen our backyard beyond
like what you see out the back window is because her chickens
are now out there.
SPEAKER_01: Probably can start using slash working on it in
mid-September.
SPEAKER_02: That's what that's yes.
That's what I said.
That's that working on it.
Yeah, all in the same sequence, even.
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, we digress.
Maybe for the next session, we're going to be back in the
attic of Doom.
But right now we're at our friends Lazarus Games.
Go check them out.
Online, they have an eBay store that has their used role-playing
game products.
They have a website.
Well, they have a website for the new stuff.
The old stuff's on the on the eBay.
I never noticed.
The used stuff isn't on the website?
It's not on the website.
The used stuff's on the eBay store.
Oh.
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
That's crazy.
Why would you separate it?
SPEAKER_01: And why are we talking this much about people
that aren't even sponsored?
I know, right?
We should talk about the phone.
We should be talking about people that are sponsoring us.
And that brings us to Myth Mere Games.
We're playing Osric, and we have been for this mini campaign.
Osric is published by Myth Mere Games.
It is a fantastic rewriting of first edition A D D.
What are you guys thinking about the game so far, guys?
SPEAKER_02: It is D D.
It is everything you like about the original version and none of
the things that I would not have liked.
It's funny.
I had not really like looked into who he was at all.
And then I started reading him like, holy shit.
This guy's been doing everything.
SPEAKER_01: Right, the guy's made the OSR possible.
Yeah.
Because they he was like one of the first dudes that was like,
we can use the third edition OGL to make old games.
Yeah.
There was Castles and Crusades before that, but they were
mostly third edition with just spiritually backported to older
stuff.
But Matt with Swords and Wizardry and him helping out on
Osric made the OSR popular.
Possible.
Sean talking take three.
Or is it hard?
You need more coffee.
SPEAKER_02: Well, this is like the what, the third OSR style
game we've played?
We've played Old School Essentials.
What other was there another game?
Shadow Dark is Shadow Dark.
I don't know if Shadow Dark really is OSR, because it is 5E
stripped down.
SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't think it's like a retrograde.
OSR doesn't isn't a rule system per se.
No, it's my style.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
This is right in that wheelhouse.
SPEAKER_01: If we were playing 5e, we would be playing an OSR
because we just are who we are.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
SPEAKER_01: Are you calling us old?
I think we are technically.
I mean, it's right there in the O of OSR.
Right.
Damn it.
But anyway, the other thing with these guys.
Like I had a print on they're pretty awesome.
I had a print on demand copy of the previous version of Osric,
and it was print on demand.
It wasn't, it wasn't fantastic.
Was Matt involved with the previous versions?
Yeah, he's been involved in all the versions.
Okay, because like I looked at the older, like one and two, and
they didn't have his name on it.
Well, Stuart Marshall, I believe, is the main author.
Matt did a lot of the work behind the scenes.
But again, these these new books that you can get from Myth
Mirror, these are really nice quality.
They feel good in the hand.
He's like holding up the book as if you could see it.
SPEAKER_02: He's doing this Vanna White thing running his
hand along the bottom.
And it's not the normal format either.
It's landscape format.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01: Well, they sell them both, which is so cool.
The portrait and the landscape books.
SPEAKER_02: And if you buy the portrait, you're a nerd.
By the landscape, it's way cooler.
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
I bought both.
SPEAKER_02: And no one's surprised.
You have a problem.
The shelves in his basement definitely reinforce that.
Soundria downright.
SPEAKER_01: For reading, I like the portrait books.
But to have at the table, that's why these things are sitting
right next to me.
Because you can, you know, you can keep them open.
They don't close up on you.
It's good stuff.
So at mythmeirgames.com is their is their website and their web
store.
You can get swords and wizardry there.
You can get Osric there.
All great quality stuff.
You can get his world building and adventure design books.
Most notably the tome of adventure design.
And we also just did just want to give a shout out that
basically next week after you hear this, they will be having
on Backer Kit a crowdfunding campaign for their campaign
setting of Jordoba.
Jordoba! Which is which is their sword and sorcery Conan-esque
setting that's got all that Conan-y goodness.
So there is a link in the show notes.
Click on it, get yourself signed up for notifications, because
that will become alive real soon.
Yep, I've been reading the player's guide for that.
SPEAKER_02: That's available on Drive-Thru RPG.
Is it still?
Yeah.
Sorry, while you two are talking, we're making a
Instagram.
We're clowning or standing in there.
We're making an Instagram post.
I took a picture of the, I don't know, eight inches of books we
have here.
Not even including the Ostrich books, actually.
These are the sword and sorcery.
I mean or sword and wizardry and the world building adventure.
I think the funniest part is.
I could do 10.
And Doc Photo, we know.
Here, why don't I show off?
There's too many books.
There's too many too many books for Myth Mere Games on the table
right now, actually.
Oh my god.
You might as well photo.
Only a one page.
All right.
Anyway, go there and get the books.
Mythwear MythMeerGames.com.
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
And Matt and Stewart does a great job of writing it up.
Susie does a great job of laying it out and editing it all.
If she did the layouts, the portrait is amazing.
She's a wizard.
The layouts are on these books are fantastic.
SPEAKER_02: But getting back to our campaign.
Well, see, we're stalling because the cleric's not here.
We're not stalling here.
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't do any good to stall because we're
gonna die anyway.
He's not here.
His character sheet is here, right?
Which is ironic.
How did that happen?
Well But Eric is not here.
So anything you guys want to say about Eric while he's not here?
SPEAKER_02: Well, nothing I wouldn't say to his face.
I mean We're disappointed.
SPEAKER_01: Yes, but not surprised.
We're not mad, we're disappointed.
SPEAKER_02: We're not angry, we're disappointed.
But not surprised.
A little bit surprised because he never said one way or
another.
He not only let us down, but he let himself down.
And all of our listeners.
SPEAKER_01: With his lack of communication.
He let Mythmere down.
SPEAKER_02: He didn't damn.
Yeah.
He let all two of our Patreon subscribers down.
His first no-call news show will be documented.
It'll be a verbal warning.
This is right from the HR department.
This is just straight to a verbal warning.
SPEAKER_01: But moving on to the players that are That's gonna be
awkward.
You should be used to that.
You have to give me enough of them.
Call me don't get to my right and bypassing the empty chair
with the filled-out character sheet in front of it.
Is Rodney.
How's how is Pindar ready for action?
SPEAKER_02: I've been planning my assault on the orcs for four
weeks.
There's no doubt that we will take this room by storm without
any trouble at all.
I thought we put them all to sleep.
It took us four weeks to make a decision.
You're already in the past.
We put them to sleep last episode, this episode, something
completely different.
Right.
You already ganked the orcs that you can do.
We have another super cool effect.
We weren't done with the orcs.
Right.
We're not done with the orcs until we say we're done with the
orcs.
I listened to the last episode before coming in here, so that's
where my head is.
And you forgot about the sleep.
No, I don't remember the sleep.
All right.
And we went into a room with like scam ale and shit, and we
found the potions.
Yep.
Yeah.
And then that was it.
That's when we ended up.
That's it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, Sean's up to date.
I know, right?
Crazy.
And speaking of whom, Sean, is Merrick Thornleaf ready for
action?
Merrick is as ready as he'll ever be.
Okay.
I accept that.
But he's that's a solid statement that nobody can pin
anything on you about.
SPEAKER_02: Very vague.
Very good.
You know, more focused on the the orc blood off of his weapons
that he got while he was ganking all the sleeping orcs.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
No, I get that you would have to do that.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
You're welcome.
SPEAKER_01: Just now moving over to the left side of the table.
John is Thiran ready for action and wonder.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's primed and ready to test out his inner
warrior due to his lack of spells.
SPEAKER_02: Wand of wonder.
Good thing you have that wand then, huh?
SPEAKER_00: And seven charges left.
SPEAKER_01: One more chances of fun.
What spells are you down to?
Invisibility.
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
We haven't rested in like six months.
SPEAKER_00: So you can go invisible.
That's true.
I am invisible right now, so if I come back, I can go back
invisible again and disappear.
You and me both.
I wanted to rest before we rushed into the mines, but I'm
telling you, this we're on a time crunch here.
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
No, we're not.
Yes, we are.
No, we're not.
Yes, we are.
We are an unofficial.
Well, what's gonna happen?
We don't know.
That's why we have that's why we're at time.
We're on a time crunch.
We don't know why.
We don't know what's gonna happen, but we definitely have
to get there in time.
It's almost like you don't understand.
That is why we're on a time crunch.
You literally just explained it.
We don't know what's gonna happen.
So we have to make sure we interrupt.
That must be a horrible way to live.
It is.
It would be, yeah.
Which is why Reyes is questioning a lot of what's
going on right now.
SPEAKER_01: War never changes.
Some of his life's decisions.
So and getting to Reyes, is Reyes ready for action?
SPEAKER_02: He's ready for action, but like I said, he's
definitely questioning life decisions at this point.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
No, yeah.
Uh and how are we for hit points?
Everybody.
SPEAKER_02: Not bad.
All right, how many do you have?
Let's go around the table.
Hit points and spells.
That's all you're talking about knowledge.
All right.
Lay your hit points on the table.
Let's hear it.
32.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm down to 15.
But if they look at me, I take damage.
SPEAKER_02: That's true.
SPEAKER_00: I have no armor.
SPEAKER_02: I get it.
I have 19.
13 out of 16.
I do have four spells remaining.
You only have 16 hit points?
Dual class, man.
Dual class.
No con bonus.
And one of them's a D4.
The other one's a D.
Oh, that was amazing.
And I rolled.
I rolled terrible.
I have four spells available.
Reduce, Spider Climb, Web, which we will be using here in our
Assault Upon the Orcs, and Invisibility.
We have so much invisibility available.
It's good.
SPEAKER_00: Mages are planning to live through this.
Right.
SPEAKER_02: You don't get 200-year-old mages by dying when
your party dies.
They're always the survivors.
SPEAKER_00: There's always more parties.
Right.
SPEAKER_01: They're going to find the corpse of a fighter and
a half like that.
Everybody needs a wizard.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm walking back to town now.
SPEAKER_01: But you you all are looking at a door.
It's just the head of the mine.
Before we broke for last episode.
Didn't we barricade this thing?
Rodney, your character had cast ESP and scanned the surface
thoughts of drank my potion.
SPEAKER_02: I drank my potion of ESP.
A treasure that was given to us at the beginning of the
adventure four, five months ago, or whatever it is by now, maybe
eight.
Yes.
And I got the surface thoughts of the orcs on the other side.
There were three who were raring to tear us limb from limb, four
others who were a little more nervous fingering their bows.
There was a leadership kind of presence in the back, and other
orcs beyond that who were thinking about getting that
ballista ready and pointed in our direction.
However, we had a table in the other room that was tilted over.
Somebody knocked it over, right?
So let's get that table.
We're going to bring it into this room.
We're going to put our barricade on our side.
Like so when we open the door, we have a barricade after that,
right?
Really, what I want to do is I want to hide behind the table
and cast web into the room after somebody opens the door.
So we'll open the door, bang web into the room, and then we'll
just shoot them all to death with our bows or light it on
fire if that's the best option.
So that should take care of a lot of the orcs right off the
bat.
It'll at least stop their movement, stop them from
shooting us, cancel out their numerical advantage, and allow
us to pick them off individually.
Seem reasonable?
Sounds like a great plan.
Sure.
Get that table so we can hide behind it.
Flipping the table.
All right.
So it was in the other room.
All right, got it.
It's getting us stools to stand on behind the table.
SPEAKER_01: I think this is the second time in the podcast the
plan has involved a blanket fort.
SPEAKER_02: It's no blankets involved in this.
Yeah, we don't have any blankets.
I don't even have a blanket.
Okay, so yes, you Oh, yeah, I do.
I'm gonna hide under my bedroll.
There, are you happy?
Right?
They can't hurt you if you're under your blanket.
SPEAKER_01: If I can't see them, they can't see me.
SPEAKER_02: Minus five to your AC.
You and my pig.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so it takes some effort, essentially with
all of you, including your cleric, to haul this heavy oaken
table from the from the mess room into the into this room.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of shields in here, as we discussed
before as well.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Throw an oaken table over here.
We only we have our own shields.
Those of us who have them.
I don't see.
Are you trying to imply there's a way to make put the shields on
the table?
SPEAKER_01: I'm just reminding you what was in the room.
SPEAKER_02: Get your armor class bonus?
Shield bash your way through.
Put the shields over the edge of the table like a Viking long
shield.
Yeah, I thought that's what I thought he was trying to imply
that we should do.
It does sound like he was implying that.
Yeah.
But I only have so much time on the ESP, about probably half of
which is gone at least.
Probably maybe I have 10 minutes left.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
Well, you're you're sensing some some confusion.
Okay.
Because you can tell they can hear the scraping sound.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna add random noises to it, like, just to
confuse them further.
We're all standing around.
SPEAKER_01: What?
What the hell are you doing?
SPEAKER_02: We're trying to be quiet over here as we get
surprised.
They already know we're here.
Yeah, that's part of the ESP potion.
It won't allow us to be surprised by them opening the
door, right?
Because I'm reading their minds.
So if they're going to do it, I'll know.
SPEAKER_01: Well, I would say that there's very little
possibility of any surprise in this.
SPEAKER_02: On either side, I get it.
SPEAKER_01: But they know you're they know you're here.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
Well, anyway, so I'm gonna once we get the table there, how wide
is the table?
Like four feet wide?
SPEAKER_00: Well, we had some counter ups and put in front of
the we could go three feet.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so a good four feet.
So it's enough that I could crouch behind it and cast my
spell over.
So it's the size of the table in my attic.
Yeah.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
It's not made out of plywood.
Right.
Because such things do not exist.
But it will also stop arrows and bullets the bolts almost
certainly.
Or at least deflect them, slow them down.
I'm calling it stopping them.
Well, Jesus.
You gotta get in the GM's head that these are how things work.
SPEAKER_01: GM has a whole thing about how things work in his
head.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's why we're changing how you're
thinking about things.
SPEAKER_01: He's changing the energy.
You're just thinking penetration, you're not thinking
kinetic energy can break wood.
We're always thinking kinetic energy.
SPEAKER_02: I'm absolutely thinking that a ballista bolt is
not going to break this table.
And then the wood becomes splinters, which become
projectiles.
Well, kill us.
You said artillery in a forest.
So this I am going to throw them behind the door.
So you got cow troops behind the door.
So the cow tropes.
SPEAKER_01: Does this door open in or out?
It opens in.
Into their room.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, great.
That might be a little harder to manage then, because they might
have it blocked on.
Anyway, we're going to put the cow troops on the other side.
Okay, hold on.
He said it opens in.
Towards us.
Towards us.
Correct.
Oh, okay.
Well, into the other room.
Why would I say it opens in towards them?
I don't know.
Because it's still into the depends on the other thing.
That's what he heard.
Yeah.
I want it to open towards us.
Okay.
Because that way we know we can open it.
The other way we don't know.
Right.
All right.
So the table's going to be across the opening, which is in
the because the door's in the corner of the room, right?
Yeah.
So we're going to take it, run it across the corner of the
room, put the caltrips on the side where the door opens so
that if you run out the door, if somebody charges in, they'll
step on the caltrips and they'll be right at the barricade.
At least take one to two points of damage.
Right.
Yeah.
Right?
Those caltrips, devastating.
And as as soon as the door is open, I'm casting the web into
the room.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so where is everybody's position in this
right now?
I'm pulling the door, right?
I assumed.
Or the invisible person could do it.
So how much space is the table between the table and the door?
SPEAKER_02: I assume maybe six feet tops because I want it
right there.
Yeah, ideally we get it all the way across where you actually
have to jump across.
There's no space around it.
And the legs are on our side, so it's reinforced that way.
We could even spike the table and just like behind it if we
really wanted.
We can make a blanket for it.
Yeah, put a blanket over top.
I'll pull on a stool.
Behind the table so I can stand on the stool and shoot over the
table.
All right, like Gimli getting this little box to stand on.
All right.
So that's the plan.
Toss me.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01: We might so you're up on the door.
You and you are behind the uh table.
You are on like a chair.
So that I can use the table for cover, but still shoot.
Right.
That's the goal.
And Theoran, where is Theorin?
SPEAKER_00: I guess he's gonna be back by the table.
Okay.
He's invisible, but can't make pebbles.
I can hit him with a staff.
SPEAKER_02: And and where is your cleric?
He is hiding against the wall next to the door.
But far enough away.
Yeah, he's not in he's he's got the fighter between him and the
door.
If the door is here, he's on the same wall as the door, but
outside of the table, behind the table, like right here, like ten
feet to the right of the door.
That way he can rush out and heal.
Getting ready to cast a healing spell.
Yes.
Okay.
That's all but the last like syllable right.
Well, me too, me too.
With the web, I'm just holding it until you open the door and
then I say it.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
So what is just to make sure I am assuming I know what you
guys' actions are, but what are your actions for the first round
of combat?
Casting web.
Okay, so you're casting web.
Shooting at whatever presents itself.
SPEAKER_00: Preparing with my staff.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, roll initiative.
Oh four.
Oh, I rolled the wrong dice.
You rolled D10.
I did.
We were playing 2E last night.
Do your actions.
I start casting on four.
Open the door.
So you open the door as you were building to a crescendo with
your verbal component.
Right.
And masses of sticky spider web fling forth out of the
outstretched fingers of the half elf.
And they fly through the opening.
You can see some very large orc warriors on the other side with
shields and axes.
Further on the other side, about 20 feet further beyond the door,
you see another orc with a bow.
And it covers 16 five-foot squares.
Well, the the problem's gonna be you're shooting it from six feet
away through a door opening.
The door opening is going to limit the width of it.
If you were in the doorway.
SPEAKER_02: It's magic.
Now, I'm not gonna get super, super crazy with you here, but
if I'm over here and he opens the door, I can see straight
into the room if I'm positioned right here.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: But you're six feet away and behind a table.
Yeah, I can still see into the room, though, right?
SPEAKER_02: He's not like a spider generating it from his
butt.
It's magic.
I'm standing there casting the spell, but I'm using the table
as cover it.
That's the deal.
Well, what is the range of the spell?
20 feet.
So you can torture it.
That's where you would.
SPEAKER_01: You can cover most of that distance.
SPEAKER_02: We can start at 20 feet away.
It would start well, yeah.
It would start away.
SPEAKER_01: And I can I can give you more distance because you
can't cover as much width.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean it doesn't say yeah, it just says
it fills up 16, 5 foot squares, but it has to bind to walls and
stuff as well to be effective, right?
So I'm assuming I don't know how how wide the room is.
When you open the door, I guess I'll see.
Oh man.
So if the room's 30 feet wide.
This sounds like expanding spray foam to me.
He just throw picks a point and it filling up to 16 five foot
squares.
Up to 80 feet in height.
Yeah, it's huge.
So that's that's it's a lot of stuff.
It's massive.
Man, this is gonna be such a pain in the ass to cut through
to get through that room.
That's why you're burnt.
First off, it has a time limit and it will go out on its own in
80 minutes.
Eight zero minutes.
SPEAKER_00: We don't burn it first.
SPEAKER_02: I'm just like, if we really need to get through, we
burn it.
But remember, our goal here is to shoot them while they're
stuck in the webs.
I get out my box cutter and start trimming it.
SPEAKER_00: But if we throw it in there, they'll catch fire
with it.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but we don't want to burn it up until I say
in the first round.
SPEAKER_00: Shoot at them, do your thing, and then throw the
torch in.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I turn all of the gold into metal shavings.
So remember in the other room there was three or two tougher
orcs.
Yeah, right.
We want to shoot those guys, and the rest of them we might be
able to burn up with the web, right?
Relatively.
If they're not dead, they'll have like two hit points.
Unless I roll two ones.
Maybe I'll use the ill-shaped D4s to do that.
Don't.
Oh, maybe I will.
Maybe I'll use Sean's weapons against.
We'll betray you.
We'll see.
I'm willing to give it a shot just to get the max damage.
Yeah, well, how many of these guys do we web?
SPEAKER_01: Well, you can see that at least three orcs are cut
in the web right now.
Wow.
You can see them fighting against the saving throw at
minus two.
Okay.
And the orcs are that hit dice.
SPEAKER_02: So but by the logic of this, the only way they could
save would be to like dive out and throw.
So I'm assuming it's a spell save.
No creature within the area of effect, whether a saving throw
is made or not, can cast spells or attack until they escape the
web.
So essentially, if you are in the area of effect, you are
unable to attack until you get out.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
Do you see three orcs squirming in the in the web and fighting
against it?
All right.
But no arrows come.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, good.
If the creature is within five feet of the edge and they make
their save, they jump free.
If the creature is not within five feet of the edge and make
their save, they will be able to fight its way through the web at
twice the speed of a creature who failed to save.
Well, there's a lot with this spell.
Effect of a failed save.
Any creature that fails its saving throw has a cumulative 5%
chance of suffocating each turn until they escape.
I never even read the second page.
Creatures with a strength of less than 13 that fail to save
are trapped within the web and cannot move or act at all.
Creatures with a strength of 13 to 17 are capable of moving
through one feet of web per turn.
That's 10 minutes to go one foot.
Unless that's a misread.
Per segment.
Yeah.
Well, per round.
But they didn't say round.
They know what they're talking about, right?
Creatures with strength of 18 can move through the web at a
rate of ten feet per turn.
Creatures such as Dragon do not care.
Not really.
100 feet per turn.
They are very flammable, as Erin kept pointing out multiple
times.
He can't wait for this web to burn, dealing 2d4 points of
damage to all creatures within and burning away the webs.
Well that's pretty powerful.
Sounds like we need to shoot some orcs that are stuck right
now.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
Well, that's what I was remembering.
So the web has gone off.
You all are standing and looking in awe at the majesty of the
massive amounts of sticky web stuff that just went right by
you.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02: So I will shoot the most readily available.
Okay.
If there's any that aren't entangled, those are priority,
but I assume everybody in my view is probably in the website.
Everybody in your view is in the webs, yes.
Then I will shoot at whoever's closest.
You suck.
That's still an 11.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
What's your back hill?
SPEAKER_02: That hits what armor class?
That hits a six.
unknown: Huh.
SPEAKER_02: That does not hit.
It's close.
There's no penalties for being webbed?
None.
Zero.
You're rolled a four, dude.
Dude, yeah, you rolled a four.
No, I got an 11, though.
You rolled a four.
A five might have done it.
SPEAKER_01: On an immobile target.
You were standing ready with your staff, so that's what you
continue to do.
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
SPEAKER_01: Reyes, you already threw the door open.
Are you going to try to fight your way through the webs to get
to the thing, or are you just going to hang back?
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just going to stand here at the door and
motion arrows into it.
Wave them in the door, usher arrows.
I'm going to check their ID as they fly through.
Hit, miss, miss, hit.
SPEAKER_01: Alright.
And you get a second bow shot.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, can you get a five?
I'm sorry, what's that number?
I can't read it from here.
I was just listening as a kid.
SPEAKER_01: What armor class did you hit?
SPEAKER_02: I hit zero.
Okay, that hits.
That was a 10, by the way, he rolled.
Thaco's really hard for him.
I think really he does struggle with it, doesn't he?
Yeah.
For an old school gamer.
Yeah.
He really seems to struggle with Thacko.
Four points.
SPEAKER_01: He became weak and soft from years of playing
ascending.
Blame COVID.
For oh never mind.
SPEAKER_03: I said you have COVID.
No.
Oh.
It's like for your master.
As far as I know.
SPEAKER_01: For your I had that shit twice.
For your lack of I am a unicorn.
SPEAKER_02: You were a carrier.
unknown: No.
SPEAKER_02: Superdog.
No, I was a shut-in, is what I was.
SPEAKER_01: I still are.
No, not really.
Okay.
So roll your damage.
Four.
Okay.
I thought you were asking why you would roll damage.
And I'm like, what?
What for?
For points of damage.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he shot at me dead, obviously.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01: It might be.
Okay.
Next round, actions.
I'm going to go ahead, Doc.
Oh, Sam, shoot my bow.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: So you're going to back up behind the table and
shoot your bow?
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm going to stand right here at the door.
SPEAKER_01: Shoot my bow.
Okay.
Yeah, you kind of see one additional worth that they can't
see from their vantage point.
I'm going to move up towards the door.
You're going to move up into the webs?
SPEAKER_00: No, up towards the door, the out.
So they have if they come out of the door, I'm going to hit them
with my staff.
So they come through the door.
SPEAKER_01: So you're standing behind the table with these
guys.
SPEAKER_00: No, they're tables back for their.
I'm coming out from behind the table where Doc is, he's up by
the door.
I'm moving up to the door.
So if they come through the door, I can hit him with a
staff.
SPEAKER_02: Well, because you're invisible, so yeah, they won't
know you're there.
I'm going to get behind him because he's obviously a
frontline fighter.
You don't even know where I'm behind you.
Somebody starting.
SPEAKER_01: You feel something moving next to you.
SPEAKER_02: Why are we scared of three webbed orcs?
Do I see a f who said we are?
SPEAKER_00: I summoning gorgeous.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01: They're acting like we are.
Merrick, actions.
Shooting.
Okay.
Okay, so everybody's shooting.
Yep.
Right.
Except for somebody rolling a shooting.
SPEAKER_02: I did last time.
SPEAKER_01: And orcs are going to struggle on four.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
I missed.
Roll a three.
For all I know, I'm going to roll a three.
SPEAKER_01: Segment one.
SPEAKER_02: Seventeen, not a three.
And which orc were you shooting at?
One of the ones I can see.
The one of the farthest on the left.
He takes one point of damage.
SPEAKER_01: So that was the one in the back with the bow, and it
takes one point of damage.
He parted his hair.
He's getting a little scar on his cheek.
You hear the sounds of soft chanting.
Oh shit.
From the other room.
The one where the webs are?
Yeah.
It's off to the left a bit.
Shut the door.
SPEAKER_02: Actually.
Actually, for that.
SPEAKER_00: Paul Santa Torch and shut the door.
SPEAKER_02: That might be next round at this point.
Because we've already declared our actions.
Well, you sort of didn't.
Soft chanting.
Did you see your button?
The one that I can see.
Is it Sue?
That is chanting.
SPEAKER_01: No, it is not.
SPEAKER_02: It isn't.
SPEAKER_01: It's not an orcish voice chanting.
It's a human voice.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
A human voice?
Yeah, there's the human leadery guy who I thought was more
fighter than casting kind of guy.
So he's going to dispel your webs.
Maybe.
Wait.
Maybe.
Well, now he is.
It's roll.
Yeah, he's looking at the D's.
Dispel magic.
Anyway.
All right, I'm shooting.
He's looking at the D's?
Okay, shoot.
I'm going to shoot the already shot one.
The one I shot.
Is he dead?
He's not dead, though.
Not the one I shot.
I did one point of damage to him.
All right.
Well, the most wounded of the shot ones will be the one I'm
shooting.
Okay.
I don't think that hit.
Did you roll an eight?
Yes, I did.
You're getting hit.
Yeah, it's nine.
I hit AC seven.
No good.
No, my missed hitting AC six, so.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
So you guys have all taken your segment one action, so you get
another shot at the end of the round.
Yep.
The orcs are struggling against the and they're trying to hack
at it, flailing.
Trying to hack.
They're getting themselves more caught.
And the chanting comes to a crescendo.
And fireball in the face.
30-foot radius sphere is the is the its range of 60 feet, so it
can do that.
It is a fireball.
Yep, sure is.
SPEAKER_02: No, it's not.
SPEAKER_01: It's dispel.
You even called it.
He even pointed at you when you said dispel.
The chanting didn't seem like uh magic incantation.
It seemed like a prayer.
Oh, well, he's still.
I gotcha.
But still cleric.
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe he's healing us.
Cleric.
SPEAKER_02: He's on our side.
SPEAKER_00: It's confused.
It's Edric.
SPEAKER_02: I don't think that means what you think it means.
He'll be better at healing us than our cleric will.
Probably.
SPEAKER_00: Cleric.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, the caster level is definitely higher than
the target's caster level.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
So for every level higher than he is over four, he'll get an
extra five percent added onto 50.
So if he's level six, it'll be a 60% chance.
Level 7, 65.
Level 8, it'll be a 70% chance to just fell.
SPEAKER_01: Well, this will be a 75% chance.
You don't need to tell me those things.
SPEAKER_02: Let's close the door and leave.
I guess this is to go.
I guess this is a pretty quick one-shot.
He's bluffing.
They failed.
So in podcast land, what you didn't see was Sean roll his
eyes and look to the heavens as if to say, What the fuck?
SPEAKER_01: No, Rodney, come over here and witness my
percentile dice.
99.
SPEAKER_02: Any other time you would have loved that role.
Womp womp.
SPEAKER_01: And you hear cursing.
The vilest sort of cursing that you could ever possibly imagine.
I don't know.
I can't remember.
Curses you've never heard of before, and you've heard a lot
of curses.
SPEAKER_02: Most of them promote something about nanny's
knickers, and yeah, it was ugly.
SPEAKER_01: Lots of shouting to I use for assistance, but the
the webs stay in place.
So second shots.
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
If I was any good at it, I'd give them the old Nelson
Simpsons.
But I can't.
I'm so terrible.
I hit a negative one.
I miss.
Oh, second shot.
For six points of damage.
Okay, on that same one.
Yeah.
I miss.
SPEAKER_00: That's what I was looking at, time to figure out
what that these are from one or not.
SPEAKER_02: Middle-earth strategy battle game.
That's one of the elf factions.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
SPEAKER_01: Cool story, bro.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Party on Wayne.
We're going to separate you two next.
SPEAKER_00: Don't you have a game that you have or something?
You know, don't worry about the side conversation.
We're just sitting here.
The dice are sitting here.
SPEAKER_02: We got to separate them to the two now.
SPEAKER_00: I asked the question.
How is the bungling is dice?
Fucking dice goblins.
SPEAKER_02: Cubicles.
Cubicles are the only fucking students.
Yeah, we're going to have we're going to build cubicles in the
attic.
Nope.
You take the problem children and you put them close to
teacher.
So you have to switch the way there.
You're going to keep moving me.
Okay.
I start.
It's rolling initiative.
So check it out.
No, hold on.
We gotta declare.
We gotta declare.
The common denominator in all of this is right there.
That's true.
Interesting.
It's my dice.
I have interesting dice.
I can't help it.
All right.
Basic blue dice.
So interesting.
That's not fucking blue dice.
SPEAKER_01: Maybe Eric was the peacemaker keeping us all
together.
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
SPEAKER_02: We got that.
I'm shooting again.
We need to rethink our roster.
SPEAKER_01: Rodney didn't get enough sleep last night.
He's a little grumpy.
Well, we were gaming until like 12.
That's true.
SPEAKER_00: All right, I'm gonna get the wand ready just in case.
SPEAKER_01: Do it.
Okay, are you using the wand this round?
A rhinoceros appeared, right?
SPEAKER_00: Getting it out and looking at it.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm gonna use it.
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
All right.
Why not?
That would actually be hilarious.
It wouldn't.
A gout butterflies.
He's a priest.
Or a priest.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's gonna develop gout.
SPEAKER_02: Cause serious wounds.
That's gonna be a fun person.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give him gout.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
That'll really help me.
SPEAKER_00: What?
SPEAKER_01: So roll initiative.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, Sean.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
I we called it too quick last time.
We still go on segment one.
I rolled a two when he said roll initiative, and then Right, but
it's actually declarations first.
Yeah.
So it's Sean's fault.
I'm not casting any spells by them just.
I'm shooting.
I am also shooting.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, so roll your first segment attacks.
SPEAKER_02: Fuck me.
SPEAKER_00: You god.
SPEAKER_02: I hit like four, three.
I am.
Alright, I hit three, four, six points of damage.
SPEAKER_01: Image as well.
Okay, so that's six on that one, and you were shooting at the one
I shot last time.
Which was the archer across the way.
Oh, whichever.
Alright, you killed the archer across the way.
It hangs up in the stuck.
Drops the bow and the bow hangs up.
Was he in the webs?
Yeah.
Oh, right.
He couldn't he wasn't shooting back.
That's right.
Right.
Because they couldn't act because they didn't make their
their saves, right?
Their saves.
The other orc, you did six.
And Mark, did you hit this time?
No.
Don't laugh.
SPEAKER_00: That's like our healer healing.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, right.
Aren't they the coolest thing?
We should talk about them for a while.
SPEAKER_00: In the dark.
SPEAKER_01: They're linear.
So you hear shouted commands in uh a human voice shouting an
orcish.
You can't, it's kind of muffled because of the direction of
travel, but you hear some hobnailed boot footsteps moving
across the past door and off to the left.
And they you don't see anything new come into view, any of you,
but these boots sound like they're coming closer.
They're blanking us in the room that's in front of you.
In the room that's in front of you.
That's fine.
You feel that the room ahead of you, you're seeing 20 feet
ahead, but you feel the room goes off to the left.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it goes off in a further than we could see,
and that was a little bit more.
Only we had some explosives.
Well, let's see what happens with the old boys wand here on
initiative six.
SPEAKER_00: We can have fireball, but somebody wouldn't
let us rest.
Keep going.
SPEAKER_02: I'm telling you, there's there's a reason why we
shouldn't.
We there's a reason why we didn't rest.
Self-imposed time crunch.
SPEAKER_00: There's no need to point fingers at Rodney.
SPEAKER_02: We all know we all know who it was.
It's fine.
I got broad shoulders.
Lay it on it, buddy.
Self-imposed time crunch.
SPEAKER_00: All right, so purebred elves.
Yes.
Roll the dice.
SPEAKER_01: What do you have in mind when you're activating the
wand?
Oh god.
Death destruction.
I why do I picture the thing?
Do you have a target in mind when you're activating the wand?
The roll.
SPEAKER_00: Do you have one the furthest one like middle the
group?
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so the furthest work away that you can
see.
Yes.
Okay.
Roll your percentage dice.
SPEAKER_00: 36.
SPEAKER_01: It's a great number.
SPEAKER_02: Right there in the middle.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, roll me a percentage dice again.
SPEAKER_02: Get a two, please.
Get a two.
Come on, Rhino.
SPEAKER_00: Come on, Rhino.
SPEAKER_02: A 77, probably not a rhino.
SPEAKER_00: A 77.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a mouse.
SPEAKER_02: Aranosaurus rex.
Okay, Sean's making a face.
SPEAKER_00: And how's it a pickle?
Something very small.
Damn mouse.
SPEAKER_02: It's stuck in the web.
SPEAKER_01: You see a tiny little like three-inch mouse
that was struggling against the stickiness of the webs.
SPEAKER_02: Dude, you're pretty useless.
SPEAKER_01: So that mouse is gonna suffocate.
SPEAKER_02: You just killed a mouse.
How much XP is that mouse?
That's dead mouse.
SPEAKER_01: And the orcs, despite their situation, start
laughing.
I can't blame them.
SPEAKER_02: They don't have any idea what happened though, since
he's invisible.
unknown: Right.
SPEAKER_02: That caused no damage.
So he's still attacked.
For that matter, do we even know anything happened?
No.
Right?
We probably just heard a swish as he like did the thing.
Right.
But if Sean doesn't describe it, we don't get to laugh about it.
SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
I think it's funnier that we probably didn't notice.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but the people in the podcast will be wondering
what it was that he that mystery can be a powerful.
I mean, it's they could go to MythberryGames.com and buy the
book.
And then roll on the table.
SPEAKER_02: And then roll on the table themselves.
Or just go read the table, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
And then cross-reference his role.
So I missed a trick, basically, is what we're saying.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you could have made the it's okay.
Like one person buy the book.
SPEAKER_01: That's that's hey, we make one person buy the book.
Yeah, that's more than I expect.
Right.
Okay.
Let's go.
All right.
Second end of segments.
All right.
End of segment missile fire.
SPEAKER_02: If there's any other single shot round.
No, it's bows you get two all the time.
Every round?
I hit a negative ten.
That's right.
Weapon.
That's magnet that does that crap.
For one point of damage.
I hit armor class negative one.
Six points of damage.
SPEAKER_01: That killed it.
SPEAKER_02: Yay! Oh, because it was wounded.
SPEAKER_01: I've killed and.
SPEAKER_02: He put three arrows into that orc.
Jeez, what are they, little baby?
That orc is dynamite.
Alright, if there's any orcs left, I did six points of damage
to it.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, that killed that one.
SPEAKER_02: Is there any orcs left in the web?
SPEAKER_01: So there is one orc still struggling off to the
right.
You can't actually see him.
Okay.
You two behind the anybody behind the table can't be.
Like I said, I did six points of damage to him.
SPEAKER_00: In the doorway, isn't he?
SPEAKER_01: He's to the just to the side.
He's to the right of the doorway.
Did you get it?
If he was in the doorway, he would be in the web.
Oh wow.
Actions for the following round.
Are there any re remaining orcs within sight for shooting?
Oh, there is one.
SPEAKER_02: Then I will shoot.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Torch time.
SPEAKER_02: I can't see him, 100% correct.
SPEAKER_01: But you can't see him, no.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
I'm just gonna stand here.
Do we hear like a you feel that you're about to?
We're not summoning you.
I'm gonna stand here with my shield and block the side.
That's the charm of making.
Yeah.
All right.
That's how they made Mordred.
It's my anti-magic shield.
Because I'm a nerd and know that from the movie.
SPEAKER_01: The half-wing can be an anti-roll initiative.
SPEAKER_02: Loader, we want to declare our some actions first.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought.
Oh, I did not.
I'm not shooting.
He declared shooting.
Is there a torch in this room or somewhere very nearby?
I thought there were torches around.
SPEAKER_01: There are torches in the room, yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Alright, I want to grab one and throw it in the
web.
That's but that'll be my action.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Woof.
SPEAKER_00: I'm stepping back away from the door towards the
table.
SPEAKER_01: You will be in the end.
That was your five was your initiative rule?
Yeah.
Okay.
And it is a tie.
So what is the burning statistics for your web spell?
SPEAKER_02: It'll do 2d4 to anything in the cre in the
spell.
SPEAKER_01: Does it just go up or does it?
SPEAKER_02: It's yeah, I assume it's like a one-round kind of
deal.
It says it will flash through the entire web.
So that's it sounds like a pretty quick flash paper.
In this game, a round is a minute, so technically it takes
probably a minute to burn the whole web, I guess.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: That would be all right.
SPEAKER_01: So the the web was going to catch fire.
You do your shooting.
SPEAKER_02: That'll hit for one point of damage.
Dude, the one thing your character is good at, you are
terrible at.
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna run out of arrows before.
SPEAKER_01: I didn't even switch dice.
Okay, you roll your behind-the-table.
These are not just your porch in, and then it starts lighting
the and the the door start, the orc starts screaming.
Okay, these are very expensive.
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna roll damage.
SPEAKER_01: The paper cut that the halfling just gave us.
Games workshop dice.
SPEAKER_02: I was betrayed by your by your guy, you were
seeing it.
I rolled these squarish, roundish, awkward D4s that Sean.
The lamest D4s in the world.
And I got two ones.
SPEAKER_01: The only thing that happens from the rest of the
room is silence.
Odd silence.
SPEAKER_02: Is there any during the burning of the webs?
Is there any vision?
I know we were limited in our angles, but do we see anything
in the room that may allow us to see any of these moving
creatures that you mentioned earlier?
Not from our game.
Okay, that's fine.
I only see one option.
SPEAKER_01: Charge!
SPEAKER_02: Bust in the gangbuster.
SPEAKER_01: Well, right now the web's still this round and the
web's still on fire.
Yeah, I'm not gonna get its two hit points of damage.
Are you you can do your end of end of round shot?
SPEAKER_02: That'll hit four, one, three points of damage this
time.
SPEAKER_01: One, three, and two.
SPEAKER_02: Six.
Still enough to kill one single stinking orc.
SPEAKER_01: It might be three three rounds later, we're
killing an orc.
The orc expires and then burns up as the sticky mess, just
there's acrid, awful smelling smoke.
Carbon it's an orc mine.
It probably was stinky to start.
And the web is gone.
So actions for the following round.
SPEAKER_02: I'm busting in the in the room.
All right.
I'm gonna I'm gonna follow Reyes leaping over our barricade,
avoiding the caltrips that I know about on the ground, and
follow him in.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, Theorem.
SPEAKER_02: Don't go too far.
Oh, I won't.
SPEAKER_00: I'm holding out at the table to see what happens as
they go charging in the room.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, Merrick.
Moving up to the doorway so that I can shoot into the doorway at
a greater angle.
SPEAKER_01: So you're just you're gonna follow these two
and you're gonna go to the doorway as fire support.
Was there was this room lit beyond the webs that uh Yeah,
there this is just like most of the rooms, you there are sconces
on the walls, and it is towards the It's a good thing we didn't
catch one of those in the web.
SPEAKER_02: It might have gone up right away.
SPEAKER_01: So, initiative.
If everybody's rolled, three.
You guys go first.
SPEAKER_02: What's in the room?
SPEAKER_01: So, Reyes, you leap through the doorway,
sidestepping cow trips, of course.
And you find yourself in a long 20-foot wide hallway, much like
the one that was was guarded by the ballista trap that you were
in earlier.
You leap through one door, there is another door directly across
the 20-foot hallway.
As you look in, there are two other doors another 40 feet down
the hallway.
And at that line where those two doors are, there are five orcs
with shields held straight ahead.
Okay.
The one in the middle looks exceptionally large for an orc.
Okay.
You can see two orcs, at least two orc archers behind, and an
armored fig armored human figure in the shadows behind the front
line.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: This is not good.
So you're not gonna be able to get all the way there or get
into combat with the length of a standard shot.
But you're in the room and you charge in behind him and you see
that.
Right.
You get up to the door, you poke your head around, and you see
the phalanx of orcs with the skull shields, much like the
ones you found in the other room.
And they're just standing in ordered formation looking at
you.
SPEAKER_00: Do we retreat?
Give him a chance to surrender.
SPEAKER_01: Do we behind you is a ballista and a a stack of
ballista bolts, and you can see the jumbled rock wall that they
were using to ambush the other room from.
SPEAKER_02: So would this kind of be almost exactly the end of
that room with the jumbled wall, is the beginning of this room
like a collapse?
SPEAKER_01: You feel that it was originally all one big long and
it kind of collapsed here.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Okay.
How many total orcs are we talking about?
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you can see at least seven.
Ah, we can't.
And the dude.
And the armored figure beyond.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
These guys, you said they were past those two doors down there?
You said they were there's two doors 40 feet down.
Right.
And they were these orcs were right at the right.
SPEAKER_01: Right at the line with the line of where those
doors are.
SPEAKER_02: Gotcha.
Use the wand on the shield wall.
Do it.
SPEAKER_00: I'm saying explode.
But I have to wait till the next round.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm gonna shoot.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: But as you you burst into the room and you see all
this, there is a moment of awkward silence.
Speaking of awkward silence, Patron on our Patreon.
Awkward silence.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01: Yep, thanks for your kind donation.
We will have the Patreon fully up and going, and we'll have
some extras on there very soon.
So stay tuned.
But there's an awkward silence on the battlefield.
Actions for next round.
SPEAKER_02: I shoot the awkward silence.
Moving forward.
You say I can't get there this round, so.
SPEAKER_01: Well, if you're going to manifest them in the
game.
Okay, rails.
SPEAKER_02: What was that about once?
SPEAKER_01: Moving up.
Moving up.
So you're charging or you're getting into combat.
I charge the shield.
Do it.
You can charge round.
You didn't charge before in this combat.
Nope.
Are you charging the big dude in the center or are you do it?
SPEAKER_02: My gut tells me, yeah.
This is A D D.
There's no bonuses for that shield wall.
Just charge.
Just charge.
It's called all the attacks they get.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
It's called five attacks.
Yeah, I'm not charging shields.
They'll miss you.
You got high armor class.
No, I don't.
How many archers do you have?
The cleric does.
Let's send him down.
Yes! The cleric has a high armor class.
No.
I'm just gonna uh boldly stride forward with my shield out.
I have to, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
So are is the shield wall all the way across the yeah, the the
final can can bring me all up to the range the 20 feet, yeah.
Okay.
I'm just hoping the artillery comes in and does some damage.
But this guy's literally gotten out the wand to do something
artillery-like.
He has no idea what's going on.
Yeah, I'm sure that will do great.
Right, he's gonna summon a mouse onto one of their heads.
A rhino would be handy right now.
There is a dead mouse on the floor behind you.
SPEAKER_01: A rhino would disappear by now.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, rhino would be awesome.
Get that rhino out.
I could charge the shield wall on a rhino.
That would be epic.
That would be a very picturesque movement.
So fear him.
SPEAKER_00: I'm heading up to the door and using the wand,
thinking explode.
SPEAKER_02: Shooting.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna explode.
SPEAKER_02: Regretting opening the door.
Yeah.
And that's that's pre-action.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think you might have been that last round.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to I'm going to shoot.
I'm going to shoot one of the works in line here with Reyes,
because they're not engaged for them yet.
And if I do it now, I can deck get it before he gets into
combat.
The big one?
Or no, he doesn't need help with the big one.
He needs help with the flankers, so I'm going to shoot with the
flankers.
Get the action economy down.
SPEAKER_00: And when using the ballista, it's not loaded, is
it?
SPEAKER_02: Do you know how to use the ballista?
I don't really have any experience with that.
Oh, that's what the cleric's doing.
He's going to go load the ballista.
Yes.
All right.
Yeah.
He won't be able to pull the trigger because he's a cleric
and we can't shoot things like that.
SPEAKER_01: It might eventually need help aiming at.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Do we have unseen servant?
We'll get that.
SPEAKER_01: Not on deal with that later.
After that one memorized.
That's good.
I rolled a one.
SPEAKER_02: Ah.
It's all right.
We're still got our bows on second one.
It's okay.
We got healing.
Let's coordinate our shooting.
Left or right.
Left.
All right, we're shooting left.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
The the orcs raise their weapons in anticipation of it.
I should have gotten it.
SPEAKER_02: He's not charging now.
No, I'm just walking slowly.
SPEAKER_01: Slow mo.
SPEAKER_02: I'm picturing a yes, definitely.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: He's chinging in plain sight.
SPEAKER_01: Ching.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
SPEAKER_01: And there is some chanting.
SPEAKER_02: Rey is unchained.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, actually, let me get the casting time.
SPEAKER_02: On second thought, maybe the shooting should go at
the cleric who's casting a spell.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
He's probably behind the shield wall.
Well, it's segment one, so this might be Reyes.
SPEAKER_02: Unless it's got a casting character.
My initial thought wasn't that guy, so it'll just have to.
I'm not going to change my.
No, my thought was also the surrounding.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
So the cleric.
SPEAKER_02: No, do you want to make some I don't want to?
SPEAKER_01: No, actually, it was in your guys' favor.
Okay, sure.
So you hear the cleric begin his prayer to Iuse.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's going to be a whole round.
Yeah.
Oh no.
We'll get him next.
We'll get him on second.
SPEAKER_01: And out of the out of the dark darkness spring
arrows.
Oh, how many?
Concentrated on the two in the front.
Two on Reyes.
Well, you were behind him, right?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Yeah.
Behind him.
Yeah.
That's but that's why when I heard two in the front, I'm
like, whoa, not in the front.
I'm definitely behind the guy in the front.
Not in the face.
Not in the face.
Not that I can't be shot.
What natural 20 did you roll?
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't natural 20.
On Reyes.
The one on you missed.
SPEAKER_02: Of course.
Because I'm sneaky.
SPEAKER_01: Eight points of damage.
Holy God.
SPEAKER_02: You got extra healing.
You know.
How many archers were there?
There were two, three?
Now it's segment two.
Okay.
We go on one with our bow shots.
Right.
So this is simultaneous, I guess.
You want to roll that so it's like not on the center of the
thing then?
SPEAKER_00: Not much better.
SPEAKER_02: There was an 18 there.
Let's see.
And which one was that on?
We're shooting left.
That would hit armor class four.
Which one was that on?
Same one he's shooting on the left.
Left of the line.
On the left of the line.
So that basically the cleric's in the middle, right?
SPEAKER_01: He's behind him.
No, there's a very large orc in the middle.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: The cleric is behind.
SPEAKER_02: So it would be the one to the left of the very
large orc.
SPEAKER_01: Just to the left.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
Oh, I was shooting.
SPEAKER_01: Not the one very low.
SPEAKER_02: I was shooting on the very end.
We didn't coordinate our attacks very well.
Well, I would just shoot the end.
Okay.
Because that's the most flanking of all the.
But he's not going to hit the end.
SPEAKER_01: He's going to the armor class did you hit?
Five.
SPEAKER_02: That hits.
And you hit as well.
Four points of damage.
Okay.
Two points of damage.
Oh.
Yes.
I am the king.
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01: Alright.
And you were wand of wondering.
What do you have in mind?
Do you have a target in mind when you hit the center?
The big guy in the center.
The big guy in the center of the front.
93.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
How many charges you got left?
Five.
93.
Not that I'm keeping track.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you I am.
Okay.
So you activate the wand.
Waterfall.
Shimmering colors dance and play over a 40 foot by 30 foot area
in front of the wand.
SPEAKER_02: Holy shit.
I'm going to start dancing.
That's not what you were aiming at.
30 to 40 foot.
SPEAKER_01: Creatures therein are blinded for 1d6 rounds.
Oh shit.
That might count all of us.
It does basically.
Definitely me.
Not you.
Not you.
But you and you and all the orcs.
All the orcs are blinded for.
Segments or seconds?
I'm sorry, rounds.
Rounds.
Lovely.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, damn.
SPEAKER_01: So six minutes.
So is the the enemy cleric also included in this?
He wouldn't be, no.
unknown: Damn it.
SPEAKER_01: Definitely those two in the front rank.
I love it.
Only the front rank.
SPEAKER_00: Now's the time to step up with your shooting.
SPEAKER_01: No, I was thinking that's the one.
You can see mass consternation, both your friends in the front
and all of the orcs in the front row.
Oh.
Great.
But who's his black balls?
I can't see a thing.
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna say for the record, remember when we
talked about bringing Alban onto this?
Right.
This was why.
No, he's just gonna be an agent of chaos.
And I was overruled.
SPEAKER_00: I could have given you the wand and you could have
just put it in your bag and done nothing with it.
SPEAKER_02: This is true.
Right.
Right.
But remember, the only reason GM had the wand here was to give it
to the agent of chaos to allow all the crazy things.
SPEAKER_01: If you have an agent of chaos, you have to let him be
an agent of chaos.
No, you don't.
SPEAKER_00: Plant that seed and water.
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to.
There's essential nature involved here.
I'm going to back theorin.
SPEAKER_00: You can only see me.
SPEAKER_02: This might be won the line of an attack, though.
Did not cause damage.
It did not cause damage.
Did not cause damage.
That's a judgment call by the GM.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
Well, you guys can't see shit anyway.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, you don't know.
Alright, so the spell of the cleric reaches a crescendo.
And not only can you can't you see, now everything is silent,
dead, unnaturally, eerily silent.
Well, I'm just gonna solve it.
Is it an awkward silence?
It is an awkward silence.
I mean, I think the silence is silence.
I think we make it awkward.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: He thought we had some mage mojo going, right?
So that's what I want.
We're badass.
You guys are badass.
I better silence you so you can't cast spells, but little
did he know we don't have any.
None of them are gonna be very useful in this situation.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Let's go invisible and start walking on the
ceiling.
He knows you were.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he knew you cast the web.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
SPEAKER_01: No, that makes sense.
He might have seen the mouse.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
Yeah.
He knew there was magic going, but this means Alban can't use
his wand anymore.
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
SPEAKER_02: Because it has a command word.
Because there's a command word to make the water work.
And you are silenced, my friend.
But that also means that nobody can hear me.
Nobody doesn't just hear me.
Well, it's a 15-foot radius, so.
And you're not in business.
What did he cast on?
I don't know.
That's the question.
I can't hear.
I can't see.
SPEAKER_01: I'm literally saying what soon as he cast it, the
world went dead quiet.
So you guys are blind and deaf.
Mm-hmm.
Cool.
All right.
Next round.
Let's do this.
What are we doing?
All right.
You're in you two are in combat.
Well, I'm not sure.
I know that you're in the second rank.
SPEAKER_02: No, I didn't engage anything.
I was shooting my bow.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So you're But you're blind and deaf, and he never entered close
combat either.
You never did.
Oh, you did?
He didn't make an attack this round.
He's in time.
SPEAKER_00: I say the cleric goes up and helps Doc.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this stuff all happened before I it's all good.
I actually have a solution for my problem.
You guys are screwed.
Yeah, I'm I'm just shooting shit.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to try to sneak around the oars get at the
cleric.
SPEAKER_02: You're going to point your wand at him?
SPEAKER_00: I have a dagger and a stab.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
You're a close combat.
I can kind of sneak around and probably more effective than I
am at this point.
SPEAKER_00: I'm invisible, but everyone else is blind.
Now's the time to go around everybody and try to get to
them.
SPEAKER_01: Again, I don't want to stifle your agent of chaos
nature.
The cleric is armored in plate mail.
And you are armored in linen.
Linen.
The cleric is obviously very powerful, which means very high
level, and has hand-to-hand weapons as well.
You got it, dude.
And you have a staff.
Don't, don't.
And you're terrible at it.
Don't let him talk about it.
SPEAKER_00: I get a dagger, too.
SPEAKER_02: Do it.
Don't let the DM talk you out of this.
He knows you're his weakness.
Yes.
So he's trying to talk you out of it.
You should do it.
Yes.
The cleric is actually scared.
If the DM tells you not to do it, you do it.
SPEAKER_00: What?
No.
I'm going to go up by dock then and use my stack.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, good idea.
So you're but you're going up to you're going to try to get
around the orcs.
SPEAKER_00: Now you put it like that, no.
SPEAKER_01: They're still on a line.
No, they're just in the line.
SPEAKER_00: I thought they killed the one.
SPEAKER_02: He never killed one of them.
No, no, we didn't kill anything.
They're like, I'm not right.
I'm not in the second rank.
You'll never hear him scream.
So shooting my bow.
See, I lose my senses in a cave.
What am I doing?
Or swinging wildly in every direction.
I mean, there's just spin in a circle with your weapon sticking
out.
I'm going to use a special maneuver called flail.
I am going to drink my potion of clairvoyance.
The potion together is one of the classic scrying spells that
allows the caster to extend his or her perception and senses far
into the distance, which is right in front of me in this
case, as a means of seeing events.
It says in a distant location, but really I'm going to do use
it right here.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
Not the creative use of the location must either be familiar
to you.
SPEAKER_02: You have been there before.
I'm here right now.
Or be obvious.
Are you though?
Yes.
Such as the top four, whatever.
So so essentially for one turn, I will be able to see.
That's how I interpret this using the clairvoyant spell.
I still won't be able to hear because that would be clear
audience.
So to me, this using this potion right now, like this, allows me
to see.
Okay.
I don't know what the GM's ruling will be, but I'm drinking
it because I think this is a because you have no other
option.
Because I think it's a good use of a potion as an attempt to
counteract something.
I like it.
Even though it's my own party member that I'm trying to
counteract.
Just like to point that out.
Wasn't mean.
SPEAKER_01: Well, I didn't mean to do it.
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
Agent of Chaos.
That's all I'm saying.
All right, who's a rolling initiative for us?
No, I think the Agent of Chaos should be a good thing.
No, you roll ones all the time.
Here comes a six.
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
A four.
Might as well be a six.
Okay, so they start flailing wildly on two.
Yep.
unknown: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01: Well, it was a fun campaign.
Okay, so big orc in the middle.
I don't want to play a female ranger, though.
All right, that is minus four.
But I rolled an 18.
So 14.
So that will hit an armor class of four.
Calling it.
One.
SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
Got me.
This must be the big guy.
SPEAKER_00: And that's right.
They're all blind too.
SPEAKER_02: I know.
That's why it was minus four.
Two points of damage.
Well let us see they're as effective as we are.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: The other orcs weren't.
Well, the two nearby would probably swing as well.
That would hit an armor class of four, which I'm pretty sure
doesn't do it.
Nope.
And that doesn't hit any armor class known to the rules.
Out of the darkness are bow shots.
Merrick, do you have a lesser armor class than negative one?
You're funny.
You're funny.
You are funny.
Five points of damage.
SPEAKER_02: My GM ain't that cool.
SPEAKER_01: And that didn't hit Pindar.
SPEAKER_02: Might be time to tactically retreat here.
Yeah, but we can't tell each other to tactically retreat.
Or see which way we're going.
Okay.
Yeah, new Marco Polo here.
No.
SPEAKER_01: Anyone that can see sees the armored figure turn
around and walk away.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's like, we got this one.
Classic villain move.
Don't watch the heroes die.
Yeah, but he didn't tell us his master plan yet.
Weird.
You guys' turn.
He's saying it right now.
We just can't hear it.
That's fair.
He's blurting it right out.
SPEAKER_01: And then we will bring the mountain down upon
your heads.
But you don't hear.
So you quack your potion.
I do.
And your mind's eye can now see what your physical eyes cannot.
SPEAKER_02: And it's not a pretty picture.
No, it's chaos incarnate at this point.
SPEAKER_01: Now you can see.
Well, yeah, you can't see the following room because you've
never been there.
The what room?
The room beyond.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not even trying.
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say there's too much going on here.
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm worried about using it to see what's
around me that might try to kill me.
The eight archers.
I don't think there's eight.
I think there's like two or three.
All right, bow shot.
Whatever you were shooting at.
Which one are you?
Same one.
That will hit a four.
That hits?
Four points.
Okay.
You're shooting one of the armored ones that was in the
shooting the one that was just to the left of the big guy.
Okay.
Well, at this point, things might have stopped.
I'm sure they're milling about.
Yeah, it started dissolving the line.
But I can see the arrow sticking out of him from my last shot.
You can.
Yes, I can.
I can now too.
Yeah, yeah.
I can't hear his dying gurgles, but you sneak up.
SPEAKER_00: I was trying to sneak up and around to see what
Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Roll me a D6.
Because you're like up against the wall trying to get around
the and are you going to the left or the right?
SPEAKER_00: Left.
Right, because they're shooting at left.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
So you shimmy up, and what did you roll?
Two.
It's very tight because this this orc is moving around trying
to but you manage to squeak just past him without bumping into
him at all.
And you're still invisible, right?
Okay.
So you find yourself behind the shield wall.
There are two orcs there rapidly reloading bows and shooting
them.
And you can see the back of the cleric as he strides towards a
very large opening on the end of the hallway about 50 feet away.
There is lights, some of them strange purplish lights in the
room beyond.
Warps down.
SPEAKER_00: Aren't there things we were turning?
Right, wrong game.
SPEAKER_01: Rizak?
I don't know.
So it's minus four, right?
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, minus four.
15.
So I hit A C zero.
Yeah, that hits.
Small, medium, large.
What am I doing?
SPEAKER_01: It's a medium creature.
SPEAKER_02: Extra medium.
SPEAKER_01: It's an orc.
It's a big orc, but it's an orc.
Seven.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00: D.
SPEAKER_02: Seven D, yes.
SPEAKER_01: Next round.
Actions.
SPEAKER_02: How many or how many orcs or archers are up back
there shooting?
Two.
Two.
SPEAKER_01: And you can see them with your clairvoyance, you can
actually see them with more clarity than my real eyes.
But it doesn't make me shoot any better if I shoot.
No, it doesn't.
It's weird.
You've never shot with clairvoyance before.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm gonna I'm actually gonna shoot the or the
the orcs in the back with their bows.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
So one of your one of each.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because that way they can't shoot me.
Because I'm an open target.
Okay.
So if a orc is blinded and deaf, does that count as if I were
hiding for backstab purposes?
Amen and yes.
There's no way it doesn't.
I think sneak attack would probably have to be behind them.
Blind.
SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
SPEAKER_02: And deaf.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Blind and deaf would just be don't get hit by them.
You can see that they're disciplined enough to keep their
general line.
Their general line.
Yeah.
You'd kind of have to probably do what he did.
SPEAKER_02: Sneak around and then get them from behind.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
How much longer do we have on the now?
You would normally get, I mean, if if you're not blind and
you're attacking somebody that's blind, I would give you a plus
four to the to hit.
SPEAKER_02: I'm just thinking about it it's not worth doing if
I don't get the backstab bonus to damage.
Because the damage is basically the same as shooting a bow.
SPEAKER_01: Well, you can do the thing.
The orcs with bows have eyesight.
So they can see you.
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
But they'll be able to shoot him, but they'll be able to
shoot him from doing what he wants to do.
Right.
Right.
He'll just be out to take some arrows.
Right.
SPEAKER_01: And you wouldn't be able to do the attack this
round, but you could set up.
SPEAKER_02: Alright, I'll do that.
Alright.
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to shoot the archers.
And you are behind the line, invisible.
SPEAKER_00: So can I get up behind the archer's and stab one
in the back with a surprise attack?
Because I'm invisible.
Yeah, you can't.
SPEAKER_01: I mean you'd have to charge.
Okay.
But yeah, you could do that.
SPEAKER_00: Alright, I'm going to do that to the city.
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's good because you've got a plus six to
hit then.
Which you'll need.
And Reyes, you're continuing out.
You're blind fighting with the big guy.
It's initiative.
Alright, initiative.
Come on.
Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00: Proud.
Okay, not so proud.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, you guys go first.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: So segment segment one missile fire.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
Shooting with an archer in the back.
Like the back row.
Right.
Literally the back.
SPEAKER_01: Which one left or right?
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't matter.
And by it doesn't matter, it means I missed.
SPEAKER_01: He looks like he chose neither.
Okay, and the one on you also missed.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00: Give him a warning shot.
SPEAKER_01: One of them attempts to fire at Merrick, the one that
hit him last time.
That also misses.
I rolled two fives.
SPEAKER_00: I can give you a healing potion.
SPEAKER_01: I have one.
Two fives against you.
Okay.
I like it.
And you weren't firing missile.
You were you are doing your charge, and that happens on your
initiative turn.
So your initiative turn.
Who wants to go first?
Okay.
So do your charge.
Do your plus six.
SPEAKER_02: Get resolved first here.
SPEAKER_00: Nine?
I don't know how to do that.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you hit AC nothing.
Maybe ten.
Yeah, now you're and now you're visible.
SPEAKER_00: But I'm behind them, so they might not have noticed.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't think that's how the other ones that
were.
I mean, you need to have accomplished something because
now because now you're in combat with one of the orcs that was
winging arrows at you.
So Americ, you creep your way past the frontline, the orc
watching you all the while.
But you don't manage actually roll your roll a d6 for me.
SPEAKER_02: What is all that noise?
SPEAKER_01: A one okay.
And you get past the the orc and you're in a position to strike
next round.
Reyes.
I had to get on enough foresight for my I missed horribly.
Okay.
And the one on you with 10 minus four, that's a six, and that
would hit an arm class of much worse than yours.
Very well.
We're like so end of round missile fire.
All right.
One missile is headed towards Merrick as that orc also backs
towards the back of the room.
SPEAKER_02: I'm shooting the one not engaged with Theron.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, and Merrick that hits an AC of five.
That missed.
And it's three rounds, so there's another three rounds of
blindness.
So actions for this round.
You're gonna go stabby stab.
Come on, backstab and pindar.
SPEAKER_02: I'm shooting that the archer again.
Clearly, the clairvoyant stabbing doesn't allow.
It's like shooting from a third person.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: And you're fighting.
Yep.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna roll a natural 20 on one of these.
I never do well in this video here.
I get two attacks this round.
SPEAKER_01: All right, and okay.
Initiative.
Two.
Okay.
Segment one attacks, which will include yours and my archering
attack against the other bowman.
SPEAKER_02: 19.
I missed.
Doc's having a bad day.
Two damage.
This big die.
Blind and deaf.
What do you expect?
Well, my statement stands.
Doc's having a bad day.
He can't see and hear.
He wasn't visible.
You can't hear.
I can't see, but I can't hear at all.
But you can feel really good.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel great.
So nobody's senses or perceptions are normal at this
point.
I know.
It's a little terrifying.
Actually, except there.
SPEAKER_01: Do your backstab.
SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
I'm gonna miss anyway.
Doesn't matter.
No, that'll definitely hit.
And which one are you backstabbing?
The big one.
The big one?
Ten points.
At least you need to roll three ones.
Only one.
A one, a three, and a six.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, the orc bellows with rage.
SPEAKER_02: You're really gonna become visible right now.
Well, you mean six?
Like they're gonna be able to see soon, I guess I guess.
Oh, you mean like you're gonna become visible to him?
I've fought orcs before, I'm not afraid.
That hits.
All right.
Bring it.
Why are you rolling a d8?
SPEAKER_00: Dagger.
Why you use a d4?
It's a big fucking dagger.
It's called a sword.
SPEAKER_02: Dagger D8.
He does.
I'm gonna go back to chaos.
SPEAKER_01: What in the hell, man?
SPEAKER_00: Take the basic dagger out of the book there,
and it's a big one.
SPEAKER_01: It's a basic long sword.
SPEAKER_02: No, it does not.
No game ever.
Show me daggerman D8.
Show me.
Roll your D4 damage.
SPEAKER_00: Like six months ago.
SPEAKER_02: One.
One.
SPEAKER_00: You kind of deserve that.
SPEAKER_01: To be fair.
Alright.
And so who didn't I get this round?
SPEAKER_02: I think I have an end-of-round attack coming up.
I like the way you say that, Sean.
Alright, well, it's the orc's turn.
Okay.
I got my end of round attack.
Big guy on Ray S.
Maybe that's what I rolled already, then.
That's a hand rolled two.
Yeah, I did my first attack and then sneak attack and then his
attack.
And yeah, I got my second attack.
Yeah, you still get it right.
Yeah, me too.
SPEAKER_01: One of them turns around and whiffs ineffectually
at Merrick.
Because they think you're six feet tall.
It would have sliced a human right in half, but right over
the head.
You just feel the breathe.
You cut my hair.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna do a morale check, actually.
It's tough to run away when you can't see.
But think about the terror of when you're getting nobody can
hear.
Right.
SPEAKER_01: You can't tell him to surrender because nobody can
hear.
All right.
The archer in the back that isn't being attacked by the elf
turns and runs.
The one I was winging arrows at.
Right.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
I got one more arrow at him this round.
It's okay.
I'm sure the cleric can kill him when he runs by.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
So end of round attack.
SPEAKER_02: All right, I'm gonna take a shot at the retrieve orc.
Well, I hit it a lot.
Armor cost two.
Okay.
One point of damage.
I broke one a lot for damage today.
Oh, you yeah, you're sucking today, boo.
Only the orc collapses when the arrow then it's back.
So you didn't know it was just one then.
Yeah.
We don't know that he collapsed.
The last one is the only one that matters.
I hit AC zero for six points of damage.
Clean blind ain't so bad.
This thing is bloodied.
Wow, this is a big fucking orc.
Yeah.
I've only hit him once, I think.
SPEAKER_01: I hit him for ten.
And the vast doors at the end.
SPEAKER_02: At the end of the hall slam shut.
Oh gee.
The purple light is now gone, I assume.
Right.
That's where the purple light was.
Well, we don't see the purple light anyway.
Well, if we kill all these, we've killed at least two-thirds
of the orcs in here that we know of.
We think.
SPEAKER_01: And Theran, what's your armor class?
Ten.
The orc hits you with its dagger for d8.
I knew that was weapon.
For three points of damage.
Next round.
I'm and that's this is this is round five of the blindness, I
believe.
Alright.
There were six total, you said?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Not that we knew that.
We don't really know.
Like mechanically, we don't have any idea when it's gonna end.
Okay.
So I'm charging.
Next round.
I'm charging.
Oh, you're charging what?
One of the orcs in that's oh, you know what?
Damn it.
No, he's on the other side of those orcs.
I'm gonna charge the close combat orcs.
Okay.
One of them that's unengaged, you know.
All right.
Unflailing wildly.
Okay.
Going to uh backstab what would have been the first orc to the
right of the big guy.
SPEAKER_01: Now looking at it from the back.
Okay.
Yes.
All right.
So that would have actually been the one that you'd shot before.
No, the intent is the opposite side.
Okay, then that would be the left from the back.
Yes.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: It won't matter, he'll roll a line.
SPEAKER_01: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Hit him with my staff.
SPEAKER_01: All right.
SPEAKER_02: Probably not, but I'm going to continue flailing
wildly at the big guy.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
Or whoever he's actually initiative.
SPEAKER_02: You're up.
Isn't mine?
Yeah, why not?
We're going around the table.
Same time.
Alright.
SPEAKER_01: Round one action.
Segment one.
Oh, segment one, yeah, sorry.
I don't have any segment one.
Chirp, chirp.
So on segment four, everything happens.
Alright.
Oh, yeah, that'll hit.
Gonna hit armor class of two on you.
Me?
Yeah, that hits.
I'm gonna hit armor class six.
That misses.
So what is you're charging.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm gonna doesn't matter because I rolled
a two.
So plus six, plus eight, ten.
Armor class seven.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
No, that doesn't hit.
SPEAKER_02: Is this a rear attack?
No.
Wow, you suck.
I do suck.
Five points of damage for that backstab.
SPEAKER_01: Did you rolled a hit already?
Yeah, I rolled an 18.
And how many points of damage?
Five.
SPEAKER_02: Might be enough.
Wow.
If you on 3d6, I rolled a five.
SPEAKER_01: Nobody's surprised.
That's a one and two twos.
You would have killed the one if you had attacked the one that
you'd already shot with arrows.
Yeah, you're probably wrong.
I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's the 30 arrows he has it.
Yeah.
How many arrows?
SPEAKER_01: You gotta be running low on arrows here.
There's plenty laying around.
Missed.
SPEAKER_00: Yep, missed.
SPEAKER_01: The one back at you missed.
SPEAKER_00: But time is done against me and the other guy
just swinging at each other and everything.
SPEAKER_01: And your big guy attack already went down.
The other orcs are starting to just flail around.
Lots of flailing.
Did anybody hit at all that round?
SPEAKER_02: Oh I hit.
No, the big guy hit the hit.
I definitely hit.
Oh, you getting beat or what?
A little bit.
Starting to feel it.
I'm starting to feel it.
SPEAKER_00: What did the cleric do?
SPEAKER_02: I am bloody.
SPEAKER_01: He's got the ballista in position.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, that's right.
Our cleric got the ballista right in the back for you.
Yep.
Shoot right into that engaged combat.
That'd be awesome.
I would do it.
That would be so rad.
I would totally do it.
Not all of them.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so Edric pulls the trigger on the ballista.
Wait, he's really doing that?
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02: And you get the roll?
Roll it out here in the open.
Eric would have the roll of the game.
SPEAKER_01: You don't want that seven.
Ineffective.
He missed.
SPEAKER_00: He has like a plus six in a ballista one.
SPEAKER_01: Some some masonry falls off of the wall.
I thought he was double specialized in ballista.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what I heard.
SPEAKER_02: Did all that research last time?
Good thing it's right here in his character sheet that it's
Thacko's 18 to tell us that he's definitely missed.
Next round.
I'm in staying.
We can't see this round yet.
That's next round.
We're gonna be able to see.
So we gotta take somebody out real soon.
SPEAKER_01: I think we're all in combat now, aren't we?
Yes.
So yeah.
Three.
All right.
This is my two attack round.
Tied as well.
So first segment attacks.
All right.
Armor class.
Go ahead, Doc.
SPEAKER_02: I gotta do I gotta do math.
SPEAKER_01: We've been making fun of Sean for this, but yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, I'm not asking for help.
I hit AC7.
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't ask for help either.
SPEAKER_02: AC seven?
Yeah.
No, I just get way more of it than I want.
Okay, that hits for seven points of damage.
SPEAKER_01: And which one was this?
SPEAKER_02: Whichever one it was that I had charged, which was
somebody by one of the line orcs.
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say it was the one that he attacked.
Okay.
It is dead.
Theorem.
Your tickle fight with the orc in the back.
SPEAKER_02: Missed.
SPEAKER_01: Another miss.
Oh, it didn't.
SPEAKER_00: Figures.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm picturing like two little kids slapping at
each other.
You might need to go help him.
SPEAKER_01: Well, no, the orc the orc is definitely more
combat trained than the one one point of damage.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna move to a new orc and stab him in the
back.
That will hit a lot.
Hit negative 10.
Triple snake eyes here.
All right.
For nine points.
Respectable.
SPEAKER_01: Close to average.
Okay, and that orc dies with your short sword in his back.
SPEAKER_02: I take it out.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
Looking around, the two of you see the combat between Reyes and
the large orc.
So now when the blindness comes out.
You see the combat in the back with the elf and the and the
smaller orc.
Slap five.
SPEAKER_02: It's us all in melee against five orcs.
We get second attacks, right?
SPEAKER_01: Yep, second attacks.
Your second attack.
On what?
Well, you're still within combat range.
SPEAKER_02: Alright, so I step over and I stab the big guy.
I missed him horribly.
Oh, he needs to be stabbed in the with a spear then.
Armor class two.
That hits?
Four eight points of damage.
Oh he's got one hit point left.
Because that's the face Sean's making right now.
Or he that's the face the guy was making.
SPEAKER_01: But he's still alive, Sam.
Vision returns.
Blurrily you see the room come into focus.
SPEAKER_00: But we still can't hear.
SPEAKER_01: Nope.
So actions for this round.
SPEAKER_00: Attack.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm gonna attack.
I have one attack round.
I'm like a spider because I can see with my own eyes and
clairvoyance right now.
Wow.
I'm gonna just engage the closest orc that is not engaged.
SPEAKER_01: That's across the room.
There's the one you guys want winged arrows into at the
beginning of the combat.
Oh, across the room?
Well, you're on the other side of the line from them.
The fight between Red Guy and him is in the middle.
SPEAKER_00: Max didn't hit me as four.
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like return.
SPEAKER_02: Whatever the next ready target is.
Initiative.
Yep, Doc, you're off.
SPEAKER_00: Two.
SPEAKER_01: What'd you get?
Same.
So we've had three rounds in a row of time.
SPEAKER_02: Simultaneous.
SPEAKER_01: Tickle fight in the back.
Let's do just get that out of the way first.
Missed.
Eight.
You can't roll over it.
You need like a now.
You're gonna need to make a decision soon.
SPEAKER_00: I still got like three rounds.
SPEAKER_01: Because I hit an armor class of three.
SPEAKER_02: That hits him.
But how many points of damage though?
One, two.
If only you had that D8 dagger.
I'm just gonna say this has got to be the longest a wizard has
ever stood in melee that I've ever seen.
Let's let him go.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna hit him once or die trying.
SPEAKER_02: This is entertaining.
Wait, hold on.
Do you have a staff?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Are you proficient?
Yeah, but for him.
Why aren't you using it?
I just can't hit him.
SPEAKER_00: I'm using the staff.
I just can't hit him.
SPEAKER_02: The staff is a d8.
No, the death is a good one.
You have no bonuses.
No, it's a D12.
Oh D12.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's finish this before we give our DM any on yours.
His face is kind of getting red easy.
Yeah.
Blood pressure's up.
All right.
First attacks.
All right.
I'm in the back line again.
I reform.
Hey, it doesn't matter that I can see again.
Call you brave Sir Robin.
I should, yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Just close your eyes.
Big one on you.
SPEAKER_02: Of course, Luke.
I have two attacks this round.
I'm going to band targeting computer and just raw dog.
We're doing better blind.
Six isn't going to hit him.
I'm doing better when he was blind.
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm guessing six.
Okay, Merrick, you make your way across the room.
An orc meets you halfway with a wild charge.
Ooh.
And wild, ineffectual charge.
The other orc attacks you.
Okay.
And armor class three.
This does not hit an armor class three.
And big guy on Reyes.
That is a 15.
That'll hit.
Which would normally hit zero, which he's not blind anymore.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to wince for you here in a sec.
SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
Seven points of damage.
Oh.
SPEAKER_02: That's going to leave a mark.
He's got a lot of body space left to mark.
Yeah, we're good.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: We're good at that.
And you have anybody didn't do an action.
Oh, you need to attack.
I've not attacked yet.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02: I missed.
Of course, now that everybody can see you.
Right.
The only time he does well is when nobody can see him.
That's true, but I'm not really what rogues are good at.
Yeah, that's fair.
I rolled a three that time, just for the record.
SPEAKER_01: Next round.
And we're all in combat.
SPEAKER_02: So I'm assuming Reyes is going to take the big
guy out.
I'm going to turn my attention to the guy next to me.
Okay, bad guys are going on two.
We're all in combat, so we're all just going to continue
fighting.
Is that the deal?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Here's our initiative number five.
Besser.
Okay.
Two attack round up.
Big guy on Reyes.
Big guy gets two attacks, too, huh?
That would hit.
SPEAKER_01: An armor class of one.
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
It's getting dicey over there.
Yeah, it's getting little ugly.
Where's the cleric?
He still can't cast.
It's still silenced in the city.
Five points?
Five points.
Ah, good.
Tickle fight.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to be able to do that.
Orc on Merrick.
That will hit an armor class of six.
He missed.
Orc on Pindar.
That will hit an armor class of two.
Hits.
Ow, I don't like getting hit.
Five.
unknown: Ooh.
SPEAKER_01: Bloody.
Orc on.
No, I'm not bloody.
I'm bloody.
Hieron, that would hit an armor class of twelve, which you made
that one.
Okay, you guys' turn.
Right.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
I hit armor class negative two.
From the big guy?
No, this was the guy who peeled off and attacked me.
So he's gonna take nine from my first attack on.
This would have been on segment one, by the way.
It's dead.
So hold on.
Because that would have been my two attacks this round, because
I remember we did one last round.
That was my one attack.
Because that's why I was wondering why you were rolling.
So I didn't take the damage and I stabbed him to death.
Okay.
Big guy hit AC three.
SPEAKER_01: Does not hit.
Does not hit.
And that was your first attack.
Correct.
Right.
So you're in roll.
Whoosh.
You missed.
SPEAKER_00: Swing and a miss.
I hit an AC seven.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02: That missed.
And make your second attack.
And I'll make my second attack as well.
Missed.
This will be the big guy?
Yep.
No, armor class five.
Damn it! That was a very ineffective round.
I killed somebody.
Yeah.
I did nine points of damage to the big guy.
You did.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, initiative.
SPEAKER_02: Man, we'll lose it up to.
SPEAKER_01: Bad guys go on three.
What do we go on?
SPEAKER_02: I didn't roll.
It's your turn to roll.
Oh, I thought you were.
I picked it up and rolled for no round one at all.
Alright.
So we go first.
This is one attack round, so.
Here, I'll miss.
Go ahead.
Yep.
Roll two.
What about you, Doc?
I AC4.
Missed.
Alright, I'm stabbing the big guy.
God, like this is just a slog.
Two.
SPEAKER_01: What in the hell?
God.
This thing has one hit point.
SPEAKER_02: Can you please blind all of us again?
Because we did much better.
Theorem.
You can do it.
The dice have betrayed us.
No, no, I can't.
A five.
It's a major melee.
What do you expect?
SPEAKER_01: I need to remember what just happened.
SPEAKER_02: They're dancing.
SPEAKER_01: Everybody misses.
So all four of you missed.
Everybody's to believe.
On Theorin.
That was a good thing.
No, hold on.
SPEAKER_02: That was a single attack round.
SPEAKER_01: It was a single attack round.
Yeah, it was.
SPEAKER_02: Three points of damage.
Ooh, that's gotta be whittling you down.
Are you bloody?
He's like, I can't dive this round.
To be fair, you actually can.
He's at that stage where he's got like his hair is sweaty.
There's some blood coming out of his nose, but he's still in
there.
I'm pretty rough myself right now.
We're all in a bad place.
SPEAKER_01: Big guy on Reyes hits an armor class of five,
which I'm pretty sure doesn't hit you.
SPEAKER_02: They lack right off your brand new chainmail.
SPEAKER_01: And one on Merrick does not hit the one on Pindar.
I killed him.
SPEAKER_02: If I was taller, I'd probably be mincemeat by now.
That was the end of the round.
Because nobody gets two attacks this round.
Correct.
So we're finishing this round.
Jesus Christ.
I know.
SPEAKER_01: And I don't think these are our the I don't think
these are our best episodes.
No.
No.
No, they're not.
SPEAKER_02: No, no.
SPEAKER_01: We all look forward to combat as players.
SPEAKER_02: Not like this.
We're ineffective.
So poor, so bad.
The chaos at first was like it was very dynamic, and now it's
turned into the can somebody roll a damn 15.
Now our dice have betrayed us and left us out to dry.
We're finishing this big thing.
Okay, the last round, they go on three.
We go on whatever.
SPEAKER_00: Wait to call what we're doing first.
Somebody roll initiative.
SPEAKER_02: We're already engaged.
We know what you're doing.
Nine.
They're going first.
But we get two attacks this round.
Let's start two attack rounds.
Okay, so segment one for you two.
Armor class zero.
Armor class two.
We both hit.
You both hit.
So between you, can you do one point?
Seven.
That's nine.
So we couldn't do any.
We needed to do one, and we did 16.
SPEAKER_01: That seems about right.
That's legit.
See, you absolutely gib the the orc chieftain.
Uh we just had to see it.
That's how it was.
God.
Merrick, and Theran.
Make an attack of opportunity.
Oh, he runs something.
Well, the guy 17.
You actually hit a plus four on this.
A seven.
SPEAKER_00: Is that including your pluses?
SPEAKER_01: With a plus four and the rest of your pluses, what
armor class does it hit?
Not enough.
So you still missed, in other words.
Like a nine.
Alright, Theron, roll your damage.
Nope.
Do it.
Woo! Four! You crack the fleeing orc over the top of the head and
it falls senseless to the ground.
It's gonna regret running away for the rest of Oh, never mind.
But it can go to Valhalla proud.
Or it sliced you up good.
SPEAKER_00: Stinger taking hit after hit.
He takes one and dies.
SPEAKER_01: Two.
SPEAKER_00: I only hit him once.
SPEAKER_02: You hit him at the beginning of the door.
The other orc runs to the door and opens it.
The big door?
Yeah.
Okay.
Where the priest went out.
Yeah.
And then he closes the door.
And then the worm comes through.
SPEAKER_01: And then you see the purple glow for a moment, and
the orc flees through into the other room.
SPEAKER_02: We should take a rest right here.
There's no such thing as resting.
We either leave the dungeon.
Damn it.
Barricade door.
We're gonna rest.
We can rest here.
Not gonna do a damn bit of good.
SPEAKER_01: Nope.
And we'll find out what happens next on the next episode of
Retro Rollcast.