OSRIC, Shadows of the Pale Ep15
###Link to map###
https://www.instagram.com/p/DdmeHHvJ4NE/?stkn=MXV4d3ptcnBjeGlwdA==
***The players did not ignore the treasure this time!*** after a brief painful struggle against a trap, the characters finally get a rest, plan and get ready to confront the other dangers of the Phostwood...
Shadows of the Pale is our house written Season 4 OSRIC mini(?) campaign where we play the amazing third edition of the OSRIC rule set. (retroclone of the first advanced edition of the worlds most well known role playing game, available through Mythmere games, or free pdf from DrivethruRPG) This story is set in the fabled World of Greyhawk fantasy setting, on the border between the Duchy of Tenh and the Theocracy of the Pale; and features wilderness exploration, a tense political backdrop, and the creeping long arm of the ominous Empire of Iuz...
Featuring:
Bryan (AKA Doc) as Reyes Monin, fighter, displaced noble, straight ahead action enthusiast, likes being big, seeker of treasure and XP.
Rodney as Pindar, Fighter/mage, pureblooded half-elf, second rank spear wielder, deviser of many plans, knower of moon phases.
Shawn M as Merrick Thornleaf, Fighter/thief, Halfling, scout, Agent provocateur against The Pale, devils advocate, roller of ones.
John A as Theron, Elven Mage, mule owner, onetime seeker of Gelatinous Groundhogs, puts a big C on his CG alignment.
Eric as Edric, Human Cleric. either does not know or will not disclose his favored diety, reluctant yet ineffective healer, often the first into the fray.
Shawn G as GM, deviser of plots that might be deadly if he rolled better in combat, awkward NPC portrayer. Edits and produces whatever this is.
Please visit our sponsor, and publisher of OSRIC, other wonderful RPGs and The Tome of Adventure Design, Mythmere Games!
www.mythmeregames.com
sign up to be notified of their new Backerkit campaign for the World of Jordoba!
https://www.backerkit.com/c/projects/mythmere-games/the-world-of-jordoba/pre-launch
#ad&d #Osric #OSR #ttrpg #actualplay #rpg #Dnd #oldschoolrpg #tabletoprpg #retrogaming #greyhawk
1 SPEAKER_02: On this episode of Retro Rollcast.
Well, the skull is in combat with Firin right now.
So you can take a second shot if you wish.
SPEAKER_03: A thing?
If it's an inanimate object?
He's still there swinging at it.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, he's in the front of the little skull.
But but it's not like the skull's gonna move.
SPEAKER_02: Eventually.
No.
But he might jump in front of the arrow if he fires at me.
SPEAKER_06: He probably would.
That's fair.
Or I might just shoot him.
He's kind of fucking annoyed.
SPEAKER_02: Either way, it's good, right?
Win-win.
Strike against chaos in either event.
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Retro Rocast.
We have gathered, despite all of our hype, that I hype that I
gave the last couple of episodes about us moving back into the
Attic of Doom, we are still at Lazarus Games.
SPEAKER_06: They finally know who we are and what we do.
They may be listening.
Just one more person.
I thought somebody was supposed to mention this to them.
SPEAKER_04: Dude, I even put the podcast name on our
reservations.
That's why he's not in charge of anything.
SPEAKER_02: Look, I don't want to add, because we can't put
this out public that we're saying the people that we game
at don't even know of our existence.
It's not helpful for our brand.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but our listeners would laugh at that.
Yeah.
If they like our sense of humor, that would be funny too.
I mean, that's true.
SPEAKER_02: That's not true because we talked with them for
a long time about it.
SPEAKER_01: We had a podcast.
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure they knew and then they freaked out.
There's at least three employees that know who we are.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, we we're not known by the entire state.
SPEAKER_02: And they all listen.
But once again, uh LazarusGames.com, you can check
them out, but they're not sponsoring us.
Check out their eBay.
And they carry rubber dice.
SPEAKER_06: And they do have rubber dice.
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, we'll get into that in just a little
bit.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Because Sean has made a purchase from Lazarus
Games.
Grudgingly.
Good purchase.
But we're gonna cycle that till later in the podcast because we
need to talk about the company that is sponsoring us, which is
Myth Mere Games.
Myth Mere Games makes Osric the game we are playing, which is
the third version of Osric.
Yes.
Since they came out with it in the mid-90s.
And it is a faithful readaptation of first edition
ADD written by Stuart Marshall and Matt Finch in a much more
cohesive and readable style than the original.
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
If you want to go back to DD Roots, this is the game you need
to play.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
If you're out there, I mean the Gygax A D D books are weirdly
like a like a foundational book in my entire life.
So I look back at them with fondness because I remember
reading all that crap and his weird opinions on everything.
But those books did not do an incredible job of explaining the
game that it was supposed to be explaining.
SPEAKER_05: Or having any kind of continuity.
Yeah, there was a lot of page flipping.
Yeah.
A lot of page flipping.
SPEAKER_02: So in my mind, Mythmere and Stuart and Matt
have done a great job in taking these rules and making it
coherent, modernizing the approach.
Susie does a great job in the layouts of the books.
SPEAKER_05: She's the real star.
SPEAKER_02: She is because the the layouts of these books are.
I mean, there are other modern companies like say the second
edition of Pathfinder, when they came out with the red block
layouts.
I was like, my brain couldn't process that book.
But when the whole industry looking across and you're all
like looking at me like, dude, you're an idiot.
And I know that we're going to be able to do it.
SPEAKER_05: To be fair, I look at you like that 90%.
But the rest of the industry can take a lesson from Osric.
The landscape version of the books are absolutely bomb.
SPEAKER_04: And when they announced it on their kitchen.
You gotta stop that Gen Z talk.
Yeah, dude.
I work with them all day.
SPEAKER_02: The bomb is millennial talk.
No, that's nobody said.
SPEAKER_04: Oh, kill me now.
We all love this game.
They're a lit fam.
SPEAKER_02: But when they announced the landscape books
for the Kickstarter, it was very controversial because a lot of
people were like, I don't want that.
I want regular books.
I want them to fit on my shelf, which that's a fair point
because these stick out.
So you have to get it.
Yet another way to get notice.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06: You need bigger shelves.
SPEAKER_02: But as far as something to have at the table,
the landscape versions are great.
SPEAKER_05: You can also double as a DM screen.
SPEAKER_02: And you can get those on mythmeergames.com,
along with Swords and Wizardry, along with the Tome of Adventure
Design, along with the world-building books, some PDFs
of Noxpel magazine that was put out quite a few years ago, and
all sorts of other good stuff.
So go check them out.
Also, they have a I believe I said last time that it would be
yes, Backer Kit.
SPEAKER_05: It's not Kickstarter, it's Backer Kit.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
They have a crowdfunding campaign that is launching soon
for their world of Jordoba, which I believe I both
mispronounced last time and also mentioned that it would probably
be in full swing by the time you heard the last episode, but it
was not.
It may have gotten pushed back a week or so.
SPEAKER_04: But John is a little premature.
SPEAKER_02: Hit the link in the show notes.
Let's look.
Give them your support.
Lots of Conanny Sword and Sorcery goodness coming with
that campaign setting for Swords and Wizry, for Osric, and for
any fantasy role-playing game.
SPEAKER_04: It is setting agnostic or system agnostic.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: Excellent.
And go check them out on uh Instagram.
I know they're there.
SPEAKER_02: So back to the guys here at the table.
Joining us once again, out of the kindness of his heart, is
Eric on my left-hand side.
Eric.
Hello.
Did you listen to the abuse and slander that we directed?
SPEAKER_01: Was the last episode out?
I didn't have to.
I was here.
I was just out of it.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, sure, you were right.
Yes, I did.
He was as here as his deity was.
SPEAKER_01: They did a fine job.
They chewed everyone away and caused the cave in, and she's
good.
Okay.
So you so you're more to- We didn't cause the cave.
You're probably more up to date than the people who were here.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, thank you for reminding me.
SPEAKER_01: But I'm ready to heal.
That's good.
SPEAKER_04: I will put you to work.
Well, you used one healing spell last time.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Because your character sheet was here.
Was it?
SPEAKER_04: No.
Yes.
Yes.
In spirit.
Wait a second.
It was as here as it was that day when it wasn't.
SPEAKER_01: Was it the first day of the adventure you forgot his
character?
No.
Anyway.
You're lucky I had it, so we didn't cheat or anything.
You got a backup now.
I'm good.
All right.
So who's my backup?
SPEAKER_02: So our cleric.
And actually, I should mention before we move along, I think
like five episodes ago, you announced to us that you were
ready to disclose your daisy.
That's not what I said.
Yes, he said he picked one.
SPEAKER_01: I unfortunately, due to my action.
We as players don't even know who it is.
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
I know who it is.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we guessed your that's the funny mystery of
it.
I had four adventures ago, laid out a clue.
No one's noticed it yet.
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04: So wait, hold on, hold on.
Let me stop you for a second there.
Obviously, you have never jammed a game of D where you give your
players a clue because you need to hammer them with like five or
six obvious clues so that they can pick up on one of them.
One of them.
Two words for you.
River ochres.
River ogres.
So if you have not, if you dropped one subtle clue, no way
anybody here got it.
SPEAKER_06: We're dudes, by the way.
But if you improvise like when you're in the gives you subtle
clues on shit and you don't clue into it, it's exactly like that,
but compounded by six here.
SPEAKER_02: When you were younger, the girl that was
hitting on you, and you didn't realize that until five months
later when you were taking a shower.
Oh man.
God damn it.
She was into me so.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we all have those those memories, those
regrets.
SPEAKER_02: It's probably if you were watching it like from a
camera, you would realize you would have seen instantly.
You're like, oh my god, this is so obvious.
But wait, if the moment in person, don't recognize it.
SPEAKER_04: Wait, are we talking about clues or clues?
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
We're on the case.
Oooze?
SPEAKER_04: Ooze?
Clues clues.
SPEAKER_06: Blues clues.
Oh no.
Dude, now I'm de ring.
Did you say ooze clues?
SPEAKER_02: All right.
We're moving on from us clues.
SPEAKER_06: You just got a spell scroll.
SPEAKER_05: That's talking about it.
SPEAKER_02: You just got a spell scroll.
What do you see, Blue?
To our favorite second rank half elven fighter maid.
Pindar, right.
SPEAKER_04: Pindar's fine.
After last combat, I have mentioned this.
You probably shouldn't.
If you're a player, mention it at your table to your GM.
But two extreme combats in a row.
Pindar was completely uninjured by any.
Oh, that shit's got to change.
SPEAKER_06: Then it's been working as intended.
SPEAKER_04: Right?
SPEAKER_01: I attacked Pindar.
SPEAKER_04: The cowardly half elf.
Nobody can read that document.
Sir Pindar.
He bravely read away.
Hey, Sir Pindar is way braver than our halfling, I would like
to point out.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
I was about to say, moving on and speaking of people who snipe
from the darkness.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
SPEAKER_02: Including the both in the game and in real life.
SPEAKER_05: If you were three feet tall, what would you do?
SPEAKER_02: Sniper from the darkness.
SPEAKER_05: Sniper, no sniping.
SPEAKER_02: Sean, how is Merrick Thornleaf feeling today?
SPEAKER_05: Merrick's feeling alright.
He actually took some damage in that combat, unlike some people,
because he did stand toe-to-toe.
SPEAKER_04: Apparently, you haven't listened to the episode.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't remember the toe-to-toe part.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah?
I think the implication is that other people didn't, which means
he didn't listen.
Because he would have, if he was listening, he would have
realized that Pindar was in toe-to-toe combat long before he
was stabbing people who were blinded.
So brave.
SPEAKER_02: We'll cycle around to that point in a minute.
More importantly, moving on the table.
SPEAKER_05: Captain Mouseweb.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, is there still grass?
John, how's it going today?
SPEAKER_05: I think that was in the room that collapsed.
SPEAKER_02: Did you bring snacks for the group?
Yes, I did.
Okay, what's happened?
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04: I'm scared.
SPEAKER_05: Like candy corn.
No, I don't.
Like candy corn.
Could you like to be a good one?
We're like a 10-year-old man's body.
Be careful, Eric.
Yeah, Sean's fan.
Don't get funny.
SPEAKER_02: Sean's a candy corn job, too.
I don't buy candy corn anymore.
I was gonna say, how's that crack dude doing, bro?
SPEAKER_04: Candy corn is just pure sugar, right?
Jesus Christ.
So Sean's getting the candy corn sugar.
Last night he was eating key lime pie.
You mean this type of pie?
SPEAKER_01: The diabetics are eating the candy corn.
I was gonna say only two people took some and they're both
diabetic.
SPEAKER_02: What the fuck?
I didn't get diabetes from nothing.
We had to work at it.
Jimmy.
Nobody always nobody ever needs 10 to 2.
Mama never raised a quitter.
But thankfully, thanks, John, for bringing the candy corn.
It is the season for that.
Could have brought that.
Actually, it is early, to be honest.
It should be October.
It's not a chance.
Moving along.
I like the fertility festival.
Reyes.
I'm a fan.
I don't know how close you were to death twice.
It was slow episode.
It was close.
But if you had failed either of those two saving those, Reyes
would not be drawing breath right now.
No, Reyes.
SPEAKER_06: I was bloody through most of the combat.
And since the cleric ran away, I'm a little disgruntled.
You were toe-to-toe.
I was toe-to-toe with everything.
SPEAKER_01: I see.
SPEAKER_06: And that's the way it's supposed to work.
Fighter with the hit points in front.
SPEAKER_01: Taylor, right there.
SPEAKER_04: You have taken enough hit points to kill a
rhinoceros.
At least rhinoceros, even.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
There is a debate in the in the old school renaissance community
about whether is combat a fail state.
A fail-safe state?
A fail safe state.
Oh.
Meaning if you're in combat, you've done something wrong.
SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
No.
Doc doesn't believe in that.
No, I don't believe that either.
SPEAKER_06: My whole my class has the word fight in it.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fight turn.
SPEAKER_06: So it's like the main theme.
SPEAKER_02: Five E is very fight focused.
It's also very hard to die in five E.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
It's fair, fair.
SPEAKER_02: So if you're in combat in games like this, you
are courting death.
SPEAKER_04: You are yeah, I agree with that.
But look, the reason we were entered combat is because we had
a specific objective.
We didn't just enter combat to fight something.
We had a very specific goal.
And we accomplished that goal by rescuing the humans, though I
believe there were only five of them at the end of the combat.
Whatever.
And disrupting whatever nefarious plans from Varkos and
Ellisor.
There were more than five.
SPEAKER_02: There were five that helped the dwarf.
SPEAKER_04: So we're more heroic than we thought.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
I'm not making a judgment of how heroic you are.
SPEAKER_04: I feel very heroic.
Me too.
This one goes to eleven.
So how many lives did we save?
Give me a really big number.
At least twelve.
Fifteen.
SPEAKER_02: Five.
There's fourteen miners and a dwarf here.
Well, I feel better than that.
Whether you saved them, that's up to Eric's God to see.
SPEAKER_06: Are they good?
Then how many villagers are hiding?
SPEAKER_02: Casulia doesn't care.
Oh yeah, outside there's a bunch.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there was like 15 to 20 out there.
SPEAKER_06: So we're like 30 lives saved here, essentially.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
We have saved the lives of 30 of your future subjects.
SPEAKER_06: I don't refer to them as subjects, more of
citizens.
SPEAKER_04: Citizens of Republic Reyes.
Of the Reyes Republic.
Reedonia.
SPEAKER_06: Oh, you mean Reidonia?
Democratic Republic of Reyes.
It's a dictatorship.
unknown: Shh.
SPEAKER_01: It is.
Democratic Republic Republicans.
The people's republic.
Yeah, the people's republic wink.
SPEAKER_04: But to be fair, we still have on the top of the
map, we don't know anything about what may have what was the
ogre mage's name?
Belknack.
Yes.
He could still be up there with the younger brother Grosik?
The younger brother's dead.
No, the older brother's dead.
We have an ogre mage and at least one hill giant.
SPEAKER_01: We killed the younger, didn't we?
SPEAKER_04: We killed the older.
So anyway, either way, there's a giant left and an ogre mage
potentially.
So and a cleric and a summoner.
But they're all stuck behind tons of rock that fell in upon
their ceremonial, like whatever.
So they can still attack whatever it is they wanted to
attack.
Correct.
Right.
But we don't have to.
We have no idea where that tunnel leads, and I don't know
that we're going to find out.
But we did find a door in the ground, and we need the rest.
Most certainly right like now.
Now.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06: What's the point?
Because I have one potion healing and 20 some hit points.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: He has no spells.
SPEAKER_01: I have invisibility and 10 hit points.
SPEAKER_04: I have invisibility as well.
And I also have spider climb.
So which is not going to do me much good right now.
SPEAKER_01: Alright, one healing spell.
SPEAKER_04: I'm beginning to think spider climb is never
going to do me any good.
You should probably get rid of it.
SPEAKER_02: Well, to be to be fair, at least there's a ceiling
here.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
You should use it now before we rest.
Just to practice.
Just to climb.
You do it, it'll make you a little bit more.
SPEAKER_06: When we stop, you will gain some experience.
Didn't we stop right when we found a secret door?
SPEAKER_01: We did.
SPEAKER_06: You found the secret door.
SPEAKER_02: You should have just uncovered the thin mortar
covering over a thin two foot by five foot door leaning it
leading into a darkened room.
SPEAKER_04: And did we might as well explore it first and then
rest?
I guess so.
We could have a lantern.
It's been lit.
SPEAKER_01: Dark.
What's going to hide in the dark?
Yeah.
Nothing.
Could purple worms are.
SPEAKER_04: It'll have a light on it.
Not in a two-foot by five-foot passage.
No.
SPEAKER_06: You act like they need five by five-foot passage.
SPEAKER_04: And look.
None of our characters know a damn thing about purple worms.
I know.
We've heard the worms.
Let's leave it at the end.
We will cover your back.
Go search out this thing here and see where if it leads
anywhere.
It's not used.
It's clearly not used.
I don't even think the bad guys knew about it.
Give me that rock.
What rock?
The light rock.
SPEAKER_05: The light rock.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Who was the rock?
I'll end you my rock.
SPEAKER_04: The continual light rock.
SPEAKER_01: Ah.
SPEAKER_04: You cast enough continual lights that wouldn't
that have gone out by now?
I'm going to put it in a pouch.
No, you can only have so many going at once.
SPEAKER_02: Let's not digress into how many continual lights
he has.
SPEAKER_05: I'm making a continual light rock flashlight
using a belt pouch.
SPEAKER_02: Open the door.
All right.
Classic ADD maneuver.
So you put the continual light rock in your pouch.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Staring at the darkened opening, which I
describe as very small, but it's very large for your character.
Yeah.
You might have to go through the two-foot part with sideways to
get in.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, probably.
I'm a halfling dude.
Second breakfast is real.
It's real.
Two feet.
unknown: Yeah?
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
I don't need to say anymore.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Two feet in the passage.
Give him a little nudge with my heel.
SPEAKER_01: Get in.
SPEAKER_02: I'm sneaking in.
So you uh go in through the there's like what's about ten
inches the opening of rock, and then there's darkness beyond.
Letting your are you gonna let your eyes uh your infra vision
adjust first?
So you let your eyes adjust to the infravision, and the dim
outlines of a small room come into view.
There is it looks like in the corner there are two braziers
that are not lit.
And in the center there is a very large box.
Any heat sources?
On top of that box is a shelf, and on top of that shelf is a
skull, and in front of the shelf is a uh metal platter of some
sort.
Okay, this is terrible.
SPEAKER_05: Are any of them emanating heat?
SPEAKER_02: None of them are emanating heat.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
Well, you don't have infra vision isn't heat, you're just
seeing it.
Yeah, it is infrared.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it's infravision is it's literally it's heat vision.
Right.
SPEAKER_05: So now that I've determined I don't think there
are any life forms in here, I'm gonna open up the pouch, take
the rock out so I can see everything.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
And the uh the the cold white light bathes the room.
And you can see that the the room is constructed much like
the rest of the rough hewn walls with timbers and supports
holding holding the ceilings up.
And the the box in the center looks like a large chest, and on
top of it is a wooden shelf with a large skull on top of it.
You don't think it's a human skull?
SPEAKER_03: You don't know what a shrine to use probably.
SPEAKER_02: There's a there's a golden platter.
Oh is there coins in the platter?
It's uh you're not you haven't entered the room, you're seeing
it from the entrance.
SPEAKER_05: Okay, we'll do it.
I'm gonna check for traps around the entrance and on the floor.
SPEAKER_02: Around the entrance.
Okay.
Alright, what is your trap checking ability?
SPEAKER_01: Do I have such things?
SPEAKER_04: No, no.
Thief skills.
Right.
I don't know.
Do you worship a thiefly god?
SPEAKER_02: You give the entrance way a once over.
You think you did it very well.
SPEAKER_04: Of course I did, which means you failed
spectacularly.
We'll see.
But you don't find any traps.
Alright.
Then I'm gonna move in towards the chest.
SPEAKER_02: So you take your first few timid steps towards
the chest looking around the whole time.
As you step into the room, the eyes and the skull glow bright
red.
SPEAKER_01: Wish I could see this.
SPEAKER_02: Or you can actually in the door, we're probably over
his shoulder.
He's not that tall.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
I'm only three foot six.
So yeah, you can see the eyes.
Yeah.
Well, we see the glow.
SPEAKER_02: We don't see the eyes necessarily because it's so
you you you've taken two steps, the one the uh the eyes go solid
red.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'm gonna move around the wall.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: To the left.
Just kinda tapping the floor, checking for traps, looking for
SPEAKER_02: Closer you're getting to the thing.
Is it a lich?
unknown: Do it.
SPEAKER_02: How much space do I actually have?
Like between the room is about 15 feet wide and it's in the
middle.
SPEAKER_03: And it's in the middle.
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna stick within like well, I'd say it's
towards the it's towards the back end.
It's like maybe a third of the way.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I'll check like the U-shaped area I can get
to without getting too close to the thing.
SPEAKER_02: How close is too close?
SPEAKER_04: Five feet?
Is the is the skull facing the door area?
Yeah, it's not facing away.
It's facing you.
I think he's gonna die.
He's rolling a lot of dice.
SPEAKER_02: Gonna gain power.
I'm rolling for his traps, check.
Which I'm sure I fail.
You don't see any traps.
But as you get within ten feet of the thing.
SPEAKER_06: Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Roll initiative.
SPEAKER_06: Motherfucker.
SPEAKER_02: Initiative.
It's just a skull.
SPEAKER_06: Shut the door.
This is obviously too powerful for a four.
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
Animated barbed chains fly out of the ceiling and strike at
you.
SPEAKER_06: Oh my god, Hellraiser.
SPEAKER_02: Great movies.
SPEAKER_06: And that you're flayed alive.
SPEAKER_02: That hits armored glass minus one, and the other
one does not hit.
Oh shit, I forgot to get a pencil out.
SPEAKER_01: We will show you such sights.
SPEAKER_03: And that does.
I just watched that movie not too long ago.
SPEAKER_02: All of them.
Does two hit points of damage make a save versus paralysis?
SPEAKER_01: No.
There's more.
Is there?
I think so.
SPEAKER_04: There's a lot.
SPEAKER_01: Hulu did something.
SPEAKER_04: Save versus paralysis.
Let these new dice, let's see what they got here.
Let's see what this rubber D20 has.
Oh that would be a failure.
It's an eight.
SPEAKER_01: I see a six.
So there's chains with paralysis.
Okay.
SPEAKER_05: That fails every saving throw I have, by the way.
SPEAKER_02: It's just a so you take the two points of damage,
the chains wrap themselves very tightly around you, and they
begin pulling you towards the ceiling.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, we should just shut the door and leave it.
SPEAKER_02: I'm in a real dilemma on what I should do
about this.
SPEAKER_01: Actions for round two.
We need to get out of here.
SPEAKER_05: This is too much.
I'm struggling to free myself and yelling, help, help, help,
help, help.
SPEAKER_04: Man, this is real tough.
I don't actually have any idea what I could do against this.
SPEAKER_02: All right, well, actions.
SPEAKER_01: Eric.
SPEAKER_04: Break these chains of love.
SPEAKER_01: I'm running in and attacking.
I mean he's held right there in the chain.
The chains.
Okay.
Crus the skull.
Whatever is controlling the chain.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Pindar.
SPEAKER_04: I do nothing.
Useful as usual.
SPEAKER_02: That is not the best way of saying uninjured.
That is not too.
SPEAKER_04: I'm just trying to figure out.
I don't want to belabor my inability to think of what I
could do in this situation.
SPEAKER_02: So I'm going to yell.
Help crush the skull.
Help.
You're yelling, help crush the skull.
SPEAKER_00: I'm heading for the skull with my staff.
SPEAKER_05: Alright.
I got an idea.
I'm going to tell you.
Okay.
And Brayus.
Do I get a save to get out of the chains or anything, or am I
just stuck?
You got one.
Yeah, you failed it.
So there's no, okay.
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
SPEAKER_03: I'm uh.
SPEAKER_01: And you failed.
Yeah.
Just talk about painting.
SPEAKER_06: I am.
Oh shit.
I'm going to shoot at the skull with my bow.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
I'd like to change my results.
All right, roll initiative.
SPEAKER_04: Somebody rolled a four already, didn't they?
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
That was for me, I think, in the surprise round.
Oh.
Five.
I think we'd rather have the four.
SPEAKER_04: I think it is going to be a good one.
Yeah, that was practice.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we weren't asking.
SPEAKER_04: I was warming my dice up.
It's a five.
Are you practicing two?
No, it was like a one.
SPEAKER_01: It's a six, I think.
No, it's not.
SPEAKER_04: Those dice are garbage.
Those things are shit.
SPEAKER_01: It is a six.
Make up whatever you want.
SPEAKER_04: It's funny.
SPEAKER_05: We always bitch about our dice.
Is it the dice?
So what were you doing, Doc?
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Shooting the shoot on segment one.
SPEAKER_06: That's probably gonna hit yeah, 19 AC negative
three.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
That's a negative four.
SPEAKER_06: The object is to dislodge the skull.
I don't know.
I would shoot smashing it into small pieces.
SPEAKER_04: So that was six.
But it's a bone, so it probably takes one point of damage.
It's magic bone.
It's a magic bone.
SPEAKER_06: Like skeletons.
SPEAKER_02: Are you adding the damage for your yes?
SPEAKER_06: Because I am specialized in my boat long bow.
Okay.
Oh, snap.
SPEAKER_02: I didn't think specialization added damage.
I thought it was.
SPEAKER_04: Plus one, plus two.
It doesn't specify actually if you if it bow or not.
It doesn't say it doesn't.
Let's look.
Okay.
No, no.
No, we don't need to look.
We already looked.
We're doing it.
I've looked.
SPEAKER_05: We've already looked.
SPEAKER_00: We all know.
Doc and I'm taking it to the pages.
SPEAKER_05: The Jerduba backer kit starts in ten days.
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
SPEAKER_05: So September 22nd.
SPEAKER_04: Kinda.
I thought so.
All right.
We're in the middle of combat.
Okay, yeah.
Let's do that.
Was anybody else on war?
Oh, that was one.
SPEAKER_02: I shot the on segment three.
You are dragged with very high velocity towards the ceiling.
Sweet.
No! And there's a sickening crunch.
SPEAKER_05: I use the hair on my feet to grab the stone floor.
For six points of damage.
Oh, that's not good.
Halfling needs food badly.
SPEAKER_01: Badly.
SPEAKER_05: I have six hit points left.
I mean to start with.
SPEAKER_02: It's you guys' action.
So Eric, you and Theran were both rushing into the room.
Yes.
So who's going first?
SPEAKER_01: He was heading for the chains, unfortunately.
Can I reach the chains now?
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so you rush into the room.
SPEAKER_01: I rush in.
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02: And the chain swings at you.
Of course.
The remaining chains.
Of course.
And that will hit an armor class of four.
Not me.
Okay, so that that misses you.
And go ahead and duck.
What were you gonna do?
SPEAKER_01: I take out a piece of candy cane, eat it, and oh
sorry, corn, candy corn.
And I swing at the chain that attacked me.
You're swinging at the chain.
Okay.
Unfortunately.
You're attacking a chain.
I am.
I said it.
Do it, do it.
Not the halfling.
Sounds useful.
Five, which will hit nothing.
13.
So he runs into the room, flails wild chained off.
You know you said skull, it made sense, but it was But why would
I follow that?
Well, he'd already declared he'd go after the chain.
SPEAKER_02: So Theorem, you rush into the room second.
SPEAKER_01: Attack that chain.
And what are you doing?
SPEAKER_02: The power gold melee fighting.
So you were attacking the skull.
SPEAKER_04: That staff is dynamite.
The chains are all occupied now, yes.
SPEAKER_01: Wand of wonder.
16.
That might actually hit.
SPEAKER_04: Probably.
Might even be armor class five or something.
Three.
Four.
Okay.
That hits.
Yeah.
Now, is that a chain or a skull?
SPEAKER_02: He's really good at inanimate objects.
Yeah.
Skulls are just sitting there.
SPEAKER_04: Nice.
SPEAKER_02: 1D6.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, 1D6.
Can knock that skull right off the door.
SPEAKER_02: This is not a 1D eight staff.
No.
No, that was my dagger.
SPEAKER_01: For four.
Okay.
Skull shatters.
SPEAKER_02: Here you're sitting.
You chip a piece off of the skull.
Does it not chip?
Yes, it's front tooth.
I want its front tooth.
It doesn't move.
It stays put.
It stays put.
It's a Charsey skull.
Is it bloody?
Did my arrow do anything to it?
It might have, yeah, I mean, it just okay, it hit, but I didn't
notice anything.
SPEAKER_04: It made the curve member not very effective.
It went thawed.
SPEAKER_01: All right, next round actions.
Shove my staff in its eyeball.
SPEAKER_04: Is there uh so these chains are just swinging from
the ceiling like wildly?
Yep.
And he's just like an anchor point on the ceiling.
And he's just being wrapped up in one and swung around, right?
SPEAKER_02: So I can't he's been dragged into the ceiling.
SPEAKER_04: So he's being crushed against it.
Correct.
Can I do anything?
SPEAKER_01: Worm.
SPEAKER_02: Yell.
You can cry attack with a penalty at the chain.
SPEAKER_04: Can I quaff a potion?
You can quaff about 96.
Make him no, make him make a pickpocket check.
Because he wants to take his potion of gaseous form.
Shh.
Man, that's a very thiefly thing.
SPEAKER_02: What am I rolling?
Your pickpocket check.
60%.
You've played this game for a long time.
SPEAKER_04: Does he?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: The evidence is not overwhelming.
No.
67.
67.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: So you can't quite get your arm out of the new dice
are not serving me well.
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a potion.
SPEAKER_04: I don't think it's the dice.
You haven't even stuck with one of your sets yet.
You're just randomly picking up one of your two new sets.
Okay.
Well, this one is a little bit.
How tall are the ceilings?
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you actually get a second shot.
Well, the skull is in combat with Firin right now.
So you can take a second shot if you wish.
SPEAKER_03: A thing?
If it's an inanimate object.
He's still there swinging at it.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, he's in the front of the little skull.
It's not like the skull's gonna move.
SPEAKER_02: Eventually.
No.
But he might jump in front of the arrow if he fires it.
SPEAKER_06: He probably would.
That's fair.
Or I might just shoot him.
He's trying to fucking annoy.
SPEAKER_02: Either way, it's good, right?
Win-win.
Strike against chaos in either event.
Yes.
I would get a wall of wonders.
SPEAKER_01: And yell my magic word.
SPEAKER_06: Oh god.
SPEAKER_01: Chuka Two.
SPEAKER_06: Pikachu.
Or what are you doing?
I am going to bash the skull with my Warhammer.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and the following.
SPEAKER_04: I'm going to continue to try and take a
potion of gaseous form.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
Theorem.
SPEAKER_04: Away.
There was a bed in the room we're in, right?
Yes.
I go to the bed and I'm just on brand.
I go lay in the bed, put my feet up.
No, I go grab, I go grab like the top two blankets off of the
thing.
I'm going to try and like tangle up the chain that the cleric is
fighting in the blankets.
SPEAKER_01: All right.
Okay.
SPEAKER_04: I was thinking throw it over the skull, but I'm going
to realize it's a better option to attack the colour.
SPEAKER_01: That's equally valid.
SPEAKER_04: That's pretty smart.
That's price.
SPEAKER_01: I attack the skull.
SPEAKER_02: God damn it.
Okay.
In the dark.
Roll initiated.
I always light in here because he dropped his.
God damn it.
SPEAKER_01: Nine.
unknown: Woo!
SPEAKER_05: Nine six.
Knucklehead.
What is wrong with my we are going last?
This is a nine.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Gentlemen, one segment two.
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
SPEAKER_03: Pushed into the ceiling.
SPEAKER_02: The chains relax and then right back on the line.
Bye, guys.
Nice.
Three points of damage.
Not dead yet.
SPEAKER_01: That nice ranger.
SPEAKER_02: There is a pool of blood underneath me on the
floor.
SPEAKER_01: It rips them apart.
SPEAKER_04: Let's let it go.
Just let it go.
Were you even wounded at the end of the last couple?
A little bit.
SPEAKER_02: So just a little bit.
And continuing to strike.
SPEAKER_03: It's unlike 15 points to me.
SPEAKER_02: The other chain is actually striking at Theron.
What I do.
And that will hit an armor class of eight.
SPEAKER_05: Just being yourself, buddy.
SPEAKER_00: No, I have a 10.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_05: He says it with such conviction, too.
SPEAKER_02: He's not balling.
Chains do three points of damage to you.
Make a save versus paralysis.
SPEAKER_01: No.
That's the same as death endpoints.
SPEAKER_05: That's insane.
Roll higher than that.
SPEAKER_01: So if we get to roll higher in a 14, don't we get a
bonus of night more?
SPEAKER_04: How many hit points do you have right now, Thieran?
SPEAKER_01: He said seven.
SPEAKER_04: Seven.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we gotta fix this problem real quick.
That's one chain smush away from death.
SPEAKER_01: Chain sway.
And he failed.
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01: I thought I had to roll a seven.
SPEAKER_03: This is all no, you have to roll above the number on
your sheet, which is a four chain.
SPEAKER_02: And the the other chain wraps its chainy tendrils
around theorists.
Chainy.
SPEAKER_01: It just gets my legs.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
That's gonna kind of change what I was gonna do.
SPEAKER_01: It's not really a chain.
SPEAKER_04: Well, you're gonna grab a blanket either way.
SPEAKER_02: And I grab the chain while I grab it.
So you run to the bed and grab a purple blanket.
SPEAKER_04: Okay, I grab a purple blanket.
And then I rush into the room and I throw it over the skull
since my my former target.
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's a lot to do in around.
SPEAKER_04: Is it?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a lot.
All right.
Well, I'm rushing in with a blanket.
SPEAKER_04: So you grab the blanket and rush in.
Well, all right.
Well, I was gonna rush in with the bed's in the other room.
I gotcha.
Yeah, well, I was in the other room.
I never left the other room.
All right.
SPEAKER_01: I attack the skull.
Edric.
I roll a 15.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: That hits armor class.
Yeah, that's good.
Three.
Okay, so that hits armor class three.
That does hit roll damage.
SPEAKER_04: You got any holy words to say when you do this?
Maybe, you know.
That's a small thing.
Prayer to your god.
Yapple Dapple.
SPEAKER_01: Yapple.
I need to god right now.
SPEAKER_05: Hannah Barbera is his deity.
SPEAKER_01: So I do two damage, and then I do four.
That's six, seven.
He's healed the skull for eight points.
Oh, this is your morning star.
Yep, yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Seven damage.
Okay, so you you raise up seeing two of your friends in deathly
peril.
You raise up your morning star over your head and you bring it
down directly on top of the skull and it smashes into four
pieces.
The lights on the eyes go out.
There is a like a weird feeling washes over all of you.
Like emanating out from the skull.
It seems like a presence to the left.
And unraveling up at the ceiling, and the chain falls
straight down along with the halfling.
The halfling.
SPEAKER_05: I'm getting ready for it to whack me against the
ceiling again.
And you take six points of falling damage.
SPEAKER_02: And you hit the floor and take two points of
falling damage.
SPEAKER_01: And to be obvious, my morning star on the handle
has a glowing symbol on it.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
Oh, a trifoil Shirukan.
Yes, because everybody knows what that means.
SPEAKER_02: If you know your deities.
SPEAKER_04: No.
So killing the skull did stop the chains, to be fair.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, both the chains unwrapped from Theron.
Theron hadn't been hauled up to the ceiling, so Theuran just
falls to the ground.
All right.
Shake it all.
I go walk over to what the chains are just hanging straight
down, drooping over the over the chest.
Yeah.
The golden platter has been in all of the activity, has been
knocked.
There's a couple dozen gold pieces laying on the dirty
ground around where the chest is.
There's still a chest.
SPEAKER_04: So I walk I walk over and help Merrick up and
say, I think there may have been a trap.
I think you're right.
You missed that one.
Well, silly me, I was checking the floor.
It was in the ceiling.
Excuse.
Right.
And it was in the skull.
And on the floor.
Yeah.
The obvious glowing red light skull.
Well, there were no glowing red lights when I approached it.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, because you stepped on something when you
approached it.
SPEAKER_02: So when you tripped, right?
The lights didn't go on until you came into the room.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it was pretty obvious you didn't.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, pretty obvious.
It was pretty.
SPEAKER_06: Do you need a healing potion?
We have a cleric now.
I have one.
We're gonna rest.
You got a healing potion.
SPEAKER_04: I've already got my blanket ready.
You put the blanket over the half-room blanket.
SPEAKER_01: Yep, there's no saving him.
No.
I saw you grab the blanket and then see a better color
underneath that one and throw it away and grab it, like pink or
something, and then he's dead, Reyes.
SPEAKER_04: What's a healing potion do?
For you, nothing.
You're not taking that healing potion.
We're resting.
He's not gonna heal my hit points.
Yeah, well, it'll be one hit points.
When the cleric gets his magic spec from his god of tri-foil
spikes, then you will get some healing from him.
Yeah, right.
The god of propellers.
Because that's happened so much already.
Rotating propeller blade.
Yes.
That's what it's the trifoil.
It's a Mercedes-Benz symbol without the circle filled in.
Is it Orville or Wilbur that you worship?
I think it's Mercedes-Benz.
SPEAKER_01: So you have the tripart right.
SPEAKER_04: Trihard?
Trihard.
Anyway.
The wrong I versus Y.
SPEAKER_01: Are we staying in this little hovel?
SPEAKER_04: No, but we are in beds, like picking up the coins.
Are we going up to the beds?
That big chest there has open the chest.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's 24 gold coins.
SPEAKER_04: It's got abandoned me written all over it.
SPEAKER_06: If we go by case history, we would think this is
trapped and leave.
SPEAKER_02: It would be completely on-brand.
Well, it 100% is trapped.
The giant capture chest.
We have to leave.
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely trapped, and I have one hit point.
SPEAKER_01: You've already trapped the trap.
SPEAKER_04: You've already fixed it.
It's already done.
You already did your job.
I'll go open the channel.
Very well, I might assume.
I leave the room if anybody's opening the chest.
I'm not a professional thief.
Yeah, that's not a real symbol.
I'm adventurer.
SPEAKER_01: I'm opening the chest.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
I'm getting out of the room before you go.
SPEAKER_01: Just open the chest.
I told you I left the room.
I'm out of the room.
I am just going over and opening the chest.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, the chest opens.
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
And what do I get?
A lot of stuff.
SPEAKER_02: So there are a number of small sacks inside the
chest of a black velvet nature.
There is a lot of silver coins lying in the bottom of the
chest.
SPEAKER_06: All right.
Many.
Somebody writing this down.
One, two.
SPEAKER_02: Black velvet golden necklace laying on top of the
silver coins with like a foresty leaf motif.
That one's a foresty leaf.
And there is a dagger with a black hilt and a skull on the
pommel.
And a mace of similar design.
A black black mace with a skull on the pommel.
Both very well made.
And seeming untarnished.
SPEAKER_04: Well, to be fair, oh boy that just left, wasn't he
wielding a mace?
This must be his backup weapon.
SPEAKER_01: I will take the necklace.
SPEAKER_04: How many sacks were there?
SPEAKER_01: There were two.
And I will open a sack.
SPEAKER_04: Looking for gems?
Jewels.
SPEAKER_02: The heavier of the two sacks has a 210 gold pieces.
SPEAKER_04: Oh wow.
SPEAKER_02: Money.
The other sack has 14 platinum pieces and eight gems.
Wow.
We can go home.
Holy hell, it's actual treasure.
SPEAKER_04: Do we're out?
Do we level?
Yeah, that's not true.
SPEAKER_01: And who opened the chest?
I don't recall.
Also, you gotta do it first.
SPEAKER_02: Whatever, bro.
There is a as you're reaching through the silver, there's a
there's a third sack buried at the bottom.
SPEAKER_05: Another sack and a small prick, you feel a small
prick prick.
SPEAKER_04: I feel a prick on your finger.
Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02: And what's in that?
No, the prick the pricks here are all large.
SPEAKER_01: They're all large.
SPEAKER_04: How many gems?
Uh how much gold was laying on the ground?
You said like 20?
24.
24.
SPEAKER_01: And you got the gold plate.
SPEAKER_04: All right, gold plate.
I'll just write gold plate down.
We don't know what that's worth.
Maybe we just carry this chest out.
Why?
Yeah, why?
Because it's full of stuff.
unknown: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Not anymore.
What was in the buried sack?
SPEAKER_05: It's empty.
We walk in there and argue with that logic.
I give up.
You win.
SPEAKER_04: Done.
Fuck.
You cannot argue with that logic.
Oh my god.
All right.
So there was another sack amongst the bits of silver in
the bottom.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
What's in that?
I'm taking the time.
There's 320 silver pieces.
Okay.
All right.
SPEAKER_04: Six, seven?
Six.
So, all right.
And the sack.
Be careful with this one.
I feel like this one's the one you gotta worry about.
SPEAKER_01: Worry?
The worry sack.
SPEAKER_04: Well, look, like yeah, they steal everything, but
when they get greedy, they get that last sack, they've got all
confident, and they think that they've got it all figured out,
and then that's the sack with the poison spider in it that
kills you.
Oh, what's the point?
Or the cursed amulet.
SPEAKER_00: Let's get the damage.
I take it with him riding around with a sack.
SPEAKER_04: The cleric, he doesn't hear to take any last.
SPEAKER_01: I want the sack.
He's still got his chest wound.
I'm sure you do.
I take a sack and stick it in the wound.
What's in the third sack?
He won't tell us.
Well aren't you looking at secret?
It's 14.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I eat it.
A small vial of liquid.
Oh.
SPEAKER_04: And a scroll.
Oh.
A small vial and a scroll.
Okay.
It's probably a made scroll, and it's probably something chaotic.
Did the evil thing?
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, this was the major scrum.
I would like the evil maze.
SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
SPEAKER_00: I need a nice dagger.
SPEAKER_06: I'll take a look at that dagger.
I'll just say, yeah, give the rogue the dagger.
Are you proficient in this?
Oh no.
Can anyone determine what's going on?
SPEAKER_00: You're not supposed to be fighting in hand to hand
at all.
It's protection in case they get close, or I have another archer.
I want to spend ten turns fighting.
SPEAKER_04: So your fifth level, you should have maybe two
proficiencies by now, right?
Just one?
Staff and dagger.
Just one ever.
SPEAKER_01: We don't get profit weapon for the magic users
didn't.
SPEAKER_06: Yes, you do.
Don't worry about it for now.
You maximum have two weapons you can use.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can use like proficiency, like a bonus unit.
SPEAKER_05: Well, there's proficiency is just the ability
to wield.
Yes.
There's no bonuses for it.
It's just if you don't have proficiency, it's minus four.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
So yes, staff and bow.
Or staff and dagger.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
Yeah, give him the fancy dagger.
Yeah.
I think we had already discussed that.
Yeah, it'd be double.
That's a D e eight dagger, right?
Definitely.
Yes.
That would definitely be.
SPEAKER_06: What do you mean using short swords or bows?
I have bow and short sword and dagger.
SPEAKER_05: I'd take a dagger.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna scroll.
unknown: Never.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it is a clerical scroll.
SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
But given the damage numbers, I use the shortsword for that.
Right.
He's never gonna use it.
SPEAKER_02: What spell?
I'm gonna say scroll of cause fear.
Cause fear.
Woo!
SPEAKER_05: I shall do that.
It's a scroll of I'm a warlock.
That seems to fit your deity pretty well.
SPEAKER_01: You have no idea.
SPEAKER_05: No, I do have an idea.
SPEAKER_01: You don't know him.
He's getting dark over there.
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
You don't know her.
Would you like me to read it off?
SPEAKER_01: No her.
I hardly know her.
That's all right, man.
You'll get him on the next one.
Well, I probably didn't work.
SPEAKER_04: I didn't hear what he said, so you get your next
proficiency at level six.
So you'll never get it.
I don't know.
I have like pictures of all the symbols of all the Greyhawk
deities here, and that's not one of them.
Well, there you go.
That's not cheating or anything.
The La Mystery.
Made up shit.
It's because it's a false deity.
So there was that was everything in this room, right?
There was a couple of, like you said, pillars in the corners or
something.
If I recall, were there pillars or something to that effect?
SPEAKER_02: And as you were going through the last of the
silver coins at the bottom, you you see a uh piece of parchment
that's folded up.
What does it say?
And it appears to be some form of diagram.
You suck.
You mean a map?
SPEAKER_01: I just pass it right along.
Right along to the guy who can read.
SPEAKER_04: Alright.
Pass it right to the guy who can read it.
Well, it is a map.
To bell knack, to bleve.
Well, that's that is not how I spelled it on my character.
Is that on my nose?
Is it a heavy mace or a light mace?
SPEAKER_02: It is a light mace.
So the backpack.
SPEAKER_01: Just tie a rock to it, makes it heavy.
Dude.
Put a we are here on there.
SPEAKER_04: Well, there's all right.
So here is something that looks like a tunnel.
SPEAKER_01: Cross that out, we cave that in.
SPEAKER_04: Well, I don't even know if that's really it, right?
And these X's, I'm not sure what they are, but they could be
bridges.
But also they could be hey, have something here.
Big pig.
Big pig, right.
There's big pig.
Whatever that means.
Sounds like a tavern to me.
Scary.
So there's girlfriend.
This could be a river.
I think this is a river.
Or practice.
I could be wrong, right?
And then and this to me, and the only thing I think is a bigger
river, right?
So this is probably the Yole River.
Just look at all like cold water area.
And here's a village, and here's a village, and then this looks
like looks like a road, but I don't think it's this road, even
though it could be kind of like that, right?
If we orient it like this, you see where we get a little bit of
uh little bit of matching up that way.
SPEAKER_01: A little bit.
SPEAKER_04: So it says two here's some hills.
This line right here is probably the edge of the forest, right?
Think that's the edge of the forest here.
No, maybe not everybody can see.
Certainly, none of the listeners can see.
SPEAKER_02: Listeners, look up.
Rodney is currently holding a picture of it and put it on the
road.
SPEAKER_04: We'll have to put it on Instagram.
So I think this village here is Cold River, right?
You see Village Cold River?
It just doesn't have a name, it just says village.
Comparing two maps side by side, one's hand drawn, one's
something pretty.
SPEAKER_02: Well, Cold River is on the other side of the river.
SPEAKER_04: This map is written by who knows?
Right.
And look, we're all speculating.
For all we know, it's this way.
Yeah.
And this village is Garson, and this village is Bells Barrow on
this side.
Well, if they're rotating.
There's a Y in the room.
Just keep rotating it.
We're sure to get there eventually.
SPEAKER_01: Flip it up so I can probably not even matching up.
SPEAKER_04: This is the river, right?
We're assuming.
So are you implying that this right here is right here by
Spinel, right?
Is that Spinel?
What?
You could actually maybe try being constructive.
Instead of fucking with your dice.
Your shitty dice.
SPEAKER_02: Let's not let's it has gotten tense on this episode
of Retro.
The inviting has begun.
SPEAKER_04: But this this looks like the edge of the line.
See, right?
These this right here looks like the edge of the forest.
And these are the mountains here, outside of the edge of the
forest, right?
Here's the forest, this whole area.
Makes sense.
This is the mountains outside the edge of the forest.
Here is an X that looks like two cross swords, which is close to
Garson.
Hey, maybe look two hours.
Well, that just tells you which direction to hold.
SPEAKER_01: Two X's.
One's marked G and one marked M.
What is that?
G and M.
SPEAKER_05: G and M.
I'm gonna guess this is an expanded, a zoomed-in area.
SPEAKER_01: It would appear, so it yeah, maybe, but if we knew
what big pig was.
SPEAKER_06: Right?
SPEAKER_02: If only somebody had like a deity that they could
seek guidance, direction from luck to seek direction from a
deity.
He wouldn't have made some of the decisions.
SPEAKER_01: What?
SPEAKER_02: Um chiefly among those.
I'm gonna signing on for this expedition.
I'm gonna take my dice and leave.
SPEAKER_06: Yes, please take those dice.
SPEAKER_02: Go.
SPEAKER_06: Please take those.
SPEAKER_04: Is the handwriting on this map here where it says
tell me boys to stay out?
Is that handwriting the same as what's on that scroll of yours?
SPEAKER_01: Tell me boys to stay out.
SPEAKER_04: Tell me boys to stay out.
SPEAKER_01: Tell me boys.
Which scroll?
SPEAKER_04: The one that he got the scroll.
The scroll that he got is a magic scroll.
SPEAKER_02: Is a divine magic scroll.
SPEAKER_04: Right, but it was written by somebody.
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't appear to be the same handwriting.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
All right, so big pig.
This has gotta.
That's gotta be it.
SPEAKER_01: I used to be oh, never mind.
SPEAKER_04: So, and look, if all of this, if this is the edge of
the forest and these mountains are the mountains that are these
here, and this is the forest, this would be approximately
where we were.
And we did follow a road in, and there was a river that we
crossed, right?
Whatever that little small mountain stream or a big
mountain stream, whatever.
Here's the other trail.
Were there two trails when we came this way?
I don't recall.
Because we went up the river and we followed the trail.
And then we went into the woods.
So I think right here.
SPEAKER_02: Well, you've crossed a creek right at the edge of the
forest.
Right.
Which basically the creek was the border of the button be here
then.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
Because this looks like it's next to a river.
We think this is a rip out.
SPEAKER_01: Is this where the giant camp was?
SPEAKER_04: Could be giant.
And then what's M?
Mosic?
Mosig and Grossic.
Mosic and Gross Grossic.
And there's the entrance to the mine, right?
Right, so that's the mine entrance.
Okay.
So Sean is finally like, goddammit, glad they figured it
out.
SPEAKER_01: If we go through the mine and we get to an X.
Like, see, this thing to indicate underground versus that
overground.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
And then what is this?
That's there another entrance.
That's the treasure.
SPEAKER_01: Go.
That's where it's happening.
That's where it's the night of fires.
SPEAKER_06: Well, this is the nexus of our adventure.
SPEAKER_04: We don't know that they were planning on making a
play towards Garson.
Like have we been to Garson, right?
We traveled through there to deliver our prisoner.
SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah.
That was prior prior to the recorded day.
SPEAKER_04: With with our assessment of military
capabilities, which is albeit limited, would 500 orcs be
enough to take a town like Garson?
SPEAKER_02: Probably.
The garrison of Garson is around 100 men.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
Then no problem.
SPEAKER_02: Which is why they were a little freaked out of the
amount of Palish soldiers that were coming out with the river
on the hostage handover day.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
So it wouldn't necessarily be a foregone conclusion that the
forces of Garson would hold.
What kind of walls?
They just wooden palisades?
Oh, okay.
No chance they could hold.
SPEAKER_02: They seem pretty stout wooden palisades.
SPEAKER_04: But still, 500 versus the water.
SPEAKER_02: With a like a defensive ditch around it.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm thinking.
All right.
So my guess is that this might be the Garson on the map.
It's not really labeled, but I think that's the implication of
this might be that there's other tunneling to Garson.
They were tunnel.
Well, there's an entrance somewhere in like out here on
the edge of the woods, just in the north of these little bit of
hills, where they could debouche out to go towards Gars.
And it would be maybe like a day's march with almost no
warning at R.
What's the other what's the castle?
This is Castle Egmont.
Okay.
Egremont.
So if that line is this line, they're heading for that.
I'm sorry, what?
This line here?
Right.
If that's this river, then they're tunneling here.
Yeah, I don't think it is because there's hills on this
map on the right side of the river, and there's none on our
other map, which we got from the dwarf, I believe.
That's fair.
So I think this is a zoomed-in area.
So look, we gotta rest.
Let's rest.
I don't want to go through the tunnel.
But so but we can get those villages.
We can't go through the tunnel.
Right.
So you get your wish.
The collapsing.
Whose wish?
That you don't want to go through the tunnel.
It's not really a wish.
You win.
And look.
Actually, check this out right here, right?
Look at this estuary kind of looking section on the map here.
And check this out right here.
They're very similar, right?
By the Yule River.
So this is definitely the Yule River.
This is the line of the forest.
There's some kind of exit from the underground up here in these
hills.
I'll buy that.
So we need to get the outside.
This is their village.
We probably should just abandon Belknack and Grosik.
Because they might have gone once the once their sign,
whatever happened, they're gone, right?
So what something doesn't make sense though.
Okay.
SPEAKER_05: Why go to all the trouble to tunnel if you're not
going to come out in a point where you're going to have
surprise?
Like tunneling to the middle of nowhere and then marching on the
town is dumb.
SPEAKER_04: Let's pretend that they don't have the ability to
tunnel 20 miles underground in less than 20 years.
Right?
That's a ridiculous amount of tunneling, right?
The worms do the tunneling.
I don't disagree.
SPEAKER_06: But if Well, we don't we're just making an
assumption how far away this is.
Lots of assumptions.
Yeah, but we don't know how far away this X is from Garson.
Yeah.
But even my guess It could be two miles, it could be 500 feet.
Right.
We don't really know.
SPEAKER_01: Could be the well in the wrong direction for Garson.
SPEAKER_04: No.
No, Garson's up here.
These are the top.
That way to line up.
My guess is we need to go right about here on this map.
Start local.
Search.
Yeah.
The top hill.
This is the top hill.
We go here.
Now we have to go out down to what was the town's name out
here?
The small woodcutter's village.
SPEAKER_02: Zeps running.
SPEAKER_04: Drake.
We got to go down to Zeps Run, actually, and get go up the
river, get our horses, and we'll be able to make it up to Bells
Barrow in on the road by because there's a road by the river,
right?
Or no?
No road by the river?
SPEAKER_02: There was like a path, it was like a trail you
were on the road.
Which we rode for a while.
Until you split off to get head to the forest.
SPEAKER_04: And then head up to Bells Barrow, give a warning
there, and then move on to Garson, which may take two more
days.
So it's going to take us.
SPEAKER_06: So you don't you don't want to try to get rid of
Grossig if he's floating around here?
You think they're gone?
SPEAKER_04: I don't know for sure, but even by tomorrow
morning, with whatever healing Edric can dish up, we're not
going to be in any condition to take on an ogre mage and a giant
and a few other ogres.
I think that's still like running to where they're going
to go is probably our best option.
House ain't going anywhere.
And if they did, they took the treasure with them.
Right?
Probably.
Even though these guys didn't.
These guys left their treasure.
Unless they consider this home and they'll be back.
Well, right.
Well, they didn't think they when they started their ceremony
that it was going to be interrupted by us big damn
heroes either.
Okay, Mal.
Big Wait, does that make him Jane?
Yes, because he's the big Wait.
That makes me summer.
I'm not okay with that.
You're definitely not Summer.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: Alright, so let's rest for the evening here.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so talk to me about what you're doing before
you bed down for the evening.
Spiking the door closed.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
So we st are we staying in the bedroom?
That only makes sense.
I think we should cut off because we have the the purple
entrance with the grass, right?
And we have the two doors, one of which went to like a supply
closet where we're getting dinner for the night.
The other went to what kind of room?
It was a bedroom.
SPEAKER_02: It was a like a mage bedroom.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
Did we search that thoroughly?
I don't think so.
I think we did a little, but I don't think it was thorough.
Well we didn't get any treasure.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
You saw a bed and a bare desert and a uh shelf of spell
components.
SPEAKER_04: Search that thoroughly.
We go, we can take that main door and block that completely
off, right?
We'll spike it, whatever we gotta do to make that not close,
correct?
Yes.
Then we all leave this entire area and spike that last door.
So there's two doors that are spiked between us and that
barricade, and we would be in like the kitchen-y area.
SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna take some things that will make noise
if they're disturbed and hang them from the first door.
unknown: Okay?
SPEAKER_03: So the one coming in where you guys were in the
middle of the door.
We're planning to spike a door and then spike a door and be
behind this door.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
So I'm gonna hang them from the first door.
You remember where we assaulted out and we tilted the table
over?
Right.
We're gonna all be behind that door.
That's gonna be spiked, and so are the two big doors, which he
wants to set a noise-making trap upon, like lean up a bunch of
halberds or something.
Right.
So if anybody tries to force the door, they'll fall over, make a
racket, right, and we'll know somebody's trying to get in.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
So you're spiking, you're staying in the room where you
had the big blind fight.
SPEAKER_04: No, that's the that's the actual mine room,
right?
SPEAKER_02: No, that's the thing.
SPEAKER_04: No, that's the hallway that links the two doors
you're discussing.
The end of that hallway goes into the room that collapsed.
All right.
So we have the mine room.
Am I right?
At the end of the mine room through two big doors was the
summoning room.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: So we'll call that the summoning room.
SPEAKER_04: We'll call that the summoning room.
And that's full of rock now.
And that's full of rock.
SPEAKER_02: But we're gonna spike two-thirds full of rock.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
But we don't trust that maybe there's another entrance, right?
We're gonna spike that double door.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're pretty sure there's another entrance.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
We're gonna spike that double door.
Well, I know there's one up top.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so you're spiking that door.
SPEAKER_04: We're spiking that door.
That's where you're setting up your noise-making like trap,
right?
Then we are going back into the room where I cast Webb from the
doorway into the bigger room.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: Remember where I flipped the table over, we put
the cow trips down.
SPEAKER_02: So you're spiking that one.
SPEAKER_04: We're gonna spike that.
But before that, we're gonna search the mage room thoroughly
because we didn't.
And we're learning that you have to go search for things to find
treasure.
Ain't that right, Thieron?
What?
We've been way better at finding treasure when you're around.
It's why you're here, actually.
It's why you're allowed on the podcast.
SPEAKER_00: To test out match right, it was gonna find
treasure.
SPEAKER_04: I thought we were he's got a nose for treasure,
this guy.
SPEAKER_06: I thought we were just entitled to the treasure.
SPEAKER_04: No, that's not how it works.
You have to find it after you defeat your enemies.
SPEAKER_01: You gotta pick it up before you continue on with the
mission and port somewhere else.
SPEAKER_04: So we're gonna pick up the treasure this time.
Yes.
We should search.
Okay, so who's doing what?
We should search the whole place for treasure.
We got time.
SPEAKER_00: He just wants to find the cleric.
SPEAKER_04: We'll have some of these humans.
I got a bone to pick with that cleric.
I'm gonna have the humans get all the supplies.
This one is armor, the foods and stuff out of the supplies.
Armor's okay.
SPEAKER_02: All right, yeah.
You find those.
SPEAKER_04: There's a I would always like an upgrade.
SPEAKER_02: There's like two barrels full of salted pork.
Yep.
They're not gonna be very portable, but you can grab what
you need.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
Everybody grab what you can carry.
If only we had a wagon.
Right?
I'd regret having gotten rid of it every time.
Oh, they see that's why we got to get back to Garsons there.
That whole village is assaulted.
My entire business model's destroyed.
Wagon, that's real fire.
SPEAKER_05: That's real funny.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
That's what they're after, the wagon.
All that money I spent that I didn't really have.
Right.
And I want to grab the cracked skull and put that in a sack or
a sheet and just kind of tie it up and have a cracked skull that
to take back, maybe to show a scholar or talk to some other
magician about it.
SPEAKER_01: You think they'll talk to you?
SPEAKER_04: No.
In my experience, skulls do not have to be a big thing.
I do him well.
SPEAKER_02: Is it are you gonna call it brother Crowley?
Are you gonna ask it questions of which it says nothing?
SPEAKER_04: There could be a time when this may happen.
That's poor Urick.
That is all that's what Pindar is doing.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: Areas.
SPEAKER_06: I am assisting the search in the mage's room.
SPEAKER_02: Alrighty.
SPEAKER_04: Okay, so the mage's room appears to have been
cleaned out prior to your adventurers got here first.
unknown: Bastards.
SPEAKER_02: Well, the mage left.
SPEAKER_04: He was invisible.
He came in here and grabbed his stuff.
That's right.
Might still be here.
He noped out.
SPEAKER_02: Nope.
But underneath the bed is a small locked coffer.
SPEAKER_06: That was one hit point.
I'm not.
Don't give me that look.
SPEAKER_04: Lose hit points opening locks.
Unless there's a trap.
Yeah, one point of damage from a pin.
Yeah, a pin print.
And that's it.
Yeah, no.
As he's working in the lock, he just falls over.
Like a fainting goat.
SPEAKER_01: Opening that can wait till tomorrow.
SPEAKER_04: You're correct.
SPEAKER_01: I want that to happen to me every time I'm
startled.
I just fall over with my faint crazy.
SPEAKER_04: Can I play a fainting goat in this?
He's a fainting cleric.
Playing a goat in this can't a campaign with us would be
dangerous.
Yeah.
We try to eat you or use you as a missile weapon.
Eaten in the first episode.
Nobody tosses a goat.
Oh, yes, we do.
SPEAKER_02: We did that in episode one.
SPEAKER_04: Hard to believe that was three years ago.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like three and a half.
SPEAKER_04: Right, three years and a bunch of months.
That's crazy.
Or tell me about it.
All right.
So you're not opening the thing.
SPEAKER_02: Not right now.
I'm curled up on the bed.
And there is a there is a small door on the in the corner of
that room leading.
And I'm definitely not going back that passageway.
SPEAKER_04: Wait, there's a small door.
SPEAKER_02: In the mage's room.
SPEAKER_04: Oh.
We know what's back there.
SPEAKER_06: No, we don't.
Treasure.
All kinds of treasure.
It's the treasure room, bro.
It is.
It's the treasure room.
SPEAKER_02: The last treasure room almost killed you.
Or it's got a big thing.
Which is why I'm curled up on the bed.
SPEAKER_04: It could be his let's open the door.
It almost killed him.
What if it's full of the sparrow?
So no one else can use the bed.
I'm starfishing it.
SPEAKER_01: Collection of healing potions.
SPEAKER_04: So you take up like a corner.
Yeah.
One sharp elbow in your arm.
Come on.
SPEAKER_05: I'm three and a half feet square.
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
SPEAKER_06: I'm going to open this other dwarf.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
Beyond square feet.
A 20 foot by 20 foot room.
And in the center of that room is a chest.
Very large purple sparkly circle.
Oh, definitely go step inside there.
That's pretty rare.
Sparkly.
I think you should break the sparkly circle.
When you briefly searched this room before, there was a there
was an urn full of purple glitter based sparkling.
Purpley silver glitter.
SPEAKER_04: That's gone.
SPEAKER_02: No, it's still there.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we didn't.
SPEAKER_01: Didn't we inspect the purpley glitter closely?
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we were going to keep it for later,
considering it could be a valuable spell computer.
Probably gem powder of some sort.
SPEAKER_01: Did we tell if it was gems or lick it?
SPEAKER_04: Doesn't matter.
We're keeping it.
Snort it.
SPEAKER_02: Snooters, go for it.
You gotta lick it and snort it and see.
It's powdered silver from unfortunate clerics missing
their spell casting checks.
We're not talking about you.
Don't look offended.
No, mine was the person I meant to offend was across the stage.
Mine was copper.
Thank you very much.
Don't pretend to be offended.
SPEAKER_04: Is it just gold from our first advantage?
Copper shaving.
How did it get here?
But it's purple.
I'm sure our listeners are tired of that inside joke.
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure they're tired of most of our inside
jokes.
We're not tired.
SPEAKER_05: I am.
SPEAKER_02: And that's what makes it so.
It's also entirely possible that our our audience right now is
not a completely different audience than we had three years
ago.
SPEAKER_05: That's likely.
SPEAKER_02: Because they all they all quit.
They all died off.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
Well, Reyes can write up the halfling for malingering on the
bed while you're out there exploring.
I am nursing my wounds, sir.
Nursing.
Nursing.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
Both of us, Sean's, at one point worked for Doc.
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, the scary part.
Yeah.
And you and your career's blossomed because of it.
I can't say no to that.
SPEAKER_02: For me, it was just a month before I left that job.
Yeah, but there's a smell coming from the far corner of the
colour.
See, I told you there's a dark alcove.
SPEAKER_06: This looks right up your alley there.
Dark alcove.
It's under the toilet, is there any on the bed, shut your mouth?
SPEAKER_05: What's that?
It's a purebro kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00: They specialize in this.
SPEAKER_01: Well, wizard poop.
SPEAKER_05: I'm going to sleep.
SPEAKER_02: I was I was thinking the miners and the dwarf are
like watching you guys go back and forth from room to room, and
they're looking at you, looking for direction.
Guys, we're gonna camp here tonight.
SPEAKER_06: Well, out there.
SPEAKER_02: Our families are outside in the village.
SPEAKER_05: They're not, actually.
They are far beyond the village with three knights that we
brought with us in a camp.
SPEAKER_02: Hopefully safe?
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, your town was attacked.
Well, if there's hill giants and an ogre mage and orcs out there.
SPEAKER_02: Well, you killed all of them, right?
SPEAKER_03: Not all of them.
Some of them we couldn't find.
Not yet.
SPEAKER_02: And the the dwarf is just over in the corner laughing
his ass off.
SPEAKER_05: So the knights and the remaining villagers that we
could find are off in a little grotto somewhere awaiting our
return.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm not gonna be safe if my family is out
there.
SPEAKER_04: That don't add up.
Yeah, you're safe here.
SPEAKER_02: I can't I can't stay here while if my wife might be
That's on you, bro.
SPEAKER_00: Right, there's the door.
SPEAKER_04: Look, we don't know what the intent of Bel Nak and
Grosik is.
Is it Grossik?
Yeah, on the manor.
Anyway, yeah, so but Mosic is dead.
All the plans of these guys that you were forced to labor for
have been disrupted.
We are hoping that Bel Nak and Grossick decide that everything
they came here to accomplish has been accomplished and leave
without any further ado.
But we would be unable to defend all of your village people out
there in the wild.
So we are going to hole up here in the ground where we can
defend ourselves and rest for the evening.
Re-accumulate spells.
We would be going out tomorrow where you can make whatever
decision in your life that you'd like, though we hope you
continue to work for Lord Reyes in the future, mining silver in
his new empire.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
What's your what's your reaction modifier for that?
SPEAKER_04: Negative 600.
Throwing out the charisma here.
Negative five loyalty bonus, charisma eight.
Reaction zero, though.
Glad you're having this conversation.
It was just a straight up roll.
I'm just telling them like it is.
Well, might want to try and get charisma eight.
SPEAKER_02: You're you're there's some herald.
There's some grumbling back and forth.
SPEAKER_03: Speaking of which, I'm not sure I trust that dwarf.
Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06: Oh so look, that dwarf is high on my shit list.
SPEAKER_04: I I don't know that I want to sleep anywhere near
that dwarf.
Well, we're keeping watches.
One of which will be against it.
SPEAKER_01: It would be great if we all die because of the
villagers and okay, we'll stay tonight.
SPEAKER_04: It's one night only.
SPEAKER_01: Is that the Dorgar?
That's what Dorgar.
SPEAKER_04: I don't know that I caught his name.
It's probably unpronounced.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're just generally evil.
SPEAKER_04: I know.
He just like prevented me from getting away.
SPEAKER_06: Didn't you hear his maniacal laugh?
Yeah.
He single-handed me prevent single-handedly prevented me
from winning.
What we don't know is that's actually an avatar of his deity.
True story.
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
You don't know.
SPEAKER_04: That's an avatar of Eric's deity.
And you never know.
Sorry, what is it?
SPEAKER_01: The purple dust could be too.
SPEAKER_04: So, yes, thank you.
And tomorrow we leave because we believe there's bigger plots
afoot.
Bigger foot's a plot?
SPEAKER_03: Tomorrow we dine in hell.
SPEAKER_04: You would put it that way as a happen.
SPEAKER_06: You said the corner was stinky in that room.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: It was like a dark alcove.
SPEAKER_06: Never go into the stinky corner.
Shine the light in there, see what's going on.
SPEAKER_02: Stinky corner.
Okay, there's a there's a small, narrow, cramped tunnel, and it
gets smellier the closer you get to it.
The second time today you've smelled.
SPEAKER_04: I think it's the dookie hole.
Well, that that does change things then, because you want to
block this door off from the inside once we're done.
We don't want a poop monster coming out.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
A poop demon from dog.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
Well, plus this that's access.
I don't know if we want to block the poop door, some has to go.
They can go somewhere else.
They can go all the way around the other way.
Because think about it, right?
We we're gonna have that section, but if this door was
unclosed, you could go through that door.
We're not in this section, and this door was spiked.
They could go through there and get behind us, right?
SPEAKER_02: Spiking all the doors.
So spike it.
Spike it.
The party would have access to the main corridor where you had
the big fight last session.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
SPEAKER_02: The cleric's quarters and the treasure room,
the storeroom, and the two major rooms.
Well, one of the major rooms, because you're going to be
spiking the door from the big circle room, right?
SPEAKER_06: Yes, the outhouse room.
SPEAKER_02: Because there's no door on the alcove headed to the
uh doesn't have a door.
SPEAKER_04: No, but we can spike the door into that bedroom.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: So you've got basically five rooms that all of
these miners and you can can and we have access to the exit.
SPEAKER_04: We did not cut ourselves off from the exit,
right?
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: No, you have no access to the exit.
SPEAKER_04: Oh, we don't?
Well, we wouldn't have cut ourselves off from the exit to
the to the house.
SPEAKER_02: That's what spiking the door that you shot the web
from would do.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but we're on the side of it that we shot the
web from.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, so you're in that room.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we're not spending the night in the main
section there where we've spiked a money multitude of doors.
I thought we were spending the night with the room the bed.
No room with the bed.
That's what you thought.
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's what I thought when you described it to
me.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's what it sounds like.
SPEAKER_01: Stay in the barracks.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
There's like the barracks section.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Ten beds in there.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so you're spiking the door that Merrick
went into and fought the two or when you all split off in
different directions when the ballista happened.
Oh wait, we're back there?
Well, that's what I'm trying to determine.
SPEAKER_04: So here's what here's my map.
It's subpar, but I have to do that.
SPEAKER_02: Well, your map may or may not reflect reality.
SPEAKER_04: I don't care about reality.
This is the we're spiking doors that don't exist.
SPEAKER_01: This should end well.
SPEAKER_04: So you spike the two big double doors leading into
the We spike these two big double doors leading into the
thing.
This was the room that was the supply closet, correct?
SPEAKER_02: Incorrect.
SPEAKER_04: This was the room with what?
That was the This was the supply closet.
SPEAKER_02: Correct.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
We're taking the stuff out of the supply closet.
This is the room.
Well, the one of the mage rooms.
This is the wizard room.
SPEAKER_02: Correct.
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
This has a tunnel that stinks, which may link back to the
wizard room.
Whereas this has a tunnel that stinks room.
Even better, because that go leads right over to the other
tunnel there, puts them very close together.
We want to spike this door right here into the tunnel.
SPEAKER_02: You see from looking at that map, the the pile of
shit may be the same pile of shit.
SPEAKER_04: Right, exactly.
Right.
So, and then we're going to spike this door because this
door leads into there.
And we're going to spike this door right here, and we're going
to spend the night in this section right here.
It even says sleep in like written on my map right there.
SPEAKER_02: But so you're but you're leaving the exit of the
entire mine open.
SPEAKER_04: Open.
We want to have access to it.
Now, I'm not saying we're not going to have a guard right
here, maybe in the guardroom, or just on this side of the door,
right?
But we want to block off every ability to exit, or except for
us leaving.
We don't want to block ourselves in.
Okay.
We're not locking ourselves into this thing.
All right.
And on like it's good enough to go by, right?
SPEAKER_02: I mean can we set up the list?
You have the supply closet exactly with the which I did
even in the episode.
Is in general a very good map.
SPEAKER_04: I feel safer.
Accurate.
It's not good, it's accurate.
SPEAKER_02: It's not entirely, it's like 80% there.
SPEAKER_04: Well, missing a door.
It's good enough.
SPEAKER_02: We're missing a lot.
So you're gonna sack out in the barracks.
SPEAKER_04: Right.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: Because there was a bedroom here, too, right?
There was another room that we searched.
They found the shoes with the potion in it.
There was another small room, right?
Right.
SPEAKER_02: That was the right there wasn't a whatever.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
Yeah.
So but these uh these rooms, these three rooms essentially.
SPEAKER_01: Before we sack out, I have a healing spell.
If anyone wants it.
SPEAKER_04: We know Merrick wants it because he's been
complaining about having Is it a single shot?
SPEAKER_02: Oh, in that chest, you did find a vial of liquid.
Yes, I did.
SPEAKER_01: I know that, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_04: Always we save the potions for So I hug Merrick.
That's uncommon.
No, no, hold on.
Do you want to take the blame for your crappy dice roll, or do
you want him to roll the dice for a time?
Oh I will take the blame.
Eight.
Wow.
Well call him.
SPEAKER_02: Now you can open punk chests.
Well, a couple more of those I'll have to revise.
Revise the description of your character and I can already show
notes.
unknown: Exactly.
SPEAKER_01: Don't be hasty though.
Don't be hasty.
SPEAKER_04: Oh, we're not.
I'm still bloody.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I bet.
SPEAKER_04: I'm surprised you're not dead.
SPEAKER_01: So to my who's guarding.
SPEAKER_04: It was a near thing.
I'll take the first watch.
I'll be out by the iron door that essentially leads to the
outside world.
I'm guarding this bunk.
SPEAKER_02: So you're inside the room that you got ballistas shot
at you at.
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: And I also think we should make place a guard, which
could be just one of the miners here, by this other door to
listen for things in the big room.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: I'll take last watch.
That way I can cook breakfast.
SPEAKER_03: It's very important, America.
Yes.
It is.
It's a halfling tradition.
SPEAKER_02: Alright, so if you need to make any changes to your
daily spells, do that now.
Oh man, this is gonna be so difficult.
SPEAKER_04: Oh.
Not really.
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna rememorize my spell of backstab.
SPEAKER_04: Rememorize my spell of sword.
SPEAKER_01: Backy stab.
Druid spells.
SPEAKER_06: What you I'm gonna sleep with my mace tonight and
caress it and cuddle it like a little baby and try to ascertain
it.
SPEAKER_02: Are you making fun of five E's attuning magical
items rule?
Just a little bit.
Maybe.
SPEAKER_01: Just a little, maybe.
SPEAKER_04: Just shower with it.
I'm gonna snuggle with my mace.
Alright.
Now I'm changing things around a little bit in my spells.
Do you need to know?
Do you care?
SPEAKER_02: Tell me, sure.
It might be interesting.
SPEAKER_04: So I got rid of spider climb because I haven't
once found a use for it.
I have reduce, enlarge, and I changed to push, which I don't
think might will be a very useful spell, but we'll see.
I'm going with invisibility, and I took knock because I want to
be able to open that little thing of the wizard.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04: And I have my suspicions that the halfling is
going to whine and complain about it a lot, so I'm just
gonna do it in the morning.
Okay.
Because you don't want to die or nothing.
SPEAKER_02: Well, no, it's in the knock on the water.
It's got a little PTSD from the last chest.
SPEAKER_04: You mean the skull?
Right.
Well, there was the chest and the skull, that's true.
Yeah.
Didn't the skull kind of give it away?
Well, yeah.
He didn't say the eyes went green and foresty.
He said red.
Ominous.
We're in a dungeon of merchants.
Right.
Yeah, it was.
Should he have played ominous music next time?
But I mean, I was thinking it was on the chest, not Hellraiser
chains from the ceiling.
No, I get it.
Yeah.
No way I saw the Hellraiser chains from the ceiling.
Maybe they were there the whole time and you just didn't notice
them.
Well, I'm sure they were.
So it's your fault.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_04: I'll take yeah, I'll take that.
But you'll be all better by the morning.
But I'm smart enough to let other people walk into the room
first from now on.
But you're better now.
Yeah, you're not almost full health.
No, not really.
He's all better now.
I'm still leaking.
You can let me out.
I'm better now.
Yeah.
Used to saying that a lot, are you?
unknown: Yep.
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
Time passes.
You can't tell what is happening in the outside world or what
time it is.
What the sun may be doing out there.
But you feel like eight hours have passed.
SPEAKER_03: I'm making salted pork for breakfast.
SPEAKER_02: Because you've been counting slowly one, Mrs.
Right.
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: For the correct amount of times.
SPEAKER_04: I'm counting my heartbeats.
I made a makeshift hourglass out of dirt from the landslide out
of the purple dust.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: That'd probably work.
And it seems somehow that with the oppressive darkness and the
silence of the mind that you don't feel as rested necessarily
as you would if you had a nice campfire.
It's because the silence was awkward.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: And oppressive.
Depressively awkward.
SPEAKER_02: But you all arise the morning.
Nothing has disturbed the iron door.
You didn't hear any sounds beyond it.
I wasn't there all night we were rotating.
Right?
SPEAKER_04: No, that's fine.
And yet the mage is gone.
Let's go find the slaughtered villagers.
Find the dwarf card.
I don't say that out loud in front of the other villagers.
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, the dwarf's gone.
SPEAKER_04: Is he?
Don't they have like stone milled or some bullshit?
I don't know.
How is he not using that before then?
SPEAKER_01: I want to taste the small vial I have to see what
the potion is.
SPEAKER_02: It tastes like a potion of healing.
Tootie fruity.
But much stronger.
SPEAKER_01: Oh give that to Reyes.
Does it taste extra?
It does taste extra.
SPEAKER_04: Extra medium.
Extra potent.
SPEAKER_01: All right.
What are the stats for that?
SPEAKER_04: 38 plus three.
Thank you.
Nerd.
Holy shit.
Dude, we just have to ruin right here from last week.
From the last one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I know how to do thacko, too.
SPEAKER_01: In my head.
In my head.
Shots that's fired.
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
Look, I have my thaco written down right here.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's written.
SPEAKER_04: Is it the same for every weapon you use?
Pretty much.
No, it's not.
Your thacko's the same, but your modifier is different.
Is it written down as your modified number or is it your
regular number?
It's the regular number.
Okay, so you have to do math every time you roll the dice.
All right.
So you rest my point.
So let us go.
Out the door.
There's some thaco waving happening over here.
His thaco's bigger than my thacco.
Maybe Sean and I should be separated.
SPEAKER_02: Bickering bitterly, exit out the long corridor
towards the uh towards the mouth of the mine that you entered
yesterday morning.
There's cubicles.
Before you get to the end of the uh of the corridor, you smell
acrid smoke.
More dookie.
They torture the village.
Oh yeah, go out.
And the uh the buildings that formerly made up the village are
nothing but cinder and ash.
So somebody was rising into the morning sky.
Which the morning sky is clear and bright.
SPEAKER_03: Any giant footprints around the buildings?
SPEAKER_04: Yes, go scout it out.
Oh, hold on.
Before we do that, Edric, do you have I don't know, I don't need
any healing, but perhaps some of the your companions like old
fear in there and Merrick, they might really like who's leaking
awesome.
SPEAKER_01: Give up the healing.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
You have a great number of healing memories.
Excellent.
Yes, this is the time.
SPEAKER_01: I will give Rey as a hug.
SPEAKER_04: Don't touch me in a new note.
Do you whisper in his ear?
Four.
SPEAKER_02: I look to touch the drones part.
SPEAKER_03: It might be more than a hug.
SPEAKER_06: I give you like that fatherly disappointed look.
You were just scoffing, bro.
So much more.
There was scoffing.
And it was let down.
SPEAKER_01: And then Theron also wanted a hug as I put my hugging
and you want to roll your own die so that he can't screw it
up.
For hugging and docking.
Every time I say that, all I gotta do is say kill the wizard
to fool.
SPEAKER_05: Maybe you should be nicer to him.
I'm just disappointed.
I'm just disappointed.
I give myself a hug.
SPEAKER_01: I hug myself.
Oh, that's one.
SPEAKER_04: That's karma right there.
Do you want me to roll it for you next time?
Is it karma?
Do you have any more healing?
I got one from uh Nelson Mund last night, too.
You got one from last night.
No, you didn't.
No.
You don't gain any just from resting overnight.
We gained one.
You have to rest a complete 24-hour period.
Yeah, that's not this game.
We know you weren't here, so it feels like 24 hours, but no.
SPEAKER_01: Who wrote this game?
Anyway.
Gary Gygex.
Gary Gygex.
Jerk.
Would you like another one?
SPEAKER_02: Anything we don't like, we're gonna say Gary Gygax
did it.
This version of the Matthew.
I'm like three quarters.
Stuart Marshall.
SPEAKER_04: That's a good idea.
I like that.
Well, what about more Merritt?
Two potions, too, we could use between.
Are you bloodied?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, go for it.
Yeah, roll one of your big No, I didn't want we're just talking
to the dice.
Roll your die.
Rodney's very fickle today.
SPEAKER_02: Today.
Yeah.
It wasn't a one, one.
Today.
No, it's a four.
SPEAKER_04: Today?
Today.
I think you've just been called out, bro.
I'm sorry.
I missed the part.
I missed it.
I'm fickle.
SPEAKER_02: You can listen to it on uh Retro Rollcast.
Yeah.
On the next episode.
On all major podcast platforms.
It is.
SPEAKER_05: It really is.
SPEAKER_04: I'll check it out.
I'd say I really like you guys, but I don't.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but yeah.
This is a purely visual transition.
That's it.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02: Out there, we have this.
We're professional podcasters now.
What?
We're professional podcasters now, so we can make it seem like
we're all buddies, but like deep down we like really hate each
really loathe each other.
I wasn't getting paid.
SPEAKER_05: I literally pissed on Rodney's tire before I came
in here.
SPEAKER_06: There's no way I wouldn't be doing this out.
I cleaned it off.
I'm only here for the benefits.
SPEAKER_02: All the money and the fame, we wouldn't be doing
this.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's why.
Let's stop.
All right.
So he was gonna go scout out the village looking for tracks
because that's what he could do.
Who's that?
SPEAKER_02: Morick.
SPEAKER_04: Aren't you?
Oh, Merrick, sorry.
SPEAKER_02: My character on Friday night is Morick.
Moring.
SPEAKER_04: Oh right, and that was last night.
We have a new character named Morick.
The illusionist.
I'm an illusionist from Orc.
SPEAKER_01: Merrick and Mork.
SPEAKER_04: Continue.
That's scary.
Let's go.
I'm looking for tracks.
unknown: Okay.
SPEAKER_02: Are there any giant tracks?
Giants.
So you step out into the village.
There are tracks.
There are very large tracks.
Into the open.
Some of which appear to be large, unbooted feet.
Some of which a few of which appear to be large, very booted
feet.
SPEAKER_03: Did the giants wear boots?
SPEAKER_02: The giants were boots.
SPEAKER_03: Fairies wear boots.
SPEAKER_06: Fairies were boots.
So it's ogres.
SPEAKER_02: I saw what I saw with my own two eyes.
Yep.
You gotta believe me.
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
Just getting ridiculous.
SPEAKER_02: Well, what were they dancing with?
What were the fairies that were boots dancing with?
They were dancing with a dwarf.
SPEAKER_05: Dancing with it.
I don't know either.
Rodney's looking at me like, what in the fuck is happening
right now?
You know what they're talking about?
I don't know.
Really?
SPEAKER_02: And I you do not know.
I would have expected the two of you to know.
This half of the table doesn't know.
SPEAKER_01: I went to the doctor to see what he could give me.
Any smoking and drinking is all that you do.
Is all that you do?
Yeah.
I'm assuming it's a song.
Yeah.
It's a black Sabbath song.
You really shouldn't know it.
Jesus.
The original.
SPEAKER_02: Fairies wear boots.
I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04: Is it an Aussie version?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't usually listen to that.
Yeah, you're more of a Dio Sabbath version.
I'm a Dio version.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, Dio's good, though.
Because you're not the only person who feels that the Dio
Sabbath is better.
Just a bit better.
You can't knock Ozzy.
The Aussie because that invented heavy metal as a genre.
So you got to give them their respects.
But the rainbow.
Dio is amazing.
I'm actually kind of surprised.
SPEAKER_05: I haven't heard doing that lately.
SPEAKER_03: I've been listening to Sword and Sorcery Inspired
Metal.
SPEAKER_02: One day we're going to have a conversation about
this because I can't do it.
SPEAKER_03: No.
SPEAKER_02: I can't step beyond the cringe factor.
Some of it is the entire thing.
Oh come on.
SPEAKER_03: You don't want to listen to Numenor play the
Dragons of Erebor?
SPEAKER_02: Like, as far as I'll go is like Blind Guardian.
That's my line.
They're in there.
SPEAKER_06: But what about Sabaton?
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: But that's World War II.
Okay, sabotage.
They are beyond the lines which I do not generally, but they are
a good band.
Sabotage?
SPEAKER_01: And they're alter ego.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
Yeah, sabotage things about other stuff.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
Yeah.
I've never heard.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_05: That Christmas song is a good thing.
It's incredible.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we lost it.
SPEAKER_05: But yeah, Trans Siberian Orchestra is sad.
It's all gone.
Really?
Yeah.
That's disappointing.
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, this is not a themed heavy metal pod.
It is.
It could be a podcast.
This is a role-playing game.
Join us on a retro metal cat.
And we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna get into what
Merrick sees beyond.
Beyond the pale.
Let's hope pale seems to be.
Well, that's the name of the with the shadows of the pale.
But we're gonna find out what Merrick sees beyond the
footprints on the next episode of Remove.
No Footsies.
SPEAKER_06: That's been a retro gas production.