Voddie Baucham - Esau Sells His Birthright

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Speaker 1: I have.

Speaker 2: Often had conversations with individuals, either with individual families or

with individuals with just differing opinions, who ask questions about

what we do here and raise objections or cautions about

what we do here. And the objections and cautions that

people raise about what we do here all seem to

center around this idea that if you pay too much

attention to what families are supposed to be and what

they're supposed to do, then somehow you are painfully close.

Speaker 1: To making an idol of.

Speaker 2: Or that somehow you are painfully close to excluding people

who don't have perfect families or come from perfect families.

And always when I hear those objections, I tell people

that I now know two things about you. Number one,

you have not been to GFBC. And two, you think

way too highly of us. I've run into families who've said, yeah,

I heard about your church, but, you know, we.

Speaker 1: Haven't come to visit your church.

Speaker 2: And I have to just admit that right there in

my heart, because it kind of goes, yes, thank you.

You need to get rid of some of the folks

who are coming to visit. No, really. That's not it. No,

he said, yeah, I thought about your church, but I

haven't come to visit your church. And they'll say something like,

you know, because... Our family, our kids, they're just not there.

Because the rest of y'all, the rest of us, our kids,

they've arrived. And it's almost as though people have come

to think or assume or believe that that what this

is about is ultimately just getting families squared away, getting

families properly organized, getting families polished up on the outside,

and that somehow.

Speaker 1: That's what this is all about.

Speaker 2: As a result, One of the things you'll read, you know,

Pastor Paul wrote a section in this book on approaches

to family ministry that will be out next month. And

as a result, what you will find is even among

individuals who are considered to be thoughtful and experienced, They

raise some of the same objections. You know that stuff

that you guys are talking about and what families are

called to do and to be? That's great if you have,

and here's what they say, that's great if you have

families who are all highly educated, all very wealthy, and

all from pristine family backgrounds.

Speaker 1: Congratulations.

Speaker 2: To which... Pastor Paul just gently responded, you've never been

to our church, obviously. Because that's just not the case.

But having said that, if we're not careful, we'll begin

to think that somehow that's what it's all about. Somehow

we'll begin to measure ourselves by... how well squared away

we are on the outside, as if somehow that makes God.

Speaker 1: More able to use us.

Speaker 2: Or as if somehow that is something within the confines

or context of our own abilities to accomplish. And nothing

could be further from the truth. We are called to

live in accordance with what the Scriptures teach as it

relates to our individual lives and as it relates to

our families. There is no question about that. However, if

we get to the place to where we begin to

believe that there is somehow a formula that will guarantee success,

we have left Bible country and we are on our

way to the land of disappointment. There is no formula.

There is no paint-by-numbers kit. And there are no guarantees.

But here's the good news. Your family being squared away

is also not a prerequisite for God using you. If

it were, there would be no Jacob. There would be

no Isaac. And there would have been no Abraham. If

the prerequisite is... We have to have all of our

I's dotted and our T's crossed in order to be worth.

Speaker 1: Anything in the kingdom. There would have been no.

Speaker 2: Seth. Because Adam and Eve proved their unworthiness with Cain

and Abel. Amen? So, where do we strike that balance?

Between being people who understand that we are called, that

we are commanded to live in accordance with what the

Scriptures teach as it relates to our families, the way

that we govern ourselves, and the way that we live,

and at the same time recognizing that God is the

one who calls. God is the one who saves. God

is the one who transforms. And we are utterly dependent

upon Him for the results. However, do we strike that balance?

Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked. Open your Bibles with me to

Genesis chapter 25.

Speaker 2: And we'll see if there's something found here in the

life of Isaac crossing over with the life of Jacob

that will help us answer these questions and strike this balance.

Genesis chapter 25. And I want you to recognize that

in Genesis chapter 25, what we're learning is this.

Speaker 1: God uses messed up families.

Speaker 2: There should have been a whole bunch of folks shouting

amen right there, okay? Let me try that again. What

we learn in Genesis 25 is God uses messed up families. Amen, okay?

Beginning in verse 19. These are the generations of Isaac,

Abraham's son. Abraham fathered Isaac. He's already got problems. If

we've been tracking along, we realize Isaac already has difficulty

right there because Abraham is the one who fathered him.

And just previously, we've read about Abraham's fathering record. And

it's not at all pretty. So right here, Isaac has issues.

And Isaac was 40 years old when he took Rebekah,

the daughter of Bethuel, the Aramean of Paddan Aram, the

sister of Laban, the Aramean, to be his wife. Now

we read about Laban that he's now related to, and

we see a whole other host of problems that Isaac

has in his life that he's not even aware of yet. Amen?

We're going to hear about Laban in just a little

while as it relates to Jacob. And Isaac prayed to

the Lord for his wife because she was barren. And

the Lord granted his prayer. And Rebekah, his wife, conceived.

And everything was fine after that.

Speaker 1: No. The children struggled together within her.

Speaker 2: And she said, if it is thus, why is this

happening to me? So she went to inquire of the Lord,

and the Lord said to her, Two nations are in

your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided.

The one shall be stronger than the other, and the

older shall serve the younger. When her days to give

birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb.

The first came out red, all his body like a

hairy cloak. So they called his name Esau. Afterward, his

brother came out with his hand holding Esau's heel. So

his name was called Jacob, or heel grabber. Isaac was

60 years old when she bore them. When the boys

grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of

the field, while Jacob was a quiet man dwelling in tents.

Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but

Rebekah loved Jacob. Once, when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau

came in from the field. And he was exhausted. And

Esau said to Jacob, let me eat some of that

red stew, for I am exhausted. Therefore his name was

called Edom. This refers to his redness. So his names

are based on redness. number one, the fact that he's hairy,

and the other, the fact.

Speaker 1: That he's red.

Speaker 2: Amen. Hello, I'm the hairy red guy. Nice to meet you.

Jacob said, sit down brother, you're hungry, I'll feed you.

Not quite. Jacob said, sell me your birthright now. Esau said,

I'm about to die of what uses a birthright to me.

Jacob said, swear to me now. So he swore to

him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave

Esau bread and lentil stew. And he ate and drank

and savored the meal since it had cost him his birthright.

And he hovered over the food, enjoying every tender... No.

Speaker 3: He ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus,

Esau despised his birthright. God uses messed up families. In fact,

he has no other choice.

Speaker 2: Amen? Because from the first family on, There have been

messed up families and nothing but messed up families. There

are some families that have reached a sort of mythological status,

but those families are just that. They are myth. Every

family is a messed up family. The only question is,

in what area are you messed up? It is a myth.

It is a myth.

Speaker 1: That there are somehow families that aren't messed up.

Speaker 2: It is a myth that somehow if you just did

two or three things different, then your family would no

longer be messed up. No, your family may be better

off than it is now, but trust me, you will

still have a messed up family. You were born to

a messed up family. You established a messed up family.

You will leave a messed up family when you die,

and your children will establish messed up families just like you. Amen. Hallelujah.

Speaker 1: Praise the Lord.

Speaker 2: Let's just get that out there so we can all

take a deep breath. There is no curriculum that will

make your family not be messed up. There is no

teacher whom you can follow. That will make your family

not be messed up. There is no system of parenting

that will make your kids not be messed up. There

is no amount of beating, talking, or begging that will

make your children not be messed up. Can I get

an amen somewhere? All of those things are very important.

But hear me on this. To believe that any of

those things have the ability to negate the realities of

the fall is idolatry. To believe that what's wrong with

your children is that you didn't use the right method

or mechanism. is idolatry. Because you just said, all they

needed was me being more effective, not all they need

is Christ and His cross. That's idolatry. Pure and simple.

Speaker 1: It's idolatry.

Speaker 2: But the good news, of course, is God uses messed

up families.

Speaker 1: How is this family messed up?

Speaker 2: Well, a number of ways. Number one, This family's messed

up because they come from messed up stock. Amen? We

see that in the first part. Back in verse 19.

Where's Isaac's problem come from? These are the generations of Isaac,

Abraham's son. There you go. Right there. And by the way,

we're going to see this later on. Because Isaac is

going to sin in some ways that he learned from

his father. This whole she's not really my wife game

that Abraham played on a number of occasions, his son

Isaac learned how to play that very same game. He did.

So he's messed up. They're messed up. Their family's messed

up because of what they come from. Listen, your family's

messed up because of what you come from. My family's

messed up because of what we come from. We start

off messed up because of what we come from. And

I mean that in at least two ways. Here's the

first way. The first way is that there are things

in our family that we have seen, that we have learned,

that we have developed appetites for, that are sinful, that

are displeasing to God. Every last one of us. All

of us. There are things that were messed up in

our family that are messed up in us. Even some

of those things we fight against tooth and nail because

of what we have seen and what we have had

passed down to us. So that's the first reason that

they come from messed up stock. Or the first way

in which they come from messed up stock. All the

things that were present in Abraham. All the sins that

were present in Abraham. All of those things that Isaac saw,

that he was raised in the midst of, that he

developed appetites for. And you and me, the same way.

There are things that we saw. There are things that

we learned to tolerate. There are things that we developed

appetites for that are sinful. That are sinful. Now, there

is some degree to which, you know, you come to

faith in Christ and all of a sudden your eyes

are opened and you see things in your past, you

see these things in your family that were handed down

to you, and you realize that they were wrong and

they are warped, and by God's grace you begin to

run in the other direction. But you know as well

as I do that there are other things in your

family's history that you lived with for a long time

as a believer before you realized that they were a problem. Amen? Amen?

There were some things that even went beyond that. You

didn't just realize they were a problem, but you made

excuses for them. The unsubmissive wife who blames the color

of her hair or her ethnicity. If you can't say amen,

you ought to say ouch. I know I'm unsubmissive. I

know I shouldn't talk to my husband like that. But

you know, I'm a hot-blooded fill-in-the-blank.

Speaker 1: Whatever, you know.

Speaker 2: I come from this ethnic background, that ethnic background. I

have these people in my family. And by the way,

here's what's ironic about that. It doesn't matter what ethnic

background you come from. Everybody uses it as an excuse,

whether it's Irish or Italian or Hispanic or black or whatever.

Everybody finds something in their background, ethically, and they go, yeah,

this group of people is known for being loud or

known for being, you know, argumentative or known for being

expressive or known for being whatever. And as a result

of me being one of those people, I have an excuse. Yes,

it's sinful. But this particular sin is to be overlooked

by all because of the family that I happen to

be born to. Help you. And what you learn after

a while is there is no ethnicity that doesn't have

an excuse for some kind of sinful behavior. Amen? So

we all just kind of find one, figure one out,

you know? Some people make up excuses for ethnicities they

don't even belong to, you know. Amen. Well, you know,

it's that Scotch-Irish blood in me. I don't know if

you know this or not, but.

Speaker 1: You're black.

Speaker 2: You don't have none of that Scotch-Irish blood in you,

you know. Or whatever the case may be. We just

make stuff up, you know. Here's the second way that

they come from bad stock. We talked before about this

whole thing of these generational curses. You know, as though

somehow the blood of Jesus is just not powerful enough

to deal with generational sin. And people talk about all

these generational curses or whatever. There is one generational curse

that is real. And that's the curse that we all

inherit from Adam. So, number one, by virtue of being

Abraham's kid, he's got baggage in his background that messes

him up. And number two, by virtue of being a

descendant of his federal head, Adam, he's got baggage in

his background that makes him messed up. And you and

I are the exact same way. The earthly family that

you came from messed you up. But don't get mad

at them because it doesn't matter which earthly family you

came from. You'd have just been messed up in a

different way. Amen? And secondly, being born in Adam as

every man is, you're messed up. So here's the first

problem with this family and all families, the stock that

they come from. How does this manifest itself? Well, it

manifests itself in a number of ways. Here's problem number two.

Mom and dad are not on the same page. Mom

and dad are not on the same page. That's a problem.

There is no unity with mom and dad. Look with

me if you will. Look at verse 27. When the

boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man

of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man dwelling

in tents. Isaac loved Esau, and that next phrase is

absolutely telling. Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game.

We'll get to that momentarily. But Rebecca loved Jacob. So

here's mom and dad. One's heart is pointed toward this child.

The other's heart is pointed toward that child. We have

a problem. Number one, they come from baggage. Secondly, mom

and dad are not on the same page. This is

a messed up family. When mom and dad are not

on the same page, when mom and dad are not

moving in the same direction, when mom and dad do

not have the same marching orders, there is a problem

within the context of that family. It doesn't work that way.

There's nothing but conflict and hardship and heartache when it

doesn't work. And we will see this later on in

this very same family. We will see a replay of

this scene of the birthright and the conflict between the

two brothers and the conflict between mom and dad manifesting

itself again as it relates to the birthright. But this

family has a problem because mom and dad are on

different pages. Mom and dad are not walking in unity. Newsflash,

your family has the same problem. How do I know that?

Because you are not two identical entities. You are two

separate sinful entities. And because you two separate sinful entities

got married, I don't care how well the two of

you have learned how to get along with one another,

you are not always on the same page. Whether you

admit it or not, you're not. By the way, that's

why God commands submission from a wife. Do you ever

wonder about that? That's why he commands husbands to live

with their wives in an understanding manner. Why do you

have to command that? If all we need is love

and to follow our hearts, and if we're just overwhelmed

by love, and we gaze longingly into one another's eyes,

and we feel so deeply and so pleased. That and

a few bucks will get you a cup of coffee.

But that's not real. That's the movies. That's TV. That's

not real. That's not where we live. It's not real.

My favorite quote on this whole thing, it was from

none other than Ruth Graham. Ruth Graham was talking about

her and Billy and their marriage lasted all those years.

They brought up the issue of compatibility and how compatible

the two of them were. And Ruth said basically that

they weren't very compatible, but that was okay. Because if

the two of them were the same, one of them

would be unnecessary. Amen. Two people get married. Two sinful

people enter into a covenant with one another. And God

commands husbands to live with their wives in understanding manner

because it's not our natural bent. We don't do it naturally.

We must not only learn to do it, we must

be commanded to do it. There should be a whole

lot of deep base amens out there right now. We

just don't. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as

unto the Lord. Not submit yourself to your husband when

he's worthy of it. Because he never will be. If

he was worthy of it, you wouldn't have to be

commanded to submit to him. Women walking around complaining because

they don't feel like submitting to their husband. Why would

you feel like submitting to your husband? Why would you

expect to feel like submitting to your husband? You were

commanded to do it. God doesn't go around commanding you

to do the stuff that you feel like doing. Notice

God never commands you to love yourself. Never. But he says,

love your neighbor as yourself. He doesn't say, love your

neighbor and also love yourself. No. God says, I already

know you love you. Your sin makes you love you.

So take that loving of you that you have, always

have had, and always will have. Amen? And turn it

towards your neighbor. If you want to see how to

treat your neighbor, see how you treat yourself. That you

absolutely love. You love yourself. Well, no, actually I have

low self-esteem. Liar. The Bible says no man hates his

own flesh. You don't have low self-esteem. You know what

your problem is? Your problem is that other people don't

think as highly about you as you do and that

makes you feel bad. So you get two sinful people

who get married to one another. Two people with different

bents and different desires and they get married to one another.

And Isaac and Rebecca are married to one another. One's

heart is pointed in this direction, the other's heart is

pointed in that direction as it relates to their children.

They're not like the rest of us who don't have

any favorites among our children at any period of time.

This is a messed up family. Thirdly, this is a

messed up family because there's sibling rivalry. From the womb.

From the womb, there's sibling rivalry. She has to go

to God and ask God, what's going on on the

inside of me? Because this is not right. From the womb,

there's rivalry between Jacob and Esau. And that's not good.

This is a messed up family. But this is not

the first family to have sibling rivalry. In fact, the

first family to have sibling rivalry was the first family.

The first set of brothers ever to walk the face

of the earth in the most pristine and perfect condition

that the world has ever seen. became the foundation for

the first murder that ever occurred as Cain killed his

brother Abel the first two people ever to be brothers

that we know of and one of them kills the

other and you think all you need to do is

tweak your parenting a little bit and you won't have

sibling rivalry in your house Who do you think you are?

I mean, honestly, who do we think we are? It's

just a matter of a little tweaking. It's just a

matter of being better parents than Adam and Eve were.

We could just be better parents than Adam and Eve were.

We can just get rid of this whole sibling rivalry

thing and our family wouldn't be messed up in this way.

In the words of that theologian, Dr. Phil, how's that

working for you? does this mean that we don't teach

our children and train our children as it relates to

the way they interact with one another as to the

way that it relates to them loving one another and

treating one another no it doesn't mean that at all

in fact this is the reason we have to do

that see we'll get to that in a moment but

that's what all of this is pointing to This is

the reason that we have to deal with these things.

Not only is this family messed up, just sort of

corporately and in theory, but this family's messed up individually.

Speaker 1: Rebecca has a problem.

Speaker 2: What's her problem? Her problem is she's infertile. That's a problem.

That's a problem in general. Infertility is a problem in general.

Families that wrestle with infertility are often torn apart. It

is one of the most difficult things for a couple

to walk through together. It's infertility. But not only is

she infertile, but her infertility is compounded. Why? Well, number one,

because she's married to a man who came from a

couple that was infertile until they were nearly 100. So

he is acutely aware of the problem. Here's number two.

There's this little issue of a promise that was made

to Abraham that is going to flow through Isaac who

gets married at 40 and then doesn't have a baby

until 60. Rebecca's infertility is a problem. That's a problem.

You know what I hadn't thought about until the last

couple of weeks? Sarah, she's died, she's gone. But Abraham's

alive all the way up to the birth of Jacob.

Abraham's infertile. He goes and he sins because he didn't

know how to deal with his infertility. God gives him

this promise, and all of a sudden, he comes around. Yes,

I'm going to send these other sons off, but this

one I'm going to give everything, because this is the

one through whom the promise is going to come. Now,

I want to make sure that my son marries well. Here,

I'm going to make these arrangements. Make sure that he

marries well. Fine, I've got my son married well. I'm

getting old. I'm not going to be here much longer.

They're married. Okay, now, Isaac, Rebecca, go. And Abraham has

to watch for 20 years. Anybody think you've got a

corner on the waiting for grandbabies market? He watches and

he waits and he agonizes for 20 years. How do

you think that made Rebecca feel? Do you think Abraham

had to say a word to her? He's been talking

about this promise. We've got the first fruits of the promise.

We've got the promised land, even though it's just a

little smidgen of the promised land. But it's here. We've

got Isaac. God is fulfilling the promise. It's here. This

is us. They probably got tired of hearing Abraham talk

about the promise, the promise, the promise. And 20 years

go by. You waiting on a baby today? Somehow thinking,

maybe I just made God mad. Maybe there are two

or three things that I should have tweaked in my

life and then somehow God would have liked me enough

to give me a baby or give me another baby

or whatever the case may be. How come I don't

have as many babies as so and so has? And again,

this is for those people out there that you know of.

I'm sure no one in this room has ever struggled

with any of this. I'm sure there's no one in

this room who's ever beaten themselves up because they cut

off the blessing of children. Sure. No one here. Absolutely.

We're messed up. And there's no program. There's no tweaking

of just a couple of things. We're messed up. Not

only is Rebecca messed up, Isaac is messed up.

Speaker 1: Look at Isaac.

Speaker 2: Think about this. Isaac is the son of promise. He

has this older brother who despises him because the older

brother is not the son of promise. The older brother

is mad. They sent me and my mother into the

desert to die. And yet, this word comes to Rebekah

and one would assume is translated to Isaac. Jacob's the

one Isaac, not Esau. Isaac's response, I don't care. This

one brings me venison. And that's all it takes to

be my favorite. I like the red hairy one who

brings me gain because my appetite is what rules me.

So he's my favorite because of what I like to taste,

because of what I like to eat, because of what

I like to consume. It is not about the promise.

It is about my flesh and my desires. Isaac is

a messed up man. He is ruined. In some ways

even worse than his father. His father eventually came around.

Abraham eventually says, no Isaac, I'm giving it all to you.

You are the son of promise. Abraham says that about Isaac.

Isaac doesn't do the right thing except for the fact

that he's tricked by his wife and his son. He

never comes around. Isaac is a messed up father. And

so am I.

Speaker 1: And so are you.

Speaker 2: And we don't even have to look hard, do we, man?

We don't have to look hard at all. And it's

not a matter of tweaking. It's not just, you know,

because my father didn't do this, my father didn't do that,

I wasn't raised in the right environment. Oh yeah, that's

all it would have taken for you to be just fine. No.

Your father could have been the first man on the

face of the planet, born in complete and utter innocence

and perfection, and you still could have killed your brother.

Speaker 1: Not only is Isaac messed up.

Speaker 2: Esau, his firstborn, is messed up. Esau is a man

like his father. Driven by his appetite. I'm hungry. Give

me some of that rich stew. Give me your birthright.

His response? It's a birthright to me. I'm hungry.

Speaker 1: I want that red stew. You want my birthright?

Speaker 2: It's yours. I want my appetite to be satisfied. That's

what I want. I have no long-term vision, Jacob. I'm

not living for anything beyond the here and the now.

That doesn't matter to me. I'm hungry.

Speaker 1: Thank you very much.

Speaker 2: Give me that. What do you want? You want my birthright?

Speaker 1: Whatever.

Speaker 2: You get a double portion blessing. Fine. You take two

to my one. Whatever.

Speaker 1: I want the stew. Jacob's messed up too. What's his name?

Speaker 2: Heel grabber. Schemer. Conniver. What's he doing? Heel grabbing. Mom's

whispering in his ear. You're the one, son. That's not

enough for him. It's not enough for me. God says

I'm the one. I've got to take it. I have

to manipulate it. I have to make it happen here

and now. And I'll take advantage of my brother at

his weakest moment in order to do it. Folks, this

is a messed up family. But follow me on this.

Because here's where we can make the mistake. This is

a messed up family. And so, this is just all

about Isaac. just tweaking a couple of things in the

way that he fathers his family. And if Isaac had

just tweaked a couple of things in the way that

he fathered his family, then Jacob and Esau would have

been better sons. And if Isaac had just tweaked a

couple of things in the way that he was a

husband to Rebekah, then Rebekah would have been a better

wife because Isaac would have... Do you hear me?

Speaker 1: What are we saying?

Speaker 2: In essence, we're falling into the same trap that this

family fell into. How's this family going to be useful

in the hands of God? The answer at every point

is the same. God's call. God's promise. God's promise. Isaac,

how are you going to be useful in the hands

of God? God's saying to Isaac, it's me, son, it's

not you. You're the son of promise. Yes, yes, I'm

the son of promise, and here we go. No, you don't. No,

you don't. Because there will be no next generation unless

God speaks forth life in the womb of your wife.

You are not the answer, Isaac. God is the answer.

And God shows him this at point one. Just like

he showed Abraham. Okay God, I got Ishmael, let's go.

No sir. Ishmael is the son of your flesh. He

is not the son of promise. You did not obey me.

You did not trust me. He's not the answer. God

did not say, oh, if you had just tweaked three

or four principles, then sure. No, it's not tweaking three

or four more principles. It's God invading our lives. That's

what we are in desperate need of. Oh, if Rebecca

had only been a more submissive wife. No. It's true.

Rebecca should have been a more submissive wife. But Rebecca's

problem was not her outward submission to her husband. Rebecca's

problem is the same as all wives' problems. Wives, submit

yourself to your own husband as to the Lord. A

submission problem toward a husband is merely a symptom of

a submission problem to God. She didn't need to just

go to a conference and learn two or three more principles.

She needed her life invaded by Almighty God. And what

we see is fruit of an unregenerate heart. That's the problem. Oh,

if they had just beat on Jacob and Esau just

a little bit more. If they just whooped them a

few hundred more times. Now granted, these boys probably needed

a few more whoopings than they got. There's not a

weapon in the world that would change who Jacob was

on the inside. In fact, it's not until God whips

him and breaks his hip that he's no longer Jacob,

now he's Israel. Do we battle... Do we battle? Yes,

we battle. Absolutely we battle. But here's the problem. If

I believe that all my children need is me battling

against their sin, that's idolatry. No. What my children desperately

need is the gospel. So even when I am battling

against their sin, I must make sure that they know

that I'm not battling against flesh and blood. Yes, this

is a flesh and blood moment. Yes, you and I

are dealing with this flesh and blood. Yes, as your father.

I am executing and exacting punishment and judgment on the

sin that I see. But know that I'm only doing

this out of obedience to God and in hopes that

God will use this moment to call you to himself.

Because what you need is God. What you need is

the gospel. What you need is to be born again.

That's what you need. Don't you dare begin to believe

anything other than that. Don't you dare begin to believe

that just by going to this church, somehow your family's

going to be transformed. Don't you dare believe that just

by picking up one or two of those books in

the back, your family's going to be alright. Don't you

dare believe that just by buying one of those little

rods in the back, everything's going to be fine with

your kids. You will have whitewashed sepulchers who know not God,

but fool you into thinking that you're somehow a good parent.

Don't you dare buy that lie. You stay on your

face before God. You keep preaching the gospel to your kids.

The only answer for Jacob, the only answer for Esau

is the gospel. The only answer is for God to

invade the life of these young men. And eventually God does.

God invades the life of Jacob. And the problem is

that so many of us pray. God, make my words

effective for this child. I talk and I talk and

I talk. They don't seem to listen. Make my words effective. God,

make my discipline effective for this child. When our prayer

ought to be, God, break his hip. God, break her hip.

Call him to yourself. Call him to yourself. Because if

that doesn't happen, the rest is useless. The rest is worthless.

The rest is meaningless if that doesn't happen. It's polishing

the brass on the Titanic. Unless God built the house,

they labor in vain who build it. So, why spank

my kids? Because God told me to. And I'm believing

that he uses every means. Just like the gospel is

a means. Do I believe that only God can save

my kid? Yes, I believe that only God can save

my kid. But God uses the gospel. So I'm going

to preach the gospel to my kid again and again

and again and again. I believe God also uses formative

and corrective discipline from parents. So I'm going to apply

that again and again and again and again. Not just

so that I can get outward conformity. But because I'm

participating with God just like sharing the gospel. And by

the way, sharing the gospel even in those moments that

God might be merciful and save that soul. Do I

live with my wife in an understanding manner?

Speaker 1: Absolutely.

Speaker 2: But not to manipulate her and make her a clone

of myself with whom I never disagree. Not to dominate her.

I do it. Because by God's grace, there's a promise

attached to it. What's the promise attached to it? That

my prayers won't be hindered. What prayers are those there

in 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7? Are those

prayers that I'm offering for me and the stuff that

I want? No, James says, I don't have what I

ask for because I'm asking to spend on myself. No,

those prayers are the prayers that we are praying corporately.

And my priestly function praying for my family, praying for

my wife.

Speaker 1: That's what he's talking about.

Speaker 2: It's my wife to submit herself to me as her husband,

as unto the Lord. Yes, absolutely. I thought you said

it was of no avail. Folks, you do it out

of obedience and out of an act of worship to God,

trusting that God will use it. And again, in 1

Peter chapter 3, any of you wives has a husband

who's disobedient to the Word? You just nag him. That'll

get the job done. No. No. He'll be won without

a word by the behavior of his wife. As she

does what? Obeys God and trusts God to use her

obedience as a means to an end. Do you see this?

It's all a matter of perspective. Here's a question you

ask yourself. If there's a problem in my family, does

it cause me to realize how desperate we all are

for God's transforming work? Or does it merely embarrass me

because of my outward reputation? If the misbehavior of my

children merely embarrasses me because of my outward reputation, I'm

in sin. Because I'm worried about me and not their souls.

If the unity in my marriage to my wife embarrasses

me merely because of how it reflects on my outward reputation,

instead of breaking my heart because our marriage is a living,

breathing example of the relationship between Christ and His church,

and we are proclaiming a flawed gospel by not being

in one accord? Which bothers you more? Your reputation? What

people think about you? Or is this about something more?

Is this about something deeper? Do Isaac and Rebekah and

Jacob and Esau desperately need all of those things that

God says families are to do and to be?

Speaker 1: Yes, they do.

Speaker 2: But not one of them would answer their greatest need.

Their greatest need is is the intervention of Almighty God.

That's your greatest need. Because you're in a messed up family.

You're in a messed up family. You come from a

messed up family. Sir, you're a messed up father. And

if that's news to you, you really messed up. Ma'am,

you're a messed up wife and a messed up mother.

And you've got messed up kids. Boys, you're messed up sons. Girls,

you're messed up daughters. Every last one of you. I

don't care how many times people come up to you

in a restaurant and brag on how well behaved you

are compared to all the other pagans who have no discipline.

You're a messed up son. You're a messed up daughter.

And you need Jesus. And your mom and your dad,

they correct you. They train you. They discipline you again

and again and again. Because they're being obedient to God.

Speaker 1: And prayerfully.

Speaker 2: Because they understand. That it is a means of grace

that God uses in your life. And their desire is

for you to be saved. I know we all want

to go crawl up under something. But here's the good news.

God uses messed up families. And when I look at

the end of Genesis chapter 25, here's what I hear.

Speaker 1: Hey, Rhodey.

Speaker 2: You're messed up. But trust me, I've seen worse. I've

used worse. Which is good news in two ways. Because

number one, Votie is bad off as you think you are.

You still think too much of yourself and you're worse

than you think you are. So it's good news to

you that I've seen worse than you think. Because you

are worse than you think. Number one. Secondly, it's good

news to you because that's evidence of my grace, my mercy,

my long-suffering, and the plans that I have. If I

believe that the only plans that God had for me

was to give me outward, obedient children and an outwardly

attractive marriage, I'd find something else to do.

Speaker 1: But I'm believing God for souls.

Speaker 2: I'm believing God for souls in this generation. I'm believing

God for souls in the next generation. I'm believing God

for souls. I'm believing that God has called me to

himself and given me the gospel because he intends to

use me to that end. I'm believing that God has

sent children into my home because I understand the gospel

and he intends to use me to that end. All

the little pieces of progress that we see, they're wonderful.

Speaker 1: They are.

Speaker 2: They really are. And I thank God for every one

of them.

Speaker 1: I do.

Speaker 2: I thank God for every act of obedience from one

of our children. I thank God for every act of

submission from my wife. I thank God for every piece

of understanding that he gives me as a husband. Because

I recognize that all of that is gravy. And it's

God smiling on me. And nothing else. God's been good.

And He continues to be good. And it is my

prayer that I will see Him be good to me,

to my children, and to my children's children, and should

He tarry, to my children's children's children. And that I

would not dare stand up before my great-great-grandchildren and say,

your great-great-grandfather Votie, learned a few parenting techniques, tweaked a

few things generations ago, and as a direct result of that,

you all have, no, you can have that. God saved me.

God saved my life. God gifted me with her. God

gifted us with children. And by His mercy used us

in spite of ourselves so that generations from now there

will be people who bear both our name and His.

That's the testimony I'm living for. The testimony of the

glorious grace of God and the gospel that changes lives

from the inside out. Would you bow with me?