1 HOUR Of Guys' DESPERATE Attempts To Get "LUCKY" (Compilation)

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Speaker 1: What's the most desperate thing you've done just to get lucky?

Does the opposite also count? I was coach surfing at

some girl's place in winter. She had me sleep on

the floor right next to her bed and her house

was really badly insulated, so I was freezing with just

a thin mat and light sleeping bag. I wasn't really

attracted to her, but lord did her thick duvet and

large double bed look inviting. So I put on my

best seduction mode and it worked. I got upgraded to business.

So that's the most desperate time I got lucky for

a bit of warmth.

Speaker 2: Story two.

Speaker 1: When I just turned 18, I went to a nightclub

for the first time and wasn't really sure how to

approach girls, so I was just dancing kind of wildly

for ages and eventually an old lady in her late

30s thought I was cute.

Speaker 2: Or something and started dancing with me.

Speaker 1: We went to a table to talk and she kept

talking crap about her ex, so I was just kind

of listening and saying encouraging stuff. At some point, I

was getting another round of drinks and her friend gave

me some sort of a warning. They didn't understand saying

not her and I didn't really get what she meant,

so I ignored it. Eventually, she asked me to get

back to her place and when we got there, I

wasn't really sure what would be appropriate or inappropriate, so

kind of waited for her to make the first move

and we ended up sitting on the couch and kissing

a bit. I was taking it really slow and she

mentioned something about that which I finally took as a

hint that it was safe to move on to the

next base. But when I started, she randomly mentioned something

about meeting her family and I was like, oh, I

thought this was a more casual thing. I wasn't interested

in actual dating because she was way older than me.

Speaker 2: And she was like, Oh my god, all men are

the same.

Speaker 1: I started crying and then I stayed with her the

rest of the night just talking and trying to comfort

her and then in the morning, she showed me her

enormous collection of dolphin toys and said I was really

nice and then I left. So yeah, that was my

first unsuccessful attempt at trying to get lucky. My friend

told me I should have just lied and told her

I would love to meet her family in order to

get lucky and we had an argument about how unethical

that would have been.

Speaker 2: Story 3 I'm about to put all you mugs to shame.

Speaker 1: Dressed in only my shoes, silk garments, a coat, and gloves,

I stole my brother's car to go see my girl.

I jumped back the fence and went to the back

door to knock for her to let me in. Her

bum fell asleep and didn't hear me knocking, but her

cousin did and thought someone was trying to break in

and they called the cops. I should now explain that

they lived in a neighborhood where they were the only

family that wasn't cops, so our response time was ridiculous.

So I see police lights and think, crap, they need

to run. As soon as I flip over the fence,

they fall. I stand up to have ten guns pointed

at me by all their neighbors. I'm trying to explain

what I'm doing, which is really hard when you have

no shirt on, silk garments, a cowboy's triple thigh goose,

and OJ's gloves on.

Speaker 2: They cuff my bum and haul me out to the front.

Speaker 1: When my girl's parents see me, they burst out laughing,

identify me, and tell the neighbors or cops to let

me go. One cop throws me in the back of

the cruiser and rips my bum for being so stupid

and letting me know I could have got shot.

Speaker 2: Everything he said was true, all for intimacy.

Speaker 1: Luckily, we've been married for almost 28 years, so we

got that going for us.

Speaker 2: Story four.

Speaker 1: I was studying abroad in Sweden for a few years

when I was 20 to 21. One winter night, I

met a girl at the club and we walked back

to her place. It was a university town, so the

student neighborhoods were all pretty close. Her apartment was about

a third of a mile from mine. Things start to

heat up in her bedroom and she asks if I

have protection. I don't. She checks and she doesn't either.

I know I have some back in my apartment, but

no way to get them without going home. I ask

her if I can run and grab one. She'd take

10 minutes tops.

Speaker 2: She agrees.

Speaker 1: I throw on my clothes and go to the door

to put on my shoes, but I can't find them.

It's night, I've been drinking, and in Sweden, a lot

of these student apartments have everyone's shoes near the door

because it's standard to not wear them inside. I just say,

screw it, and go outside in my socks. Remember back

when I said it's a winter night in Sweden? Well,

it's snowing, and it has been all week. There's snow everywhere,

and I'm in my socks, so I run as fast

as I can the third of a mile back to

my apartment, in my socks, in the snow. I return

with a protection out of breath, freezing cold, and my

legs are soaking wet. I dried off and jumped in bed.

I got lucky, so worth it, I guess. Story five.

My friends and I were out dancing when we hit

it off with another group. We hang out all night,

alternating between dares and shots, before we asked this gorgeous

woman what the two of us were doing tomorrow.

Speaker 2: Her face lit up and exclaimed, We're going to my church!

Speaker 1: Being a person of principle, I gave her my details,

and sure enough, she showed up at my door at

8 in the morning to give me a ride to

her church.

Speaker 2: We attended services, and in all it was weird.

Speaker 1: There were club lights, a rock band, a preacher guy

who talked for an hour about a guy hiding in

a granary, and being naive, I assumed that as a

newcomer I'd be introduced to people or at least welcomed,

which didn't happen. And by the time it was all over,

we were too late to grab a decent brunch, so

I ended up at Panera. The whole thing was off-putting,

and needless to say, she and I only repeated this

for ten more weeks before I stopped going.

Speaker 2: Story six.

Speaker 1: When I was just out of high school, my ex-girlfriend's

mom was always on her case about being home by 10.30pm.

It made it tough to, you know, get to business

in the early hours, so that sucked. However, her dad

was chill as hell and let her roam free. Her

mom didn't drive, so she would always ask me for rides. Well,

on a Saturday night, I'd pick up my girlfriend and

her mom, then go pick up her mom's friend. Then

I'd take her mom and the friend to a dive

bar so her mom could go cheat on her dad.

Speaker 2: If her mom was out cheating, my girlfriend was free

all night.

Speaker 1: So, around 7 a.m., I'd drop her off at home,

and we'd see her mom stumbling down the block, coming

home to with messed up hair.

Speaker 2: This often led to fights between the two of them.

It happened more.

Speaker 1: Than 15 times in the year I dated that girl.

At one point, her dad found out his wife was

cheating somehow, and he asked me if I knew anything.

I had to play dumb and I felt super guilty

because he was cool. Nice dude, he didn't deserve that.

There was another incident where her brother harmed their mom

when he found out she was cheating. The show Shameless

was pretty popular on TV at the time. During that relationship,

I always felt like their family's dysfunction was similar to

the Gallagher's.

Speaker 2: Story 7.

Speaker 1: The very first time, just after turning 17 for sure,

texting a classmate and out of nowhere she mentions her

parents are gone for the night. I jokingly say I

should come over and then she actually agreed, which I

was not at all prepared for. It was January and

pouring rain and 11.30pm, but I thought nothing of it

and immediately threw on some clothes, snuck out of the

house and hopped on my bicycle and pedaled four miles

to her house for what was in my mind at

the time, my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Lol. So I got there

and yada yada yada. I came down with pneumonia after

that and was out of school for a week. Story aid.

Speaker 2: Met a girl while I was working, gave me her number.

Speaker 1: She started sending me all these sexy texts and photos,

told me to come around and try out her new bed. Anyway, unfortunately,

I happened to get kidney stones that day. Too many

energy drinks, apparently. I pretended I was fine and began

driving to her house. Almost passed out. Don't remember what

happened next, but I guess at some point I went

to hospital. Got in extreme pain and put on painkillers

for some complication, etc. It was a day later I

realized I'd accidentally ghosted her. She blocked my number and

I never saw her again. My advice, don't ignore medical

stuff over intimacy. Story 9. This story isn't about me directly,

but my cousin. We were on a camping trip and

he started chatting a girl at the campground. He worked

in his charm all day and went to the dance

with her that night, hoping to impress her. We were

both young. Later that night, I noticed he wasn't around

the campfire. Around 1am, he came running back into our camp, wide-eyed,

out of breath, and in a panic. I asked him

what happened and he blurted it out. Man, she's interested

but she wants me to use protection. Given our age,

we obviously didn't have protection on hand, so we frantically

started looking for something he could use in place of one.

The best we could come up with was an empty

bread bag and a bread tie. He took both and

ran off into the night. Shortly after, he came sulking

back to the camper. She, predictably, wasn't interested in his

makeshift solution. To this day, I still give him a

hard time about that, and I even call him a

corndog because of it. Story 10. This was in 2021.

I was an attractive, young, very in-shape guy, and I

was sleeping with girls far below my usual standards. I

mainly used Tinder and was always bluntly upfront about what

I was looking for. A one-night stand or friends with

benefits situation.

Speaker 2: I was also very lazy about it.

Speaker 1: If a girl wanted me to take her out on

a date before intimacy, I wasn't interested. If she wanted

to meet for a drink beforehand, I wasn't interested. Essentially,

it was either you show up at my place for intimacy,

or if you live close enough, I'd go to yours.

Some might call that schmucky, but I was always honest

about it, and it was always consensual between two adults. Naturally,

that type of laziness limits your dating pool quite a bit,

no matter how good your profile looks. Some weeks, I'd

meet with four different girls. Some weeks, it was just

texting on Snapchat. The most desperate encounter was my first

one after getting out.

Speaker 2: Of a relationship.

Speaker 1: A few months went by and I finally thought, damn,

I need to get some. I hopped back on Tinder

and matched with what appeared to be a cougar who

wanted to fool around. I ended up driving about 30

minutes into a nearby city, further than my normal range,

to meet this woman at a bar, also breaking my

rule for meeting for a drink beforehand. She was around

53 years old. I was 26 at the time and

did not look at all like her photos. I still

went through with it, figured I might as well.

Speaker 2: But damn.

Speaker 1: That was one of the worst encounters of my life.

She very much just starfished on me, and no matter

what I did, she sounded like she was in pain.

I was genuinely afraid her neighbors would think she was

being harmed because her sounds were legitimately yells of fear

or pain. You know that scene in Spider-Man where the

Green Goblin blows up Ame's room and she's crying?

Speaker 2: It was like that.

Speaker 1: I don't always finish normally, so I definitely didn't finish,

which women often take the wrong way. Regardless, and unfortunately,

she cuddled up on me in bed, and I lay

there for about 30 minutes until I had the courage

to put my clothes on and leave. I walked out

into the fall night, regretting everything about it. I even

ended up getting sick a few days later, probably from her.

Moral of the story, kids, quality over quantity. Story 11.

This story is actually about my best friend and roommate.

There was a girl I went to high school with

who dropped out because, as she very proudly stated, she

seduced a 35-year-old man on a family camping trip and

got pregnant. And yes, he was apparently married and already

had kids of his own. She became a bit of

a cliché, becoming a street worker who traveled all over

the local island area, dancing. This included towns sometimes three

to four hours away. While my friend was at the club,

he met her. While chatting her up, she spun him

a sob story along the lines of, I'd love to

go out with you, but I can't because I'm too busy,

but I'm dancing up in Xtown next weekend. You could

come get me after my shift and drive me back

home and we could hang out on the drive. So,

one Saturday night, he loaded up, drove about three hours

up island to the town to pick her up at

3am when her shift was over. She promptly fell asleep

immediately in the car, slept the entire drive, and then

wouldn't let him come inside her place because my kid

is sleeping and I don't want them to wake up.

He did this eight more times. The drive lengths varied,

but they were always more than two hours. Every single time,

she'd get in the car and immediately fall asleep. Finally,

he convinced her to meet him sometime during the daytime

and he finally got lucky. Right afterwards, she started talking

about how he had to leave because her boyfriend was

showing up soon. He then drove her three more times

before finally convinced him to stop by pointing out that

he had spent over $ 1, 000 just on gas money for her.

Speaker 2: Story 12.

Speaker 1: This girl and I were making out heavily when she

abruptly stopped and said, I don't have intimacy unless I'm

in a relationship. I acknowledged and we continued making out.

She wasn't pretty at all to me, but hey, it's

all pink in the middle, right? Anyway, after about 30

more minutes, I stopped her and asked her to be

my girlfriend. She excitedly agrees and we go round and

round for the next three hours. Both of us are exhausted, sweaty,

and lay in the bed. I look over at her

and say, I'm breaking up with you. She was furious.

Grabbed her crap and left her car. Never heard from

her again. Story 13. I once got put out on

standby for a day so I got a free plane ticket.

I gave it to a lady that I wanted to

have relations with. She came out to Cali.

Speaker 2: Didn't get any.

Speaker 1: I have a feeling my roommates sabotaged me though. The

night before the ticket receiver came, my roommate wanted to

watch a movie and snuggled me, which was really strange.

I'm obviously horrible at seeing the signals when women are

into me. She was really attractive. Roommate called me an

idiot when the ticket receiver got out of her cab.

I kick myself to this day about that. All around failure.

Story 14. I did a desperate thing for a friend.

After a brutal breakup with his cheating ex, I took

him on a trip to Japan. One night we were

at a bar when two Americans walked in. A solid

10 out of 10 woman and a guy who turned

out to be very, very gay.

Speaker 2: You can see where this is going.

Speaker 1: I legitimately wingmaned the hell out of that night, putting

more effort into getting them together than I've ever put

into anything for myself.

Speaker 2: Well, it worked.

Speaker 1: I gave my friend the keys to my rented apartment

and then left together, but now I was sitting in

this random bar at 10pm with this very, very not

gay dude. So I explained the situation to him as

nicely as possible, which he did not like. He demanded

I do something or he'd go and tell his friend,

ruining everything. Anyway, we came to an agreement. If I

kissed him, he'd let it slide and wouldn't ask for more.

So I did, and all it did was confirm that

I am indeed not gay. My friend still doesn't know

about this, but he did get lucky, and I got

sympathy drinks and a new friendship from the bartender who

witnessed the whole thing. Story 15. There was a woman

that I met online and started talking to during the lockdown.

She lived upstate but was moving close to my city

in a few weeks. We were planning to meet when

she moved. About a week before the move, we were

on FaceTime, and she was dancing intimately, talking about how

she wished I was there. I'm not a fan of

teasing at all. It makes me want to go at

it right away, so... I booked a flight to her

the following day, and she let me stay with her.

When I got there, she was super nervous around me.

I'm guessing it started to click to her how crazy

it was to invite basically a stranger into her house.

Speaker 2: So all the tension and energy we had was non-existent

while I was there.

Speaker 1: She eventually got super excited one morning and invited me

to have intimacy, but at.

Speaker 2: That point, it was over it all.

Speaker 1: So I risked catching sickness to fly to a woman

I never met to end up not doing anything.

Speaker 2: Story 16.

Speaker 1: The girl I was seeing at the time attended a

small Catholic college that was at the top of a

small mountain. The way up is mostly residential.

Speaker 2: Homes in a nearly all-white neighborhood, and here.

Speaker 1: I was, a rather tall, bothered brown man, hoofing it

at 10pm, on my way to help a young college

girl find God and discover all manner of sin. Mind you,

I had to take an hour bus drive from my house,

since I didn't drive. The main road leads up to

the mountain and stops at the college. It's about 10.45pm

when I make it to this point, as it is

a rather long way. Just off the main road sits

the building where the nuns live. All the windows were

dark and the place was silent, but my Catholic guilt

nearly had my bum turning back around.

Speaker 2: Of course, a different outpost won out and I crept

past the building.

Speaker 1: Further up the road, there is a security booth and

there is always someone stationed inside, but it sits on

an incline and there is a way to scale the

hill it sits on. So you come around behind the

booth and end up on the college, and that's what

I did. What I did know while I was attempting

to scale this hill at 11pm was that behind it

is a small prayer area with a few wooden benches

and a 15-foot cross upon which Jesus was looking down

at me. judging me for my intention to defile one

of his daughters. Again, my Catholic guilt had me wanting

to repent in the rain like Shawshank. Again, the little

grim and worm tongue in my jeans urged me forth.

I made it to the top of the hill and

I darted past the security booth, finding a dimly lit

area to hide in while I texted my girl to

come grab me. About five minutes later, I was in

her dorm room and all was well. I walked out

the following morning, renewed and refreshed. I even waved at

the security guard in his booth on my way down

the road. Story 17. I faked an Irish accent for

a month, only when I was around a particular girl.

Another time, when I was meeting a prospective girlfriend, I

invited my romantic rival's ex out to the pub so

she could vent about his trashy behavior. To be fair,

that was more of a fair warning, but I can't

say my motives were entirely selfless. I maxed out my

credit card, taking a lass from the UK to Paris

after her boyfriend cheated on her with her cousin. It

was a long weekend and cost nearly 2,000 pounds. It

didn't exactly work out romantically. We had a great, strictly

platonic time, but her best friend became smin after that

and hunted me down like a starving dog following a rabbit.

I even went skydiving with a girl once, despite being

terrified of heights. I'm talking full-on vertigo, loss of orientation

and balance. I actually passed out halfway down. Luckily, we

were tandem jumping with instructors. I need to stress these

incidents happened in my teens and early 20s. They did,

and eventually mature, mostly. Story 18. My friend and I

went out drinking heavily one night, and she was getting

a lot more guys' numbers or social media than I

got women's numbers. So at closing, I took her home

like I usually do, but I was too intoxicated to

get home myself. She offered that I sleep it off

in her place. She made me sleep on her living

room floor because her couches were too small. I complained

about it like a little crap all night, not letting

her sleep until she told me to sleep in her

bed and she'll sleep on her living room floor for me.

I then complained that I don't usually sleep alone in

a room since I've always shared a room with my

brothers or pets, so we made our way back to

her bed and we cuddled and then things took off

from there. I didn't want to have intimacy with her

when I took her out, but I was envious that

she could get more chances than I could that night,

so I thought the next best thing would be to

have intimacy with a person who had a better shot

at meeting someone than me.

Speaker 2: If you're enjoying the.

Speaker 1: Video, don't forget to hit that subscribe and like button

for more videos like this. Story 19. I was visiting

a friend in another city and decided to hop on Tinder.

It had been a long time since I had been

with anybody, and it matched with somebody who was very

into the proposal, so I bent over backwards for it.

I ended up inviting her over to my friend's house

without their permission, bailing on plans with him and not

properly disclosing to his roommates who happened to be there

still what I had going on, and we had intimacy

in a glorified shoe closet. Needless to say, I had

a bunch of people very angry with me and our

friendships crumbled. Story 20. Oh my god, since we're all

talking about eye stories... I drove 30 minutes when I

was 16 in my dad's 2002 Prodigy 5 to get some.

I picked her up and we went to a park,

and while we were getting it on, we got swathed

in a blizzard. We decided to stop so we could

at least make it back to her house. Mind you,

it was dark, like 9pm. So we started heading back

and it was my first time driving in snow, full honesty.

Just leaving the park, I was going maybe 20 and

went to stop for a turn at a roundabout, but

this sucker didn't stop, just kept sliding. I was able

to turn a little and hit my passenger side tire hard.

Screwing up some steering links. And keys that my dad

said were worth more than his car. An A-arm, suspension,

and the calipers. That was 20 hours of labor and

like $ 500 worth of parts down the drain for a gump.

Story 21. I'm 21. Solo backpacking through SE Asia. A

moderately attractive Thai girl noticed me in a club in Phuket.

She smiled at me, grabbed my arm, and led me out.

Speaker 2: Of the club. She asked for my scooter keys and

I gave them to her. I rode in the back

as she took me who knows where.

Speaker 1: She stopped in front of a small convenience store, pointed,

and said the only English words from that night. Rubber.

Speaker 2: Good for you. Good for me.

Speaker 1: I bought protection and let her drive me to her sketchy,

run-down high-rise. She took a picture of the scooter license

plate for an unknown reason. We entered the room to

find not much more than an actress in a corner

and a hot plate on the floor. I hid my keys, phone,

and wallet throughout the apartment in case someone arrived to

shake me down in the middle of the night. I

sent a GPS pin to my friend in case something happened.

We had mediocre intimacy, which she fell asleep in.

Speaker 2: The middle of.

Speaker 1: Didn't get robbed. Ten out of ten would risk my

life again. Story 22. I was on the receiving end

of the desperation. It was summer and my car's AC

wasn't working so the windows were down. I'm pretty heavily

tattooed and had my two kids. They were seven and

four at the time in the back as we were

coming from a local swimming hole. The car on my

left stayed pretty even with mine down the drive. I

didn't think anything of it because of traffic and all.

We came into our town and asked the kids if

they wanted something to eat and then hit the longest

red light in town before heading to the store. The

guy in the car that was staying even with me

parked his car, got out and came to my window.

Speaker 2: Seeing this, I rolled up the kids' windows.

Speaker 1: He then proceeded to tell me he hadn't had a

chance to sleep with a chick with tons of tattoos

and asked if I was willing to follow him to

a local hotel, promising to show me a good time.

I didn't know how to respond because I'd been married

for a while before that. I wasn't expecting it. and

we were at a red light, so I did what

I could think of. I smiled, grabbed my phone out

of my purse, pre-dialed 911, and when he got back

into his car, thinking I was going to follow him,

I told the kids we were going to take a detour.

I acted like I got behind him, then turned onto

the street with a police station and parked there for

about 10 minutes. I played I Spy so they weren't

aware of what was going on as I texted my husband,

who met me there and followed me home.

Speaker 2: Story 23. Desperate? Maybe this one. When I was 21

and stationed in Cali, I was dating.

Speaker 1: An 18-year-old high school senior who lived with her parents

in the same apartment complex. She had a curfew, so

we had always had to do our thing early so

she could get home for homework or chores and avoid

being grounded. Weekends meant she could stay until 11pm, but

one night after we'd had our fun and had had

a few drinks, I wanted more.

Speaker 2: She had to go home.

Speaker 1: So I'm sitting in the living room, bothered as a

three-peckered billy goat, front windows open when a neighbor lady

stopped by. Her front door was always standing wide open

and the other roommates were chilling outside. This 39-year-old mother

of two, Lisa, walked in and asked where Randy, her roommate, was.

I said... Do I look like his keeper? To which

he aptly replied, Screw you then. My conversation followed. Me.

Speaker 2: Screw you, Lisa. Lisa. No, screw you. Smiling. Me. No, no, no.

Screw you. Lisa.

Speaker 1: When? Me. Now. Lisa.

Speaker 2: Making midnight?

Speaker 1: Me.

Speaker 2: I'll see you then.

Speaker 1: Lisa.

Speaker 2: My door will be unlocked. And she left our place.

Speaker 1: Heading toward her apartment. Midnight rolled around and I headed

to her door and tried the knob.

Speaker 2: It was locked.

Speaker 1: Now, she and I had never even hinted at wanting

to fool around, but I was mostly inebriated and excited,

and she did invite me. Her two boys were asleep,

I assumed, and the apartment was dark. She invited me

and must have forgotten to leave the door unlocked, right?

Lisa was smoking hot, by the way. Long black hair,

brown eyes, about 5'8, with D-cups and hourglass flashbacks.

Speaker 2: Figure.

Speaker 1: The former Wisconsin farm girl should now run from her

life in SoCal. Every man in the complex stared at

her at the pool while trying not to get busted

by their wives doing so.

Speaker 2: She was worth this.

Speaker 1: So, I went downstairs, since we all lived on the

second floor anyway, ran to the backside of her building,

climbed the privacy fence of her downstairs neighbor, stood up

on top of this wooden fence and reached up to

her balcony railing. I pulled myself up to her balcony,

over the railing and tried the sliding door.

Speaker 2: It opened. I then found her asleep on her bed,

dressed in a sexy white lace nightie. I then kissed her.

Speaker 1: Thank goodness she woke up easily and actually smiled instead

of screaming, but she said, Hello. I told her their

front door was locked and she apologized but wondered how

I got into her bedroom. I told her, she laughed,

and we enjoyed what I was invited there to do.

For those wondering, I still had my young girlfriend, but

that woman who had me over late at night for

months after my girlfriend went home always reminded me, I'm

old enough to be your mother.

Speaker 2: 18 years between us.

Speaker 1: To which I usually replied, Yeah, but I'm called a

mother trucker pretty often on base, so maybe not desperate,

but felt like it needed to be shared here. Story 24.

So there was this guy in college who lived with

his mom. She was a very large, very angry, and

very strict woman from Samoa. She was 6'4, had been

to jail many times, and was known to start parking

lot brawls. One night, the guy asked me to come

over because his mom was working a night shift and

he'd meet me at.

Speaker 2: The front door. I got there and called him.

Speaker 1: He told me his mom had come home early because

she had a headache, but that if I came around

to his bedroom window, he'd open it and I could

sneak in. I'm only 5'3, and at the time I

was morbidly obese, but somehow my fat bum managed to

get through the window. It was a nerve-wracking experience because

neither of us wanted to wake up his mom. We

ended up having intimacy, but the entire time he was

focused on his bedroom door and making sure we stayed quiet. Well,

she ended up waking up. A hit in his closet

under a bunch of clothes and I don't think I've

ever been so scared in my life. That woman looked

like she could punch a hole through a rhino with

one hit and she was known around town for not

taking any crap.

Speaker 2: She always had to get her way. She came into

his room.

Speaker 1: She said she'd heard something and started tearing the place apart,

yelling about how he better not have brought anyone into

her house, especially a girl.

Speaker 2: When she couldn't find anything, she stormed out of the house.

Speaker 1: I then stupidly stayed for a quick one and then

crawled or got shoved back out the window.

Speaker 2: It was not a graceful landing. Story 25.

Speaker 1: Plan my vacations to involve time in countries with attractive

women and stay regulated intimate work. Not sure why anyone's

so desperate to get lucky when intimacy is so globally available.

Speaker 2: But I need it to be free so I feel desired.

Speaker 1: Women are reserved being desired for themselves, plus you don't

come close to the hottest guy she sleeps with. That's

different for men. There's no line for us. No one

wants to see that except for comic relief. Men are

measured by what they can acquire by any means necessary. Sure,

the scarcity of emotional softness allocated to men makes competition

for simple joys women take for granted a brutal struggle

for us, but You just can't expect to play the

same game as them. It's actually pretty liberating if you're

able to integrate with it.

Speaker 2: Story 26.

Speaker 1: This is really more of the dumbest or saddest things

I've done. I pretended to be a struggling alcoholic to

get pity from a married woman who was already interested

in me. To support this facade, I started drinking much

more than I usually did, which wasn't very often before then.

Speaker 2: It culminated in.

Speaker 1: Me getting crap-faced when she took me out with some

of her friends and wrapped my car around a tree.

I didn't stick around and I even had a second

car at the time. I paid a bunch of money

for a lawyer and nothing came of it legally. I'm unsure,

but a child may have come from that union as well,

given the timing of everything.

Speaker 2: That child is a teenager now.

Speaker 1: People have told me to try and figure out if

I'm the biological father in that situation, but I will not.

She has a man who is her father, whether or

not I'm the sperm donor. It wouldn't be fair for

me to just appear in her life at this point.

I had freshly gotten my bachelor's in computer science and

an associate's degree, AS in networking services, two months before

the crash. At the time, I was a retail employee

leaving with my parents and getting ready for an IT career.

That was a pivotal moment in my life because I

moved out of, back into, and then back out of

my parents' house following it. And I moved every few

months for the next three years. My nomadic phase. Also,

if you thought you had seen me drink before the

car crash, you were wrong. For the next three or

four years, that's when I really drank. Intoxicated every night.

I'm also glad no one got hurt when I crashed

my car. Several years later, I got into an apprenticeship

and I'm putting my degrees to good use doing electrical work, ironically.

I blame the 2008 recession for never getting into IT

in any capacity. though I don't know if I could

have landed a role, even temporarily. Had I not been

so focused on drinking and worried about potential criminal charges

and time leading up to the market crashing, I wish

I hadn't done any of it.

Speaker 2: Though I have learned a lot of lessons because of it.

Speaker 1: Even if it had to happen so the child could

be born, I wish I hadn't been such a cringeworthy idiot.

I wish I had seen it for what it was,

and not these delusions of grandeur that she would abandon

her life for a new one with me. I did

get lucky, however. I suspect that qualifies as the most

desperate thing. Story 27. The number of buses and trains

it took in AOL days when I was in high

school definitely reeks of desperation to me at 40. The

first one was with a girl I started talking to

on AOL before I moved to New York. I was

18 or 19 then. We'd been talking for weeks and

digital cameras were still new. We sent some pics back

and forth, but the quality wasn't great and that wasn't

unexpected at the time.

Speaker 2: Fast forward to when I finally moved.

Speaker 1: I went to meet her at her house and I

was all kinds of ready for action because it's all

we'd been talking about for weeks. She opened the door

and I realized I'd been catfished. Before catfishing was even

a term. They were just bad pics, they straight up

were not her, and instead of just leaving, it freaking stayed,

but that was just the start. I was still a

very shy guy at this point in life, with extremely

low self-esteem and no backbone whatsoever. That opened the door

for her to crawl all over me immediately, kissing me

like crazy. She noticed I wasn't into it, her apartment

was trashed and smelled. I was getting more and more

anxious and just told her I was a bit nervous

because I didn't have the guts to say, you're not

even the person.

Speaker 2: I thought you were and this is messed up. She

said she was going to loosen me up.

Speaker 1: There was lots of hand stuff and I was basically

freaking out in my head that I wanted to leave

more than anything else, but of course, the thing started

doing its own thing. Then she told me, So, I

didn't want to tell you this before because I was scared,

but my ex gave me herpes and I haven't had

an outbreak in a really long time, so we're good.

Speaker 2: I just wanted to tell you. Before I could say anything,

I jumped up.

Speaker 1: I was still too embarrassed or shy to shut all

this down and kept saying I was nervous and we

should slow down a bit.

Speaker 2: I had no way of getting back home.

Speaker 1: It was after 9pm and a city I'd never been

to and cell phones weren't a thing yet. My dad

had dropped me off and he was out of town

until the morning. I ended up sleeping in her bed

with her while she kept trying to sleep with me.

Then I kept finding different ways to say I wasn't

feeling it. It was a freaking nightmare. The next morning,

I called my dad and said, Come get me, like, now, dude.

He freaking laughed his bum off the whole way back home.

That's what you get for talking to those girls on

the internet. You're lucky it was even a woman. That

situation really changed some things for me and my personal boundaries.

Story 28 Alright, alright, screw it. This is not my

proudest moment, I'll be honest, and frankly, looking back, it's

quite embarrassing. My first crush told me she liked bad boys.

Here I am, 15, nerdy, thinking I can be her

bad boy. She's the sister of my best friend. I

would often stay the night at his house, mostly just.

Speaker 2: To be near her. Yeah. Anyway, one day she got

really close to me, watching a movie.

Speaker 1: I felt this was the best time to show her

my bad boy side.

Speaker 2: I was daydreaming of her inviting me to her room

at night, thinking I just needed to show her that side.

The doorbell rings. Pizza.

Speaker 1: I get up, offering to pay for the pizza. The

door opens. I take the pizza and stiff the driver.

Speaker 2: No tip.

Speaker 1: I walk back into the room, laughing. I honestly thought

it was cool for not tipping him. Turns out that

was not a smart move. I never got where I

wanted to with her. Now, 25 years later, I over-tip

as I still feel pretty guilty about doing that.

Speaker 2: Story 29. I once courted a guy on drag from Craigslist.

Speaker 1: This was right after a bad breakup where I became

extremely depressed and started acting out in a variety of ways. Anyway,

he looked like Ogre from Nerds, wearing a wig that

didn't fit in a dress that was more akin to

a Gam Gam's nightgown.

Speaker 2: All said and done, in about five minutes, then he

was gone.

Speaker 1: This occurred in my parents' house, where I'd just moved

back in after the breakup, specifically in my dad's office.

The next morning, he found the used protection I'd left

just hours before. Not that he would care if I

really was gay, but I wasn't about to explain to

my dad first thing in the morning what had happened

the night before, so I quickly determined he didn't know

anything besides that it had intimacy. Then blurted out that

I'd had a street worker I met over and that

I was sorry for leaving that in his office.

Speaker 2: And that was it.

Speaker 1: I didn't get mortified with embarrassment and I saved my

dad from an extremely awkward conversation with his adult son.

Speaker 2: Story 30.

Speaker 1: My roommate and I were at a bar talking up

two very mediocre women. One mentioned wanting to go swimming,

so my roomie said let's leave and go in the

new hot tub. While they were hitting the restroom before leaving,

I asked which damn hot tub he was talking about.

Speaker 2: He said go with it.

Speaker 1: We stopped and got more booze, and when we got

to my patio, my roommate got all agitated about the

hot tub that was supposed to be delivered and set

up today. The girls were intoxicated, hungry, and unhappy, but

they stayed and we suggested showers instead. Next morning, getting

them to leave was probably a bigger chore. They had

a pretty nice house at the beach. Story 31. I

met a girl off a dating app a couple of

years back. She lived about an hour bus ride from me.

I was very dumb and obviously excited, so I trekked

to their house via bus. I had FaceTimed her and

everything seemed legit. She just seemed a bit shy.

Speaker 2: I don't know.

Speaker 1: Anyway, I get to the house and they're not calling me.

The only way they're communicating is through text. She then

tells me that the house is over a fence. At

this point, I was definitely doubting the whole scenario, but

with that being said, I had trekked it this far.

Might as well jump over a fence. The thing is,

I wasn't supposed to jump over the fence. She just

said it was behind a fence.

Speaker 2: I said, I'm here.

Speaker 1: She told me the house was just behind a fence

over the phone, and so I did. Turns out I

jumped into a random property.

Speaker 2: Awkward.

Speaker 1: So I jump back over and go to the correct

house after confirming with this chick. Anyway, this part's strange

in both ends. She instructed me to remove my clothing,

and for some freaking reason, I did. Literally just outside

of the house. It was so suspicious, but for some

reason I was just like, yeah, no, guess I'm doing this.

Speaker 2: The girl then sends me a message saying, hey, I'm

actually a guy. Do you mind? I can whistle you.

My heart stopped. I didn't even reply. I just rushed

to putting my clothes on, then I just proceeded to

bolt the hell out of there. Story 32. Hey, I'm

a 26-year-old guy.

Speaker 1: I want to share a personal experience that happened during

a period of desperation and depression in my life. I

met a girl online who had a very open persona,

meaning she was very open to random intimacy. Despite living

in Mississippi, she invited me to her place in Chicago.

When I got there, I realized that her personality clashed

significantly with mine. Her behavior and the way she treated

others were off-putting, making it impossible for me to feel

any attraction towards her. She was absolutely disgusting in contrast.

to their online persona. Moreover, the things she shared about

her past encounters were unsettling. To make matters worse, she

disclosed having an STD in the past and not informing

her partners about it. This was a major red flag

for me. I decided to block her on all platforms

after returning home. I cringe looking back at this. Every

hole is no longer a goal.

Speaker 2: Story 33.

Speaker 1: I double majored in mechanical and electrical engineering back in school.

In my senior year, I took a course, and right

after it, there was another class in the same room.

Speaker 2: That I wasn't in.

Speaker 1: When my class got out, the students for the next

class would be waiting outside, and there was always this petite,

gorgeous blonde girl who would smile at me every time.

I liked her too, but I was far too nerdy

and awkward to know how to approach her. At some point,

I realized the course she was in was a senior

level aerospace engineering course. This meant that the girl had

all the aerospace books on her shelf and having access

to her would give me access to her books and

notes to browse, which I was very interested in. I

made small talk with her a couple of times before

I asked her out. She was as bothered as I

was and her notes were very clear. What's the weirdest

thing you've done hoping to get lucky? I accidentally asked

a girl on a date that lived a thousand miles away.

I'd matched her in a dating app while in business,

but didn't notice where she was from. We kept talking anyway,

and I ended up securing the date. She flew out

to see me. We dated long distance for a while,

and then I moved to be closer. We're married now.

Story 2. My girl said solving a Rubik's Cube is

so attractive, so I took a whole weekend to learn

how to do it.

Speaker 2: Couldn't wait to show her. I did at school on Monday.

She said, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1: Didn't get any play, but now I can solve a

Rubik's Cube in 30 seconds. Lol. Story 3. Definitely not

the weirdest thing, but I used to have a pretty

dumb friend. Every time she would come over, I would

run upstairs to my room and pretend I was napping.

She'd always let herself in and come up to my

room and hop in bed to wake me up. I

got lucky most of the time. I felt like if

I was sitting downstairs with my roommates when she came over,

it probably wouldn't have happened as often.

Speaker 2: Story 4.

Speaker 1: When I turned 18 in high school, this girl that

never showed the slightest interest in me began to constantly

ask to hang out. Every time we did, she asked

me to buy her cigarettes. I did so, knowing pretty

well she was just using me to get her nicotine fix.

He fooled around for several months and then, you guessed it,

she stopped showing any interest after her birthday passed.

Speaker 2: I wasn't upset. I knew the deal.

Speaker 1: I was just a glorified tobacco person. Story five. I

walked from Arlington to Dallas to lose my V-card. I

reached her house after 16 hours of walking. I didn't

have money for a taxi but had the money to

buy protection and a gym membership so I could wash

my bum before heading to her house.

Speaker 2: I got there at like 4 a.m., got to her

house at 4.30 a.m., It was.

Speaker 1: The most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her

and we had intimacy in her room. I was tired

from walking for 16 hours just to get lucky. She

was tired from worrying about me all day. I always

slept till noon the next day. When we woke up,

her mom said, go get him because she looked in

the room to see two high schoolers cuddling in bed.

Speaker 2: She didn't give us a speech.

Speaker 1: I overheard her talking to my mom over the phone saying,

if this boy walked 16 hours to sleep with my daughter,

there's nothing either of us could have done. And we

both just laughed so hard. We spent the day together

and then her mom drove me home. She gave me

a speech on the way home. My mom beat my

bum for the first time in years when I got home.

My god, the difference between black and white parenting is wild.

Speaker 2: Story six.

Speaker 1: Followed an entire season of American Idol and sat through

movies like Garden State and The Notebook over and over again.

You could have asked me anything about that season of

American Idol and I could have answered it. She had

to miss a couple episodes because she had to work

so I recorded them and gave her a rundown when

she would call me on her drive home from work.

Speaker 2: She'd come over.

Speaker 1: To my place after work and we'd watch the episode

and just fully describe to her That's the only season

of that show I've seen and I'd never watched a

single episode before I met her or after we split up.

Story 7. I can tell you the weirdest way I

got lucky. This was the military dorm in England, late 90s.

I'm just playing Starcraft, minding my own business, when there's

a knock on my door. They open it and there's

the girlfriend of a guy who lives downstairs. She says,

I really want to get some, my friend is here

with me. Can she stay with you tonight? Naturally, I

said yeah. She turns and goes to the end of

the hall and waves her friend around the corner. I'd

met her in passing once in the dorms, but never

spoke to her. She does a fast intro and pushes

her into my room. We were both standing there, kind

of awkwardly, as her friend leaves to go get some.

She turns back and says, you know, she really likes

her b * * * *, Mac, too. We looked

at each other and laughed, then closed the door. It

gets crazier because I become the de facto friend drop-off

zone for the dorm. A sort of on-call wingman for

my boys. I didn't have to do crap over the

span of a year, or they brought me three more women.

Speaker 2: Story 8.

Speaker 1: I didn't get lucky, but When I moved from middle

school to high school, a girl I had a massive

crush on told me she was going to sign up

for the culinary class. I had no interest in cooking,

but I signed up for it so I could have

a class with her. She moved away about three weeks

into the school year and it was too late for

me to switch out, so I ended up getting stuck

in culinary.

Speaker 2: I loved it and did it all four years of

high school. Story 9.

Speaker 1: The daughter of the mayor of her city was insanely

good looking. She and I were good friends in high school,

but I always felt she was way out of my league,

so I never even attempted to even ask her out.

She disappeared after high school and resurfaced about five years

later when we crossed paths in the local supermarket parking

lot where we talked for hours standing outside our cars.

She acted very interested in my conversation and she asked

me if I would like to come to her house

for dinner later that week.

Speaker 2: I eagerly agreed. The tension I felt was pretty high.

Speaker 1: I really thought I was going to finally get lucky

with this attractive woman long last. The day arrived and

I went over to her house for dinner. She fixed

a really nice meal. Afterwards, we went into her living

room where she had a dry erase board and a

stand in the living room facing where we were sitting.

After a minute or two, she stood up and started

her Amway sales pitch. She lured me to her house

to try to convince me to join Amway. I thanked

her for dinner and told her that I wasn't interested.

I was left confused and with blue jewels. Story 10.

The girl I like was sad about her friend who

was also single. Their friend couldn't get a date to

save her life. She wasn't ugly or anything, just had

no personality and was.

Speaker 2: Kind of gloomy.

Speaker 1: I told the girl I wanted to fool around that

I'd take the friend out and show her a good time.

If the girl I wanted agreed to let me do

the same after, she agreed to it. That friend was

actually really fun. We went ziplining to a fair thing

and kept the day off at the dog park with

my pup, who didn't hate her, which was shocking.

Speaker 2: She got to pet so many dogs. She was thrilled.

Speaker 1: We never had intimacy, but it would have had she

given me any signal. She was that fun. I went

out with a girl I wanted to go out with

a few days later, made a plan for a few

fun activities. When I went to her house to pick

her up, she pulled me in and we had intimacy

right away. Didn't do any of the other stuff. I

regret not sleeping with a friend or hell dating her.

The girl I wanted was not as fun and bad

as I'd imagined she'd be. Story 11. Wait in a

car for over 12 hours for her dad to leave.

It was very cold and my heater didn't work well

and I beat her from college. Her dad was in

the mafia so I had to be extra sneaky but

glad this was primarily before camera phones and doorbell cameras.

This was winter break in college and I stayed for

athletics and she was an hour away at home. He left,

I got in, slept with her into another dimension, had

breakfast with her and her mom who was my co-conspirator

and then left and went back to the dorms. We

ended up going our separate ways, but if he knew

a non-Italian was sleeping with his only baby girl, I

would probably be gone.

Speaker 2: He gave the best whistle, though. Story 12.

Speaker 1: I didn't know I was doing this, but I was

chatting with a woman from another town that was going

to pass through mine.

Speaker 2: She wanted to fool around.

Speaker 1: I'm a joker, and at some point I said she'd

have to pay me.

Speaker 2: To lay me. Just how much? I said a Happy Meal.

Speaker 1: We didn't have a McDonald's where I was at the

time and was craving it. It just popped into my

head as a joke. We agreed on our terms, we

met up, pulled around, and then I drove her back

to her vehicle. She asked me to wait, and she

went to her car and came back with a cooler,

and it was a happy meal.

Speaker 2: I laughed so much. I got home and warmed it

up and enjoyed it.

Speaker 1: She might have been sarcastic and using dry humor, but

I got the feeling we'd made an actual trade. We

chatted on and off for a few years after that,

and I never asked. She still pops on my Insta,

but I don't engage.

Speaker 2: Story 13.

Speaker 1: I was casually dating a girl from my town. I'll

call her local. I went on a ski trip with

the guys and met another girl. Her and a friend

came out for a weekend of fun with my roommate

and myself a couple weeks later. They lived about a

seven-hour drive away. A couple weeks after that local girl

wanted me to come with her to a big sale

in a town three hours away on Saturday, I agreed,

but then the out-of-town girl called me, way before cell phones,

and wanted to meet me halfway and spend the night

at a motel. The town we were to meet at

was about an hour from where I had promised a

local girl to go with her for the big sale.

I didn't want either to know about the other, so

I drove a local girl to the sale. A six-hour

drive round-trip, then... As soon as I got home, turned

around to meet an out-of-town girl. Another four-hour drive. It

was near midnight before I got to where she was staying,

and I knew which hotel, but not the room number.

No cell phone, so I couldn't phone her, and the

office was closed with only an emergency phone number, as

they were booked full. So I went around room to room,

quietly knocking on room doors and whispering her name until

I found the room she was in. No, I would

not do that again. Story 14. I kind of half-boned

pursued this girl I knew. I had met her a

long time before, but I was married. After I got divorced,

I caught up with her through a friend. I worked

afternoon shift, so that didn't go out much. She was

a single mom, so she said she was likely up

if I was driving home. I wasn't a fan of

drinking coffee late at night, but I did for a

while because I got to hang out with her.

Speaker 2: We hung out for a while, but didn't want to

mess it up. Then one New Year's Eve after the party,

I made a move on her.

Speaker 1: 25 years later and four kids, we're still together. The

child she originally had calls me dad. One of my

finest moments of life when she called me that. Story 15.

Stayed in that one tennis class. A gorgeous petite blonde, Charlottesville,

we organically teamed up for our last day and beat

the tennis club president and his buddy. Never got to

tell her how it felt. Met her at a karaoke

again six months later. She came home with me, but

I was too intoxicated to perform. Still had a great time,

never to be followed up. Come to find out, years later,

she drank some hand sanitizer and went to the hospital

to get her stomach pumped. They were successful, but didn't

treat her throat, which was getting eaten away by remaining

alcohol elements in the esophagus. She passed away on the

way to the hospital, complaining of breathing problems and a

sore throat.

Speaker 2: Story 16.

Speaker 1: I drove a friend to a community event, possibly a

food or shrimp festival that was hosted by the police.

They were both 18 and I anticipated a fun, lighthearted evening. However,

while I was watching the band, my friend was mistreated

by two officers in a secluded area behind the portable restrooms.

I took her home immediately so she could rest. and

recover it was a deeply upsetting experience for both of

us and i felt terrible about the entire situation it's

understandable that she never pursued justice reporting such an incident

to the very institution involved can be incredibly daunting and

there's the added fear of not knowing who would be

supportive and who might be complicit later i learned that

one of the officers involved was found while off duty

outside a club Story 17. I took a bus to

another city to spend time with someone who was 15

to 20 years older than me. We decided to take

a walk in the dense forest-like park where after some

time of walking, I kissed her. We kept kissing deeply

after every few steps. After some time, it was difficult

to resist for both of us. We decided it was

getting dark so we should leave back to the city

center from where I could look for a transport back

to my city. I missed my last bus to return

home so she asked me to stay over. She had

her daughter at home which was a bit awkward since

her daughter was only a few years younger than me.

Speaker 2: They lived in a single bedroom apartment.

Speaker 1: The bedroom was occupied by the daughter, and I crashed

in the sofa bed in the living room, where we

spent time watching some random movie, waiting for her daughter

to sleep. After her daughter went to sleep, she gave

me a whistle in the kitchen, since that was the

farthest from the bedroom. We couldn't have intimacy that night

due to her daughter, but we decided to meet next

time at my place. But that never happened. Story 18.

Drove an hour and a half to the wrong side

of Philly. To be fair, I was still a little

intoxicated from the night before and was just, eh, sure.

Turned out to be highly fixated to online gay microtransactions. Like,

she was a nurse, made good money, spent it all

on cosmetics and other stuff. Was not afraid to show

me how much. Also tried to give me an unopened

Razer Black Widow chroma keyboard. Mind you, this was essentially

a one-night stand. Big red flags. I tried to pursue

a relationship anyway, but got sent to Ohio for a

month for work, and I'm not the greatest when it

comes to texting. She was crazy and just started going

off on me for not immediately texting back, even at work.

Story 19. Does skeptically getting lucky count? So, I was

playing World of Warcraft about two decades ago, and there

was this older woman in my guild. She was from

the other side of the planet. The officers in my

guild had my phone number because I had a rare

crafting recipe, and they'd periodically text me to see if

I could get online and craft the item for people. Anyway,

one day, this older woman in my guild told me

that she was going to fly to America and jump me,

and I was like, yeah, right. So, about a month later,

my phone rings at 2am.

Speaker 2: Local number. My answer.

Speaker 1: A very familiar New Zealand accent on the other end.

Speaker 2: I am at your local airport. Come pick me up.

Speaker 1: I drove to the airport, picked her up, and she

lived at my house for a month and a half

where we did nothing but order takeout, fooled around, and

played World of Warcraft. Then she bought me an Xbox,

flew home, and we never talked again. Story 20. I

was clubbing with my sister and got nothing all night.

I called a cab and started driving home and I

was super intoxicated. Well, I saw some hotties walking down

the street and one of them danced with me at

the club, so I got out of the cab to

ask them to come back for drinks. The cab was

going 45 miles per hour at the time. It hurt,

but I was a strong guy. Rushed it off, asked

them back, and my sister was screaming, Get back in

this cab! And can you believe it? They wouldn't even

talk to me. Rolled out of a moving vehicle, and

they wouldn't even acknowledge my existence.

Speaker 2: Gall.

Speaker 1: I did not get lucky that night, but you can't

say I didn't try. Story 21. I guess it was

more weird to me than it actually being weird. But

I literally got lucky by a girl at my friend's

party because she found my jokes funny. Even though all

the jokes I told were ones my intoxicated friend was

growing up because of him being intoxicated. I was basically

his translator and the sober girl out of the group.

Five guys, eight girls, found it to be so attractive.

It was honestly the weirdest way I've ever turned on someone.

Story 22. I was set up with a girl who

had a terminal illness. She was the best friend of

a classmate whom I had known since the second grade,

so most of my childhood. The classmate had a minor

crush on me, and her friend was, because of her illness, homeschooled. Basically,

a dropout, because what was the point? The girl never

had a chance to meet a boy.

Speaker 2: Blah, blah, blah. My classmate thought it was a good fit.

Speaker 1: I befriended the girl, and although it was never spoken aloud,

this girl wanted intimacy before she passed away. It felt

odd at the time, and I was pretty immature, but

I went along with it. I became a parent pretty

quickly that I lacked emotional maturity. I found her very attractive,

and I actually thought she was very sweet, but I

couldn't deal with it.

Speaker 2: I remained her good friend. She got lucky. Hated it.

Speaker 1: Ended up having a fling one weekend. Very random, with

a lot less pressure. It seemed to be a reciprocal success,

and she passed away a year later. Side quest, my

next partner was a 29-year-old who taught me a lot.

In a month's time, I was a 2000% better lover,

and the weirdest regret in my life was not being

a better lover to the younger girl.

Speaker 2: Story 23.

Speaker 1: When I was 20, my parents and younger brother had

gone away for the weekend, so I invited my girlfriend

over to her house for a night of passion. I

had this great idea of dragging a mattress onto the

roof so we could make love under the stars. I

dragged the mattress through a second floor window and up

a sloping section of the roof.

Speaker 2: The roof was corrugated metal with bolts sticking out in

the corrugations every meter or so.

Speaker 1: As I finally got the mattress on top of the roof,

I started slipping down the sloping roof in bare feet.

I slipped about six or seven meters and stopped at

the gutter on the first floor. My girlfriend, who was

watching me, saw it and went and got a few

towels and I wrapped up my feet. Then climbed off

the roof and she drove me to the closest hospital

to have my feet sewn up. Having anesthetic injections into

the soles of my feet remains the most painful experience

of my life. I went home with my feet wrapped

up and still had intimacy. I told my mom what

happened the next day as the mattress was still on

the roof. I never spoke of it again. I'm 48

now and I haven't thought about that for a long time.

Speaker 2: Story 24.

Speaker 1: I hopped onto a 10-hour night train as a 17-year-old

to a town I'd never been in to see a

girl I'd only chatted online for a few months. We

started the conversation because she had a picture from a

festival I'd also been at where we'd been right next

to each other in the crowd and both had a

picture of the show taken literally at the same time.

We continued long-distance dating for two-ish years after seeing each

other for the first time, visiting each other once a month,

then moved in together. We got as far as being

engaged but broke up after like six to seven years.

I don't regret it one bit. I learned a lot

about life and about myself during that relationship. Story 25

After going through a severe bout of depression after my

first marriage ended, I started going to a therapy group

dealing with breakups and depression.

Speaker 2: This was a goldmine. Slept my way through the group,

then switched days or locations.

Speaker 1: That was a long time ago and my heart was

broken and I didn't care who I hurt.

Speaker 2: I was a schmuck.

Speaker 1: In my late teens, my buddy and I would go

to a bar dressed in scrubs, had fake badges, stethoscopes,

told girls who were med students.

Speaker 2: Amazing how many girls.

Speaker 1: Will let you check them while checking their heartbeat. We

finally got busted by a nurse. If you're enjoying the video,

don't forget to hit that subscribe and like button for

more videos like this. Story 26 When I was 15,

there was a girl living on the other side of

the city.

Speaker 2: I can't remember how we met.

Speaker 1: I went to her place every weekend for six months,

even though she gave me zero indication of liking me.

She had a weird personality, but had a nice body.

One of those weekends, she told me she liked bad boys,

and I tried to act the part, but it didn't

work out to make her interested in me. Then I

got tired of chasing her. ghosted her, focusing my energy

on other things. A friend of hers called me, told

me to go to her place, her friends, for a chat.

When I arrived, the girl I liked waited in her bedroom,

wrapped in a towel. Apparently ignoring her was the turn-on

she needed. My brain signed off and we started kissing

and whatnot, whilst her friend was watching. After we did

the deed, she asked me if I had money because

she wanted to get spiked and her boyfriend wouldn't come

back until later in the afternoon with whatever she wanted

to get spiked with. I looked around the room and

that's when I realized both these girls were users. The

weird personality traits and everything else that didn't fit in

the picture made sense in that post-clarity. I bolted out

of the place as soon as I could and never

looked back. Story 27. Flew across the country. Became single, unexpectedly,

after about six months.

Speaker 2: I was not ready today yet, but I was super stimulated.

Speaker 1: Years prior, I had a coworker who aggressively hit on

me after a work party, even though I wasn't single.

I gently rebuffed her attempt. She also moved across the

country after leaving my company. I DM'd her social media

with some flirty comments. She responded in kind. I told

her I'd be in her city in a couple of

months and asked, could I come over and see you?

Speaker 2: She said yes.

Speaker 1: So I booked a trip to that city, went to

her place. After one and a half hours of awkward

small talk, I said, can I kiss you? And she

said yes. One thing led to another and post-nut clarity

confirmed for me that I was not ready to be

with someone. Two more bouts of post-clarity that day really

sent home the message.

Speaker 2: Story 28.

Speaker 1: My ex and I had broken up a few weeks

prior and she'd moved about an hour away temporarily. She'd

left some things in my place and since I had

a free day, I offered to drop them off. When

I arrived at their belongings, things took an unexpected turn

and we ended up getting intimate. It was incredibly passionate

and after about 20 minutes, she wanted to try something

different so we continued with that.

Speaker 2: I remember it was a very intense moment. Afterwards, we relaxed, watched.

Speaker 1: Some TV and chatted over a cup of tea about

an hour. Then she suggested we get intimate again and

this time she wanted to film it. It felt like

we explored every possibility that day. The last time, she

was incredibly enthusiastic, leaving me completely spent. In fact, it

took a few hours for me to recover and she

certainly made the most of that time.

Speaker 2: The drive home afterward was quite something.

Speaker 1: Overall, I'd say it was a fantastic experience and I'd

definitely do it again.

Speaker 2: Story 29.

Speaker 1: They didn't do it on purpose, but here's the story.

I was flying out of Ciudad Juarez Airport to Mexico City.

Earlier in the day, there was a commercial airliner that

crashed on takeoff in Durango, Mexico earlier that day.

Speaker 2: The lady that was in the middle seat next to me.

Speaker 1: I was in the aisle, hadn't flown before, and was

freaking out over that and the crash had taken place.

When we started to taxi for takeoff... Every single bump

she started to freak out. All the flight attendants came

to the aisle by me and tried to call the

lady down. We couldn't take off until the lady was

either calmed down or removed from the flight. I finally

pulled out my headphones, talked to the lady, had her

put the headphones on.

Speaker 2: Listened to the calming music, lowered an enigma, and took

deep breaths. She calmed down.

Speaker 1: The FAs were able to get in their seats, and

we took off. Throughout the flight, whenever we hit turbulence,

the lady would freak out. I calmed her down, held

her hand, got her to do the breathing, etc., Once

we landed in Mexico City, we de-planed and put on

a bus to go to the terminal. Women walked up

to me on the bus, and after we were let

off at the terminal, offered me their numbers and ordered

to have a drink with them. Too bad I was

married then. If I wasn't, I could have made out

like a bandit. Story 30. Had to think about this one.

I've done a lot of crazy or weird things to

get lucky over the years, but going to have to

reach back 30 years for this one. it was dating

but not exclusive with the young lady she was really

into the romanticized image of knights and damsels in distress

and i was into medieval reenactments matt had a function

or event i was working long story short she was

in college and i was friends with her history professor

and knew a couple guys on campus security so got

everything cleared ahead of time Enlisted the aid of three

buddies dressed as men-at-arms and while wearing full armor, Kit

rode onto campus, burst into the classroom declaring there she is,

which embarrassed her, causing her to shrink into her chair.

Then picked her up, throwing her over my shoulder while

one of my buddies grabbed her books. Back outside, I

remounted my stead, had my buddies pass her up to me,

and rode away with her deep into the forest near

campus to about a mile away where I had a

picnic lunch prepared and a clearing. We dated exclusively for

about two months before figuring out we were just not

a good match. Still fun and crazy. I've also rappelled

down the side of a building to deliver flowers and

ask a lady out. Jas stood on motorcycles and played

eight-person poker with winner-designating pairs that were not guaranteed to

be guy or gal.

Speaker 2: Not my brightest moment, but it worked out well. Story 31.

Speaker 1: A former friend, who could be quite arrogant, started seeing

a very attractive girl.

Speaker 2: He met on Tinder.

Speaker 1: One day, he invited me to join them, making me

feel a bit like a third wheel. From the moment

I met her, a tall, fit blonde with a nice smile...

I noticed a distinct lack of chemistry between them, despite

his demeanor. Interestingly, I also sensed she was quite interested

in me. We all ended up drinking quite a bit. Eventually,

she made an excuse about needing to shower and having

an early start for work, so we left.

Speaker 2: About ten minutes later, while we were in.

Speaker 1: His car, he started bragging that someone like me could

never get a girl that fine. Given her earlier attentiveness,

I decided to challenge his arrogance. He goaded him to

a bet. He wagered his dad's BMW that if I

went back to her door, claiming he'd forgotten something, she

would simply shut the door on me and call him. I,

on the other hand, bet $ 500 that I'd not only

be invited in, but would also get intimate with her.

We shook on it, and I went back to her place.

True to my prediction, she answered the door in a towel,

still down from her shower. She invited me in, and

we ended up getting intimate right there in her living room.

The bet's a bet, so after I discreetly filmed a

brief moment to prove I'd won and sent it to him,

then we moved to the bedroom for a second encounter.

Speaker 2: I never actually got the BMW, and I wasn't.

Speaker 1: Particularly interested in pursuing a relationship with her, but it

was certainly one of the most unusual ways I've ever

been intimate. I probably wouldn't have even knocked on her

door if it hadn't been for the bed. As an

interesting side note, my former friend and I remained acquainted

for a while after that.

Speaker 2: However, our friendship eventually dissolved.

Speaker 1: He developed a habit of trying to embarrass and belittle me,

especially around women, which almost always backfired on him. Eventually,

I simply stopped spending time with him. It turned out

she hadn't actually had work the next day. She just

didn't want him to stay. Story 32. I became a

close confidant to a friend who was going through a

tough time, dealing with mental cruelty from her boyfriend. I

started helping her with coping mechanisms, and we spent weeks

talking and doing therapeutic activities together. I was so focused

on supporting her that I forgot my initial intentions. After

weeks of this, one night she mentioned how much she

missed intimacy and expressed a strong desire to be with me.

Speaker 2: She even asked if I had protection.

Speaker 1: After weeks of being her emotional support, I obviously hadn't

anticipated that.

Speaker 2: We ended up making out and I quickly developed feelings

for her.

Speaker 1: Unfortunately, we eventually lost touch because she wasn't ready for

that kind of attachment. I heard about her last month

and apparently she's now dating someone who looks like me.

She was truly the most gorgeous girl I've ever met.

Story 33. During my first semester of college in 2001,

I was exploring the early internet and made plans to

meet someone at a motel for a private encounter. At 18,

I was certainly less cautious about online interactions than I

would be today. Coincidentally, that same day, a group of

friends came to visit a dorm buddy for his birthday

and Among them was a charming girl named Heidi. For

reasons I can't quite recall, we all ended up in

my dorm room, gathered around my bed and chatting. The

conversation somehow turned to the topic of same-gender encounters and

the other guys, who were all heterosexual, admitted they'd never

witnessed one. As people started leaving for the birthday celebrations,

I quietly told Heidi about my evening plans. She immediately

decided to ditch the birthday events and join me. We

went to the motel room and she observed my encounter. Afterward,

we returned to the dorm and we also became intimate. Then,

starting at midnight, I drove her three hours back to

her home and another three hours back to the dorm.

That was easily the most dangerous driving I've ever done.

I even had to pull into a rest stop for

about a 30-minute nap to make it back safely. Story 34.

I was at a nightclub in Europe with friends when

I met a lovely girl who was also out with

her own group. The only snag was that they had

an early flight back to their country the next morning.

After spending some time together, I asked her to leave

the club with me, but she declined, needing to return

to her hotel to pack. By the time her friends

were ready to go, we had been dancing and kissing

for quite a while. I joined them outside the club,

feeling the pressure of time slipping away. In that moment,

I wasn't thinking entirely clearly, but I knew I had

to try something memorable. Her friends had already called a taxi,

so I decided on a grand gesture. I spotted a

flower vendor, then hesitated and bought every single flower he had.

I rushed back to the girl and her friends, got

down on one knee and presented the huge bouquet to

her as if I were proposing. It was at this

point that her friends seemed to decide I was serious

about her. They told me to get in the cab

with them and invited me back to their hotel room.

They even cleared the room for us, ensuring we had privacy.

In a truly grand gesture, they allowed me to spend

time with our friend in their room while they waited outside.

Speaker 2: Story 35.

Speaker 1: I broke into a friend's house, and it had windows

with metal bars. It was super hard, and I had

never done anything like it before. The story goes like this.

I was a teenager, as stimulated as any other, and

I was dating this cute girl when we decided it

was the right time to take things a step up

in a relationship, but we didn't know where to do it.

We had this friend who was going away for the

weekend with his family, and he told us it was

okay for us to do it in his house during

the weekend. And the day came, he left with his

family and texted me saying our way to his house

was free. He told me where he had his reserve key.

The girl and I were stimulated as hell, so we

met there, barely holding ourselves and went for the key.

Speaker 2: Guess what? No key.

Speaker 1: I texted him, bro, no keys here, where is it?

And he replied, crap, stupid brother lost his and took

this without telling me. Of course, the hormone train couldn't

be stopped at that point, so we decided it was

going to happen.

Speaker 2: Key or no key.

Speaker 1: Then we started to inspect every door and window in

the house to see what we could do. It turned

out one high bathroom window was ajar and its metal

bars had enough space for us to try to get inside.

She boosted me up and I got a hold of

the bars. As soon as I pushed my shoulders to

fit the bar, I realized it was going to fit

but it was also going to hurt a lot and

the landing would be a mess. So I squeezed myself

through the window bars and landed on the shower cabin floor,

hurting my back and my knee. I then limped to

their kitchen, got a hold of another set of keys

and opened the back door for the girl to come in.

Story 36 Clicked with this lady I met at a

friend's event. They both loved Trinidadian foods, and we casually

went out to the spot I knew one evening, which

ended in her coming over to mine at the same night.

After that day, we slept at each other's places for

three consecutive nights until the last night. She planned to

travel to Spain the following day and said that she

wished I could have come with her. She just so

happened to need to take some vacation days at work,

so I thought I'd surprise her by booking a flight

and hotel to meet her. When I broke the news,

she was shocked and a little hesitant, but When I

told her it wasn't that deep, she eventually gave in

and expressed her excitement. The day before my flight, I

felt absolutely terrible. I found out that I got sick.

We never fooled around again. Story 37. I told a

girl I liked the band Idlewild. It'd be a funnier

or more questionable story if I'd lied about it, but

they were actually my favorite band growing up. Basically, I'd

swapped numbers with a girl at a pub one night

and ended up back at the same bar later, chatting

with her. Her friend asked me if I'd heard of

Rudy Wumble, the singer, implying that if I told the

girl I had, I'd be in. I said, yeah, I

freaking love Idlewild, and she excitedly relayed this to her friend.

It was like a switch went off. She went from

being mildly interested to taking back to your place now

because we're going to do it. I can't stress enough

how much this girl's interest increased because of musical taste.

I'm not going to say I wasn't into it because

she was quite freaky and I liked that, The knowledge

that I probably only got to do it with her

because I listened to a specific band growing up was,

to say the least, pretty funny. Story 38. The first

time I went to New York, it was to meet

a woman I'd connected with online. She lived below 22nd Street,

and we'd been messaging back and forth for a good

four or five years. These weren't your typical, hey, how's

the weather messages either. This woman had sent me full-on

explicit-style photo shoots of her in leather, lace, and everything

in between. So my imagination ran wild. I saved up

some money and made the necessary travel arrangements. She immediately

ghosted me the minute I made it through the tunnel.

She went completely radio silent. We agreed that I could

crash at her place and we'd play the whole week

by ear. If things worked out and we had a

great time, then I'd chalk it up to a terrific vacation.

Speaker 2: No strings and no expectations at all.

Speaker 1: However, if we got on each other's nerves, then I'd

just go stay in a hotel and do my own thing.

We set clear boundaries and yet I still got completely ghosted.

We were friends on multiple social media platforms and we'd

video chatted a few hundred times, so I definitely didn't

get catfished.

Speaker 2: She simply stood me right the hell up.

Speaker 1: For a minute, I was totally disappointed until I realized

I was still in New York City and there was

a crap ton of cool crap to do. I ended

up staying in a hostel in a barrack-style room full

of intoxicated Asian grandpas and getting so intoxicated on Turbo

Saki that I.

Speaker 2: Was whizzed myself.

Speaker 1: I did a bunch of stand-up comedy shows and I

got a free whistle from a Jewish named Hannah because

she liked my southern accent and Timberland boots. My first

trip to New York still ended up being a 10

out of 10. Story 39 Okay, well, I'm outing myself

on my main account.

Speaker 2: Please be gentle.

Speaker 1: My first girlfriend in the beginning of high school was

my second experience, but my first actual choice. She came

over and skipped her bus ride. We were making out. Eventually,

she did her thing. I was frozen and couldn't finish.

She wanted to do it and asked if I had protection.

I said no, and she asked if I had Ziploc baggies. So,

needless to say, my first consensual act was with a

Ziploc bag. I've had some crazy crap happen in my

30-ish years, but this one, I don't think I can forget.

Story 40. This isn't a great story or particularly interesting.

Speaker 2: I'm female.

Speaker 1: At about 23, I was going through some stuff and

really liked spending time at the house with the guy

I was sleeping with. We weren't dating and he didn't

have feelings for me, but I liked going over and

waking up there. I was living with my parents after

a breakup and I hated being home. One time I

went over and there was another girl there that he

was obviously into. My heart was so set on staying

there that night. I simply didn't leave and clock blocked

the situation with the guy and girl.

Speaker 2: At about 4am, she was basically like, okay, you win.

And went home.

Speaker 1: I got my wish of sleeping with a guy and

staying there that night, but it felt yucky. That's the

last time it happened.

Speaker 2: Story 41. My buddy was having a destination wedding in Vegas.

and I was the best man.

Speaker 1: There was one girl that was clearly throwing it out

there and about seven guys following her around like puppy dogs.

I was kind of one of them, but trying to

figure out how to stand out. She stepped into a

store and decided to tease us by changing into a

lacy set and invited all the guys into her dressing room.

They just said screw it and walked out. I didn't

hang around in the room for the fast that lasted

a whole 30 seconds. Nothing happened except the guys got

a good look while I was waiting outside. Anyway, a

few drinks later and we were all back at the

Luxor and the eight of us were all in a

room just chatting. She said she was going to get

ice and walked out of the room and guys began

to argue over who she was most interested in. I

immediately walked out of the room and down the hall.

I spun her around and we made out for a

solid 60 seconds. She said, wow, I thought you weren't interested.

I said, you thought wrong. I'm not one to compete

against six other guys for your attention. I'll see you

back in the room. I immediately walked back to the

room and told all of the.

Speaker 2: Guys to leave. They proceeded to argue who she liked

more and I said, y'all better go or you're going

to watch us do it for the next three hours.

It's up to you.

Speaker 1: Y'all were saying you were freaking serious? What do you

think I've been doing for the last two minutes? I

got the hell out. They all laughed and we did

it all night.

Speaker 2: I don't even think it caught her name.

Speaker 1: The next morning, my buddy was angry because I never

responded to any of his cell phone calls or messages

on his wedding night reception.

Speaker 2: The marriage only lasted two and a half years.

Speaker 1: Oh well. Story 42. While visiting a friend, a girl

who was a friend of his girlfriend and someone I

was interested in, wanted to go visit her ex-boyfriend in

the hospital near me after his motorcycle accident. She lived

40 miles away and her car was broken, so I

saw an opportunity and offered to let her stay at

my place and use my car after taking me to

work the next day and picking me up later, so

she'd go see him. She thought that was generous and

nice and agreed. The first night was platonic and after

she picked me up from work, I offered to make

her dinner. Afterward, we went for a walk and I

was ready to take her back home, but she said

she wanted to stay another night. Plan successful. Story 43.

I was moving away and out for a farewell drink

with my buddy. We bumped into two cute girls he

knew who happened to be out for their own night

out and Antoine suggested we join forces. I was not

looking for anything and kind of resented having to make

nice with these girls so I was kind of brusque

and didn't pull any of my charming craft that I

would normally have tried. I didn't try to include them

in the conversation. I didn't offer them compliments or buy

them drinks or anything. I was on the edge of

being rude. I went to the gents, and on my

way back up the narrow staircase, one of them was

coming down. I edged to the side of the ladder pass,

but she grabbed my hand and put it on her back.

I didn't smile or get into it. I just let

her continue down the stairs, and I went back to

the table with Anto and the other chicken. When she

came back to the table, she leaned over to me

and said loudly enough for everyone at the table and

several nearby tables that she wanted to give me a

whistle right now. Well, if you like these stories, here's more.

YouTube thinks you're going to love this.

Speaker 2: Catch you in that video.