Rebroadcast: Earl Pasdar
This week Lauren thought we all needed a laugh. Enjoy this sweet treat to finish the month of August.I'll be back next week with Sarah to start a series! Love you! No Sources :)
Speaker 1: Hi, worriers. Welcome to Aren't You Worried? I'm your host,
Lauren Perry, and this week I will be doing another
rebroadcasted episode because we are in hell, everyone. I just,
what is going on right now in the world? First,
on August 16th, we lose Hayden Panettiere, and that destroyed
my millennial heart. It really did. And then, you know,
I thought, okay, I'll get over it. And then, on
August 25th, we lost Dolly Parton and Tim Curry. And honestly,
I just... I think we all just need a break. Yeah,
I just kind of... Kind of really wasn't... Wasn't in
the mood to... edit a brand new episode. Also, I
had some family stuff that I was dealing with earlier
this week, so I also lost a recording partner. So
just kind of based on everything going on, I figured
we need a break from true crime. So I found
the perfect episode to rebroadcast. I think it's perfect. I
hope you guys enjoy it. I hope you guys... figure
out the mystery a little sooner than I do, but
it's a great episode. It's one of my favorites from
my last podcast. And next week, we're getting joined by Sarah.
Sarah will be with me four weeks in a row
for kind of a series-ish, but mostly I just really
wanted to have Sarah on for as many episodes as
I could. So you guys are going to love those episodes.
Those will be out the first Friday of September. So
all of September, all Fridays in September, you're going to
hear me and Sarah. I'm so excited. They're great episodes.
And as for today, I hope you guys get a laugh.
And if not, I hope you guys are all taking
care of yourselves. And so does whiskey, apparently. So you
guys have a great week. Happy end of August. And
I will be back with a brand new episode next
Friday in September. And it'll be, we'll pick up where
we left off then. Have a great week. Have a
great rest of your month. Have a great rest of August.
Take care of yourselves. I love you. Hi, Sissy. Hello.
Welcome back to another episode. I'm Lauren. And I'm Amanda.
How are you doing this week, sis? I'm doing pretty well.
Should I say this week, this day, how are you
doing today? So this very second, a little behind the
curtain for everyone else. Lauren has no idea what we're
doing today. I have no idea what we're doing today.
And am I nervous? No. She said before she hit record,
we hit record that like, she's just stopped questioning me
as I'm just like, don't do this. Yeah. Yeah. I
just like, yes, ma'am. Which actually totally tracks. We I've
been trying to buy a plane ticket to go to
a podcast festival. And I'm like, just stop asking me.
Just do it. I will just go. I'm already going.
I don't even know why you're asking me for any
of my opinions. I don't have them. I think I
sent you a video last year before we started traveling
to the last podcast festival where like there's two sisters
and one of them is like has all the tickets
and all the plans. The other one has like turned
off their brain and just follows them around. Oh, yeah, definitely.
That is me. Yeah. It's like I'm the one that's like,
riding my suitcase like down ramps at the airport like
that is me yeah exactly you're like running to make
sure that we're like at the gate on time and
i'm like i'll see you there and you're like can
i go get some food yeah like there's a mcdonald's
back there i'm just gonna i'll just meet you at
the gate what gate is it again okay you know
what just drop a pin it'll be fine what trip
are we on okay just drop a pin it'll be
fine But yes, we are in a surprise bonus episode.
Lauren knows nothing about what's going to happen in this episode.
But I think it's going to start that way, too,
because we're also going to talk about books. See, this
is just an episode of Lauren's also here. No, I
think you're going to love this, truly. What I wanted
to talk about, actually, was a book I just finished. Well,
one of them I gave to you, so I don't
want to give too many spoilers away. I gave you
Finley Donovan is Killing It. Yes. It's like funny crime fiction.
So great. So that's my very short recommendation for that one.
But I did just read a book called Whisper Network. Oh, okay.
That it's like the Me Too movement in an office place.
Like it's a sports brand, kind of like Nike, it
sounded like, where like they do shoes and clothes and stuff,
but they also do like these huge brand deals. Mm-hmm.
So the main characters are three attorneys, like in-house attorneys,
three female attorneys, and then one member of the cleaning
staff and all of their different relationships with the general counsel,
a male who has different degrees of like harassment and assault,
like harassment and sexual assault against these women and how
when he, when their CEO dies, um, He is next
in line. Basically, they're going to name this guy as
the next CEO. And all these women are like, no,
we can't let that happen. Yeah, we can't let that happen.
It's so, so good. Oh, wow. That sounds incredible. And
it's like it's crimey enough because the book opens with
this guy, this general counsel who's supposedly about to become
the CEO. He jumps off the building and then it
flashes back three weeks. And you get to see what
led up to it and then past it. I must read.
So good. I must. It's so good. So that's my
book review today is I thought you would like it.
But I also thought people who like what we talk about,
who like crime novels and are interested in like the
Me Too women's rights and some of the Women's History
Month stuff that we've been talking about might really enjoy
that book. It's by Chandler Baker is the author. Okay. Wow. Well,
I guess I also have a book that I've read
this year. Please. Tell me about it. I am one
for one right now this year. Good. Good for me.
I read a book. It's called You Shouldn't Have Come
Here by Geneva Rose. I'm kind of giggling because I
heard some in progress. The top of the book. It's
a New York Times bestseller. So picked it up at Target. Great.
And it says Geneva Rose is the queen of twists.
And Colleen Hoover said that. So I'm like, great. I've
read some of Colleen's work. You know, whatever. So I
picked it up. Spoiler for listeners. I am not a
fan of Colleen Hoover. Lauren and I have talked about this.
We don't have to have that conversation on this podcast.
But yes, it's a no for me, dog. I keep
thinking that they're going to get better. Anyways, we're not
going there. Anyways, it's not. So. picked it up. You
know how this book ends on page 70 and it's
almost 300 pages. What? I thought she was the queen
of twists. I literally, so all I said is that
since it's like a Colleen Hoover adjacent book, I was like, oh,
there's going to be so much sex in it. By
page like a hundred, I went to my partner and
I was like, there's no sex. And he's like, Okay, like,
in life, where? What are we talking about? I was like,
in my book! And he's like, shit about your proclamation here.
And he's like, just keep reading. And then by page 200,
he's like, stop reading this book. You clearly hate it.
And I was like, no, she's the queen of twists.
I have to get through it. The twist is coming. Yes.
No twist. You knew exactly what was happening on page 70.
That's so disappointing. So I was recommended then to read
a different book by her called The Perfect Marriage. And
it's by someone that reads a lot. My friend Sydney
suggested it. She has wonderful, like you, I trust her taste,
like blindly. And so I'm going to give her... So
maybe this just wasn't one of her better books. Correct.
So I am going to read The Perfect Marriage by
Geneva Rose, and I will report back. That will be
my second book. Well, no, because I'm going to read
Finley Donovan is Killing It. And then I'm going to read...
What did you give me? We're Saving the Sisters? God
Spare the Girls. God Spare the Girls. That's another one
that I would like to talk about when you're done. Okay,
not urgent. So it's going to be Finley Donovan... Then
God save the girls. And then I'm going to read
The Perfect Marriage. So in about six to 12 months
or years, I will report back. I have a question.
I'm not a big reader. I really struggle writing scripts
for this podcast because it's like, I'm sleepy. I understand that.
I have a question based on you said that this
was a New York Times bestseller. Does it say on
the cover that the book is a New York Times
bestseller or that the is a New York Times bestselling author? OK, well,
it just says New York Times bestseller, Geneva Rose. OK,
so that's talking about the author, not that not that book,
but it's deceiving sometimes. You know, I didn't even consider that.
But yeah. Because she's the queen of twists and there's
no twist, I doubt that's the one that's selling the
best i'm hoping it's the perfect marriage that's selling yeah
i've actually heard of that book so it wouldn't surprise
me if that was one of the better selling ones
anyways um so that's our book review yes maybe we
should do this every 6 to 12 we can each
pick a book every like six months Months, years, who knows? Anyways,
who are we going to be talking about in this
bonus episode? Okay. So as we exit Women's History Month,
I am surprising Lauren with this bonus episode that she
knows nothing about. It is a complete surprise. So we
are not doing What's My Crime this week. Okay. I
just want to tell you the story and I want
you to comment throughout because I love your comments. If
you have guesses as we go along, please interrupt me.
The husband did it. Very funny. Okay. It's a good
starting guess, truly. Honestly, if I know what happens by
page 70 and there's 300 pages of this script, I'm done.
I'm walking out. There's not 300 pages of the script,
I promise. Okay. So similar to the surprise thing, I'm
not going to reveal my sources until the end because
of the surprise. So Lauren, are you ready for this? Yeah,
the husband did it. Okay, let's go. We're done. The
husband did it. Do I get a name? Okay, so
I'm going into it. Content warnings, because I do want
to do this, include intimate partner violence, abuse, and murder.
So into our story we go. This story starts at
Hillsboro High School in the outskirts of Nashville, Tennessee in 1996.
Two best friends were nearing the end of their senior years,
and they were trying to figure out what they were
going to do next. Mary Ann Strayer was the golden
student in that graduating class. She had good grades. She
was in the National Honor Society. She had been homecoming queen.
And she was the cheerleading captain. All right. But she
was also a member because she grew up on her
grandparents' farm in Park. She was a member of the
4-H Club and the FFA. Although... Oh, she's a nerd. Yeah.
Although she wasn't planning to pursue farm stuff in her life,
but she enjoyed it. She was a horse girl. By
the way... I was also an FFA, so I'm allowed
to say that. We didn't have 4-H at my high school,
but I was an FFA. Oh, yeah, we didn't. I
didn't know you were an FFA. Well, I was really
good friends with the teacher, so I don't actually... Oh! Yeah, so, like,
I just went to all their stuff because it means
I didn't have to go to class. That makes sense, honestly. Sorry.
It tracks for me, doesn't it? A little bit, yeah. So,
like I said, Marianne was a horse girl. 4-H and
the FFA and stuff, it was a fun way for
her to hang out with animals and her friends. Her
family was also pretty great. She was an only child.
Her dad was a doctor and her mother worked in
the financial aid office at Vanderbilt University right in Nashville. So,
like I said, she kind of was the golden child
in more ways than one. She was at school. She
was at home. The only thing that Marianne didn't have
was a boyfriend, but it actually didn't really bother her
that much. She had plans for her life. And those
plans mainly consisted of getting out of Nashville and starting
life in a bigger city. Nashville? Yeah. Nashville's huge now.
That's my next sentence. It's huge now, but in the 90s,
it wasn't really like that yet. It was the capital
of country music then, too, of course. But that meant
that it was kind of maintaining its country feel. And
Marianne wanted to go to a bigger city. I think
there's a song about Nashville. Oh, there's probably plenty of
songs about Nashville. You know, I love this bar. I
think that's a song. Anyways. Probably, yeah. Oh, he died recently. Who?
Toby Keith. What? Yeah, he had cancer. What? I'm so
sorry that I'm breaking this news to you. I didn't
know it was. We've talked about this. You have to
stop horrifying me while we are recording. I didn't know
Toby Keith died. Yeah, it was like a week or
two ago. As we record. As we record. We can
talk more about that towards the end. Okay. If that
sounds okay with you. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. I'm
so sorry about breaking this news to you. People are like,
who is this woman? Where did she beam down from?
I'm sorry. Continue, please. Okay. So the big city that
Marianne had been eyeing was Atlanta. Okay. So in the South,
that's like sometimes the place people want to go. Okay.
Big city down there. So she applied and was accepted
to Emory University, and she was planning to go there
for college. Mm-hmm. She was ready to spread her wings,
but it was also hard for her because it basically
meant leaving her best friend Wanda behind. So Wanda Maines
had been best friends with Mary Ann since they entered
Hillsborough High School from different middle schools in the fall
of 1992. Is this the one where the woman is
a double personality? Is that this story? She's a split personality,
Wanda is Mary Ann, they're the same person? No. That
would be a great story. But no. I've heard that story. Yeah.
Might have been a Criminal Minds episode. No, I don't remember. Yeah.
Not this story. That would be a great story, though.
Where Marianne excelled academically, Wanda excelled at soccer. It was
her thing. Oh, okay. She wanted to play it forever.
She cared very little about school because she was under
the impression that she wouldn't need it. But then, naturally,
the unthinkable happened. And she tore her ACL right at
the beginning of her senior season. And the recruiters vanished.
This was the 90s. The therapy for that wasn't the
same as it is now. She tried to get her
grades up at that point, but it was too late.
She had applied to all the same schools as Marianne
and even some, I don't want to say lesser schools,
state schools and whatnot in the same cities as Marianne.
But she didn't get into any of them. Hmm. So
she decided to stick around Nashville. There were plenty of
bars and restaurants that she could work at while she
figured out what to do next, and Marianne promised that
they'd stay friends. So off Marianne went to Emory, and
Wanda started working at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge, which was a
very famous bar in Nashville. So what Wanda may have
lacked in book smarts, she made up for with charm,
and she was an instant patron favorite at Tootsie's. Mm-hmm.
Might be Tootsies. I do the long O's, Tootsies, but
it could be Tootsies, I guess. Like Tootsie Roll. I'm just,
you know, we're from Minnesota. We do the best we can. Howdy, y'all. Sorry, continue.
So one of the regular patrons of Tootsies was a
townie of sorts from their old high school named Earl Pasdar.
Earl was about three years older than Wanda and Marianne,
and he stayed around Nashville, too. working mostly as a mechanic,
but also doing some odd jobs here and there. Okay.
He loved live country music, so he was often hanging
out on Broadway in Nashville, that main street with all
the bars with live music, which is what brought him
to Tootsies. Tootsies, whatever. He was one of those guys
who definitely peaked in high school. Okay. He scored a
big touchdown in one football game his senior year, and
people who cheered for Hillsborough... Always brought that up when
they saw him even years later. One of those guys.
Oh my God. Yep. Yep. Well, it didn't take long
for Earl to take a shine to Wanda while she
was working at Tootsies. And by the end of 1996,
they were dating. Wanda and Marianne talked on the phone
when they could, but they mostly kept in touch by
writing letters back and forth because it was the 90s.
So all before cell phones and all that. Wanda shared
everything with Marianne, particularly about Earl. And Marianne was a
bit uneasy, because she remembered Earl, too. Including the whispers
about him being mean, to put it lightly, behind closed doors.
But Wanda only had good things to say, and she
gushed about how sweet Earl was to her all the time,
bringing her flowers and waiting up to drive her home
after work, insisting that she didn't park her car downtown
because he'd take care of her. Oh, God. No, Wanda.
But Wanda was smitten. I know. She was left in
this town and Marianne had left and she was kind
of lonely. I know. So when Earl asked her to
marry him a year later, she didn't even hesitate. Oh, God.
That's too soon. Very soon. Very young. Marianne was Wanda's
maid of honor, of course. Of course. And she came
up from her internship in Atlanta for Wanda's June 1998 wedding. Mm-hmm.
Everything was pastel-colored and beautiful, and Wanda was incredibly happy.
On the night of the bachelorette party, Marianne tried to
mention her concerns about Earl to Wanda, but Wanda was
in her, you know, kind of honeymoon-ish bubble and brushed
it all off. So, Marianne switched back to supporting her friend.
Maybe the rumors weren't true, she thought. Maybe Earl had
finally grown up. But let's just say that it's unlikely
men ever grow out of their shitty ways, to say
the least. Mm-hmm. And after the wedding, Earl and Wanda
moved into a little house that was a wedding gift
from Wanda's parents to them. Okay, girl. I know, right?
It was located in the same little Nashville suburb where
Wanda had grown up. So she was happy. Wanda kept
her job at Tootsie's and everyone thought that things would
be fine. 20-year-old brides weren't that uncommon in Tennessee, after all.
Especially in the late 90s. Yeah. Marianne went back to
Atlanta to complete her internship and start her junior year
at Emory, and they kept writing letters to each other.
So things just kind of kept going as they had been.
But then, not long after the wedding, Wanda's letters started
to change in tone. Her happiness seemed less genuine somehow,
and only a best friend like Marianne would really notice
something like that in writing. Sure. But like, you can
kind of tell when people, like in emails and stuff,
when like they're kind of trying to fake it. versus
when they're like genuinely happy. Like, I mean, if you
know them well. Like, I feel like if you wrote
me an email that was just like all exclamation points,
I'd be like, are you all right? So letters have
started to change in tone. Her happiness seemed less genuine somehow.
Only a best friend like Marianne would notice something like that.
She started telling Marianne that Earl wanted her to start
having babies so she could quit her job at Tootsie's.
He didn't like that other men were looking at her.
He didn't like that she was out late and he
had to wait up for her. It was like the
Earl that she knew completely disappeared and was replaced by
a moody, controlling asshole, which was Marianne's fear from the beginning.
Marianne's replies were as encouraging as they could be, and
she always ended with the same thing. If you need
to leave him, you can always come stay with me
here in Atlanta. It was a genuine offer that Wanda
never took Marianne up on. Because what Wanda was hiding
from Marianne was what she was also hiding from everyone
else she knew. It took about two weeks of Wanda
living with Earl after their wedding that he started hitting her.
His outbursts were short-lived, but they were violent, and she
often had to wear long sleeves in the middle of
the Tennessee summer to cover the bruises that he left
on her body. Jesus. Initially, Earl avoided her face, but
once he started trying to get her to leave job,
all bets were off. and she had to start applying
caked-on makeup to hide her black eyes and bruises. Jeez.
This went on for a while, until Marianne's parents happened
to run into Wanda at the bank on a Friday afternoon.
The vibrant best friend of their daughter had been reduced
to a nervous shell of a person, and they got
home that night and called Marianne. Marianne immediately called Wanda,
but Earl was home, so Wanda said she couldn't talk,
but she'd call the next day. Marianne was terrified for
her friend, so she did the only thing she could
think to do. She called Wanda's parents. That's when she
found out, after the wedding, Wanda had basically disappeared from
her parents' lives. Oh, man. They would try to stop by,
and Earl would tell them that Wanda didn't want to
see them. They'd call, and Wanda would tell them that
Earl was home, and she couldn't talk. So, same thing
that she told Marianne, when Marianne called. They'd been worried
for weeks, and it confirmed Marianne's fears. Earl was the
monster behind closed doors that she'd heard he was. He
just saved it for after Wanda was already legally tied
to him. They usually do. Not always. Right. But oftentimes, like,
they wait for that, what they think is like a
safety net for themselves. Yeah. That legal tie. Thankfully, Wanda
did call Marianne the next day. So she didn't. Yeah.
She didn't avoid it. She actually did call. Mm-hmm. Through tears,
she told her best friend everything, and Marianne quietly listened,
keeping the anger that threatened to boil over inside of her.
For the time being, at least, she was real angry.
She went to the library on campus, Marianne did, to
research lawyers for Wanda, and when they had everything together,
Wanda did three things. First, she got a lawyer to
help her file for divorce. Second, she went to the
police to get a restraining order against Earl. And third,
she moved back in with her parents, who, after speaking
to Marianne, renewed their efforts to get in touch with
their daughter again. Wanda felt like she was as safe
as she could be. She was exhausted and scared, and
she wanted the legal process to move forward without any
additional effort from her. She just kind of wanted to hide,
like she wanted it done. One morning, after her parents
had left for work, Earl showed up at her parents' house. Oh, fuck.
She could tell that he was fuming when she answered
the door, and she told him to leave, that he
was violating the restraining order just by being on her
parents' front porch. It didn't stop Earl, unfortunately. This was
the worst beating that he'd ever given Wanda. All of
the anger at being embarrassed for being served a restraining
order while at his job was just, like, bubbled over,
and he... He punched her. He slapped her. He kicked
her with his boots. He really beat her up. And
then he left her there. It's hard to say, like,
looking back on this, what his goal was, like what
he wanted to happen, whether he was trying to kill
her or if he was just so angry that he
had to do something. You know, I don't I don't
think I'll ever really be able to understand the motivation
of abusers personally. But like, I don't know. I don't
know if he was trying to kill her or not
is my point. Yeah. OK. But Wanda's mom had been
coming home to have lunch with her daughter every day.
So when she arrived home for lunch, she found Wanda
in the front doorway, beaten, bloody, and unconscious. And she
called the ambulance. Wanda was taken by ambulance to a
nearby hospital where she spent some time in intensive care
while the swelling in her brain went down. Oh my God. Luckily, luckily,
she woke up about a day later. The swelling went
down on its own. She didn't require any surgery, thankfully.
And she had minimal long-term, consequences from this beating but
man it pissed her parents off yeah marianne had been
calling wanda's parents house trying to get a hold of
wanda while wanda was in the hospital when she finally
was able to reach one of wanda's parents they told
marianne what had happened and marianne immediately flew home to
nashville to be with wanda she just finished her business
degree at emory and had been applying for jobs and
trying to figure out what to do next But when
she realized what happened to her best friend, she made
the decision to go back home for good. The next day,
she sat in the hospital all day with her best friend,
holding her hand as Wanda went in and out of sleep.
And Marianne got more and more angry as she sat there,
knowing that no matter what anyone did, this was all
Earl's fault. And Earl should pay for what he'd done. Yep. Oh, no. Oh. Oh. Oh,
you bad bitch. Okay. Once Wanda had gained a bit
of strength back, Marianne started sharing her angry thoughts with Wanda.
And Wanda agreed. She had originally been hesitant to do
anything too harsh to Earl, but she came to a
realization while she was in the hospital. Wanda thought to herself,
if we don't kill Earl, he's going to kill me. Yeah.
So when Marianne started really expressing the anger that she
was feeling about everything, Wanda told her about her fears
of dying. And Marianne smiled at Wanda and said, the
only one dying here is Earl. Okay, I know I
really shouldn't be condoning murder, but right now, go get them, girls.
So they made a plan. Once Wanda was released from
the hospital, she and Marianne moved back into the home
that Wanda's parents had gifted her and Earl for the wedding. Remember,
that home was a gift from Wanda's parents. Right. So...
Earl had broken one of Wanda's arms along with one
of her legs, so she couldn't go up the stairs.
And their starter house was a rambler. So it really
made more sense for them to move back, like Marianne
to move with Wanda back into the house. Absolutely. Wanda
going to her parents' house, which had a second floor.
So while Wanda was getting to the point where she
could be released from the hospital, Marianne went over ahead
of time and cleaned out all of Earl's stuff from
the house, packing it into boxes that she put in
the garage. So she did all of that ahead of time.
So Wanda didn't even have to deal with it. Good friend. Yeah. Yeah.
So when Wanda came home, Marianne was ready. She had
put extra deadbolts in all the exterior doors and they
kept a shotgun next to the front door. She added
extra locks to the bedroom and bathroom just in case
they needed to weather any kind of storm because Earl
was pretty unpredictable. Yep. And Earl, thankfully, hadn't been staying
there since he assaulted Wanda. She also obviously changed the locks, too.
I should add that. So it was easy enough to
do all this preparation. He wasn't like there or anything.
But once Earl learned that Wanda was home from the
hospital and moved back into what he saw as their house,
he started calling. But he wasn't counting on Marianne being there.
He expected it to like just be Wanda by herself,
I guess, or maybe Wanda and her mom. I think
he expected to be able to charm his way back in.
But I think it's safe to say that Earl didn't
like Marianne. She was college educated. And she'd been onto
him from basically the very beginning. So like they didn't
like each other from the beginning. Earl had been trying
to isolate Wanda from Marianne during their marriage too, but
it just didn't work all that well because their friendship
ran too deep. Yeah. And Marianne wasn't going to let
Wanda go so easily. That was the big thing. Marianne
wasn't giving up. We're like, right. I think a lot
of people would have been like, fine. If you don't
want to return my calls, then I'm just going to
stop calling. That's not, that was not Marianne. Right. In
this situation. Um, So when he realized that it was
Marianne who was answering all of his phone calls to
the house, he got more and more angry. Finally, he
threatened her. Let me see my wife, he said. You'll
be sorry you've been keeping me from her. And Marianne?
smiled and said why don't you come over for dinner
tomorrow night earl you can see wanda all you want
as long as i'm around and earl agreed i'm guessing
assuming that he'd be able to charm wanda again and
all this wouldn't be an issue earl you dumb dumb
man please go over for dinner So he did. Earl
came to his old home for dinner the next night,
violating the restraining order once again. And sure enough, he
tried to charm his way back into what he saw
as his home with Wanda, which didn't work at all.
Marianne had cooked dinner, and what Earl didn't know was
they'd put antifreeze in his whiskey cokes that he insisted
on drinking the whole night. He drank a lot of them.
And they included a lot of antifreeze, which is very sweet. Yeah.
Just like doesn't taste bad or anything. His speech got
slurred and he started complaining of not feeling well. So
Marianne said he should probably he probably shouldn't drive home
and offered him the couch in the living room. He
was once he was unconscious, the poison took effect pretty quickly,
but the ladies were ready. Marianne did most of the
dirty work since Wanda was basically wheelchair bound for the
time being. Yeah. She pushed Earl off the couch and
onto a waiting tarp, then dragged him into the garage. Slowly,
I'm sure. It was probably very heavy. I'm sorry. I
don't mean to be laughing. I'm just, okay. Yeah, I am.
She somehow, it took a long time, but she used
a bunch of other stuff, but she somehow got him
into the trunk of her car, like in the tarp
and all that. Once it got dark, Marianne drove Earl's
car back to the mechanic shop where he worked, and
then she walked home. The next day for lunch, Marianne
and Wanda packed a picnic and drove to a park
on a lake in a nearby town. The ladies spent
the day lounging in the grass in the shade of
a tree, reading and eating their picnic lunch. And once
the sun went down, they got out a telescope that
they brought with them to look at the stars as
they were staying there after dark. And once they were
sure that no one else was around, Marianne dragged Earl's
body out of the trunk. tied some cinder blocks to
the ends of the rolled tarp, and pushed Cheryl off
the dock into the lake. And then they went home. Yep.
Now this is where the story goes a little off
the rails. More so than it already is. I was like, wait,
what were we doing before this? I'm confused. Yeah, it
makes me nervous to tell you this part of the story, though.
One of Wanda's nosy neighbors had heard about the restraining
order and had seen Wanda's injuries when she moved home.
She was like in a wheelchair, like you could tell
that she was injured. And then she saw Earl's car
in the driveway until after it got dark. So that
neighbor called the police. Oh God. With a tip about
Earl violating the restraining order again. Okay. But you know,
police don't tend to act on stuff super quickly. Yep.
So they happened to luckily not show up the next
day and waited until like the third day to show up. Um,
But since the car was there for so long, it
sounded like the neighbor was afraid that Earl had done
something terrible to both Marianne and Wanda, which is the
cause of their concern. I mean, it's kind of nice,
but kind of like, yeah, right. So this the day
after they had been at the lake, the police showed
up at the house looking for Earl and they had
an arrest warrant because he had violated his restraining order.
Marianne let the officers in and they recounted the dinner
that they'd had with Earl. They told the police that
he tried to charm Wanda again, but she hadn't been
moved and And Marianne swore up and down that she
never let the two of them out of her sight.
They said that Earl drank too much and they let
him sleep it off on the couch. He must have
left during the night, they said, because they'd locked themselves
in the bedroom after he went to sleep with their
new locks and the shotgun was safely in the bedroom,
not in the front house or front of the house
with Earl. And he thankfully never tried to get into
the bedroom because of his drunken state, they assumed. Yep.
So the cops searched the house, but all they found
were his belongings in the garage boxed up by Marianne
weeks earlier and the ball cap that he'd been wearing
when he arrived. But no Earl and no evidence of
any crime. At that point, there was nothing for the
cops to do other than tell Marianne and Wanda that
they had an arrest warrant for Earl and to notify
them if he turned up again. A couple of days later.
All right, then. Yeah. A couple of days. I mean, cops,
you know, sometimes they don't do the job they're supposed
to do. Well, yeah. A couple days later, Earl's job
reported him missing after they realized his car was parked
in the lot, but he'd missed several shifts. But there
were no signs of him. It was as if he vanished.
Time passed, and Marianne and Wanda both went back to work.
Wanda as a bartender this time at Tootsie's, not as
a waitress anymore, making a lot of money in tips,
and Marianne in a corporate office in downtown Nashville doing marketing.
They saved, and together they bought some land outside of
town on Highway 109. Okay. They realized that they didn't
really need men in their lives after all. That friendship
was plenty for them. Yeah. They opened up a roadside
stand in the summer and fall to sell fresh fruits
and vegetables that they grew on their farm. That's adorable.
And they made fresh jam to sell in the fall
as well. That's adorable. And they didn't lose any sleep
at night because Earl had to die. Goodbye. Are you
fucking kidding me? Is this like an April Fool's thing?
Happy April Fool's. Who chicked me? Yeah, I never would have.
I guess I didn't realize the other chick's name was Wanda.
I don't listen to that song all that often, but. Fuck.
I'm a damn fool. Did you make up his last
name or was that really his last name in the song?
I made up all the last names. So Wanda's last
name is the main singer. Sorry, the chick's last name.
And then Marianne's last name was one of the other bandmates.
And then Earl's last name is Natalie Maines' ex-husband's last name,
who she wrote their entire most recent album about. You...
Chixed me! I did. I'm so happy I got through
the whole story, though. I'm so happy I got through
the whole story. I'm such a fucking idiot. They make
jam in the song? Yep, the last part is they
sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam and they don't lose
any sleep at night because they're allowed to die. Yeah.
What the fuck? Obviously, I took some liberties. I had
to make it a story. I've been bamboozled! But you
had a good time. I was watching your face. I
did have a good time. Okay, now I don't feel
so bad about the fact that I really wanted him
dead as well. Now I don't feel as bad. You shouldn't,
because that was the whole point. happy fucking April Fool's
Day everyone I had a very good time writing this
thank you so much I've literally never seen you so
excited to tell a story and I was confused I
was like dude I mean like I don't really care
because obviously Earl had to die but like I don't
really give a shit about this guy but you're having
like you really don't give a shit about this guy
so folks if you haven't picked up on this before
I write fiction sometimes Every time, because the first line
of the song starts with Marianne and Wanda were the
best of friends. So every time I say their names together, I,
in my head, hear the song. So I would say
it like sometimes I'd switch them like Wanda and Marianne,
like don't, don't sing it. So sources for this episode
include the song Goodbye Earl by the Chicks and My
Weird Brain. Let us know at what point you figured
it out. I would love to know at what point
people figured this one out. If it was at minute 37, same. Now,
this was a fun and fictionalized story, but domestic violence
is real. So I don't want anyone thinking that we're
making fun of it. The Domestic Violence Hotline, you can
call anytime at 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-799-7233. You can also text
them at 88788 and send the word START to start
a conversation. And you can visit the website, thehotline.org. Wanted
to add that at the end. We are not making fun.
of violence no no i've been chicksed you have been
chicksed i will literally never ever ever ever let you
go off the schedule again i knew i had one
shot i would never be able to do this again
how funny would it be like next year it's like
You tell me the exact same story. And I was like, oh, interesting.
I did have a thought like, maybe I could do
this every year. Just pick a different song. It's like, no,
she would never let me do this again. I don't know.
My brain's not so great. If you tell me this
exact same story in a year from now, I'm like, oh, yeah. Well,
I mean, I get it because Earl's a dick. So
I totally get it. Well, thanks, sissy. I've been bamboozled
and I loved it. I also had a very good time.
I'm like cry laughing because this is so much fun. Oh, well, thanks, everyone.
And seriously, let us know when you figured out this
very real, very true story. Very real, very true. Hello. Okay. Well,
we got to go before she turns off my computer. Yep. Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye.
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