Hit Me Baby One More Time
Some of what happened in Gen X classrooms sounds fake until you say it out loud: hygiene inspections in front of everyone, paddles hanging in the office, teachers who could shame you publicly and nobody blinked. We’re Nicole and Heather, and we’re taking you back to school in the 1970s and 1980s to talk about the rules, punishments, and power dynamics that were once considered “normal” and would get a teacher fired today.
Along the way, we share real-life updates, including a brand-new kayaking obsession and a very Gen X “get off my lawn” moment about customer service and phone culture. We also pause to remember September 11 and to thank first responders, while talking honestly about how many were failed afterward when it came to long-term medical support.
Then we get into the heart of it: Gen X school discipline and how different public school and private school could be. We break down corporal punishment, corner time, aggressive yelling, bathroom restrictions, writing lines, dress code enforcement, confiscation, detention, and even the era when smoking around school spaces was just part of the background. We also talk about academic failure, ADHD, anxiety, and how much better today’s intervention systems can be when they’re done right. And we end on what still matters most: the rare teachers who saw us clearly and left words we carry decades later.
If this brings back a memory you haven’t thought about in years, subscribe, share the episode with a fellow Gen Xer, and leave a review so more people can find us. What was the wildest rule or punishment at your school?
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1 SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Like Whatever, a podcast for, by, and
about Gen X.
I'm Nicole, and this is my BFF brother.
SPEAKER_00: Hola.
SPEAKER_02: Of course, my kitten is trying to make all the noise
she possibly can.
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, this is the struggle.
SPEAKER_02: So man, we really love you guys.
I'll tell you what, because we have been struggling to get this
um episode out to you this week.
SPEAKER_00: So it is it is Thursday at six o'clock.
It is.
Uh we have already recorded 20 minutes and it is not gone well.
And we have internet issues, we're lagging, we're not in
person.
Uh, what else could go wrong?
I guess we can find out.
Yeah.
We'll fuck around and find out about what's gonna happen.
Also, uh, I just realized that you can probably hear um it is
bike week here, and so it is a never-ending stream of bikers.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_02: So immerse yourself in the experience.
It's like you're at biker week in ocean city.
SPEAKER_00: It's it's fantastic, it's just fantastic.
SPEAKER_02: Our last, our last, our last attempt to record, the
Verizon people showed up at my door and interrupted.
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so it's it's it's been a treat and a
half.
Uh so um to recap what we already talked about.
Um I went to the DMV.
It sucked.
That's where I was yesterday.
Tuesday was the day after holiday.
It's a nightmare for me.
Blah, blah, blah.
There you go.
Now you go with your new hobby.
SPEAKER_02: New hobby.
So I tried out kayaking this weekend.
I grew up around water and I love being on the water, it's
very comforting to me.
And I need exercise, and I've never tried kayaking before, so
I thought, why not?
So I went to one of the local state parks where you can go and
rent a kayak by the hour.
And never having done it before, I went and got on and rode
around for an hour, and it was awesome, and I loved it.
And two days later I did it again.
And tomorrow I'm doing it again, and I need to get my own uh
kayak.
So that's uh my recount.
SPEAKER_00: That is scary.
That is scary stuff.
SPEAKER_02: I don't it's funny that you think it's scary
because I um I text a picture of my uh selfie of myself out on
the pond to my parents, and um, my stepmom wrote back, Oh, dad
has been so worried about you.
I'm so glad you we're so glad you're wearing a life jacket.
SPEAKER_00: That is because it is dangerous.
Like kayaking, like if you flip in that motherfucker, it's not
in the middle of a pond.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I waved to a fellow kayaker and he was like
in his 80s, like he was fine.
Whatever, it's dangerous, it's not dangerous, it's super chill,
super fun, very relaxing, low impact.
I only have a little bit of muscle soreness, which is what I
like.
Just a little.
All right, so besides yeah, um, those things we did this week.
Um, I did mention that Dr.
Demento was on Master's Jeopardy this week as an answer.
That was pretty cool.
Right, yep.
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember what episode I said?
55, but oh, you know what I just realized?
There's two 55.
So with the episode 55.5.
Uh is there a doctor in the house?
All right.
Oh, my own.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I did mean to, and I forgot this earlier when
we recorded.
So maybe this is I don't know.
It's probably not good.
But anyway, I have to be the old man, get off my lawn guy for a
minute.
When I went to go kayaking, I was just having a very joyful
time myself.
But the two kids that were working there were awful.
And I hate to talk bad about the youth of today because I do work
with high school teenagers and I see a lot of kids that work
really, really hard.
But I totally saw, I feel like I really saw the effects of social
media and phones with these two.
So I go up, it's a boy and a girl.
I say, Hi, I'm here.
Like this is my first time ever kayaking.
Um, I just want to try it out and see if I like it.
And they're both just staring at me.
Well, firstly, the manager was there or whatever, and she told
them, she's like, Oh, can you guys make sure to straighten up
the canoes?
They're not stacked right.
And the girl just like looks out the window, makes a face, like,
never answers her.
The guy never answers her.
This is your boss.
So then, you know, they are both just completely not speaking to
me, just no personality, no social skills whatsoever.
None.
Like, I kept trying to make little chit-chat back and forth.
Nothing.
Like, weren't even talking, like very disappointing.
So, parents, teach your kids to have conversations with people.
Learn how to to be a a people, yeah.
Yeah, it was just it was it was kind of sad, really.
Like, and they didn't care, it's not like they were shy or
anything, they just didn't want to talk to me.
And I know I'm an old lady and all that, but you're still at
your job.
Let's let's customer service hello at your job.
All right, anyway, I'm off my old man's footbox now.
All right, before we get into today's topic, please like share
reading.
Wait, oh wait, oh, oh, wait forgot.
SPEAKER_00: We did we forgot one ahead.
So this is airing, possibly, I don't know, on uh September
11th.
We don't have to go into where we were and all that, if you
remember.
Uh, but we just wanted to take a moment to thank all the first
responders everywhere and everywhere.
Um, thank you for your service.
And it is uh a real shame that the first responders have been
treated the way they have been treated since with their um
medical issues and as well as the victims.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there should have been massive support for
all of them, and it's just and they were lies about um what how
much they knew when they were letting people go back into the
area.
Um, that's not me making shit up.
Mandavi released some files this week that um show that they were
lying to the public.
So yeah, it's just it's kind of a sad thing to bring up on the
25th anniversary, but it's important um that these people
get the help that they need.
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, it should have been it should have been
automatic.
You should have gotten if you were there that day, your
medical bills should be covered in perpetuity.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so exactly.
It should be in your file somewhere that all bills go
here.
So yes, but yes, remembering um September 11th, everyone, yeah,
it was awful.
And like I said earlier, yeah, watching specials this week, it
really when that plane hits, it really does take me right back
to that moment.
Like I feel like I just saw it for the first time, yeah, and
it's just terrifying.
Um yeah, all right.
Thank you for remembering to bring that up.
Okay, all right.
So now like share rate review.
Um, find us where you listen to podcasts, find us on all the
socials at like whatever pod.
Uh we have a website that has all of our episodes and merch on
it at like whateverpod.com.
And you can send us an email at like whatever pod at gmail.com.
All right, yeah.
So previously Heather didn't know what this topic was.
Yeah, she knows now.
But anyway, let's fuck around.
You know now.
Let's fuck around and find out about Gen X school days.
So um my read um I got my information this week from
homeaddict.com and thezenparent.com.
Um I figured we're back to school right now.
I still love seeing people's first day of school picks with
their kids.
I know a lot of people are like really annoyed by it, but I
think it's adorable and I miss when my kids have their days of
school.
Although being an empty nester is a million times better, but
it was.
SPEAKER_00: My my sister my sister sent me my niece's last
birthday.
She is a senior this year, so yeah, I got that yesterday, uh
day before yesterday.
Yeah, yesterday.
I don't know what day it is this week.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and Facebook memories is great for seeing old
pictures of my kids on their first day of school, too.
So that's pretty fun.
But we're gonna talk about what it was like to go to school back
when we went to school.
Back in the 1900s.
Step into a 1970s classroom and you'd barely recognize it.
Teachers wielded rulers like skeptors, send kids to corners
and weren't afraid to get physical.
The educational landscape has transformed dramatically since
these bell bottom days.
Some changes protect students from harmful practices, while
others reflect our evolving views on discipline and respect.
Let's discover what was what once was perfectly normal, but
would now end a teacher's career immediately.
Firstly, we used to get hygiene inspections.
Um, and we mentioned earlier that um we're gonna get two
perspectives here because Heather went to private school
and I went to public school.
So we're going to see what the differences were.
We've already established she did not have hygiene inspections
because she only went to school with rich kids.
So rich kids.
Um teachers conducted regular nail, hair, and general
cleanliness checks of students.
Children lined up for inspections while teachers
scrutinized their appearance before the entire class.
Failing these inspections often resulted in public comments
about personal hygiene.
Schools considered this part of teaching proper social standards
to children.
Such practices now violate student privacy protections and
would trigger immediate complaints from parents.
So I it's funny to me, like so many, almost all of these
actually just give me so much anxiety, not only thinking about
going through it as a child, not that I have problems with the
hygiene inspection, but um not saying I didn't either, I don't
know.
Um, but um just thinking of all the anxiety.
I mean, it's no wonder all us Gen Xers have anxiety.
Like, can you imagine just having the only adult in the
room belittle you in front of all your friends?
I mean, your friends are already bulling you because you stink,
and all the teachers making fun of you too.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the pure torture that we endured is just
unimaginable.
SPEAKER_02: It was, and we're gonna keep going.
Next is corporal punishment.
Back in the 1970s, teachers routinely used wooden paddles to
discipline students.
Uh, the practice remained legal across numerous states, with
some schools even keeping special paddles decorated with
holes to increase pain.
And these are the paddles, or this is the paddle that they had
in my school.
Um, I want to say it was middle school, though.
I feel like when I picture the paddle, because it's like
engraved in my brain, it's in the middle school office.
But it was a big paddle with holes in it.
And every year they would send home a permission slip, like
they would send for field trips and fun stuff like that, giving
permission for the school to beat you.
So um, my mom would never sign the slip because she always said
that if the school did anything bad enough, or if I did anything
bad enough to beat you by the school, she would beat me 10
times worse.
That is true.
SPEAKER_00: I had the similar at our school, it didn't have to be
a permission slip because they were allowed to do whatever they
wanted.
Um, but we did not have a paddle, but it was uh well known
that you could be disciplined.
Um, the thing in our school was it was always the discipline was
this is a privilege, your parents are s are paying to send
you here.
Um so act like it.
If this is a you could be kicked out any moment, and the sheer
thought of it's weird because the way they revved up public
schools was like you were basically gonna die because
someone was going to kill you at a public school.
Like it just our our our principal was a very large man,
and um he would say, No, no, we don't we don't do that here.
If you want to do that, you go to Stephen Decatur, which was
the public school that was down the street.
Um so it was it was you your your parents are paying good
money for you to be here.
Um this is a privilege, you can be kicked out any minute.
Uh and I don't know why that was enough to uh I mean I guess it's
weird too because you'd think there'd be more, not more
discipline problems, but more of a like an elite discipline.
Like I am better than everybody else.
Like I I don't have to.
That's what I was thinking.
But I mean, it worked.
We and like the the way our school was was like the kids
that went there were the children of the major businesses
in the area.
So and like um, you know, the local town it they were all big
fish in small towns, and you know, since everybody knew each
other and everybody knows who your parents are and blah blah
blah.
But so I don't know why that wasn't a problem, but I mean,
him he would shut it down and it got shut down.
Like there was no we didn't really have discipline problems.
It was and if you were a discipline problem, you were
asked to leave.
And well, there was a couple of kids in in my class that did not
come back after uh I yeah, it was like they went to school
with us for like five or six years, and then they just one
one day disappeared and they did not come back.
SPEAKER_02: I wonder if they went to public school or if
they're buried on the premises somewhere.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I I've seen them on Facebook, so I do know
that they are still alive.
Um I assume they got shipped to different are they hardened
criminals?
Um, I don't think so.
But I think that they just were and I don't think they went to
public school, so I don't really know if they went to like maybe
like a a military school or boarding school, or like that
was your next option out.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
Military school was big back then.
SPEAKER_00: We did have one girl that got pregnant, not in my
grade, but it was like two or three grades behind me, and she
left and did not ever come back.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, she's probably still in a nunnery somewhere.
Yeah, if she might be, she might be.
Um, students might get paddled for talking back, uh, skipping
class, or even poor academic performance.
School administrators often witness these punishments, which
sometimes left visible marks.
Today, most public schools have banned this practice completely,
and I'm so shocked that there are still schools that do it.
But as you mentioned earlier, that's private schools.
SPEAKER_00: Private schools private schools, Christian
schools, Catholic schools.
I do believe that they are allowed to.
Yeah.
Private schools have way different roles, like
significantly different roles.
I don't know about now because obviously I don't go to a
private school, but um, and my niece and nephew didn't.
Um, so we didn't have to go as many days.
Um, our school day was shorter, like Wednesday, up until middle
school, I think it was.
My Wednesday, we got done school early.
Um, and they used the rest of the day as like uh uh like in
service situation where you know the teachers had their meetings
and stuff.
And then we up until up until middle school, I went back like
two weeks after the public schools went to school.
Um, we didn't go back till like the middle of September, and
then um we had different holidays.
I think it's regular schools have to go like 180 days, and I
think private schools I I want to say we only had to go 160.
It was less.
SPEAKER_02: That's funny that there would be a discrepancy
though, because when I had when I homeschooled, I still had to
do 180 days.
Like I had to keep record.
SPEAKER_00: No, we didn't have we didn't have to go as we had
because we and we had like um so instead we went back two weeks
later, we had um a winter break in January.
At the end of January, we had a a week-long vacation, and then
our spring break was a full week.
We had a full week around Easter, and then we got out um
the beginning of June, like it was earlier usually than than
public school went back or got out also.
SPEAKER_02: I guess those rich folks have to fit in all their
vacations, so well that and we had to work.
SPEAKER_00: We didn't go back until mid-September because we
were all working.
Um because around here we have it's called second season.
So after Labor Day, Labor Day is the official end of summer here,
but then um September and October is uh people without
kids tend to vacation here.
It's still warm, it's still lovely, it's actually the best
time of year to come here.
Um everything is still open, but the um college kids went back
and stuff, so we all had to work.
SPEAKER_01: So that's why yeah.
That's right.
SPEAKER_02: Next is the corner time shaming.
Teachers commonly sent misbehaved students to stand
facing the corner as punishment.
Kids might stand there the entire class period, becoming
spectacles for their peers.
The psychological impact of this public shaming was considered
less important than maintaining classroom order.
Students dreaded corner time not just for the boredom, but for
the humiliation it caused.
Modern education approaches now focus on constructive discipline
rather than these outdated shaming tactics.
All right, firstly, there's so not much discipline in the
schools anymore.
SPEAKER_03: I imagine.
SPEAKER_02: They're not allowed to an either.
SPEAKER_00: My sister actually, they her class was very clicky.
And they had um, I mean our class was too, but not as uh
once I got older, theirs wasn't nearly as clicky as mine, but
back in elementary school, theirs was now.
So because we only had 300 kids in the entire kindergarten
through 12th grade, um, we had it was all in one building at
the time.
It's much bigger now, but um we had all all of our class, all of
our grades were in the same building.
And middle school changed classes, so they in between
would be out in the halls, and then middle school and up, so uh
high school also uh changed classes, and so my sister's
class, I forget what they did, but it was all the girls.
I think they didn't invite like one girl to a sleepover and they
found out about it, and you know, that was frowned upon.
Like if you were gonna invite people, you can't talk about it
in in school, anyway.
So they got in trouble.
So what they did to them in elementary school, like fifth,
sixth grade, so like I guess it was like fifth grade.
So what they did to them was they sent them out in the hall
and they had to stand against the lockers during class change
for the upper school.
So middle school and high school kids were changing classes, and
they had to stand outside in the hallway with their noses against
lockers.
You don't want to talk about humiliation.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: I just think about with this corner thing, like
imagine a poor kid with ADD.
Yeah.
Like you probably got in trouble because you couldn't sit still
anyway, and now you have to stand and stare at a corner,
like, oh Lord.
Yeah.
Luckily, we've wised up a little bit.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: All right, next is Outright Academic Failure.
Teachers had much more freedom to fail students without
excessive documentation or intervention attempts.
A single poor test score could determine a student's fate.
Parents receive report cards with failing grades and little
explanation about how to improve.
The concept of academic support systems barely existed in many
schools.
Currently, schools require multiple interventions, parent
conferences, and documented remediation efforts before a
student can receive a failing grade.
So what was I gonna say about that?
SPEAKER_00: So I'll tell I'll say what I have to say about
that.
Um of course at our school, it was um you you you could fail.
They like the entire time it was college prep.
So to that end, everybody had to go to college.
Um there was no option of not going to college.
You went to college, and the fact that I graduated with 20
people in my class, so obviously it's a lot easier to keep track
of everybody's academic situation.
So we did have a lot of in there was a lot of intervention.
Like you, I personally I started at a public school from my
kindergarten, and then I went into first grade.
At our school, you had to know how to read by the time you got
to first grade, period.
End of story.
There was no no, you had to read.
Um so the summer before, luckily, because we had a
restaurant, and most of the time it's teachers then that had
summer jobs.
So I was able to get tutored and I was able to read when I went
into first grade.
Um and then on Wednesdays, like I said, we didn't go in until or
we got out earlier.
The teacher stayed and tutored me to keep to make sure I was uh
up.
And then we also had uh parent-teacher conferences at
least once a term.
So we had four terms a year.
Um, and it was usually right before uh report cards came out,
so they could tell you where you were, and it would usually be
for the kids that were struggling.
I'm not gonna call her out, but I am gonna call her out.
My sister did struggle, she had horrible ADD, her children have
ADD, or her son has ADD, and he was able to be medicated, but
back then that wasn't a thing.
So um she was always my mom was always at parent teacher
conferences for my sister.
SPEAKER_02: I can't even fathom either of your parents at a
teacher conference.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, my mom had to go all the they now to toot my own
horn.
Um, I did not have academic issues, other than the fact that
I never studied for anything and I sailed through school and had
actually applied myself.
Maybe same way.
SPEAKER_02: And then we got to college and we're like, oh shit,
I never learned how to study.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Um, so when she had to do conferences for my stuff,
it was always like the teacher would just be like, I had to
call somebody in, and so I called you because they really
liked talking to my mom.
Like my mom was a favorite.
So she would always have conferences for me that was just
like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's fine.
How are you?
Like, what's it going with?
But for her, it was it was it was a struggle for her.
She did struggle through school, and it it's it's unfortunate
because she wasn't stupid.
Um, but but she always felt stupid because she did not learn
the same way as everybody else.
And then when I got older, uh I was tasked with tutoring her and
helping her get through school.
Um, because I knew how she learned.
And had she grown up today, then she would have done much better
in school, and I think had a much higher self-esteem because
she cannot, she cannot read something and then and
comprehend it.
She can, but she has to be paying attention.
So, what I would do for her is I would be like, just listen to
what I am saying to you.
Like, and I would make her pay attention, and I would read to
her whatever it was.
As soon as I read to her, she got it.
Like, yeah, it was just she would read the same paragraph
over and over and over and not comprehend it because she just
couldn't get through it.
SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's all she needed was someone to read
it to her.
A test, she could not read a test and take a test and do well
on it.
But if you read it to her, she got it, no problem.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I'm so glad they do have the supports
for kids now.
Like you can have stuff read to you.
There are I I know students that have the same problem your
sister has.
So Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But back then you just were a pain in the butt.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and she's still that way.
If you read it to her, she's fine, she gets it, she has no
problem.
But her having to read something and comprehend it, it's just
it's a struggle for her.
SPEAKER_02: Her brain just doesn't work that way.
All right, the next thing is throwing things at kids.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Frustrated teachers sometimes threw chalk, erasers,
and other objects at distracted students.
These projectiles flew across rooms to start oldreamers back
to attention.
Students learned to duck or dodge these classroom missiles
while their classmates left.
Teachers faced no consequences for these actions despite
potential in uh injuries.
Can't do that anymore.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Right.
Yeah, they just definitely.
Yeah.
Oh my god, if a kid went home today and said so-and-so through
an eraser, oh Lord, oh, that would be the end.
Next one, um, ear pulling discipline and um hair pulling.
So teachers regularly discipline students by pulling them by
their ears or hair.
This painful practice served as both punishment and a method to
physically direct children.
Students feared certain teachers, known for their strong
grip and willingness to use this tactic.
Most schools tolerated this behavior as normal classroom
management.
And I was thinking about so I will never forget my second
grade teacher was the meanest lady in the whole entire world.
And there was uh a student in my class, and he was um black, and
so he just had really short little hair on his head, and she
would come up and just grab his hair in between her fingernails
and pull, and that kid would scream, and she was so mean.
She's gonna come up again later.
Um, but I noticed that that was at like Forest, and then after
second grade, I went to Milford, and I don't have any really
memories in Milford of kids getting abused, not like in the
classroom like that, like directly from a teacher in the
middle of class.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
But we did not have that.
We don't I don't remember that ever happening.
Now my dad used to do that to me.
That's how my dad disciplined.
He would grab you by the short hairs right around your face to
get you to pay attention.
Oh, it was awful.
He he wouldn't do that.
Yeah, he would grab you just by that hair and like just pinch
your hair.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like these little ones right around your face.
I do, I do, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what that was my dad's got him.
SPEAKER_03: Ugh.
So mean.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
All right, aggressive verbal discipline.
Teacher shouted at students with several or with few restrictions
on tone or language.
Red-faced instructors might berate a child inches from their
face for minor infractions.
Students sat through tirades that sometimes included insults
about their intelligence or character.
School administrators rarely intervene unless complaints
reached extreme levels.
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah.
All right, this one I didn't do, but I maybe they wouldn't make
it.
Mandatory classroom cleaning.
So students who misbehaved often found themselves scrubbing
floors and washing chalkboards after school.
I did wash chalkboards and clean erasers.
SPEAKER_00: Yes, we did that.
Yes, we did that.
SPEAKER_02: I remember that.
Teachers assigned these tasks without parental permission or
concern for after-school commitments.
Cleaning could last hours depending on the teacher's
discretion.
This unpaid labor served as both punishment and free janitorial
services.
SPEAKER_00: We didn't do the floors, but we did do the
chalkboards.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I remember the chalkboards.
I don't I don't remember doing a lot of other stuff, but I have a
bad memory too.
Um, bathroom break restrictions.
Teachers regularly denied bathroom uh requests without
medical documentation or emergency situations.
Students sat uncomfortably and had accidents because teachers
suspected that they just wanted to wander the halls.
Some teachers created elaborate systems limiting bathroom visits
to a few per semester.
Children learned to endure discomfort rather than ask
permission.
And that's just crazy.
Like I remember bathroom passes.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: But I was a good kid, so I don't remember ever
being denied going to the bathroom, but I could see that
happening.
SPEAKER_00: I didn't go to bathroom at school.
I didn't go.
I didn't I held it all now, I held it all day.
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't surprise me.
SPEAKER_00: That's probably what the problem is nowadays, is
because yeah.
SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
All right.
And kids still do ask to go to the bathroom to wander the hall,
so that's just nothing that's ever.
Yeah, of course they do.
Um repetitive writing punishments.
I think we all did this.
Yes.
Yes.
Students who broke rules often wrote the same sentence hundreds
of times in class might fill pages of notebook paper before
you could go home.
Teachers checked completed punishments for neatness and
exact count.
This mindless activity consumed hours that could have been spent
on actual learning.
Yeah.
That was just, I mean, what a lazy way to discipline somebody.
Because you know the kid's gonna sit there and get it done
because they can't leave until they're done.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
A fun fact about me though, is that is actually how I studied,
I would just rewrite my notes or whatever in the book over and
over and over again.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: I did it for you.
I was the exact same way.
When we went when we went to UD and I didn't know how to study
because I did so good in high school, I would sit up the night
before an exam and rewrite my notes as many times as I could,
sleep for like two hours, go take the test, and then poof,
all that information was gone.
Yep.
Never to be pulled back up again.
All right, this is what I'm wondering about you.
Address code dismissals.
Teachers sent students home immediately for clothing
violations without considering transportation or supervision.
A skirt one inch too short could result in missing an entire
school day of instruction.
Parents received no advanced warning that their child was
being removed from school.
School administrators supported these removals despite
educational disruption.
So you wore a uniform to school?
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I did.
Um, and we had to do uniform checks and you got yelled at for
it because the girl I never did, because I never liked my legs,
but they would all roll their skirts and then they would just
roll them back down um when it was time because you had to put
your fingers down and they had to be so far off your fingers,
or you had to kneel and they had to be like so far off the
ground.
Um we also had to wear navy blue socks and they had to be pulled
up to your knee.
Um, and they would yell at you just nonstop that.
Um, so at my school, you could not be dismissed without your
parent getting you or knowing about it.
So when I was able to drive, they would call, and if nobody
answered, then you sat in the office until someone answered.
Um I I had a um my junior and senior year, sophomore junior
and senior years, 10th, 11th to 12th grade, I struggled with, I
don't want to call it an eating disorder.
Um I'm sure that it is technically an eating disorder
where I just didn't eat for weeks and I get the best, but
then I would and I guess it was kind of a binge purge situation.
Um but I got I would get really sick plus uh TMI, I guess.
My period was really, really, really, really, really bad.
Um, so my first day I would throw up with it.
Um and I remember I went to I was not feeling well, and I went
to school because I had a test that I needed to take.
Um because I'm a nerd.
And I went to school anyway, and I was sick, so I would I did
have to use the bathroom because I would throw up.
Um, and I went to the nurse and I was like, look, I just wanna
because our nurse's office had a bed in it.
I was like, I just want I have my test was like last period or
second to last period.
I was like, I have this test, I have to take it.
But I've been throwing up, and so I went and laid it in there,
and she let me lay that for a little while, but I kept
throwing up.
So she was like, You can't, no, not working.
SPEAKER_02: I'm sick and hearing you.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you're gonna have to go home.
Well, the problem was, and I could drive, so I had driven
myself.
So she kept calling, and my mom was not at home, or she couldn't
hear because my mom is a vacuum in nut, like she will vacuum the
house 27 times a day.
And so she I I guess they kept trying to call and they kept
missing her or whatever, and it's just we didn't have an
answering machine or anything like that.
So, like it was like probably two hours that they were trying
to get a hold of my mom, and they couldn't, so they couldn't
dismiss me because they didn't have they tried calling my my
dad's parents and they never answered the fucking phone.
They tried calling like everybody on my emergency
contact list, and no one was answering to try and send me
home.
So finally they were like, Okay, like you obviously cannot stay,
you you are not well, you need to leave.
So they sent me home, and the condition was that when I got
home, I had to have my mom call.
Um, and because they knew everybody, so they knew who your
parents were, they knew you by name, you know, there was no
like anonymity.
So I was like, okay, I'll go.
And I drove home, and when I got home, my mom was home, and she
turned around and she looked at me and she was like, What the
hell are you doing here?
And I was like, You gotta call to school because you know I'm
left.
So it was impossible for me to skip school too, because if you
weren't at school in the morning for roll call or whatever they
called it, they called your they called your house.
Yeah, they called your parents to find out where the fuck you
were.
And yeah, there was no skipping school.
And if you did not, if you were there in the morning and then
you at some point disappeared, they would call your house to
find out where you were.
Anyway, so my mom ended up calling to school.
Well, like two minutes after I walked in the door.
You remember my car, it was a very distinct car.
It was a 1982 Lincoln Continental, Burgundy, big as a
house.
Blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_01: Yep, yep.
SPEAKER_00: Two minutes after I get home and my mom calls to
school.
My dad's brother calls my mom and was like, um, I'm pretty
sure I just saw Heather in Ocean City in her car.
Like, do you know she's not in school?
And I was like, first of all, rat.
Thanks, rat.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, that's rude.
And my mom was like, Yeah, yeah, right.
And then my mom was like, Yeah, she just walked in the door now.
She's she's sick.
I I do know.
Thank you very much for the call.
But I was like, what the fuck, bro?
Like, you're supposed to be like fun uncle, and you just rat in
my ass out.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I will say one time my youngest, when she she
probably wasn't driving yet because she was on foot, but um
a friend of mine saw her walking, walking with friends on
the highway up by the mall, and she called me and she's like, Do
you know Lydia is here?
So I text Lydia, I was like, What are you doing walking on
the highway by the mall?
How do you know?
I still to this day have never told her who told me.
Not that it really matters, but I wouldn't have rather.
SPEAKER_00: She was so freaked out that I knew I probably
wouldn't have ratted about, but I would have turned around and
gone back and been like, Whoa, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_02: Yes, where do you need a ride to?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you need to be somewhere that's not the
highway.
SPEAKER_02: So let's yes, yes, exactly.
Yep.
All right.
Next, teachers used to smoke around students.
Teachers smoked cigarettes in faculty lounges and sometimes
even in classrooms between periods.
Smoke drifted through the school hallways as a normal part of the
environment.
Students watched their role models light up throughout the
day.
Ashtrays appeared in staff areas throughout the school buildings.
I I remember when I was in a freshman in high school.
No, I could drive.
Must have been a sophomore.
Um, I used to teach Spanish to elementary school kids in the
after-school programs.
Remember they had after school, you could think Spanish, French,
dance, or karate might have been the other one.
Oh, you might not remember, but and I got paid by the state and
everything.
Like it was a legit job.
Oh, wow.
But yeah, but I had to go to the middle school to do that.
I drove from the high school to the middle school, and then the
elementary kids were bust there.
But that's the first time I went into a teacher's lounge because
I was there like after school to do stuff, and I was blown away
by how much smoking was going.
I don't remember teachers smoking in my classrooms, but
whoo, that yeah, lounge.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
It was the teacher's lounge.
Yeah, the teacher's lounge, they smoked, but they could not
smoke.
They did not smoke in the classrooms, but the teacher's
lounge was like bad.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: All right.
Next um knuckle whacking.
Teachers disciplined students by striking their knuckles with
rulers, pointers, or even books.
This quick painful punishment occurred mid-lesson for minor
infractions like slouching or daydreaming.
Students learn to hide their hands when teachers approach
with implements.
Some teachers became known for the force of their knuckle
correction.
So you went to private Catholic school where you whacked.
SPEAKER_00: But um, it wasn't Catholic.
SPEAKER_02: No.
SPEAKER_00: No, I guess I didn't.
Yeah, it wasn't religious.
Um, they did not do that.
I never saw anybody get whacked with a ruler or anything like
that.
They did not.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
I've seen it like so much in like movies and things like I
can't remember if I ever really saw it or if it's just something
I know of.
SPEAKER_00: That was definitely a Catholic school thing.
I think that was like a Yeah, I think we're known for that.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: All right, permanent item confiscation.
Um, teachers freely confiscated and kept students' personal
possessions with no intention of returning them.
Notes, toys, and other contraband filled teachers' desk
drawers as trophies.
Students lost items with monetary and sentimental value
without recourse.
Parents had little success retrieving these confiscated
items.
I do remember them taking stuff away.
SPEAKER_00: I remember them taking stuff away, but I don't
remember it being a permanent situation.
Like I feel like you got it back at the end of the day, and then
it was like, never bring this here again.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
See, some of these they're hard for me to remember because I was
a super good kid because I was so scared of my mom.
So um a lot of them didn't personally happen to me.
And I hung with the nerds too, so they didn't get in a lot of
trouble.
Not till high school, then we all got in trouble.
Um let's see, a physical removal to the office.
Teachers physically dragged misbehaving students to the
principal's office by arms, ears, or collars.
This forceful removal happened in front of classmates as both
punishment and warning.
Students sometimes sustained bruises or other minor injuries
during these removals.
Schools considered this appropriate enforcement of
authority.
SPEAKER_00: Um I do remember one time my biology teacher picked a
kid up in his desk and carried the whole desk out into the
hallway with the kids and the desk.
And you did not want to get sent.
It was so we had a headmaster was like the principal of the
like the the high highest guy.
And then the high school and middle school had one principal,
and then the elementary school had another principal, and our
elementary school principal, Dr.
Marsh, she, I don't know why, but she fucking loved me and my
sister.
I mean loved us.
Um my upper school, that's what we called it.
It was lower school and upper school.
Um my upper school principal also loved I think he really
just liked my dad.
Um he was like a he was a really big dude and he really like I
think he liked my dad a lot.
And we didn't cause trouble, so we were good kids and stuff.
Um but you were scared to death to go to him.
Like if you got sent to him, he he never I don't I don't know
that he ever hit anybody, but like it he was big physical
enough that it was like you don't want to fuck around and
find out what he's capable of.
Um but there was a time that I got sent to the principal um big
in gym class because we got sent outside to run the mile, and um
fun fact about Heather, I don't run for any reason.
I can back that up.
I don't, yeah, I will not.
I could be chased by a bear and I'm gonna die.
Um, I don't run.
And I refused to run.
It was like 85 degrees outside.
I only had sweatpants, I wasn't running.
I would walk, I sent out a walk.
Well, she did not like me, and so she was like, No, you're
gonna run.
And I was like, I'm not, I'm not running.
And so her and I argued about it.
And um, I would use I have a heart condition, and I use that
a lot in gym class.
I would be like, No, I can't, because I have a heart
condition.
Um, so she did send me to the to Mr.
O'Hare once, and I walked into his office and he just looked at
me and he was like, Why don't you lie?
Why?
And I was like, Because she has got us outside in 90 degree heat
and is trying to make me run.
I said I would walk, but I'm not running a mile, I'm just not
doing it, it's not happening for for gym class, like it's just
not a thing that is gonna happen in my lifetime.
And he was like, Did you bring something to read?
And I was like, I have all my books, yeah.
And he was like, All right, we'll sit here quietly and study
for something.
And I was like, Okay, and then I also got sent to well, so when I
was a junior, I did take up with the wrong crowd.
And junior homecoming, I got suspended from school for
drinking.
I remember, and yeah, they I got they called our parents that
night, and they had my dad had to come get me, and my big scary
principal was so concerned about my dad and how angry my dad was
that he was justifying the situation to my dad.
He kept saying, you know, that his kids and they, you know,
they they make stupid mistakes, and you know, it's it's but we
have to discipline them and blah blah blah.
So he was more concerned about my safety going home to my dad
that he kind of yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
But my headmaster, that dude was a fucking joke, like nobody took
him seriously.
We all like were like whatever.
We all called him by his first name.
It was like, okay, Mary.
Like, nobody, nobody gave two shits about what his discipline
was.
Because he was like the one that would always be like, now you
have to like, you know, this is the standard of the school, and
you're like, fuck you.
Like, he never he it was a joke.
SPEAKER_02: We we never yeah, I remember shit about getting that
getting sent to the principal's office was terrifying.
Like I was always terrified of it, it only happened to me once
in high school.
I've told the story before, I won't repeat it right now.
I'm sure all of you, but I could see the principal trying not to
laugh because I was such a good kid and I was so terrified, and
it was just such a dumb thing, you know.
So yeah, I don't I don't know if kids get that.
Well, now they have cops in all the schools, so I don't know if
principals do anything.
SPEAKER_00: Well, the other thing that I had was the the
principal, the scary principal, his son was in my class, so we
also had the added that we knew him like outside of school also.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that probably helped.
SPEAKER_00: You know, and he was a coach, he he coached the um
lacrosse team.
Um and he did he was the the one in charge of our theater
project.
SPEAKER_03: So very cool.
SPEAKER_02: Multi-level.
All right, lastly, and I did do this mandatory after school
detention.
Teachers kept students after school without parental
notification or transportation considerations.
Detention might last hours with no phone call home explaining
the delay.
Rural students missed buses and walked miles after punishment
sessions.
After school time fell completely under teachers'
discretion.
I know for a fact that they didn't tell my our parents that
we were in detention because I would get detention.
I I couldn't shut up.
I liked talking class, like it wasn't me being mad, I just like
to socialize.
And it would get me detention sometimes.
And I don't ever remember my mother killing me, so there's no
way she knew I was in detention.
And I don't know how I got home, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, how'd you get home then?
SPEAKER_02: I uh I don't know.
I can re distinctly remember in middle school being in detention
a couple of times.
Um yeah, and I lived way out.
Yeah, I lived way far out then.
SPEAKER_00: So we we were we were our parents were informed
we had detention, and it would be a big deal because especially
for me, because my dad absol fucking lutely hated to come and
get me at school.
I don't know what his deal was, why he hated driving over there,
but he it was like ugh, he hated it.
If we missed the bus in the morning at school, he would
chase the bus down to almost the same amount of time it would
take him to just fucking drive me to school, he would chase the
bus down.
I don't know what his deal was, but he hated driving over there
to come get us.
So all right.
SPEAKER_02: Well that that's that's what I had for today.
I that didn't go the direction I thought it would go in, but I
absolutely loved hearing all of your pers your like perspective,
not perspective, but what you went through, what private
school was like.
SPEAKER_00: Um I didn't know a lot of that stuff, and it's it's
it's a weird thing because um there's a lot of things that I
loved about going to private school, and there's a lot of
things I hated about it.
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, like I like that you were safe and you were
getting a good education, and the things like that.
SPEAKER_00: The reason that I was put in my my parents
absolutely positively could not afford for me to go to this
school.
This was like the best, this was and still is the best school
here.
Like it is just is.
Because of the small class size, and because you're paying like
both arms and legs to go there, it's well funded, obviously.
Um, the library that they have built now there looks like the
library of fucking Congress.
It's like insane.
Um it was we did not have academics, we were number one.
Like we had sports, but they were kind of an afterthought.
Like you didn't really play you did play the public schools
around here, but we didn't have football.
Um, we had a basketball team, but it was like a joke.
SPEAKER_02: Um it was more just to make yourself more rounded
when you graduate.
SPEAKER_00: Well, exactly.
Like it that's anything that was not academic was more of a of a
an elective situation so that you had a a greater background.
Um yeah.
So academics were number one, and that to me for me was good.
Um the small class sizes was really good.
You know, you had you definitely had one-on-one.
Um we also did not choose our classes.
Like I know um that I don't know about when you went, but the
public schools here for my niece and nephew.
It was you picked a pathway.
SPEAKER_02: Um that part is new.
I did get to pick my own classes.
I mostly took college prep because I was a nerd too.
But um, yeah, now they have the pathways.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we did not choose our class, like there was
um once you got up into the upper grades, there was a little
bit more of a choosing that you could take.
Like you could choose between French and Spanish.
That was it.
There was no other same in public, yeah.
Um, in middle school, we had to take um seventh and eighth
grade.
We took Latin both years, um, to prepare you for learning a new
language.
So you had the base, and that was another thing that I I feel
was ex was really good because not only did you learn the base
to learn a new language, but you also learned um the base
science, it made science easier, um, you know, and and and
everything like that.
And then when you got to 10th grade, no, 11th grade, 11th
grade, you could decide on um it was there were easier classes
and then there were harder classes.
So um I don't remember what the term for it was right now.
Um I took the easier classes because I'm not fucking stupid
and I knew that I didn't want to struggle.
Um because I am bad at math.
And math is my I probably would have taken the higher classes
had math not been involved with them.
So uh we took pre-calculus and calculus, and they took uh oh
no, I was in calculus, so I did take calculus.
I see what was oh oh it was statistics, was the lower one.
I did take calculus.
Um why I have no idea, because I took the lesser of the two
English.
Um but but it was just science, math, and um English were the
only three that you had the two options of the harder or the
easier.
Um I didn't want to take chemistry.
Um so that the choice was either chemistry or botany, and I took
botany.
Um because I didn't want to struggle in chemistry, and I
knew I would.
Um chemistry's hard.
Yeah, and but other than that, like it was you, these are the
classes you took.
It also was, and we found that I found this out with my sister,
the classes that you took were more credits than what you
needed to graduate.
Oh.
So that if you did fail, because she failed math, like she's not
good at math either.
So she failed math, but she was still able to graduate because
she had enough credits to move her on.
So all of our credits were were higher level than a regular
school, so that if you did have an issue in a class that you
could still graduate.
Um also could not graduate if you did not attend graduation.
There was no, they there was no not walking for graduation.
You had to attend and my sister almost didn't graduate because
we did not wear a cap and gown, which is one of the major things
I was upset about that I did not get to wear a cap and gown.
Um why they made us wear white dresses and the guys had to wear
tuxes, I have no idea, but that's the way it was.
So um, but my sister for her eight, my sister was older.
Um, she got held back a grade.
So she was older when she graduated.
I was 17 when I graduated.
She was eight, she was over 18.
She was almost 19 when she graduated.
For her 18th birthday, I bought her a tattoo.
And you could not have like that was not a thing that was
allowed, but it was on her shoulder, so it wasn't visible.
But the dress that she had was like a um, it was a it had
spaghetti straps, but it had like a white overlay, a
cream-colored overlay to it, but you could see her her tattoo was
black, so you could see her tattoo through the dress, and
they almost did not let her walk because you could see her
tattoo.
We had to take a really big bandage and slap it on her back
so that you couldn't see it.
SPEAKER_02: That's crazy.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, thank you for sharing.
That was very entertaining for me.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was a different experience.
I I did not enjoy um being someone that was different in a
school that prides themselves on conformity was an issue.
Yes.
But I had a lot of really awesome teachers that um I
actually still have a note in how I have managed to keep it
this long when I have moved all these times and like left shit
behind and tried to get over it.
I did find um it was a note that she had given me.
I do have it.
Great handy.
I knew right where it was, everything I know.
That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03: It is.
SPEAKER_00: Um, it was from my favorite, one of my favorite
teachers, and it is dated.
Illuminate it.
It's getting dark in here.
Um May 15th, 1992.
Uh, dear Heather, I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed
having you as a student this year and last.
I have watched you blossom into a fine writer and a dedicated
student, the kind of student every teacher loves to have.
I hope you know how many times you are my silent supporter in
class.
Many times the only one who seemed truly interested in the
literature for its own sake.
Even when your quiet voice got drowned out by a more vocal one
in class, I knew that you were seeking to get at the heart of
the material.
I still clearly remember your superb essay on the wife of Bath
and how justifiably proud you were of yourself.
And the same held true for your turn paper on Macbeth.
I'm certain that you will have a wonderful time at Delaware next
year, and that building on the solid progress you've made here
will be a fantastic success.
You are a true individual and a lovely young lady, both inside
and out.
I wish you all the best in everything you undertake, and I
hope to hear about it when you come back to visit.
With love, Erin Drew.
She was my my literature teacher.
SPEAKER_02: That was so sincere.
Like, yeah.
It wasn't just some bull crab.
Like, she she went into detail about what she loved about you.
That's really awesome.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I was um, it was very it was moving.
And the fact that I did a paper on the wife of Bath is
hilarious.
SPEAKER_01: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's what we were studying.
We had to do uh, you know, the Canterbury Tales in original
English, by the way, in old English.
We read it in old English.
Thank you very much.
And uh, so teachers like that.
Obviously, I didn't do anything when I got to college, and
obviously I didn't do anything with the rest of my life, but
you know, uh I to my father's dismay.
He will tell anybody who listens she she could have been anything
she wanted to be.
She could have been uh he he he when my husband first met him,
he told him she's so damn stubborn, she could have been
anything she wanted to be.
Yep, she's a genius, and she just doesn't want to listen to
anybody or anything anybody has to say about it.
SPEAKER_01: He is absolutely accurate.
SPEAKER_00: I it it's it's a shame.
I did I do regret not I do regret me, yeah, doing more with
my I I could have been anything I wanted.
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what that would have been, but yeah,
but also you grew up very family oriented and in the restaurant,
and like you were gonna leave that.
I mean, well, exactly.
SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel I did feel a sense of obligation that
I couldn't leave um for that.
SPEAKER_02: And you loved it, too.
SPEAKER_00: I did love it.
SPEAKER_02: It was obligation.
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I would have done well moving away
from here.
I don't know why.
I I I just don't think that I would do well anywhere else.
Your your family is close.
SPEAKER_02: You're yeah, you guys are close, whether you like
it or not.
SPEAKER_00: You are I don't like to be outside my comfort zone.
I don't like being in a city.
I think my autism kind of set me back.
Um uh so yeah, I think uh it is a shame that I didn't pursue
something and stick with it and uh fulfill my potential.
SPEAKER_02: Um but it's funny you say that because I feel the
same way, but I've actually been discussing this with my
therapist.
SPEAKER_01: I feel like I wasn't given the support that I needed
to become what I could have become.
Um yeah, we've actually talked about that in our past couple
sessions.
Oh, that's good.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's I think my other problem was going from
a class of 20 people to the University of Delaware where you
had 300.
Yeah, and and and to from that's that is one of the drawbacks of
private school.
Literally everything is micromanaged.
You like I said, they made sure that you were disciplined and
you were studying, and they'd call your mom and say, This is
what's going on, and blah, blah, blah.
Going from that, micromanaged by teachers and everything, to
nobody even gives a shit if you're there.
Nobody is nobody's holding your hand.
I think had I gone to Dell Tech for maybe a year and then go to
college, I think I might have done a little bit better.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But who's to say, I mean, I was I was I was into
school when I was there, and then when I left there, I don't
know, it all fell apart.
I also was drinking a lot at that time.
Um, you know, just a little bit of a drug thing happening there.
Um dealing with a lot of my own demons.
Uh I think it's probably set me back.
That absolutely all that all plays into it for sure.
So I think probably if I had been, if I was growing up now, I
probably would have been honestly, I probably should have
been a doctor.
I always say, or a lawyer, I I can argue any point you want.
I can play devil's advocate.
I can argue my work bestie all the time.
Well, bring me a subject and then I will say it, and he will
be like, Well, I believe the exact opposite until I heard you
prosecutor, or you you would have made a really good I'm I
really uh I think doctor or lawyer would have been the two
options that I I probably should have should have gone.
The doctor, just because that I I really fucking enjoy I I can
sit here and watch a uh you are fascinated operation until my
eyeballs fall out.
I just fucking love it.
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, yeah, but you're girls.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but here I am, and I didn't, you know, I'm now
I'm a male lady, so we'll work whatever.
And listening to the motorcycles that are going to drive me
insane.
All right, well, thank you.
Okay, thank you.
Now I have to now I have to see if this turns out at all.
It will.
Maybe, maybe we'll have an episode up.
If you're hearing this, I've worked some kind of weird magic
to make it happen.
I used my brain that Mrs.
Drew knew I had to make it work.
Um, okay, so oh, let me do my finishing thing.
So you can find us on all the socials.
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
SPEAKER_00: Uh like whatever pod.
Uh you can go to our website, likewhateverpod.com.
Like, share, rate review.
Uh we have some new listeners we have had.
This week has been quite good for us.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Um, you you need to like share and rate and review and bump us
up so that I can, you know, not be a male lady anymore.
Um you can oh geez, Louise, send us an email about how you got
disciplined in school.
Yes.
Like whatever pod at gmail dot com or don't like whatever.
Whatever.