Starbuck The Angry Merman
This week the mascot of the world's largest coffee chain joins us and shares his very strong and dated opinions.
We swear: no more mermaid episodes after this one.
Starbuck the Merman played by Eric Baudour of "100% Eat" and "Regulation Podcast"!
Join our discord at discord.goodmorningfromhell.com
Get roasted and support the show at goodmorningfromhell.com.
Get some Hellish merch at store.goodmorningfromhell.com.
Produced and hosted by comedians Chris Demarais & Blaine Gibson from Tales from the Stinky Dragon, Rooster Teeth, & Black Box Down.
Edited by Nicholas Newton.
Art by Andrew Douglas.
Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: It's your good friend Clayton down here any other world with.
Speaker 1: My best butt buddy buddy, Chris.
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean I guess i'm your butt buddy, but
we've never done any butt stuff. If you want to
put labels on it, that's fine. Well it's your choice.
Speaker 2: I feel bad, Okay, I meant to call you the
butt head, like he's my little brother. I'm like poking
fun of him, and then it became a butt buddy,
and now there's just hot in here.
Speaker 1: I'm like sweating. This is embarrassing. Yeah, it's hell, God
damn it.
Speaker 3: And that's where I live now because I'm dead and
my eternal punishment is to do this podcast where we
interview everyone in the afterlife.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Clayton, So I'm.
Speaker 2: Really tripped up over calling them a butt buddy. I
just I'm still Yeah. Anyways, say sorry, we've got a
great episode. Uh huh wow, huge guests, Chris, really big
big get you know those episodes where sometimes it's like
that's a person of like great influence, Like how do
we get them? And they're like still relevant up on Earth.
You've heard of them, our audience has heard of them.
They're universally known and beloved across the world in my opinion,
U huh so, and he gets you're gonna play a
little guessing game. Don't think too big because if you
think too big and it's not that, you're gonna feel
a disappoint Yeah, it's disappointing. Caesar Shave. Oh wait, no,
he got canceled. Oh that's I forgot he got canceled. Yeah, yeah,
he was beloved.
Speaker 1: He did a lot.
Speaker 2: So maybe he is here, maybe we could get him. Yes,
that's gonna be a great episode.
Speaker 1: No, it's not.
Speaker 2: You know what, We're gonna end the guessing game right there.
I'm just gonna tell you it's Starbucks the Mermaid.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, come on in, Welcome, Behold from Behold from
the Deep. Hello, sorry, excuse me, that's good, starbucking good. Sorry.
Would you come from way down deep in the water, Oh,
then go all the way up to have to come
all the way back down to hell? Oh? Yeah. Have
you ever seen the thing where like the pressure builds, yeah,
and like makes your eyes pop out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just gives me like a yeah.
Speaker 1: I just get that.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: You kind of got like a helium thing going normally
you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, deep lo lo low. I
don't usually sound like this. I usually sound a lot
better than this, but the pressure has changed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so that's why I sound like this.
Speaker 1: I see and underwater?
Speaker 3: Do you talk at some emotion?
Speaker 1: And why would that be?
Speaker 3: It just seems like when people talk underwater, it seems
like it's in slow motion.
Speaker 1: Chris, I mean, we listen, let's get something. I mean,
we've already talked about the Mermaids in the pass. You know,
we had an episode with the Mermaids. That's true.
Speaker 3: I should have asked it.
Speaker 1: Then, what remember the Siren episode from like way back?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had an episode with sirens. We had an
episode of the mermaid But hey, you're Starbuck. Yeah, the
main mascot of Starbucks. That's where I've seen you from.
Speaker 1: Now da are you shitting me?
Speaker 3: Right now?
Speaker 1: It's the person from the logo. Look at them, woud
it's not me. It looks just like you. There's some
minor differences, like you don't have big tits. Yeah, and
it's the one fin. I just have the one fin. Yeah.
So here's what I wanted to come and talk about. Okay,
I don't like the Starbucks thing. Oh my name is Starbuck.
That's my name. Uh they took that your name Starbucks? Yes,
in the seventies, I was just around s Yeah right,
I'm doing like pre grunge seventies kind of hard, or
like me and Hendrix getting together. He's by the sea
just wailing, and I'm out there.
Speaker 4: I'm just feeling. I'm feeling it.
Speaker 1: And then apparently this guy who's just starting up a
coffee company sees me. I don't know what's up with
his eyes, and he goes, come here, Oh, this is great,
this is great. I'm looking for inspiration. He asked who
are you, and I said Starbuck and he's like, that's
exactly what I'm looking for. And then I never saw
him again. No paperwork has come across my desk or anything.
You didn't sell the rights to your name, No, no,
it was all stolen from me. And then to make
matters worse, he takes my name goes, this is my inspiration.
Giant breasted mer woman with two tails. Yeah, Clayton, Yeah, Cleyton.
What am I more offended by the two tails or
the giant breast?
Speaker 2: Maybe this is because I'm like humanoid me and Chris
have two legs, were bipedal, I have hosts.
Speaker 1: He has feet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's like less weird than the two giant Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I get it. I work out, I got pecks,
like I understand, sure, I'll keep fit. Yeah yeah, but
nothing to stream and woman and then to take my name. Really,
I'm just sort of here to elevate Mermaids and Merman
to another.
Speaker 3: Level, okay, something above sea level.
Speaker 1: And that's why we have fun here on the show. Yeah.
I'm just trying to elevate Mrman to another level. And
that's why the Starbucks thing, that's not what I'm here
for sure.
Speaker 4: I don't want anything to do with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. See.
Speaker 2: The thing is is like when I brought you on. Yeah,
like I mentioned earlier, we've covered Mermaids pretty thoroughly.
Speaker 1: I would say, Chris, right, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: We had an episode on with two sirens. Yeah, well, okay,
we're like singing mermaids.
Speaker 1: I guess they're like cousins. Yeah, no, I get it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then we had a mermaid on who there's
the number one mermaid on only Fins?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: What was it?
Speaker 1: Marina? Oh Marina, Wow, big surprise. Marina made it somewhere
before me. Big shock. Did she talk about Murman at all? Yeah?
She actually did mention them.
Speaker 2: In fact, Yeah, she said that there's variations of them,
like they have to fish head in the legs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, don't this is old news. So I have
a lot of questions about coffee though, again, they took
my name right. Yeah, Like what if I started a
Kretum store and I called it Clayton's. What an honor?
That's yeah, that's actually a pretty good idea. Hang on,
I might actually write that down.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want to like, here's a pin? Yeah, yeah,
thank you, Clayton's creatom Okay do that?
Speaker 3: Chris?
Speaker 1: Do you want in on this Creighton thing? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Sounds cool.
Speaker 1: So you think that changing the name is how you
get in on this, well, go ahead, Chris. Like I
felt like we were pretty clear. We're calling it Clayton yes, yeah,
and we're selling Cretum yeah. And so you said Creighton's,
which is just a different thing.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know what Createum is.
Speaker 1: You want to find out after this? Sure?
Speaker 2: Out of respect for our audience in their time, this
is like an interview podcast.
Speaker 1: We like a topical. Yeah, happy to talk about Murman.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like we don't want to retread old territory,
retread like water water.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Still even the Mermaid jokes. We played out a lot
of Mermaid jokes.
Speaker 1: So like Marina last time?
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, So tell us about this seasonal Red Cups. Oh,
that's my first question I have written here. That's a
pretty big thing because I'm a red I'm really into
the troversy of the Red Cups in the Holidays.
Speaker 1: What did you think about that? What did I think
about Starbucks, the company that took my name in my likeness? Yes,
doing Red Cups?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, go ahead, remember people got mad?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Crazy? Yeah, So if you want to like address that,
I'm not really mad about the Red Cups. I guess
I felt like I sort of explained how I'm not
really a I like coffee.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, coffee's fine, But.
Speaker 3: What is your favorite coffee to get at Starbucks?
Speaker 1: Starbuck? What's your go to Starbucks order? And do you
ever a wait for this, Chris? Do you ever cause
confusion where they're like, hey, what's your name? So when
we call it your order and then you just you
say Starbuck that must be and they're like, no, no, yes,
that's where you are, right.
Speaker 2: It's like a who's on first situation at the Starbucks
with Starbuck and then and.
Speaker 3: Then it gets even more confusing because later when they
call it your name, yeah, a coffee for Starbuck, and
then everyone's like every coffee here is for Starbuck. Y.
Speaker 2: I bet that creates a lot of like funny stairs
and winks and laughs.
Speaker 1: I bet that's a funny day at the Starbucks. So
go ahead, Starbucks. I don't go to Starbucks, okay. You
know I've tried, yeah in the past. Okay, but they
didn't let you. No, they let me. It's just when
I show up and I go, hey, that's me, uh huh,
and they say you don't have two fins and I go, no,
I know. Your owner's a fucking moron. The bars says,
I meanthing to do with that? You know. I don't
want to get in their face about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I will. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well they got in your face on their logo.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah, they took my face and then they took
my name.
Speaker 1: And so first time I went, I remember, yeah, nineteen
eighty one, Seattle, Seattle, right, Yeah, rainy day in Seattle. Haha, Spike, surprise,
it actually flooded just enough for me to get up
on the street. Yeah. When I found out, like in
the seventies, you find out, hey there's this place it's
named after you.
Speaker 4: You can't get to it. No, I'm trapped in the water, Chris.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because the mermaid thing, right, Yeah, because I'm a mermaid. Yeah,
we've talked about that with Marina.
Speaker 3: Right, they don't even talk about mermaids.
Speaker 1: So what are your thoughts on cake pops?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 1: You know like those are delicious? Yeah, those are great.
Yeah did you come up with that? I like your idea? Starbuck?
Speaker 3: No, when you did first go into your first Starbucks? Yeah,
what did you think of the coffee?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 4: What did I think of the coffee?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, what did I think of the coffee? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like you went in and you're like, oh, look at
this place. This is my place. He's like, hey, I'm
I'm the what is it? What's the mascot?
Speaker 4: It's a boating reference.
Speaker 3: So you're like, I'm the captain now you know, yeah,
you're a mermaid man.
Speaker 1: So your question is what did I think of the
coffee when I went Yeah? Yeah, I walked in it's
named after me. A horrible caricature of me is on
all the cups and all the walls. Yeah, and you
are wondering, Hey, what did you think of the dark roast? Yeah? See,
this is what I'm talking about. I like coffee's just fine. Okay,
imagine for ten years when people around you are going, oh,
Starbuck like the store. And I'm four hundred and fifty
years old at this point. Okay, good for your age, Yeah,
thank you very much. Not as good as the low.
I take care of myself, you know what I do
avoid caffeine. So four hundred and fifty years old. You
meet people at parties, right, you guys ever been to
a lobster party? I mean I've been to a crawfish boil? Sorry?
Is that a fence? Is the cooking of my friend's? Offensive?
Are your friends with crawfish? Yeah? I just asked if
you've ever been to a lobster party?
Speaker 2: H Is that like a reference to the beef fifty two's,
like rock lobster?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Love that, yo, love the bee fifty twos. You
ever heard the beef fifty twos before? Yeah? Where do
you think they got that idea from? Do you think
it was maybe my friends and the lobster party we had. Oh,
do you think that maybe the sea is filled with ideas?
Seventy percent of the fucking world. It's seventy percent of
the world. You think there's no ideas coming out of
the sea. I bet a lot of the seafloor is
probably covered in a Starbucks cups. Yeah it is now.
So imagine going to a lobster party ten years into
hearing about Oh hi, I'm Starbuck, and they go, oh,
like the coffee shop, and you go no, no, not
like the coffee shop. And it's over and over, and
it's every day, and it becomes bigger and bigger, and
eventually it floods. I'm able to go. I go in
and it's just hideous caricatures of me everywhere. Imagine going
to a place called Chris's. Yeah, and it's your buck
and ugly mug drawn like shit all over the place,
Chris just everywhere it's selling bobo. We should write that
idea down. You actually do sell boba now again, I
don't do it. Okay, okay, Tall Grande and Vinty, what's
up with that? Am I? Right? Guys? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why are you French?
Speaker 1: Why not small medium Marge? Am I right? Like?
Speaker 3: Are you French?
Speaker 1: What's sea is out there? Dunkirk? You think I'm from
the land place of France. You know, you could be
off the Bay of France and that would make me French?
Speaker 3: Are there freshwater? French mermaids?
Speaker 1: Our audience is.
Speaker 2: Probably like, ah, like I'm worried about retention rate, Chris
if we're basically repeating the same episode.
Speaker 3: Like, sorry, we's just stay on topic.
Speaker 1: Now. Here's the thing. When you emailed me, you said, hey,
will you be on the show? I was happy to
do it. Yes, I would love to have a platform
to talk about Merman awesome, how we need to elevate
and really be strong. After I said yes, you just
sent me an invite and now I'm here, and you
never emailed me back about what I wanted to talk about. Yeah,
So the idea was just sort of, will prep Starbucks questions,
We'll talk to the Starbucks guy.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 2: I was just kind of like fist pumping, like yeah, yeah, yeah,
like we've needed a win for a minute here, you know,
like we're doing okay, We're not like killing it.
Speaker 1: So I was just like Starbucks is relevant all the time.
Oh it's the red cups. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh they're going to unionize. Oh they're busting their unions now, like,
oh no, where do they stand? I'm like this politician.
So I was just like, this is like my CNN,
this is like a rec Span moment. Yeah, and so
I was just really excited. So I didn't really What
do you think about no tax on tips? Yeah, what's
your thoughts on tipping?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not related to Starbucks. Yeah, directly, you're right,
I'm fine with no tax on tips. Okay. However, I
do think that it is another government subsidy for these
people who are just receiving more and more free handouts
from the people who are working hard. And I don't
think that it's right that they should just get a
free ride. Who well, the rest of us bust our
humps to try to get what we deserve because any
day now, those millions are rolling in. And if you
brought it up a second ago, and I do want
to speak on it, I do think that they need
to stop those unions from forming at Starbucks.
Speaker 2: Really could I'm sorry, I'm sorry, someone's at the door. Yeah,
this was like a surprise, thank you. It's an uber order.
I remember it was Starbucks. I thought it would be
kind of.
Speaker 4: You ordered Starbucks. You thought it would be like fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just got a few differents.
Speaker 4: Let me just ask you one thing. Yeah, did you
tip that driver?
Speaker 2: Like I said, good morning from Mill's not killing it
right now. So like I give them like a dollar.
I think that's like standard.
Speaker 1: So even that, to me, is too much to tip
these people tipping, Yeah, they're already making their wage, right,
And I'm fine with no tax on tips. To me,
it's just it's another handout. But we need to stop
these unions before they really take over.
Speaker 2: So I kind of wanted to do like a TikTok thing,
like hey, we're doing like a live taste test with Starbucks.
The Starbucks guy, So like, I got you a couple
of different things. They got way powder. Now you probably
don't know that because you don't like Starbucks anymore. But
I got you at Vinti. They got ube and boba. Now,
so I let's think of if we do like a
fun taste test and I'm like, well, give me your reaction, Starbucks,
if you drink those really quick, they're about to melt.
Speaker 1: Because it's hot here. I'm not gonna drink them. Chris,
you can, I'll drink them. No, chrisy no, no stop.
Oh it's good.
Speaker 2: No, okay, hold on, hold on, you're gona bring up
my phone. Okayme recording, Go ahead, Chris, what do you want?
It's like a live taste, says oh, can you actually Starbucks?
You don't have to drink it, but can I sorry,
I'm just gonna direct you really quick.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in it. That's funny, you're fine,
your fine kids to be back here.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say, can you just be like, hey,
it's the Starbucks, ubay, drink live now at the Starbucks.
And I'll whip over to Chris and then Chris, you
give me a reaction. Okay, go ahead, I'm recording.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, and if I do this, you'll allow me
to kind of speak on my platform. Hold on, I'm
gonna cut real quick.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're on TikTok, but TikTok's give
me several minutes long. Generally they're like quick, like a minute.
So I'm gonna go for a minute. So if I'm
gonna start recording, I'll say action and then I'll hit record, okay.
Speaker 1: And then you set it up, and then I'll Chris,
so here we go and action, Hey, it's Starbucks. This
is the ube drink. Okay, Chris melts it but good
and cut great. Okay, that was really good. Guys, that
was really good. So you don't tip anyone, no what
I do, And this has worked for me. I'm not
saying this is what everyone should do.
Speaker 4: This is what I do, yaka.
Speaker 1: I take five one dollar bills and I put them
on the table, on the table, huh, And I let
my server know this can be yours. Oh and every
time you do something wrong, yeah, taking one away, and
so they know. As a merman, I have the power
in that situation.
Speaker 3: Well, it's something that you might take a dollar away for.
Speaker 1: If they don't refill my drink very easy, if they
take too long coming with my food, if there's a
crying child kind of just near me.
Speaker 3: Sure, sure, that's not really their fault.
Speaker 1: Oh, you don't expect to be served at a restaurant.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Chris. When you're at a restaurant and they're
serving you, yeah, you're actually the king and you should
be getting exactly what you want one hundred percent of
the time. I'm kind of understanding. Am I wrong? While
you're down here? Now? Am I wrong?
Speaker 2: Next question, what do you guys' thoughts on gendering baristas?
Speaker 1: Should they be called buristas? I think that's actually really good, Okay.
I think that the more that we can gender okay,
these things, this is actually really important because I'm not
called the mermaid. I'm a merman, right. I want mermen
to be seen as equal, if not above, mermaid. Okay,
And I do think that mermaid that's a good term
if you really start to break it down and think
about those words. So we're gonna go ahead.
Speaker 2: We have an audience here on the Patreon where when
they follow us, they submit their name to be get roasted.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna switch gears a little bit, Chris, you'll
do some roasts, now, I mean, if you really just
break that down, mate, Yeah, And they should be working
for me, and they should be working.
Speaker 2: It's from user named Azarin. For their preferred pronouns, they
wrote indifferent. So I'm just gonna we're gonna move on
past that. I don't want your commentary and that I
actually picked this one because Azarin said just a tired
coffee addict who relies on sarcasm and caffeine to get
through the day.
Speaker 1: Huh. I thought this would be a great pick for
this episode because.
Speaker 2: You're, yeah, moving on happily married to a man who
looks like Rasputin's bastard child reborn.
Speaker 1: That's fun. Wow, that's cool. Must have a big penis.
You must have a big penis, Azarin humble brag. That's
where the power is actually derived from as well.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so I moved about what they do for
a living, their professional cleaner.
Speaker 1: I'll leave that interest to you for your imagination. That's interesting.
Do you ever think about that? Yeah? Uh huh, because
go ahead, Yeah, I'm leading this horse to water? Am I?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 1: All right, Azrene says.
Speaker 2: For an embarrassing moment or confession, they said for years,
I thought dix were shaped like pairs thanks to a
multitude of very lurid but confusing descriptions from Jean m
Aul the Earth's Children.
Speaker 1: Series What the fuck?
Speaker 3: What a Child series talking about pear shaped penises.
Speaker 2: In hindsight, those books were very inappropriate for naive preteens
to read, but apparently none of the adults in my
life thought anything of it.
Speaker 1: Are you with me still, Starbucks? You kind of look
at you're just you know, I'm waiting. Yeah, I'm just
kind of waiting. I have some things to say about this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they said it's a pretty good series, by the way,
at least until the very last book. I'd rather have
Clayton pluck my nails out. Yeah, Higarashi style. I don't
understand what that means than ever endure that travesy again, felt.
Speaker 1: Like it was an easy punchline for you to make
fun of a penis. Yeah, like Azrine didn't know what
Dick looked like. Yeah, yeah, I just don't see you
doing that the other way. And that's something to think about.
Speaker 2: Thank you Azrin for writing. Enjoy Raspe and have we
had him on the show?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, enjoy him. I hope your husband is
a fan of the show. I hope your husband is
letting you know what is okay and what's not. Sort
of going forward.
Speaker 2: Hey, moving on the next write in Uh fuck do
we need hey Starbuck?
Speaker 1: Yeah, can you give us a second? Yeah? Absolutely?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just kind of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Chris, do we need to like stop this episode?
He's got some like opinions.
Speaker 3: I mean he's foreigner and something years old, so it's
a little like, you know, yeah, it makes sense that
they're dated, oh dated opinion wise. But we've also had
like way older people on the show.
Speaker 1: No I know, and they've never been this like fired
up about like genders and stuff. Yeah, just got of
like a really bad attitude.
Speaker 2: So I'm wondering, like, is there anybody else we could
reschedule the episode with, Like we got a deadline and
meet it's got to come out Monday. Well, we know
Resputin's wife, right, Okay, I can get back to them.
They didn't provide an email contact back, so I don't
know logistically if we could get.
Speaker 1: Them in time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, sorry, Buck, we got a funny bit coming up.
Speaker 1: Yeah that includes you. So do we need to cancel
this episode or should we just like power through and
then like well if anything's canceled at Starbucks? But well yeah,
that's a fucking no brainer. Well, maybe we need to
educate Starbuck about like the Starbucks like the coffee place,
and maybe like maybe.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say about like women not being subservient
to man.
Speaker 1: I just don't think.
Speaker 2: That that's like our responsibility. But I do think it's
going to get a lot of people on our side.
So I think that's a good angle, Chris, because we've
got a lot of makeup for the first half of
this episode, So like, I want to make sure that
people know, like we're cool Starbucks, not exactly the guy,
not the company, but the company's Yeah. Okay, anyways, Startbuck,
come back in here, Chris.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got you. Wait, Yeah, all right. Sorry, there
were a couple of people out there walking around with
Starbucks cups, just these two girls the Dino car accident.
So I just slapped the Starbucks out of their hands, Okay,
told them that this isn't right. Yeah, get back to
what you should be doing, if you know what I mean, Chris.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: So this next one comes in from user Hammer.
Speaker 2: Hammer says that they recently graduated college and make content
on the internet.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Yeah that's great.
Speaker 3: Well we graduated college a long time ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, you got a whole career not ahead of you, Hammer,
I'll tell you that much. They said for what they
do for a living, that recently graduated college.
Speaker 1: We established that ammer.
Speaker 2: We can read and they have a degree in game
art and interactive Design. Hey, hey, I's coming for your job.
They make a Halo machinema project.
Speaker 3: Oh cool.
Speaker 2: They also recently started a podcast called Flying the Coop.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Actually, Halo Mashinema project sounds great. Yeah.
Speaker 4: There was one that I liked a really long time ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it used to be so funny, like a
long time ago, it was so good. Yeah, and then
they changed a lot. Yeah, and you know, go woke,
go broke is what I always said in Sokay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I.
Speaker 1: Don't know what they're up to now, but hey, I
like the idea of this one. You know, if this
one gets back to the real roots, then I'm all
for now. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. What about their podcast?
Find the Coop a little derivative if you ask me,
But I'm glad that they came on our podcast to
promote their podcast. That's pretty fun and that's pretty cool. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I wonder what kind of guests they've had on their podcast.
Speaker 4: Do you think anyone from the machinima thing when it
used to be good?
Speaker 1: Maybe? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I go listen to Flying the Coup. I bet
it's pretty cool. Wait, get this for an embarrassing story?
They said, huh, I don't think I get out enough
to have an embarrassing story.
Speaker 1: Okay, fuck, they don't have an embarrassing story.
Speaker 3: They just have a podcast. You have to do something embarrassed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's embarrassing enough. They just wanted to promote their
podcast on another podcast. Well it worked. Yeah, but I
mean as far as like gets well, we're not doing it,
is what we'll say.
Speaker 3: No, we're not promoting your podcasts.
Speaker 1: No, and what is it called Find the Coup. We're
not promoting your podcast Flying the Coop? No, thanks for
supporting our podcasts.
Speaker 2: But I feel like this is kind of like a
tax free kind of thing where you're like you're not
really paying because you got like a kickback for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I agree with that, and I think the tax
system sort of in general needs it a little bit
of an overhaul.
Speaker 4: Just if we're gonna speak on that, you know, any like.
Speaker 1: We're not, we're not, we're not. No.
Speaker 2: Hey, if you want to get roasted big time like
Hammer and Nazarin and Flying the Coup podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, shut the fuck off.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, you can sign up on our Patreon at
Don't Worry from hell dot com and then hey, we've
roasted a lot of you, and so like we needn't
more roasts. So if you guys can like fill out
the forms, there's like there's dozens of you, so go.
Speaker 1: Sign up out of ourselves there, shit.
Speaker 3: Fuck Starbuck, Starbuck. Yeah, we kind of wanted to talk
to you about something. Oh, Okay, I know you're four
hundred something.
Speaker 1: When you start getting past four hundred every year just
kind of feels like, what's another one?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I'm right around four ninety. I think
right at four ninety, so I'm like older than you.
In fact, I'm a demons, and demons don't age. Chris
is he's a youngster here. Yeah, Satan's a little.
Speaker 3: Brother, so right, so I've been around the block slightly
younger than Satan, who's been around since like the beginning.
Speaker 1: And your brother has a lot of good ideas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but here's the thing, Starbuck, I have grown my
opinions over the course of these centuries has changed and modernized.
I look at things differently than I did, say, five
hundred years ago, before you were born. Okay, So like
I think that that's kind of our responsibility, as you know,
creatures in this realm to kind of look at things
from a new perspective from time to time.
Speaker 1: I agree one hundred percent. Yeah, absolutely agree. Okay, great,
I'm totally on the same page with you. Also, same page.
Speaker 4: I get it.
Speaker 1: Cool, right, there's perspectives that we all have and things
need to change, and I agree with that. Okay. Hey,
maybe I'm not the right guy all the time, and
you know, I don't want to always say that I'm
the guy who knows what he's talking about and everything,
but I do agree with you, Clayton that these only
Finn's models are just disgusting. Yeah. Fuck, I subscribe to
dozens and I'm on there every month. I'll say it.
I subscribe to Marina and yeah, I'm trying to tell
her stop, you shouldn't be doing this. And then I'm using,
can I curse on this? I say, well, you can't.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I and that's oh wow, okay, yeah, and you wow?
I mean get them huh okay. Yeah. And she hasn't
responded yet, but if I keep paying, it's gonna go
through and she'll hear me eventually. So yeah, why are
you paying? It sounds like you hate her. I hate
what she's deciding to do but you, which is degrade me.
Wait what I feel bad? Okay for what she's doing?
Why about me? What do you have to do with it? Yeah,
you're not involved her doing it?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 1: Well, because you're paying her.
Speaker 3: It's a little bit of an oraboris you're incentivizing her?
Speaker 1: Literally, Yeah, it's kind of a snaky his tail here.
I don't follow.
Speaker 4: I don't understand.
Speaker 1: That's okay.
Speaker 2: Hey, you know sometimes in this life in the afterlife,
we don't understand everything. But like we can't default to like, yeah, fuck,
I'm a demon and I'm telling you not.
Speaker 1: To hate, but like, you gotta like stop with the hate.
I'm not trying to hate. I'm just trying to elevate mermen, okay,
to that alpha status that we all that we sort
of belong at. No, all right, exactly, you just jerk
off onto eggs who told you?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: What I do in the privacy in my own home
with my only fins accounts is up to what I do. Yeah,
it's just like and then I finish, and then I
send my hate messages. I say you, uh, okay, okay,
reeling it in, reeling it in, right, and Mermaid pun
he finishes it like a thin.
Speaker 2: Let's make this an episode about some fun mermaid facts
and things. Yeah, do you want to talk about Mermaids? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm looking to talk about Merman. Yes, one, forget coffee,
forget Starbucks. Yeah, we don't have to talk about Starbucks. Yeah,
let's move on for Marina. Absolutely, let's talk about like
how fast can you swim?
Speaker 1: Actually, Merman have an extra bone in their fin that
actually makes them faster than Mermaids. That's cool, so technically
so superior in speed.
Speaker 2: We've got like a bit of a quota to me
in terms of the episode run time. We've got advertisers
to the audience expectations, So like, what are some things
we can talk about that won't be so like we
don't have to draw gender into it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell us about your lobster party. Yeah, those are great.
That's where we all get together. Everyone brings a towel
and me and the guys are just in a room.
Everyone's logging and sharing their logins. Yeah on this, and
then there's one lobster in the middle. Oh, we're getting
like a little rowdy and it's like a little like
yeah crazy, and your hand's going here and your claws
going there, and it's like anything can happen to the
lobster party, you know, Clayton, and so no, I don't
reaching and he starts reaching around the lobster in the middle.
And let's just say at the end of those parties,
someone's leaving fertilize am I right? And so what that
does is actually makes you it more viral.
Speaker 2: Uh you said it's all guys, uh huh, and like
we're cool with that on our show, Like yeah, you know,
love is love and stuff like that, but like you
seem to hate or hate his hate.
Speaker 1: It's not really about love. Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2: Mean you don't seem like the type to like that
kind of the surprising.
Speaker 1: When it's just you and the guys, it's like, yeah,
I mean, no, that's great. I mean if you're hanging
out with your homies and you guys probably do this
all the time, right, I mean, like you know, like
you too, I mean I have friends that do it
as like Bud Buddy, you guys are just doing this
stuff in like that, didn't you? Yeah, okay, great, I
was just outside well, I mean I was yelling at
people as they're driving by.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but do you pay with sand dollars?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I actually pulled up the Google doc of
Marina and the Sirenses episodes. Yeah, and we have some
leftover questions from that we didn't get you we ran
out of time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, great episodes.
Speaker 2: If you're listening to this episode, if you want to stop,
you can go listen to those those episode, those ones.
Speaker 1: Those are going to then come back and finish this one. Yeah,
so do you sandells? We're actually like under the sea,
we're on the Australian dollar. Okay, Oh so you're Australian. No, no, no, no,
it's the adopted currency I see for US it's Oceana.
Speaker 4: Oh, like it makes the most sense.
Speaker 1: Sure, Okay, so our exchange rate's different like here to
like the US and everything, which I assume you're on
in Hell. I'm not really sure what's the currency here?
Blood money, souls, souls?
Speaker 3: Yeah, bitcoin, bitcoin makes sense.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's actually a really good point.
Speaker 1: Are you interested in NFTs? Next question? Hey, whatever happened
to Amelia Earhart? Wait? No, we had an episode with her. Yeah,
we already answered that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think there were crabs in it, and yeah,
they're similar to lobsters.
Speaker 1: Hey, well, the.
Speaker 2: Audience at home, if you want to listen to a
great episode. We interviewed a million airheart.
Speaker 3: Are there mermaids with two tails?
Speaker 1: Yeah? There are, but we don't point and stare, will
you fucking asshole? What kind of co host is this
with you? Clayton?
Speaker 3: But I wasn't pointing.
Speaker 2: He just doesn't understand your culture, dude. He's open minded.
He's wanting to learn. He knows when he's made a mistake.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me know.
Speaker 1: Like Chris is a fuck up, Yeah, chrisspid.
Speaker 3: But like I'm willing to listen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's at least open minded. Yeah fuck, it didn't
sound like it. Hey, can you he's off of Chris
real quick.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I torture Chris, but you're like coming in
hot on my co host here?
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Culting. I don't think it's a very nice thing to
point out about more people. Oh they have too agreed.
He pointed out my horns the first time I met him.
But he has changed.
Speaker 2: They don't bother him anymore. He's to stab him with
him and then he doesn't care anymore.
Speaker 1: It's fine. Chris is learning.
Speaker 3: I understand because that's part of his culture, Yeah, stabbing.
Speaker 1: Me, Yeah, that's part of your culture. Yeah, I mean
demon they're horns. Yeah, what else am I gonna fucking
do with them? Hang them? Audrey, of them guys. I
don't know if this is a very good fit for me.
I'm starting to think that as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, for someone who is just getting
really hateful about their fucking two fins, you're looking at
my horns like they're fucking weird.
Speaker 1: So I don't like the fucking vibes you're bringing in here.
I think it's pretty fucked up for Chris to bring
up what he brings up, and then all of a sudden,
you're like, oh, oh, me too, me too, What are
you fucking talking about? Me too? Me too? I just
don't understand how you make it about you when it's
a situation where Chris can apologize that we could just
move on.
Speaker 4: I just don't think this is a good just say.
Speaker 2: Chris is a fucking human. He's got mistakes, he's got flaws,
but he owns up to them. You know, he tries,
he's giving.
Speaker 1: Him I can see, I'm looking at him right here,
I can see all the mistakes and the flaws that
he has pathetic if you ask me, kind of showing it.
Speaker 2: Maybe he's been drinking too much into the fucking Starbucks
up on earth, you fucking asshole.
Speaker 1: Maybe you think about that. Well, hy motherfucker, how about
you go get a Starbucks, drown your own fucking ascid,
and how about that maybe we will.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you fucking dick, Yeah, hey, you know what, you've
been choking a boba.
Speaker 1: I hope the ocean boils.
Speaker 2: I hope that there's nothing but Starbucks cups at the
bottom of the seat for the rest of your shitty
fucking life.
Speaker 1: You know what. I hope the water floods, hell, and
you guys drowned. Stupid motherfuckers. You guys come through here.
He's talking all this shit about me. Here, get out
of here.
Speaker 4: Fuck you, I'm out of here.
Speaker 1: I'm way out of here. I'm out of here with
your two stupid fucking tails. Oh fuck you. Oh yeah,
I see how. He's a big fucking joke you.
Speaker 4: I'm out of here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good, good, irrelevant. God, he's slow, he's really slow.
That extra bone's on doing him fucking favors. I'll tell
you that. I'm sorry, Chris, I'm sorry, I'm hot, I
don't know. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: Good.
Speaker 1: Are you okay, I'm okay, I'm fine.
Speaker 3: Okay, I just didn't really Yeah, I wanted to jump
in more to I.
Speaker 1: Just know you did great.
Speaker 3: Hey.
Speaker 2: That's when you like run into a bully like that,
you know, like you stood your ground.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you, dude. Thanks, you did really good.
Audience at home.
Speaker 2: I know I can't ask you how you're doing, but
this is me saying, like, I hope you guys are good.
That was a tough episode, but like, yeah, it was
a necessary episode.
Speaker 1: We learned a lot. It needed to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I apologize if you were offended, Chris, I'm sorry,
I'm cutting you off.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, Well that was a good joke. What offended?
Thank you, Chris. That's important. Here, Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: For a comedy podcast, we make you laugh, but sometimes
it's not all about laughter. It's a serious world out there,
and sometimes you need to have the real conversations like
we did today with this fucking mermaid guy. Yeah, and
also for our Mermaid and Siren listeners, you guys are great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we love Creatures of the seat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go check out Marina not onlyfins. She's great, she's cool.
We support like our sex workers and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: They're awesome. They're out there, they're being brave in the
face of these fucking assholes. I'll tell you that much. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Fuck, if anyone wants to talk about anything, we're here.
Speaker 1: We're here for you. We're safe space down here in Hell.
Speaker 3: Yeah, safe space and Hell. Just reach out a get
morning from hell dot com, or we have a discord.
Speaker 1: We do have a discord. It's very good, it's very active,
and I'm all we're gonna wrap it up. This is
my promise to you, audience.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we will be back in a couple of weeks
with a fucking banger episode. It is gonna be the
best episode you've ever listened to. If you're listening at
this point, still listening to the show, thank you for
stinging around. This is my Clayton promise to you. We're
gonna make you laugh until you shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna make you shit your pants. Yeah, we're
gonna shait your pants. So good morning for well, Okay,
let's get the fuck out of here. Hill Clayton Jesus
does a lot.
Speaker 3: I know, I know.
Speaker 1: Let's go get a beer.
Speaker 3: Thank you to Eric Bador for coming in Starbucks. Eric
has been on the show many times and this is
the weirdest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a lot of fun. And Eric, you
are with Regulation Podcasts one hundred percent and you guys
recently did kind of a collaboration with Chris if you
guys want to talk about that.
Speaker 3: Oh that's right, Well tell people where can they find you?
Speaker 1: Just yeah, find me at Eric Badoor everywhere or whatever whatever.
Regulation Podcast one hundred percent Eat for anniversary, which is
May eleven, which is the day after my birthday, which
is the day that Rooster Keith closed May ten. Have
your birthday May eleventh, Thank you May eleventh. Our anniversary.
We're going to be having a lot of content coming
out for one hundred percent Eat. And we just sat
down with Chris and we watched all of Camp Betrayal.
So you have Camp Betrayal with commentary, which is awesome
and there's great insight from Chris where we just go, yeah,
why did this fall apart? On this part? He goes this, this,
and this, I don't know you could tell that Chris
gave his all to a show that we loved to
talk about me and Michael talk about it all the
time on one hundred percent Eat. So doing the commentary
with Chris was a lot of fun. And you could
tell that he put his heart and soul into something.
They made him redo four times before they made it.
It was fucking crazy. So it was a lot of fun.
So you guys should check that out on a patreon
dot com slash one hundred percent Eat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Second, we can mand Yeah.
Speaker 1: Shoot, this is a full circle moment because we had
you on as the bob Ador to promote that show
when it came out originally, and it was such a
good idea to put it behind a paywall, you know
what I mean, just make sure nobody sees it.
Speaker 3: So this commentary, yep, is it behind the paywall?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Probably, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We probably have to put it behind the paywall because
I think if we put it.
Speaker 3: On YouTube might get copyright.
Speaker 1: Think somebody might take it down, So interesting interesting might
be behind the paywall.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 3: It was really fun to do. If you're not familiar,
camportrails like a survivor reality competition that's themed around horror movies.
Horror movies and yeah, Eric, you're the host of it,
and Blaine is in it as well.
Speaker 1: Blaine is in it, I am yeah, Oh, Blaine is
so in it. You are a real focus.
Speaker 3: Thank you Eric for coming on.
Speaker 1: Everyone.
Speaker 3: Go check out that commentary because yeah, man, I'll tell
you what. That was a cathartic experience.
Speaker 1: You could tell by episode five, Chris is sort of
like in a zone. It really going like, oh this
is I remember making this one. Yeah that's pretty cool. Damn.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 1: Guys. Yeah, we're gonna go talk about all of our
sins and why we're going to hell. That'll be coming
on next week. Yeah, thanks Eric, Bye bye bye