The Fairy Dust Cartel
A maligned forest fairy exposes Tinker Bell’s darkest secrets while Clayton and Chris experiment with an addicting new substance called “Fairy Dust.”
Featuring comedian Claire Lim from the Real Imagined Futures podcast!
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Get roasted and support the show at goodmorningfromhell.com.
Get some Hellish merch at store.goodmorningfromhell.com.
Produced and hosted by comedians Chris Demarais & Blaine Gibson from Tales from the Stinky Dragon, Rooster Teeth, & Black Box Down.
Edited by Nicholas Newton.
Art by Andrew Douglas.
Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: I'm Chris and I'm dead and my eternal punishment is
to do this podcast where we interview everyone in hell
and I'm joined by the younger brother of Satan. Clayton's
gonna give the door.
Speaker 1: Wow. Books, Oh my god, so many fucking books. So
just gonna put it right here.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, there's a lot of books. It is
really hard to keep paperback books not on fire in hell.
Let me tell you that much.
Speaker 2: Yep, there they go.
Speaker 1: Oh god, damn, no, put it out, put out the fire.
Speaker 2: That's good, starting a library or something or what is this?
Speaker 3: No, this is research. So I'm gonna need you to
read all of these by tomorrow night. Okay, I'm gonna
need like an essay on it. I could feed this
through chapping GPT, but fuck AI, we need to get
it on this. Okay, we need to get on the
ground floor of this. Books well not books. Books are lame,
books are Bible. Books are bad. Okay, books can be good.
Books can be money. So like back books, A cord
of thorns roses. What is this one called fourth Wing?
Then that must be the sequel to one two three Wing. Yeah, dude,
fantasy novels. That's the money maker right now. The people
love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're gonna start a fantasy novel or a
fantasy podcast or what are you thinking.
Speaker 3: I haven't cracked it yet. I just know that people
are desperate for this bullshit. So got all these books.
I'm also gonna be bringing on a guest who might
be able to give us some more insights.
Speaker 1: So I really think this fantasy stuff is the way
to go.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, who is this guest that knows so much
about horns and roses?
Speaker 1: So they're just a person I bumped into.
Speaker 3: They actually poked me in the eye because I wasn't
paying attention, and it really fucking hurt.
Speaker 1: But then I started flying for a minute.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm just gonna have them come in Pam, pamn't
come in here, Pam?
Speaker 4: What? Yeah? Oh okay, yeah? Hi Hi?
Speaker 1: Whoa, Oh my god? Whoa whoa? Whoa? Hey you're flying everywhere?
Y whoa? Whoa?
Speaker 4: Would you want me to do them a fairy? For
God's six?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I brought this Barbie home chair. It's about your size.
Does that work?
Speaker 1: Do you wanna? Do you want to sit here?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 4: You know what, I'm good just like flying from them.
The Barbie home chairs aren't really my thing, but thank you, okay,
but thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I'm just trying to make it nice and
comfortable for you. You want to be great for our guests,
so yeah, welcome though.
Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you for having me. So you've got
these books. What's going on here?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, so, like I know that fantasy, romanticy, smut,
all these things. They're big right now. So I was
thinking we could bring you in and get on the
ground floor of all this stuff. I've got hooves, I've
got horns.
Speaker 2: Chris is Some people call me Twinkish, so yeah, some
may say that, yeah yeah, wait.
Speaker 4: A minute, are you the famous twinker Bell?
Speaker 1: I wish Okay, no relation, I'm mistaken. I like that though.
That might be a good nickname for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, okay, I was getting excited for a second.
Speaker 2: No, I'm just Chris, okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know a ton about fairies, but I would
love to learn more.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, so just teach us your ways if that's cool.
I mean, we'd love to have you on and like learn.
Speaker 4: Well, of course, you want to start with these novels,
you've got because I mean I was a bit of
a player back in the day. Okay, yeah, you know,
and all of that are fluffy stuff that all the
kids are doing. You know, I'm not sure if we
can really talk about it here.
Speaker 2: We don't want kids and the horny stuff.
Speaker 1: No, definitely not okay.
Speaker 4: Because you know, fairies are really horny. They are horny.
I'm glad that you're asking this because, quite frankly, I'm
kind of sick and tired of this, Like, ooh, I'm
just like a fluffy little fairy dressed in pink and
wearing a nice little sparkly out fit. Like, No, there's
a lot more to being a fairy then. I don't
know what you've been reading this kind of like litter
or smut or whatever you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what have you been reading?
Speaker 3: It's just the basic stuff like fairy godmothers and they
like grant wishes and bullshit and YadA dayada, like that
you grant wishes. I guess they can make people fly.
I don't know, Like, I just.
Speaker 1: Know that we've got to get in on this, all right.
It's big money right now.
Speaker 4: Well, we can make people fly with the fairy dust
that was like cool. We obviously made famous by many
famous fairies that you might have read about or seen
unpopular television and movie shows. But also when you come
into our domain, we control all of the plants. There's
like rules to the forest as well. You can't just
hang out in the forest. That's like Arizona, that's our domain.
If you break the rules is bad.
Speaker 3: So there's almost like a land development landlord situation that
we can also capitalize on. Okay, yeah, I like this. Okay,
so land development. I didn't know that fairies were involved
with that, but that's fascinating.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I was curious to hear more about the flying part.
Speaker 4: Here we go. You want to know about the flying part.
I've just told you a bunch of stuff. You want
to know about the flying stuff.
Speaker 3: We're talking domains here, Christy. You just want to talk
about flying, you know, tell me more about this fairy dust.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: It doesn't just make you fly, you know what I'm saying.
It makes you feel stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh nudge, it's a narconic.
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, we don't say that word. Okay, it's known,
but we don't say it. Okay. I got into a
lot of trouble, right, hence why we're all talking now.
But we don't say that. But it can make you
feel stuff can make you feel good, and if you're
talking about the horny stuff, it can make you feel
really good. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Oh, oh, okay, Chris, do you still want to try
this out?
Speaker 2: I mean I don't know, yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean how much are we talking about here? I
got a bag on me right now.
Speaker 2: If you realize how much does it cost?
Speaker 4: Can it cost you your fealty to the fairy kingdom?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: That's fun.
Speaker 4: It comes at a high price, quite frankly. And if
you're willing to basically sell your whole being and soul
to me, I can give you a little bit of dust.
Speaker 2: It's no problem, can I Clayton? Can I?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, can we do like a Coleise
on this because currently.
Speaker 1: I am the owner of his soul?
Speaker 3: But I really want to see Chris flying around with
a boner, So maybe we can negotiate something.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 4: I kind of want to see this too. You're right, okay,
I think it could work something out. Do you want
to try some now?
Speaker 1: Let's say you can have them on weekends.
Speaker 4: Sunday's a bit dull, so yeah, I'll take him on Sundays. Okay, cool,
this could be amusing. I want to see him fly
about with the boner just like the next fairy for sure.
So I'm up for that. Get your wand out, That's
what I say.
Speaker 3: So how do you go about ingesting the fairy dust?
What is this application process?
Speaker 4: Like? Okay, well, it's very simple. We need a willing participant.
That would be you. Yes, just close your eyes, sit
back and relax. I sprinkle a bit of that dust
on your head.
Speaker 2: Relax christ your actual head not you know, yeah, oh right,
right right.
Speaker 4: I mean because if we were to do it down there,
I mean I'm not really sure. We've never done that before.
We could try it.
Speaker 2: Probably burns might have to call it doctor.
Speaker 4: I've heard it glows. Whoa, I'm not sure it does
much else. We could try it.
Speaker 3: Let's try like the basic general admission and then we
can go for like the VIP package.
Speaker 4: Okay, general mission. I'm just gonna fly over your head.
Close your eyes, yeah all right, and oh you sneeze
that away, you just waste. That's good ship, man, that's
good ship.
Speaker 1: To waste it. Chris, whoa, whoa? Have another hit. It's
starting to work. He's starting to float a little bit.
Speaker 4: The top of his head's kind of glowing as well.
I didn't know that that happened like this. This is a
bad batch.
Speaker 2: No, no, it feels great.
Speaker 1: You cut in some like talcon powder or some glitter
in there.
Speaker 4: I don't have my real supply. I mean I'm down
here right like if I was in the forest, I
would have my connections. So we're just we're working off
some like cheaper stuff. It's still good.
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll have to talk about production later. I want
to get in again. There's just so much of this
fantasy stuff. Whoa, Chris, Chris, Chris, whoa?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? He started to fly around. He's
starting to fly around.
Speaker 4: Yeah, is your head okay? Your head is right yellow
right now? Like and he's flying yeah, fly Chris.
Speaker 3: What are you doing with your team them? And you're
showing that you're like moving your teeth.
Speaker 1: Yes, love fairies. He loves it. Fairies are awesome. Whoa
he's making for the window.
Speaker 4: Oh, I really think we should have like spring because
on his balls.
Speaker 1: Got do it to hit me? Hit me? Let's do it.
Let's go.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm flying over the area, shall we Okay? Well, okay,
it's not a big area, you know, each to the room.
Are you ready?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 4: Just like stop moving, stop flapping around.
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, I'll hold him down. He's got he's
so jittery. Look at him.
Speaker 4: Could you just lift it up so I can get
to the balls there is.
Speaker 1: I gotta be thorough with it.
Speaker 2: Chris, yep, are you ready?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: I gotta go. I'm out of here. Whoa the door?
I can?
Speaker 1: I can crow and bring me that hartoon. Okay, the
harpoon with the rope on it. Yeah, yeah, here you go.
Speaker 3: Hold on, hold on, almost there, almost there?
Speaker 1: Okay, I got him. Yes, we're reeling them back in.
We're reeling them back in.
Speaker 4: Okay, we're good.
Speaker 3: I bought this harpoon gun with this rope on it.
I never thought i'd need to use it. But here
we are, Chris trying to get away.
Speaker 4: Chris, you look great. Both your heads are glowing.
Speaker 1: I can't feel this harpoon.
Speaker 4: You look too wonderful. Chris is looking very festive. I
have to say. The babbles look brilliant.
Speaker 2: I'm like Captain Hook, get its fairies, tinker Bell, Chris,
all right, yes, bring it down, Lets bring it down,
Bring it down.
Speaker 1: Do you know tinker Bell?
Speaker 4: Look, dude, look, I came here with the promise that
I wouldn't have to talk about Tinkerbill.
Speaker 1: All right, duchy subject.
Speaker 3: I mean, I you know, only whatever you're comfortable with.
But seems like you got a lot of history there
is that I do.
Speaker 4: Look, what do you know of tinker Bell? You tell
me what you know of tinker Bell.
Speaker 3: Green dress, Peter Pan, hanging out with a bunch of kids.
She wants to fuck Peter Pan. Yeah, Julia Roberts, I think.
Speaker 4: She's so great. Right, everyone loves tinker Bell. Well, I'm
telling you right now, tinker Bell in that sweet she
sold her soul to Disney for a pretty penny. I'm
telling you she was dealing in dust centuries before me
and the council knew it. Uh huh. It's the biggest
cover up in fairy history. Yeah. I've taken the fall
for it. I've taken the fall from my beliefs for
being a true fairy of the forest. Yeah, tinker Bell
is the famous one. Tinker Bell is the one with notoriety.
Tinker Bell gets to go to all the premieres, but
not me.
Speaker 1: Now I hear every night at Disney. She's up on
the towers, I know.
Speaker 4: And you know what, she doesn't even use her wings anymore.
What she's not even using her goddamn wings. She's lazy.
I've said it. I said it, just lazy. She's not
a real fairy. She's lazy.
Speaker 3: That is interesting, and I'm sorry to have brought her up.
It seems like, okay, not a great vibe, and she's
kind of like a pariah of the fairy community. But
you are down here in hell and it seems like
take your bells like thriving.
Speaker 1: So what's your story then, Like how'd you end.
Speaker 4: Up down here for being a goddamn fairy? Like that's
all I was doing for centuries. I've been just chilling
in the forest doing my thing. Okay, keeping to the
council members rules. But we all know that if somebody
comes into the forest and they disrespect it, we're allowed
to mess with their shit. And that's what I did.
So this guy comes into the forest, right he peas
on my tree?
Speaker 5: Oh okay, full on WAPs it out pisses all over
the tree, right this respect, So as payback, I delivered
a bit of time slippage.
Speaker 4: Time slippitch for a human. Couple of hours for them
is actually a couple of decades in the real world.
Speaker 2: Holy shit, Okay, you're talking about exception type time slippitch, Like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot to uncover here.
Speaker 3: So like he just basically came to your apartment essentially
and just started pissing on everything. Yeah, and then you
tapped him into some like crono prison.
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, time slippage. I basically thought to myself, Okay, let's
mess with this guy. Right, and his name was Keith. Okay,
of course, so we messed with Keith a little bit
time slippage. No problem for him as a couple of hours.
Actually twenty seven years had passed for him. But I
thought to myself, do you know what else we've got
him in this time slippage? Why not get him to
do a couple of chores, like dealing in some dust.
Oh I can't be there all the time.
Speaker 2: He became your mule, I see, speaking of dust man,
I'm just my head is starting to all right, I.
Speaker 1: Could really use another hit he's coming down. Literally, he
started to sit back in his chair.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, I could really use another.
Speaker 4: I don't know what you think. Should we? Should we?
Speaker 1: I mean you know, I know that you got a
litit supply. I'm good for it.
Speaker 2: I'm good for a swear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, good for it. We'll work it out.
Speaker 4: Got any catnap? I can mix it with some cantnap.
Speaker 3: Yeah, chrishare cat's kind of a brow of mine. He
was actually around here not too long ago. So check
that top drawer right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my head.
Speaker 4: I can't see anything in the top drawer, but both
of them. You know what I do see? Kay?
Speaker 2: Litter, kitty litter.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's fine, Yeah yeah, mix in it with whatever.
Hold on, Chris, it's okay.
Speaker 4: Chris, Chris, I got you, I got your bro. I
got you think. Are you ready? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, yeah, it's fine again. Well hold on, no,
I'm not gonna let you get away.
Speaker 4: We don't be rubbing that in your eyes.
Speaker 2: Wash your hands, yeah, okay, all right, Chris, Yeah, rub
it in my eye?
Speaker 3: Well okay, So anyways, let's go back to Keith. Keith
the King kind of your your drug mule.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to let you I've done this before.
I've had many drug mules. Sometimes it lasts for ten years,
sometimes twenty seven. Sometimes they just.
Speaker 1: Died, Okay, yeah, you know what happens with Keith.
Speaker 4: It was twice seven years and he was great drug mual,
probably one of the best. I mean, Keith's usually are.
So I had a great time with Keith. We were
like out in the town doing her thing. It was popping.
But when he came out of that, he was ninety
seven years old and on his deathbed pretty much, and
the council found out about it, and they just weren't
that happy. And I'm telling you right now, it's not
like any of them haven't done that before. But no,
I took the fall that got banished from the fairy
kingdom and here we are, yeah, and this is my penance.
Speaker 3: So after twenty seven years of sirvice, Keith didn't like
testify before the council fairies, did he against you?
Speaker 4: Keith actually passed away and had to bury him under
somebody else's tree and the smell wasn't great.
Speaker 3: Not to like talk about physical characteristics, you are about
the size of a Lego minifigure. How did you get
Keith's body buried under a tree. How did you go
about that? Or the logistics on.
Speaker 4: That in the fairy kingdom don't matter, you know what
I'm saying, Like I'm a really powerful fairy. Just sprinkle
some dust and some other humans get them to do
your bidding. People are peeing on trees all the goddamn time,
so why not. And if I sprinkle on the body,
I can make it float, do things turn over. I
can like get the foliage to cover it. You know,
I control all of the plants and all of this
stuff in the forest.
Speaker 1: So awesome. Okay, Chris, Okay, Chris, you're right there. Yeah, okay,
do you want me to mule?
Speaker 4: Hey?
Speaker 1: Hey, I can mule. I can mul Do you want
to put my butt? Okay?
Speaker 3: Well you have on Sundays, so I guess you could
if you wanted.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let me grab your email after this, Chris, good
morning from hell at hotmail dot com. You've got hotmail? Okay? Cool?
Speaker 3: Al right, okay, cool, we'll bring it down. If this
is a job interview, let's like kind of bring it
back a little bit, okay, because you're yeah, I'm just really.
Speaker 4: You got it, Chris, you mean Sundays. Don't worry, Brog,
I go, yeah, just like.
Speaker 3: Cool man, Pam's cool. Everything's cool man. It's like that
thing in your chest. Are you feeling that at all?
Speaker 1: Still?
Speaker 2: What thing in my chest?
Speaker 1: A harpoon?
Speaker 4: Oh? Now?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know what else I don't feel? It's stressed about
my finances. Summer's here and me and Clayton are going
on vacation. We're taking a cruise all across Lava Ocean,
gonna hit all the hot spots. And we were able
to plan this vacation because of how I'm organizing my
finances now and I know exactly what my budget is.
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So back to our discussion on fairies.
Speaker 3: Pam, you're like super cool, but a lot of what
we know about the fairy community is like from pop culture.
So like, are there any other like fairies of significance,
of great import that you can talk about?
Speaker 4: Like, well, we all know them at Summer's Night Dream.
You all know that Zelda stuff. But quite frankly, you guys,
I'm here to talk to you about Scottish fairies.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, sure.
Speaker 4: When we think about Scotland, all we ever hear is
shrank and we're always goblins and orcs and shit.
Speaker 3: Yes, you guys got that too, you know, haigis no
bad subject.
Speaker 4: Okay, technically we do. Okay, we don't eat them in
the fair Kingdom, we just eat mushrooms and stuff. We
just chill in the forest and we're vegetarians. Haigas's sheep stuff.
That's the technical term sheep stuff. But Scottish fairies are darker.
We are way more misgievous, and we are way more malevolent.
So I'm telling you we're powerful. So nobody knows that
about us. But no, all I ever get is, oh
my god, have you seen Shrek? Yeah, and he's not
even freaking Scottis. She's Canadian. He's not even real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: I know some real goblins and orcs and trolls, and
they are cool. Shrek is not cool.
Speaker 3: All right, I'm glad we got that up. That's a bummer.
But you know what, that's why we're having you on
the show. We're gonna capitalize on this whole fantasy thing.
But also we're gonna learn a little bit. In fact,
I actually want to learn a little bit about our community.
You know, let's do some roasts. Yeah, howie, Okay, Chris
is do it. Yeah, I'm very excited. Chris so Pam
just so you know, we have a good morning from
her listeners, and they'll write in if they follow us
on Patreon, then they can have an opportunity to get roasted.
Speaker 1: So let me see this first one is from Kiki.
Oh that sounds like a fairy name. Well they say
they're a she hurt or goblin goddess. So do you
know Ki?
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, he's actually a very common troll name,
very little fat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, Kiki or Keiko. They go buy more things,
it doesn't matter which they said. They like to read
a lot of books, mostly fantasy or smile what ah,
and they watch their favorite content creators, play video games
or listen to podcasts throughout the day.
Speaker 1: They also are a big.
Speaker 3: D and D NERD Dungeons and Dragons Yeah, okay, hold lame.
Speaker 2: Are you involved in that at all?
Speaker 4: That sounds dumb me Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah yeah, I
did have my own D and D group, But it's
different in the Fairy Kingdom. We'll do it the way
you guys do it, like humans do it, where it's
like oh I'm an arc ha haa, like oh I'm a wizard.
Like we just play humans, like really average humans.
Speaker 1: Oh so you're like a level fourteen Tom.
Speaker 4: I got to a level seven Trader Jewels employee.
Speaker 3: Whoa, So we're some of your feats, including like the
ability to bag cans very fast or something.
Speaker 4: You know what, baggage is a bit of a magical skill.
It's all about the tetra thing. Oh and you can
use that to like pack shelves, yeah, really fast, really tight.
And also the ability to find a parking space at
Trader Jewels when there is none as magical ability you
might have.
Speaker 3: Also, multi classes have barred like most Trader Joe's employees,
or they just talk to you and they just have
like charisma, I guess buffs.
Speaker 4: The charisma is high with the Trader Joe's thing, absolutely high. Yeah,
so we just basically play really average humans. Not to
say that Trader Joe's are average, of course they are
above the average shop employee. Of course we've all seen
those shirts.
Speaker 2: You're pretty high level, pretty high level.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it got to level seven. I would love
to start another. You know what, if you want to join,
we could do we could all be Yeah, let's do it.
What would your average human character.
Speaker 3: Be, maybe like a level two bin tech support. Yes,
some sort of like techno wizard kind of thing.
Speaker 4: I think that'd be fun, just turning a computer off
and turning it on again.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Perfect, That sounds action packed. But back to Kiki though.
Kiki says that they love to play D and D.
They're big D and D nerve. They love playing obscure
races and classes. The most recent character was a Goblin
that multi class between a ranger and a druid who
had some weird animal companions.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, Kiki, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: As far as what they do for a living, they
clean a lot during their off hours as a custodian
for the school they work at. They also do housekeeping
jobs for friends and family or friends of friends.
Speaker 1: They say.
Speaker 3: When they're not cleaning, they're hiding away to read, sleep,
and paint their nails. Kiki's got an action backed lives. Guys, Kiki,
you're going crazy, Kiki.
Speaker 4: I feel like Kiki would make a good mule, Kikey says, sociable,
that's what we want.
Speaker 3: Kiki's like a level seventeen kustodian. They probably have like
mop proficiencies, you.
Speaker 4: Know, brilliant.
Speaker 2: You don't give them my job.
Speaker 1: I could do this, don't give it to Kiki.
Speaker 2: Look up, Tull please, Pam.
Speaker 1: I just need another.
Speaker 4: Need more dust. Are you getting tired?
Speaker 2: If you're offered, if you got a little more, sure
I take a little hit.
Speaker 4: There's no catles left, but there's some dried up poops
we could just mix.
Speaker 1: That's fine. I think there's some sawdust as well. You
can cut it. He's fine, he's fine, Chris.
Speaker 4: Just give me a second, right, just look over there
for a second.
Speaker 1: Oh man, lights are so bright.
Speaker 4: I'm ready. I'm ready, Chris, come over here. Yeah, just
ignore the smell. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Oh burn good, it should it's good. This is good shit.
This is good shit. I'm glad you like that, Chris.
It's pure, uncut, very dush, really quick.
Speaker 3: To finish up with Kiki, they sit on embarrassing stories.
They would like to confess that they're embarrassed of their voice.
A Kiki, they used to do choir, and all the
times they tried to do a solo, they felt like
their voice, which some people have called sounds like mini mouse,
has been the reason they never match the notes perfectly.
They just go on and talk about how they hate
their voice because they sound like Mini mouse.
Speaker 1: Yo hate Manny.
Speaker 2: You know what, Kiki, I hate my voice and I
do podcasts for a living.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Kiki could be worse. You could have Chris's voice
and be doing podcasts for a living.
Speaker 4: Kiki. I bet your voice is distinct, and that's what
you want. Do you want to be like everyone else? Kiki?
You could be like me stuck in hell?
Speaker 1: Exactly, Kiki.
Speaker 3: You know this became less of a roast and more
of like a pep conversation for Okiki.
Speaker 4: There. It's all good, Kiki. We believe in you. But
you know what, I wanted to change my ways a
little bit. You guys, I don't want to rules to anyone.
When I was up there in the woods, I just
feel like I was dissatisfied. So I'm going to try
and change my ways. You go, Kiki.
Speaker 2: Good for you, We go, Kiky.
Speaker 1: You keep at it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, thank you Kiki for writing in And if
you're listening to this podcast, you can follow us on Patreon.
Speaker 1: It's a goodmorek from hell dot com.
Speaker 3: It will see you like a link to a sheet
that you can fill in your roast request and then
we'll will roast you.
Speaker 1: So yeah, how are we doing crazy?
Speaker 2: Just like feeling a little off.
Speaker 1: You're sweating like a hoddle dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, you know, I'm feeling hot cold at
the same time, but also sweat.
Speaker 1: Okay, is this normal?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is this normal?
Speaker 4: Absolutely? And you know what's the rates of passage? As
a first time dust user, you just gotta go through it.
Speaker 2: Man, Like, Yeah, well maybe if I just had a
little more dust, it might help.
Speaker 1: It might help me.
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, if I just had a little more, I
think it might help.
Speaker 1: Have you had any more?
Speaker 4: No, I really do it.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry man running low? Yeah, would you get anything
else like pixie dust?
Speaker 4: Pixie dust? Like you think that I would carry that
bullshit you're sweating? No, okay, Like you'll be shitting bricks
right if you use that crap, because that crap ain't clean.
Speaker 3: We touched a nerve with pam, Okay, so tell us
what's the tea on pixies?
Speaker 1: Then they're all right.
Speaker 4: They're just kind of like fairy light, okay to me.
I don't want to piss off the Pixi community. I've
known a few pixies in my time, and they can
be okay. As I said, they're more of like a
goblin troll archetype of gal. They're straightforward, but now they
can fly. They can do all the things that we
can do. Right, They do like illusion casting and stuff
as well. Okay, they obviously have magical abilities. They are
smaller than us, by the way, just saying they're smaller
than us and just more of kind of a prankster,
low key vibe and to be honest with you, so
over it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Is there like a gang war going on between the
fairies and the pixies.
Speaker 2: Or is it like children along?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: What's going on on the outside. Both councils are at peace.
We're not on a time of war right now. Okay,
the Fairy Council and the Pixie Council, we've agreed to
just lay down our ones and live in peace. Okay, Okay, However,
we all know there are factions within that we don't
like each other, and mostly is because they're selling a
dirty supply. I got the good stuff. We got the
good stuff. It's taking away my business.
Speaker 3: For our human listeners so that they could wrap their
heads around it. Is this kind of like the difference
between the Scottish and the Irish, or more.
Speaker 4: Like Scottish and English to be honest, okay, and of
course we are superior. No offense to our English listeners
or pixie pals that are out there, but we all
know the truth. They know it, we know it.
Speaker 1: Just see okay, all right?
Speaker 2: What about like in terms of the band, like, are
they Pixies?
Speaker 4: Oh? I love the Pixies. Well, the Pixies are great
nineties band. Oh my god, at the end I was
a huge fan of Fight Club as well. Oh yeah,
at the end that Pixie's churn playing and the building's
crashing down. That's the real shit. Man. If you want
to know the real fairy spirit, watch Fight Club.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, where's my mind?
Speaker 4: That's who we really are.
Speaker 2: No, really, though, where's my mind? I's felt, My mind
is jumping a million miles an hour. Oh Chris, you
are looking hammered.
Speaker 4: Shit, Maybe you need to eat something. I've got this mushroom.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, maybe you want to get a cross faded
look like a mushroom or something.
Speaker 1: Or is that like a crazy mushroom or what is that?
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie. I'm not really sure you know
what I'm saying. I don't do the mushrooms. We just
I dabble in the dust, but not the mushrooms. But
this could be an interesting experiment because then if we
know what this does, I can maybe sell more of
them down here.
Speaker 1: Tist it out. It's Chris, he's our labrat. Dude. Just
go nuts on him, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll take anything you got right now, honestly.
Speaker 4: Okay, take this right. I would maybe say a largish bait.
Speaker 1: No, Chris, slow down.
Speaker 4: Oh it's gone, it's gone. How are you feeling? Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: It seems calm. He seems okay to me.
Speaker 1: I think that might have just been an ordinary mushroom.
I don't think that there's anything going on with it.
Speaker 4: Wait. Wait, he's got a massive boner. Oh yeah, if
the dust didn't do it, then the mushrooms dead.
Speaker 1: It makes you grow.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we know the dust makes you glow and
the mushrooms make you grow.
Speaker 1: Okay, there's some rhyme there, Campane.
Speaker 4: You're talking about your novels. This is all good research.
Speaker 1: This has been really handy.
Speaker 2: This is good, Thank you, Chris.
Speaker 3: Now, we just got to figure out how to like
monetize this, and then I think are like golden easy.
Speaker 4: I tell you what, if I fly about telling everyone
down here, they're going to get big lit up boners.
I'm telling you, no problem.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a line out the door.
Speaker 4: This is great, especially at Christmas, at Christmas time, brilliant.
It's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, they're festive. It's fun, it's in season. Yeah, absolutely, Okay,
I'm liking this.
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on it? Chris?
Speaker 2: So everything's just swirling around right now, and I've just
got this, Okay.
Speaker 4: Cool swollen or swirling, because those are two different things, Chris.
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like my lips are swollen.
Speaker 1: Are my lips swollen?
Speaker 4: Oh? Always allergic? Are you allergic to mushrooms? Chris?
Speaker 1: It might be odd. Are they as big as my head? Yeah?
You look more red than I do. Oh my god?
Oh what is that? Hives? What are those?
Speaker 4: But the crow cherry is looking fine. I'm not looking
a lot. What I mean.
Speaker 1: I think that that's a win, you know, I think
that that's a w Chris.
Speaker 4: You know, yeah, you're all right, Chris. I mean everything
else is working right, you know what I'm saying. So
it doesn't really matter about face. No, one's looking at
your face.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I can tell that your eyes are
swollen shut, so you're probably not able to see what
we're talking about.
Speaker 1: But I think you're gonna be okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's fine. I think he said he's
feeling good. Okay, thanks Chris.
Speaker 1: That's great, Chris, that's good stuff, buddy.
Speaker 2: All right, I.
Speaker 4: Think he's fine. I don't know. I think is enjoying himself,
to be honest with you, is more action than Chris
is seen for a long time. Let's face it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that might have been a death rattle.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure he'll come back. It's hell, he's gonna
come back.
Speaker 4: It's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, Pam, this has been super insightful. I feel like
completely educated on what's going on in the fairy community.
So this is great having you on. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Thank you. I'm really glad to have been brought in
this and been able to really kind of an insight
into how the fairy community works because I feel that
the people need to know. So thank you very much.
Speaker 3: And don't be on random trees out there, guys, because
you might wake up twenty seven years later and have
a fairy dust addiction.
Speaker 4: Say this, you know the part and fair and gully
where the carves I think out in the tree and
she goes, can you feel it's pain? That's real. That's
totally real. Trees feel pain and they do not like
to be peed on. Respect the trees hashtag respect the trees.
Speaker 3: Okay, respect the trees. Well, that's been another episode of
Good Word from Health.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3: Like I said earlier, go check us out at good
Morning from Hell dot com.
Speaker 1: That's where our patriot is.
Speaker 3: We also got some merch over it's stored on good
Word from Hell dot com, so give that a look.
We got shirts, we got all sorts of mugs and
fun stuff. Chris, anything to add He's okay, right, I
think he's fine.
Speaker 1: He'll be fun. Thank you, Chris, Thanks for listening. Thanks Chris.
All right, Hail Clayton.
Speaker 3: We'd like to thank our very special guest Claire Lim
for coming on.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Claire, Thank you for having me so fun.
Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So friend of the show, Lise Williams put us in
contact with you, so like, tell us what you're working on.
Speaker 1: What are you doing these days?
Speaker 4: So I'm still hosting conventions from the us to the UK.
I've got quite a few coming up that haven't quite
announced yet, but I've got a busy old three four
month said of me. So if you want to find
out where I am, if I'm coming into your state
or city, your country, it's just we clear here on Instagram.
I'm also relaunching my podcast Real Imagined Futures, which is
about what famous movie characters did after their stories ended.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's a good concept. So is this like a
fan canon thing, like you kind of use context clues
to decide or is this like canon things?
Speaker 4: Well, it's almost like we're making a sequel on the spot, right, Yeah,
and it usually ends up in therapy or alcoholism. Yeah,
missus doubt far was a hard episode. Oh oh god,
those kids, those poor kids. You guys should come on.
Absolutely would be so so fun.
Speaker 2: We would love to do that, absolutely.
Speaker 4: So that will be coming out at some point, definitely
before the summer. So just my Instagram or my website
weeclaar dot com or we clear here on Instagram for
all that not newes. And it's we wee like we
as in small, we we clear here. That's me small.
Speaker 3: I had to shut down for a second, because now
I'm thinking of all the movies that I could like
rewrite the sequel to. That's such I've never heard of
premise for a podcast, Right've been like, that's a banger.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so cool. What is it called.
Speaker 4: It's called Real Imagined Pictures.
Speaker 2: And there's episodes already out right now that people can
go listen to.
Speaker 4: There are episodes out co hosted episodes, so I had
a co host, my lovely youtubeer friend Ashens. But we're
going back to like a guest led format. Notes, it's
just me and a guest. Previous guests I've had are
Katie Sakoff, Sean gunn Oh. Katie Sakoff did The Devil's
Advocate and that was a great episode.
Speaker 1: Oh shit.
Speaker 4: The guest chose a film that we've not done before,
and then we just talked about where we were in
our lives, how we felt about the film, and then
what the characters might be doing.
Speaker 2: Now, that's great.
Speaker 1: I love Katie Sakoff. That's so cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, everyone go check it out because that sounds awesome.
I would absolutely love to be on episode. That sounds
like a blast. Hell yeah, hell yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: Well, we're gonna go record why we're going to hell
and talk about all of our will send, so until
next week, my